It's not the same Chapter 1, an o.c. fanfic

Set about a month or so after Blaze of Glory.

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Outside school, lunch.

"Hello girlfriend" Seth said as he sat down beside Summer and put his arm around her shoulders, pecking her on the cheek.

"Cohen, I'm really worried about Marissa."

"Okay, straight to business, no pleasure."

"Cohen, I'm serious okay and I need you to be serious and act more maturely for five minutes."

"Okay, just hold on and I'll set the timer on my watch."

Summer hit him on the arm. "Stop being a jerk."

"Okay, but seriously, why are you worried? I haven't noticed any bad signs when it comes to Marissa, but I have noticed an improvement in Ryan. Do you think there's anything going on between them because that would be so awesome."

"Shut it, Cohen. Ryan might be happier, but Marissa is not okay? She doesn't look happy and she never smiles anymore."

"Sure she does, I see her smile all the time."

"Yes, but those are fake smiles. I know her and she is not okay. She hasn't been okay since Alex disappeared. And you probably haven't noticed it, but when she was with Alex she didn't drink much and now she drinks even more than she did before."

"You're right, I haven't noticed that…Are you sure?"

"I'm supposed to be her best friend, remember?"

"So you're sure there's nothing going on between Ryan and Marissa?"

"Yes."

"What a shame."

"There's just no use in trying to talk to you. I'll call you later, moron."

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There was a knock on Marissa's door and she hurried to put the bottle she held into one of her drawers.

"Who is it?"

"It's Summer."

"Oh, come in."

Summer walked in and gave Marissa a hug. She smelled the alcohol.

"Have you been drinking again?"

"It was just a little swig, you know to keep me through the day."

"Coop, the day is almost over and you didn't come to school, which you said you would."

"I know, I didn't feel well."

"No, you haven't for the past weeks. So what's the matter? Is it the I-miss-Alex virus?"

"What? No, I'm totally over her. I mean, what could a girl possibly see in another girl right?"

Summer raised her eyebrow.

Marissa looked away and out of the window. She sat still for a moment before she started whispering.

"She was perfect. Her body, her smile, her eyes…I could stare at those eyes for hours."

Tears started running down Marissa's chin.

"Aww, Coop. I'm so sorry." Summer embraced her best friend and held her tightly.

"I know that you're hurting right now, but I think it would be good for you to get out a little. We can hang out at the Cohen's?"

"God no, Ryan will be there."

"That bad between you huh?"

"I just feel like he thinks I'll go back to him now that Alex is gone, but I don't feel comfortable around him anymore."

"Have you ever really felt comfortable around him?"

Marissa gave Summer a questioning look. "You know you're talking dirty about someone who's supposed to be your friend right?"

"Nah, you were my friend first and I've always said to Cohen that you and Ryan are great with each other as long as you're not actually a couple."

"Interesting." Marissa said uninterested.

"But I've got the perfect idea. Let's go to the mall and burn some cash. I know you haven't done that for a while."

"I don't know Summer."

"Yes, you do. Get up and take a shower so we can go shopping."

"No."

"Right now, young lady, or I'll go rage blackout on you."

"Okay, I'm going."

As soon as Marissa left the room Summer started searching for Marissa's cell. When she found it, she looked for Alex' number and smiled when she found it. Quickly she stored the number on her own cell and put Marissa's phone back where she found it.

Thirty minutes later the two girls were ready to go to the mall and for the first time Summer was almost looking forward to get done with the shopping so she could go home and make the phone call she knew she had to take for Marissa's sake, almost. She figured some good old shopping was a little more rush than what she had to do later, since it had been too long since she went shopping with Marissa.

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Four hours later Summer entered her house and went straight to her room. She sat down on the bed with her cell-phone and looked at it for a minute, trying to make up her mind, before she found Alex' number and dialled.

She sighed when she got the voice-mail.

"Hey Alex this is Summer…Marissa's friend. I don't know how you're doing, but Marissa is not doing very well right now. She has been sad and unhappy since you left and she's been drinking a lot. I don't know why I'm telling you this really, because for all I know you're over her and all, but if you're not I just wanted you to know that Marissa really likes you and that she regret what she did, even though she won't tell anyone that and pretends everything is fine. I guess that's what I wanted to say…Bye."

As she hung up, she sighed again.

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Alex walked out of the bathroom and picked up her cell. She saw that it was turned of and silently cursed. My mom will probably have a heart attack if she has called and I haven't answered. She hurried to turn the phone on and noticed she had gotten one message and several voice-mails.

She decided to check the message first and saw that it was from Jodie. She sighed. Jodie was bugging her all the time. Obviously she was thinking that Alex moved back from Newport because she wasn't over Jodie and she didn't want to explain the real reason, so she just tried to stay away from Jodie as much as possible.

She didn't feel like answering the message right now, so she went to the voice-mails instead.

There were four new messages, the first two of her mother telling here to pick up the phone and get her ass home so they could talk. The third was from Jodie who rambled on about how much she missed Alex and how they were always meant to go back together. Then she got to the last message.

"Hey Alex this is Summer…" Alex froze as soon as she heard Summer's voice and for a second she stopped breathing. Why was Summer calling her? Oh God, had something happened to Marissa? When she shook herself out of her trance, she realized she had missed the message and played it again.

Shit, shit, shit, she thought. Okay, relax. You're totally over her and she's not your responsibility anymore…Oh no, I have to help. Marissa shouldn't be drinking and she shouldn't be unhappy. I have to…NO, she dumped you remember? But Summer said that Marissa regretted it so maybe, just maybe there's still a chance. No point in trying to fool yourself Alex, you know you still love her. Fuck, I'm talking to myself…Just get your ass over to Newport and see what's going on. But first, visit your mom, tell her you'll be gone a few days. She's probably gonna freak out. Whatever, it's not like I care more about her opinions than I care about Marissa. Get your ass moving.

She threw on some clothes, grabbed her phone and keys, and rushed out of her apartment.

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Marissa lay in her bed, brooding when her mother walked in.

"Ever heard of privacy and knocking?"

"Marissa, you need to get out of that bed and get out again."

"I was just out shopping with Summer so leave me alone."

"You have to stop this you know. Get back with Ryan or something, even that was better than how you are now."

Marissa felt the growing anger and stared at her mother with disbelief as she sat up. When she spoke she had raised her voice.

"I don't believe this. I don't want to be with Ryan and I don't want to go out. Just leave me alone."

"Honey, I'm just saying that there's no point in grieving over a girl and certainly not try to drink yourself to death over one."

"Don't you dare talk about Alex like that. She made me happy and at least she cared about me, which is more than I can say about you. Now get out of my room before I do something I regret."

Julie sighed and gave her daughter one last defeated look before walking away.

Marissa let herself fall back onto the pillows and felt tears starting to run down her cheeks.

She hated everyone, her mother who didn't think about others than herself, Ryan who was a dumb jerk, everyone at school who expected her to be perfect…She just wanted to disappear back into the safe embrace of Alex where she could relax and be herself and be loved for who she was, not who she was expected to be.

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As Alex stood outside her parents' house she tried to mentally prepare herself for what was to come. When she rang the bell and the door opened she put on the best fake smile she had.

"Alexandra, sweetheart, Come her and give you mother a big hug."

"Hey mom, it's good to see you." She said with fake excitement.

She was dragged inside and into the living room where her father sat, reading the paper.

"Hi dad."

"Hello Alex."

"See that mom, you should call me Alex too instead of using so much extra energy on my whole stupid, embarrassing name."

"Now, now Alexandra, watch your tongue." Her mother answered back.

"So honey, sit down."

Alex did as she was told.

"Sweetie, why can't you just move back in here with us instead of living in that cheap apartment?"

"Because I would go insane by your non stop talking?"

Her mother ignored her.

"You're not seeing Jodie are you? Gosh, that girl is such a tramp."

"No mom, Jodie and I are over."

"Good, I knew you would come to your senses someday. Is there any interesting boys around?"

"No, no boys. You know I'm still sad about Newport and that girl."

"See honey, that's why boys are better. Girls just break your heart and move on."

"Well, mom," Alex said through gritted teeth. "At least girls don't just think with one head and they don't just think about themselves in a relationship."

"Ahem." Both women turned to Alex' father who had put the paper away.

"So Alex, what's new in your life? I haven't talked to you for a few days."

"Actually dad, I have to go on a trip for a few days…to Newport."

"And why is that?" Her mother said sternly.

"Because a good friend has some problems and I need to make sure everything's okay?"

"No, that is not gonna-"

"Sure sweetie, you go and make sure he or she is okay. Do you have a place to stay?"

"Not really."

"Ha. See, then it's best to stay-"

"I will give you some money for a motel or something."

"Thanks dad. I really appreciate it."

"When do you leave?"

"I have free from work tomorrow so I was thinking about leaving in the morning and them be back after the weekend, Sunday evening or something."

"Richard, don't encourage her." Alex' mother said in despair.

"You need to stop being so controlling dear. Come with me Alex and I'll get you some money. You should probably get ready to leave tomorrow."

Alex followed her had and got some money.

"Thanks dad, you're the best."

"Anything for my daughter. She's really trying you know. It's just how your mother are, but deep down she really loves you no matter what."

"Yeah, that love is defiantly hidden well."

"Keep in touch so your mother doesn't get a heart attack please."

"Yes sir." Alex answered and saluted him before quickly making her way out of the house.

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