Hardy and Miller were reviewing the files spread on his desk.
Suddenly she pointed at something on one of the pages.
"That's it! We got him! Bloody wanker!"
Hardy looked at what she was showing him and grinned.
"Outstanding! Well done, Miller! Let's get this over with."
He was standing up as he spoke and started to follow Miller towards the door when she suddenly turned around with the wildest look on her face and crouched in front of his sofa.
"What the…"
Miller interrupted him with a forceful whisper.
"Shut up, shut up!
Hardy was gaping at her.
"Don't look at me, you daft knob! Is she coming over here? Don't tell her I'm here. I swear on Fred's head, Hardy, I'll tell everybody you went on the teacups. Twice"
Miller was trying to glance discreetly over the sofa and through his office window.
Hardy put his hands on his hips and pretended he was thinking while watching the busy open space in front of him.
"Have you completely lost your mind? What is wrong with you, Miller?"
She was muttering angrily while attempting to see over the sofa what was going on.
"That sneaky old hag. I can't believe she remembered. Shit!"
She quickly went down again with a gasp and crawled to hide behind his desk.
"Smith must have told her I was in your office. The bastard! She's coming over! I beg of you, Hardy. I'll make your tea every day for the next year if you tell her I've left the station. I'll buy you all the disgusting rabbit food you want to eat! Please!"
Hardy saw an older woman talking with Smith and nodding towards his office.
"Miller, are you scared of a little old lady?"
Miller answered him in a tiny voice.
"She was my high school nemesis, she made me clean up the loo for a whole year."
He managed to keep a blank face.
"What did you do to piss her off?"
Miller turned scarlet.
"I think I put blue hair dye in the gym's shower tanks… No! The cleaning was because I glued all her stuff on her desk in her classroom. She was my math teacher and the headmistress and we hated each other."
Hardy had a really hard time imagining the kind-hearted, emotional Miller he knew with the crazy girl she was describing.
"Wait a minute. Are you saying that you were a wild teenager?!"
He heard Miller growl behind him.
"We don't have time for this. Get rid of her! Please!"
Hardy glanced at Miller. She gave him her best lost puppy look. He huffed and walked out of his office.
The woman was in her late sixties, there was nothing special about her but she walked towards Hardy with purpose. Oh dear.
"DI Hardy?"
"Yes. Can I help you?"
"I'm looking for DS Miller. Ellie. I need to talk to her and I was told she was in your office."
Her piercing eyes were observing him.
"Yes, she was. But she left. Important case. She's gone off to investigate."
She looked at his office and then back at him questioningly.
"Is that so?"
Her tone suggested she knew he was up to no good.
Hardy stared her down with his best don't-mess-with-me-I'm-about-to-snap look.
"I'm afraid she'll be out for the rest of the day. Can I take a message?"
She didn't seem rattled by his gruff demeanour.
"Well, I suppose you'll have to. Tell her that Mrs Sheridan came by. We made a deal and the day has come. She has to do it tomorrow. I'll be here waiting for her. After all, it was her idea."
This kept getting better and better. Hardy couldn't help himself. He had to know.
"What idea?"
She had an amused glint in her eyes.
"Well, it would ruin the surprise if I told you, wouldn't it? Be a dear and do give her the message when you find her hiding in your office."
"She's not. She left."
She chuckled knowingly.
"My, you're a sweet lad. I'll give her that. She always had a knack for finding a boy ready to jump to her rescue. Good day, DI Hardy."
And then, she left him standing there, speechless, a faint blush spreading on his face.
"What the hell just happened?"
He went back to his office to find Miller still crouched under his desk.
"Is the evil witch gone?"
"Aye. She knew you were hiding in here. She said you had a deal and that you have to do it tomorrow. "
Miller stood up and started dusting herself off.
"Right. Thanks. I better get back to work. Laters."
She gave him a fake smile and tried to run out the door but he grabbed her arm.
"Not so fast, Miller. Don't think you're leaving this room before I get an explanation."
"Don't be a knob! It's nothing really, it's just that… Ihavetocometoworkwearingabathingsuit."
She'd said that last part so fast that Hardy needed a moment to understand.
And when he did, he burst out laughing.
"Oh this is brilliant, Miller! Amazing!"
He couldn't stop laughing.
"Stop laughing, you stupid arse! It's going to be completely humiliating but I can't give her the satisfaction not to do it! I'm trapped, and it's my own fault!"
She was pouting.
"Oh come on, Miller! Don't be like that!"
"Easy for you to say. You won't have to show up half naked to work."
"Why do you have to do that anyway?"
"20 years ago I showed up in class in my beach attire. It was the first day of summer and I wanted to spite her. I was very proud of myself at the time. Of course, Sheridan was not happy. She said it was totally inappropriate and that when I had a job I would realise people didn't behave that way. I was so pig-headed that I told her I would do it at work too, that she was too stuck-up to have fun and in 20 years I'll show her. I was so dumb back then."
Hardy couldn't keep a straight face and he laughed again.
She hit him in the shoulder.
"Stop. Laughing. Right. Now."
"Oi! It's not my fault! You have to admit it's pretty funny."
She gave him her darkest look.
He wiggled his eyebrows at her.
"You better start looking for your itsy bitsy teenie bikini, Miller."
"Shut up."
She turned around and left.
She could still hear him laughing when she sat at her desk.
The next day, Hardy had just sat down and was starting the paperwork on their latest case when there was a knock on his door.
"Morning, Sir. Here's your tea."
Miller was standing there barefoot, in a dark red bikini with black polka dot, sunglasses and a flower in her hair.
Hardy's brain had frozen and his heart might have stopped.
"'Hardy? Hardy? Is your pacemaker working? Right. Now I know how to shut you up, I suppose. Come and see me when you're done drooling, we've got work to do!"
She left the mug of tea on his desk and left.
Hardy came out of his daze a few seconds later when he heard clapping and catcalls. Officers were coming in and reacted to Miller's state of dress.
Miller was a bit flushed but she didn't look like she was mortified. She seemed amused and rather proud of herself.
Hardy grinned. She must have been one hell of a school girl. Who would have known?
He approached her.
"Miller, I believe we'll have to take a picture to prove to Mrs Sheridan you did it."
She gave him her winning smile.
"I know."
Hardy addressed the whole room.
"Gather round people. We're taking a picture."
"Hardy!"
The next day, Mrs Sheridan opened her mail to discover a picture.
"The cheek of that girl!"
The picture showed Ellie Miller in a bikini and sunglasses, posing smugly in her colleagues' arms as if lying on the beach.