DEAN'S STRENGTH

Author(s): Elisa Hübner Fandom: Supernatural Rating: K+

Genre(s): Drama, fantasy, romance Setting: future. Universe canon. Type: Oneshot Characters: Dean, Jo, Sam and Castiel Pairing: Dean and Jo

Summary: Dean gets killed by a werewolf when he's hunting with Sam. He enters in a coma and he has the choice of dying or keep on fighting. Jo appears in his dreams while he is in this state of lethargy, and tries to convince him to choose life instead of death.

It was dark.

Not the kind of darkness Dean used to fight against, but a new one. This dark exhaled a heavy and viscous smell, involving all his bones, skin and thoughts. Dean was able to move in this black mass, but he could not open his eyes, and when he tried to breathe, it seemed that the substance was so dense there was no chance of inhaling it.

He tried to calm down and think for a moment. "What was this horror that was wrapping his body? How could he fight against it?" These thoughts always came to his head when he and Sam were in danger, so Dean's first reaction was usually to follow his instincts, and now his instincts were telling him to rip off the thing that was blocking all his senses.

The second question that came to his mind was "Where is Sam?". Dean, as usual, was worried about his little brother, who was more than able to defend himself, but they were family, they had to look after each other. They shared a blood bound, and the last words his father said to him were "Take care of Sam, Dean". Even though they were applied to a whole other context, they were still valid, and Dean could not run away from his promise.

Suddenly a warm feeling begun to spread through his veins, and he wasn't floating in the black mass anymore, but laying on soft grass. He could not only sense the ground under his body, but also breathe the clean air and move easily arms and legs, like everything was lighter.

"Do you remember when we've met?" Said a familiar voice. Dean opened his eyes and found Jo sitting next to him, smiling in that innocent way she used to. "I hit you with a rifle". She laughed and made the place even more delightful. The sky was blue, there was no clouds, and the wind was just enough to make her hair a bit messy, but it would still cover her shoulders in the way he remembered.

Dean felt completely destroyed at that moment. Jo died because of him, didn't she? She saved his life, and now they were together, in his delusion. The price he had to pay was too high, to live while she was dead, to remember so well her smile, her lovely brown eyes and all the courage and strength there was on her.

"You were still looking for that demon, the one with the yellow eyes" Jo was looking at him. She seemed happy in his mind, which made him question himself if they were somewhere else. Why would she be peaceful if they were in his head? "Am I hallucinating, Jo?" He asked. Dean was also surprised how perfectly he could remember her. The green battered jacket she used to wear, the way Jo would always look down when she was thinking, and then later she would look right in his eyes, like knives through his soul, specially when she was asking him a question.

"Do you think that's the only reason for you to see me? That you are hallucinating?" Jo seemed sad with the situation. She took his hand between her owns and explained what was happening. "This is real Dean, someone tried to kill you".

Was he dead? But how could it be? How did he die?

Dean was walking through a narrow corridor, holding his gun tight and trying to see something in that dim lighted place. Sam was in the other side of this old house, both of them looking for the werewolf they were hunting, but this one was smarter than the others.

Somehow it managed to escape. The monster was able to hurt Sam in the process, but he was not bitten, so that was a start, at least they wouldn't have to deal with any kind of transformation, they had only to kill the thing and get out.

"He's probably not in here, but I should check the rooms", thought Dean. The old Winchester brother opened each door carefully, trying not to make much noise while he was walking, but it was really a hard thing to do, since the floor was made of wood.

Finally, at the end of the corridor, he prepared himself to open the last door. He leaned his ear against the wall in an attempt to hear something. Nothing. Not a single whisper, so Dean decided to turn the knob while holding his gun. The knob seemed a bit rusty, but still worked, so the door opened with a creak loud noise and he got himself inside of the room.

The other rooms didn't have any furniture, but for some reason, this one had. There was a baby crib at the end of the room, near the window, a white cabinet on his left side and china dolls sitting on the floor. The light that came from the window was the moonlight, covering the crib and involving all the room in this pale and phantasmic atmosphere.

Dean entered the room and closed the door behind him. The cabinet was not big enough to fit a werewolf, so he didn't lose any time looking for something in there. He approached the crib to see if there was a baby "Oh god, I hope it doesn't", he said, in a whisper.

He lifted the sheet calmly. It was so soft and clean, unlike the rest of the place, that seemed to be stinking with sweat and rotten meat. For his sake, there was no baby there. But there was something outside the crib, looking at him at that moment, and dying to taste his flesh. Specially the heart, werewolves never leave the heart.

Dean turned his back to the crib and got ready to confront the werewolf, who just entered the room slamming the door on his way in. He shot two times, but he missed the predator. It was too fast, too dangerous, with its nails already turned into long sharp claws. This werewolf once was a man, but now it was a humanoid form of a carnivore, a monster, and Dean knew what he was supposed to do with monsters.

"Hey, wolfie, come get a bite", he shouted, with eyes on his target. When the monster came near him, Dean was ready to shoot, but then he heard a scream, a male scream, coming from outside of the house, asking for help.

"DEAN" was the voice saying, and it was Sam, his younger brother. He lost his attention for a moment, and that was enough. The werewolf hit his arm and the gun was thrown far away from him, he falled on the floor and the creature threw itself at him, ripping his flesh off his bones.

Dean didn't feel any pain, he just saw all the blood. And there was a lot of blood. When he realised he couldn't see anymore any of it, he just gave up. "This is it, isn't?" He thought to himself. Maybe he would come back, maybe Sam would save him, but now there was nothing he could do, only to let the darkness embrace him.

"That's how you ended in here". Said Jo, still holding his hand. He could feel her warmth coming from their hands touching, and he felt better seeing her smile again. "But you're not dead, you can choose between staying here and moving on or coming back to earth".

These were the worst words she could ever have spoken, and why did she have to be the one to ask him to choose? In any other situation, he wouldn't think twice, he would choose his brother, his fighting. He would choose life, but this was different.

Jo was so young when she passed, so full of dreams, she had no idea what was to be a hunter. She didn't know what was to carry your burdens wherever you were, to drag with you all the pain and death there was on this job, and he let her go with him.

And how many lives were wasted because of him? How many times Dean and his brother fought to save each other, and people were hurt or killed in the crossfire? He should choose Jo this time, he owed this to her, she deserved to be happy, even if it was too late to fix all his mistakes.

"I know what you will choose, Dean Winchester", she said, swinging her head to the left and laughing at him. "Although it's a hard one, I'm sure you will choose right". He didn't want to forget what he fought for, but he couldn't fight against her either, not again.

"We never found the right place, the right time. We didn't have any" he said. It was true, they never tried anything serious, because they were always involved in saving the world, there was no tomorrow, no future, and it was hard enough taking care of themselves to fall in love for someone they would never be able to protect.

"I remember telling myself it was ok for not trying, because of the same stupid reason. But if it was always the wrong time, then when was the right time? In our lives we didn't have time for us, we were too busy working on cases". The first and only time they worked on a case was in LA, where Jo was almost killed by an old serial killer's ghost, which almost made Dean rip out all his hair. "You were so afraid of my mother discovering I was on a case with you that you almost rattled on me".

He laughed for a moment. "Excuse me, lady, but your mother is a scary woman". He stopped and looked around quickly. "She's not around, is she?" he asked, nervous. "No she's not" Jo answered. They sat on the grass and leaned against each other, Jo's head resting on his shoulder, and then they spent some time in silent.

"It's a shame we never really had time for this while we were alive" She looked at him and kiss him in his forehead, the same way he did the last time they saw each other, when she was a ghost. This time was different, she could feel his skin, the last time was more like someone blowing her head, but at that moment she could feel his presence, right there with her. "But it's time for you to go, Dean."

"Do you want me to go?" He asked, confused. Dean was sure she wanted him to be with her. "No, Jo. This time I'm staying with you".

"The hell you are. Why would you stay if you have the chance to be alive? No one gave me this chance, and if someone had, I would've taken it. Don't blame yourself again for my death". She had chosen a hunter's life for herself and by herself, he had nothing to do with it. "Being a hunter was part of me, Dean. I've always had it in myself, I was the one to choose this path, not you".

He could see the flames in her eyes. They were sparkling with determination, her lips pressed in an expression of disappointment, but he had to say "I won't be away from you again. You don't deserve what happened to you".

"Oh, and do you deserve to die?" Now she was angry, and not resting his head on his shoulder anymore. Dean was holding a serious face while she was talking, but he was feeling more desperate every second that passed. "I didn't want a normal life, you didn't want it either. The man I admired was a warrior, and warriors don't give up. Be the fighter you've always been, not weak, resigned to die".

Was she right? Dean thought for a moment, and couldn't decide what was right or wrong. He felt his eyes full of tears, and he could not keep them inside of him anymore, nor look at Jo in the eyes. She grabbed his face with both hands and waited a few seconds.

A heavy rain started to fall from the sky. The drops were cold, and they were both kneeling in front of each other, their legs soaked with all the mud and the water. Jo was still holding his face, and Dean was trying to control himself not to cry.

"Don't let me be your weakness Dean. Let me be your strength". She said. "At the day I died, I should have kissed you. It was our last night on earth together". Dean giggled with no enthusiasm, but still thinking it was funny. "You choosed self respect" he answered.

They both laughed. Jo released him from her, but he didn't move away. "It's a shame you did". She could see now he was himself again, the solid and brave hunter he used to be, and if for a second he thought she wanted him dead, he was so wrong she didn't have any comments on it.

But now that they were so close, still looking at each other, Jo could feel his pain. The rain got lighter, but it was cold. She didn't have to get a reason to be with him, but the cold weather was a good one. He was unreachable, and at the same time right next to her.

For how long would he be gone this time? Jo would never know. She wouldn't even know if he would come to heaven, hell or whatever there was.

"You'll always be my strength. Thanks Jo". Dean said with his low voice trembling a bit. He wanted to say goodbye, but he couldn't do it, it was too hard.

So he woke up in a hospital bed, with Sam sleeping on a chair, and Castiel looking through the window, observing the storm there was in town. Dean looked at his chest, covered in bandages and tried to move, which was a mistake. He felt a painful sting coming from the stitches and groaned.

"Are you okay?" Asked Cas, approaching him. He seemed worried about Dean, which was no surprise, since he was probably looking like a sliced potato. "You thought you were hunting a werewolf, but there was actually two of them. Fortunately, I was in town so I saved your life while your brother hunted the other werewolf who was outside the house".

"Yeah, thank you for that. Why didn't you fix my wound? Are you weak again?" Cas only shook his head to answer his question, and that was enough. Sam was still in a heavy sleep, completely exhausted.

Castiel was about to leave the room, when Dean asked him "I talked to Jo, Cas. How can I know if I wasn't dreaming?" The angel waited a few seconds before answering. "What did she tell you?"

"She told me I shouldn't give up". Dean was injured and whacked, but it was not bothering him. What was bothering him was this anguish feeling on whether Jo was real or not. Cas, on the other hand, smiled, completely sure of what he was about to say.

"Yes, Dean, it was truly her".