Author's note: sorry this is my first fanfic! Please don't eat me… I have no idea what I'm doing…
Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl, or any of the characters. (I wish I did, but Eoin Colfer's the genius here).
Chapter one: Bad day
Police Plaza, Haven
"D'arvit!" Captain Holly Short of the LEP swore, as she tripped over Foaly's latest invention – the thingamajig 3000 – for the third time that day.
"Foaly!" she picked up the thing and stalked into the ops booth, where Foaly was laughing at her over the spy-cam. He jumped in surprise when she came into the room and started yelling at him. "What does this stupid thing even do?" she shook the object.
"Aaaah! Don't hurt it!" Foaly cried, jumping across the room and taking it out of her hands.
"But what does it do?"
Foaly looked slightly sheepish. "Ummm… well you see… I'm not quite sure…"
"Foaly!" Holly cried, exasperated. You could tell she'd been having a bad day.
"But look! It's really cool! See, if I press this button…" he pressed the button. Nothing happened.
Without another word, Holly rolled her eyes and stalked out of the room. Foaly grunted and tossed the thing in the trash. "Stupid piece of junk." He muttered, then turned back to his work.
Leaving a note on her desk, Holly grabbed a set of wings and took the first shuttle to Tara. As soon as she was in the air, she disconnected her helmet communications and let out a long groan. What a day. The police plaza had been snowed under with civilians, all protesting about the recent connection problems – apparently one of their satellite dishes was down, and all of Havens TV and radio communications had been cut off. Not to mention that Foaly had been pestering her all day about multiple new inventions. She knew he was one of her best friends, but he could sure get annoying sometimes.
Opening her visor, Holly took a deep breath of the pollutant laced, but nonetheless fresh air. It felt good to be above ground. Maybe while she was there she could pay a visit to some certain mud-men… one in particular…
Fowl Manor, Ireland
Artemis groaned. What a day. He'd been trying to teach Miles and Beckett about the Opera, but they'd gotten bored and started painting instead. That was all well and good until 'Professor Miles' had decided to dissect Artemis's Blackberry. Before he'd been able to stop him, the phone was in pieces, and the memory card looking like it had been placed on the ground and had a lead weight dropped on it from the third floor (which it probably had). At least he had all his files on the computer as well, but now he would have to get a new sim card and go through all the fuss of trying to get it registered with the telephone company. He'd spent an hour and a half trying to convey this message to the idiot on the other end of the phone line, before being told that the satellites were down, so service would be temporarily unavailable until they were fixed. Frond knows how long that would take.
What he really needed right now was a nice relaxing chat with an old friend. Maybe he should call Holly…
Speak of the devil. Just as he was about to call her, he noticed a slight haze above his desk. It could just be a trick of the light, or it could be…
"Holly!" Artemis grinned as Holly materialised in font of him. "It's good to see you!"
"It's good to see you too, Arty." She hugged him, and grinned as he winced at the name. "You've grown!"
"Have I? You haven't!" Artemis grinned back. "I can't have grown that much. It's only been 2 months since the last crisis."
After Artemis and Holly returned from the past, the LEP had eventually caught Opal Koboi, who was attempting to spring herself from jail. It had been a near thing, but in the end they managed to wipe her and send her back to her own time. Now things were fairly quiet down in Haven, save for the occasional dwarf-goblin skirmish and the recent satellite problems.
"Speaking of crisis… what is it this time?" Artemis said.
"What, can't a friend come to say hello without there being a disaster at hand?"
Artemis would have replied, but a voice from his computer interrupted. It was Foaly.
"Actually, Holly you're wrong. There is a disaster. We need you back at Have as soon as possible. Preferably 5 mins ago. And bring the mud boy."
"Good to see you too, Foaly." Artemis muttered as the connection terminated. Then, to Holly "If it's that urgent, I'd say we'd better go."
Can you hear the little blue button? It's saying '
:D