Hey everyone! This is a fic dedicated to one of my favorite GS pairings, Athrun x Lacus. It's a little angsty, and OOC. Beware PissedOff!Lacus and Kindadumb!Athrun.


Understanding

Where had he gone so wrong?

"I…heard about Kira and you…"

"It was kind of you to drop by, Athrun," Lacus Yamato smiled at her former fiancée, Athrun Zala, as he stood in the doorway, awkwardly clutching a bouquet of flowers as he had so many times he had come to her house before. Unfortunately, this time, he felt as though the flowers were out of place.

'It's not as though Kira died…' He thought, looking at the lilies and cursing himself for bringing them. "I-I should just put these back in my car," he muttered, turning on his foot, only to have Lacus stop him by placing her hand on his arm.

"They're beautiful," she smiled. "You shouldn't throw them away like that." She gently took the flowers from Athrun's arms and walked back towards the kitchen in order to fill a vase with water. Athrun clumsily followed her, his mind choosing words as he walked. "Thank you for these, Athrun."

"I'm…so sorry Lacus," Athrun finally spit out, sitting down at the table. "I mean, I'm not really an expert on divorce, never being married, but, I'm sure you two were having problems and…"

"Yes…" Lacus said softly, fingering one of the flowers, a soft but sad smile still on her face. "I suppose we did have problems. It's just…Kira never bothered to share them with me," she shrugged. "I was just as surprised as you and everyone else when Kira left."

"B-but why?" he asked, finally spitting out the words he had been dying to say. "Kira always said he loved you! Why in the world would he leave you?"

"I thought you said you knew…" she said, lowering her head. "We were 'having problems', right?" She turned her head and gave him a small smile that had a slightly sadistic twist to it. Athrun emitted a small gasp and averted his eyes.

"I-I…just wanted something to say," he told her swiftly.

"And that's how you are Athrun," Lacus said, her voice returning to normal. Athrun looked up to see the pink-haired songstress pouring two glasses of lemonade for the two. She placed one, the slightly taller one, in front of Athrun, and put the other in front of herself as she sat down. "You always just want something to say."

"Is that…such a bad thing? To want to comfort you?" he asked.

"Why did you break up with Miss Hawke, Athrun?" Lacus asked, sipping her lemonade. "And Cagalli before her. In fact, none of your relationships have worked out really well, have they?"

"This isn't about me," Athrun muttered, running his finger along the wet surface of the cold glass. "This is about you and--"

"I'm so sorry," Lacus said, smiling. "I'm overstepping my boundaries, aren't I? After all, I'm your friend. I should be kinder to you."

"But you don't want to be kind to me, do you?" Athrun said sternly. Lacus looked down at her lemonade, and averted her eyes.

"No. No I don't."

"Why not?"

"Because you take it for granted," she spat, and Athrun's eyes widened. "You take love for granted. Cagalli loved you, but you allowed yourself to delude yourself about your own feelings. And Miss Hawke," Lacus looked up, "Meyrin was the first person to get you out of your shell, wasn't she? You laughed, and smiled, and I truly thought I had seen the happy side of Athrun Zala…"

Athrun looked at his glass, once again not wanting to see Lacus' accusing stare. He had never seen this side of Lacus. The young woman spoke with a bitter acid in her voice, and it was obvious that the pain she held inside herself was at a boiling point.

"But you retreated again, didn't you?"

"I was afraid…"

"Afraid of what!" she asked, standing up and slamming her hands on the table. Her eyes were tearing over, but her face was red from anger. "What could you possibly be afraid of!"

"She was such a bright person!" Athrun looked up, his eyes also tearing. "And I was this hollow shell of a human being who didn't even know what he was doing with his life! What the hell did I have to offer her!"

"She loved you!" Lacus cried. "Isn't that all that mattered!"

"You don't understand…" her murmured, creating a deafening silence between the two. Lacus sat back down in her chair, and Athrun heard her sniffling a bit. He looked up, in spite of himself, and saw that Lacus' angry face had turned into one drenched with silent tears that had begun to fall down her face. "Lacus…"

"And what of me, Athrun?"

A beat. Athrun looked at her, his eyes narrowed. "What?"

"I loved you." Athrun's eyes widened, and his mouth opened slightly to speak, but nothing would come out. "I loved you with all my heart. But you closed yours to me. And I knew…" she looked up, forcing a smile, "that I couldn't live like that."

"Lacus, I—"

"You were a shallow, hollow, bitter person, Athrun Zala. You didn't understand what love was, after losing your mother and practically losing your father," Lacus told him. "True, I could put a smile on your face, but I knew it would never last. The minute you stepped outside of my home, your smile would disappear. It was all a show."

"That's not true," Athrun murmured.

"And Kira," she went on. "Truly smiled at me. Such a pure smile," she looked out the window at the sun that was beginning to set. "Such an amazingly pure smile Kira had. And every morning, he looked at me and gave me that smile."

There was a pause once more. Athrun knew better then to open his mouth. He simply stared over the table at Lacus, and she looked up at him, forcing a smile as her true tears fell down her face. "B-but…I guess that smile was fake too…"

"No, you're wrong!" Athrun stood up, and Lacus blinked, surprised. "M-my…my smile was never fake!" he cried. "Never, and neither was Kira's! We both smiled with truth when we were around you! Be-because…" he gritted his teeth and shook his head. "It's because we both loved you!"

"Athrun, I…"

"And when you love someone," Athrun told her, "you can't force a smile like that! I don't know why Kira left, but every time he smiled at you Lacus, it was full of love and caring! S-so…so don't…" Athrun realized that his own eyes were starting to fog with tears. He shook them away and finished his sentence softly, "don't think for a second that Kira…or I…don't love you."

There was a pause between the two. Lacus looked up at her ex-fiancée and slowly reached out her hand to touch his. She fingered the back of his hand, and finally spoke.

"Then…then why did he leave?" she asked, looking at Athrun. "Why did Kira leave me? Can you tell me, Athrun?"

"H-He left you," he told her, "because he was a god damn fool."

Where did he go so wrong?

"I see…" Lacus murmured, drying her eyes and looking up at Athrun. "Thank you, Athrun. I feel…better now, I suppose."

"I'm…glad," Athrun smiled. "And Lacus," he told her, and she looked at him, "I'm not going to take love for granted anymore. I…I promise you."

"That's very good Athrun," Lacus smiled, standing up. "Would you like me to walk you to your car?"

"Yes," Athrun said, looking at Lacus. "I'd like that. I'd like that very much."

Life isn't always fair. But life is always what it is: understanding. And that's what Lacus and Athrun always had between one another. Lacus had been able to stand and rip the veil from Athrun's eyes, and Athrun had understood how used and lonely Lacus felt when she had been hurt by both Athrun and Kira. The two had the most important thing people can have: understanding.

That's what Lacus printed on their wedding invitations six years from that day.

End