Yeah...I was working through some things with this story. For added angst play Even in Death by Evanescence. It kind of inspired me halfway through, though Annabel Lee by Edgar Allen Poe was the original inspiration. Along with some personal things I'm working out.

I actually am going to make this a three-short and I have the third one written out but not the middle one.

I growled in annoyance as Evelyn banged repeatedly on my door; I know it was her. Locks were unheard of in Abnegation since there was no theft-that would equal envy and when everyone has the same things no one has a reason to be envious. However my locks were not meant to keep anything in, it was meant to keep her out.

Tris is dead, has been for three years, and still my mother-a awful, morbid play on words calling her that-wants to set me up on a date. She's tried several girls, Abnegation, Candor, Dauntless, Erudite, Amity, and Factionless, not that Factions mean anything anymore. No matter how many times I tell her I will never move on from Tris, I don't want to move on from Tris. Not the way Evelyn considers moving on.

When she catches me outside the home and has a girl with her I simply tell her that I don't want to date that I lost my only love and there is no other for me. Most girls understand, everyone lost someone in the war, hell-most think it is sweet. There has been one or two who think like Evelyn but I am able to intimidate them away from me fairly easily. I have never been more grateful for my Four persona than in those moments. Thankfully they were few and far between.

For awhile she even tried to set me and Christina together. Which made us both uncomfortable, finally Christina threatened her with a gun and she backed off. I kind of wished that she would have killed her. Even if I decided I wanted to be with someone else romantically, I know Tris would never hold that against me, it wouldn't be her best friend, that would be too strange.

I know that Tris wouldn't hold me moving on from her against me even if there is some kind of after life or whatever is there, if indeed there is something there, but I have no desire to. The thought doesn't even enter my mind and if someone brings it up the idea of holding another, kissing another, just isn't there.

Of course I can say a woman is beautiful, I'm not solely focused on the memory of Beatrice Prior that much. But the idea of being with them just makes me find them lacking. Tris woke me up, they would just put me to sleep.

Why Evelyn can't seem to get that through her thick skull is beyond me. Though I seriously consider if Evelyn can love, you have to consider it when she leaves a small child to deal with being abused on their own so she can shack up with a guy. She found Edward, the initiate that Peter stabbed in the eye when he was asleep, and in him found the son she wanted. Cruel, disgusting, with no feelings of love or empathy-a psychopath. He killed his girlfriend, Myra, even though she left Dauntless for him.

I growled as I looked at the plain home that was once Tris's, wondering what she did here. If she would like to live here now if she was alive. Maybe raise a family. Sliding down the wall near the upstairs closet where her mother kept their winter coats I sighed.

I had planned to die with Tris, just as I told her. But with the guilt of Uriah's death I had stayed for Zeke. Now I stayed because this wasn't what Tris would have wanted, to give up her life and for me to kill myself, the fact that it would be disgracing her memory and sacrifice was the only thing that stopped me.

I was weak and selfish, I had planned to take the memory serum to forget my pain. I'm glad Christina stopped me. I am twenty-one, if Tris had lived she'd be nineteen right now. I would have her in my arms, maybe be engaged or even married already. Not hiding from Evelyn as she tried to force me to be with someone because she didn't understand that Tris and I loved each other. Would always love each other.

She never wanted to leave me, she didn't leave by choice. But she did leave. Now I was here all alone. Not really, I could feel her, I didn't say it to anyone, I see her shadow-I know Evelyn's wrong. However three years without Tris has given me time to think, far too much time to think. I see all of our mistakes, hers and mine, she was no saint. She wasn't perfect, but I'm glad she wasn't, that'd be boring and untrue to her memory. However she did the best she could with what she had.

Honestly most of our misunderstandings came from how similar we were. Though on the outside I was big and muscular with dark hair and dark blue eyes looking older than I am, she was small and slim with light hair and icy blue eyes looking younger than she was. Personality wise we were so similar it was almost laughable, and our nature was to protect, which often got in the way of each other. She was mine and I was hers and that was enough.

If only bitch Fate had left us be.

I lay on the floor breathing deeply, on the outside I am silent but on the inside I'm screaming at Evelyn just to leave me the hell alone. In my hand is a picture that Zeke had took of when Tris kissed me in the cafeteria, he had known of me liking her, I had driven Shauna crazy asking what a facial expression or wording meant when she said it and what it meant that day she grabbed my hand. He had planned to use it as blackmail but with everything of the war it never came up and when I lost her he gave it to me.

Zeke was the closest thing I ever had to a brother and now we are the only family left, Zeke's mother is ailing in health and though I don't want to think it, I know it won't be long until she's dead to.

I have held the picture so much the ink is fading. Luckily it is scanned onto the computer and a few backup disks. I never let it go. I know when I die, whether by accident, disease, or the one I shudder at the most-old age, I will have it with me.

Tris is stubborn, I hope she doesn't mind being patient while waiting for me.

Well I wanted this to be more of a working through anger thing but it turned really angst. I'm going to add a chapter where he gets through some anger at Evelyn to.

Okay here's what I was originally planning. But serious angst took over so here is something nice and not so awful. It was actually supposed to be a one-short and a pretty angry one but now it will be one, this one, that is angst, the next will be angry, and the last will be sweet. I promise.