Author's Notes: This is pre-finale. It's what I wrote during that week and a half that my computer was broken, and I started it before the finale... therefore, this one goes off of the ep that I believe was the one before the finale. Also, for the sake of my fic, George never slept with Meredith, therefore Callie isn't in the picture because I don't like her much.

Oh and I don't own anything. Shonda has all the credit since she's amazing. I just use the characters to write fics to entertain myself when I'm bored.

"But Meredith—"

"What Derek? What the hell do you want?"

"Mer—"

"Don't you dare call me that."

"Meredith!"

"What?"

"I still love you."

It almost took her by surprise. Almost. In fact, there was a pause, an intake of breath, a moment of shock after he said it.

"You know what? I thought I still loved you too. I really thought I did. But love used to be breakfast in bed with the person I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Love was ferryboats, Derek. But now, now I don't know what it is. And neither do you."

Tears were threatening to fall from her eyes, but she refused to cry in front of him again.

"Meredith—"

"No, Derek—"

"Mer—"

"No! Dammit, Derek. You say Meredith and I yell, remember?"

To this he said nothing, he just looked at her, his eye desperately trying to find something in hers, one little sign that she didn't mean what she was saying.

"Stop trying to win me back or whatever it is that you're trying to do. Your wife left you. And now, only now that she's gone are you picking me, choosing me, loving me."

"No, Mer, you don't understand."

"No, you don't understand. You called me a whore. You took my dog.—"

"I did not, you—"

"Okay, you didn't take the dog, I gave you the dog, but—"

He took a step closer to her so he was right in front of her.

"But what?"

"But—"

She couldn't remember. All she could think about was him standing in front of her and how mad he was making her.

"But nothing, Mer. You're afraid. You're afraid of this, you're afraid—"

"No Derek, you're afraid. You're afraid of being alone. You were married for eleven years, and after Addison cheated on you, you found me, and you were so hell bent on getting me to go out with you—"

"Meredith—"

"Derek, just shut up for a minute!"

"Okay."

"What?"

"Okay. I'll shut up."

Now this, this took her by surprise. She was so shocked that she didn't say anything. She hadn't actually thought of anything else to say.

"Mer?"

"Derek, just… just stop. Stop everything. Stop talking to me, stop loving me, just… stop."

"I can't."

"Yes you can, because you don't really love me."

"I do."

"No you don't! You don't even know what love is. How could you possibly love me if you don't know what it is?"

The tears she was trying so hard to not let fall were starting to slide down her cheeks. He reached out and cupped her cheek with his hand, letting the tears stain it. She looked at him and pulled his hand away.

"Just… stop…… please…"

She turned around and left, leaving Derek alone in the stairwell, leaving him in complete silence except the sound of the door closing behind her.

You don't even know what love is.

He sank down onto the steps beneath him and cradled his head in his hands.

Love is you Meredith.

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