A/N: Hello there! This is my first ever Criminal Minds fic! And it's immediately one with a male x male pairing… I normally don't write stuff like this, so I'm a little uncertain. But a friend of mine once said I had to get out of my comfort zone. Then this should please her, right? I hope you'll let me know what you think about it! Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. Or the song, "They bring me to you" by Joshua Radin. And I never will, either, unfortunately…
Something unexpected
Aaron Hotchner normally wasn't a man who doubted himself. But sitting here, mere inches from David Rossi, he was seriously beginning to doubt his own sanity.
For two months he had noticed Dave staring at him when he thought he wasn't looking. They'd been working together more closely than they had ever done the previous year. When Dave handed him papers, Hotch noticed his hand lingering just a split second longer than was normal.
A little voice in the back of his head told him he should have expected this to happen. This man was the reason most of the fraternization rules the FBI applied these days had come to exist, for heaven's sake! But really, had he been supposed to know David Rossi would start flirting with him?
Hotch pondered that question for a few seconds. Dave had been married three times, and had separated from all of those women. But that didn't make him gay or bisexual, did it? When Hotch and Dave went out with the team, Dave behaved like the normal, sweet-talking, girl-seducing man Hotch had always known. And if flirting with him made Rossi gay, then he was gay too for liking it. And he had never fallen for a man before.
"Aaron? Aaron?" Rossi repeated, louder this time.
Hotch shook his head lightly in an attempt to shake away the thoughts forming in the back of his mind.
"I'm sorry, what were you saying?" he then asked.
"I was asking whether you are okay. You sort of zoned out on me there for a minute," David said.
Hotch sighed. He couldn't tell David about what had been going through his mind. What if he'd come to the wrong conclusion? He could easily lose his best friend if David wasn't interested in him at all.
"I'm fine," Hotch eventually shrugged.
Rossi looked at him, cocking an eyebrow.
"Are you sure? You seemed to be pretty lost in whatever it was you were thinking about," David said.
Hotch responded non-verbally by making a simple, meaningless gesture with his hand.
David looked at him, with something in his eyes that Hotch couldn't –or didn't dare to- name.
"If you're sure… Just remember you can tell me anything. And I mean anything at all," Rossi told him.
Hotch stared down at the glass of red wine in his hands for a second. He really felt like telling Dave everything just so he could get the pressure of his chest that had been building there for far too long. But he was too scared to lose his best friend, especially because he really needed Dave after the year he'd had since Hailey had died.
"I know," Hotch told him, yet again bottling up all of the feeling raging inside of him.
Looking at the clock on the wall, Hotch saw it was eleven P.M. already. Which gave him a nice excuse to go home. Even though he wished he didn't have to leave.
"You know, I should be going. Jessica is bringing Jack home tomorrow, and knowing Jack he'll want to get back as soon as possible."
David smiled at that. Jack loved his father more than anything or anyone else in this world. He'd seen that often enough during the times he'd spent with them. And Aaron loved his son more than anything or anyone in this world as well. Jack made Aaron an even better person. And Aaron was doing an amazing job at raising Jack into a wonderful person.
"Alright. Tell him uncle Dave said hi," he smiled.
Hotch actually smiled at that too, a rare occurrence even around his best friend. Jack adored Dave. Ever since the first time Hotch had asked him to join his son and him on a simple outing to the park, Jack hadn't stopped asking for Dave to join them again.
"He'll love to hear that," Hotch said.
They both got up. Rossi took Hotch's glass from his hand and motioned for the other man to wait before he took it into the kitchen.
When he came back, he didn't say anything, but proceeded to lead Hotch into the hallway and hand him his jacket.
"I could've taken that myself, you know," Hotch said, as Dave extended his jacket towards him.
"I know," Dave replied.
Hotch felt their fingers brush against one another when he grabbed his jacket. It seemed as if an electrical shock passed right through him, not missing a single part of his body, making him extremely aware of Dave's skin against his. He was certain his sharp intake of breath could not have gone unnoticed.
But Rossi didn't show any reaction, for which Hotch was really thankful. It would have been hard to find a way to talk himself out of this, after all. He got into his jacket as quickly as he could without making his desire to leave too noticeable.
"I'll see you on Monday," he said, as he turned back to Rossi.
"Unless your son decides to convince you to take him on an outing this weekend," David smilingly told him.
Hotch smiled at that, nodding in confirmation of the words as he did.
They were both silent as they stepped outside. The cold air stung a little after the enjoyable heat inside.
More than enjoyable, Hotch admitted to himself. In certain ways, that is…
When Hotch wanted to open his car door, he suddenly felt Dave's hand on his arm. Not on his shoulder, but on his arm. He had to fight his hardest not to show how much that simple gesture was affecting him.
"Drive safely, okay?" Rossi said.
Hotch hadn't even had a full glass of wine because he didn't trust himself enough around David anymore not to make mistakes when he had alcohol in his system. So there really wasn't any reason for the other man to say that.
But he heard the genuine concern in Dave's voice.
"I will," he promised.
As he pulled out of the driveway, he was glad the evening had ended when it had, because if he were completely honest, he hadn't been sure how long he would have been able to keep his feelings inside. Or that the evening would have ended this innocently if he had told David how he really felt.
Things were slowly –no, rapidly- spinning out of control. He really needed to do something, and soon, before he managed to land himself in a lot of trouble.
The only two questioned that remained, were what he had to do about the entire situation, and how he was supposed to do it.
Luckily for Aaron, the opportunity to unveil some of the underlying feelings he had for Rossi, presented itself a couple of days later already.
"Hey, Rossi, any plans for the night?" Derek Morgan asked.
Aaron listened attentively. Garcia had apparently talked Derek into going to a little karaoke bar, and JJ had immediately agreed it was a great way of relaxing after the case they'd had.
He himself had agreed to go because he didn't feel like sitting home all alone. And because he knew David could always be persuaded and he had hoped this time would be no different. He had quite the plan for tonight of Dave decided to join them.
"No, actually, I was thinking about having a glass of wine and getting some sleep. Why are you asking?" Rossi wanted to know.
"My baby girl's taking us out to this small karaoke bar that opened a few weeks ago, and she wants all of us to be there," Derek said.
Rossi stayed silent for a few seconds before he broke into a grin, surprising the younger man. And the others, too.
"Is Hotch coming?"
Hotch had expected that, knowing Dave remembered the one time he had sung to Hailey when the both of them were younger. Dave had told him he had the voice to do it, and he had conquered Hailey's heart with it. Hopefully his singing tonight would conquer Dave's heart as well.
He immediately knew what was coming next. Dave wouldn't pass up the opportunity to tell the others about that later, so he would definitely tag along. Pretending not to have heard the question, he remained bent over his paperwork and quietly continued to listen to the conversation.
"Yeah, didn't have to be asked twice when I told him what Garcia had threatened to do to anyone who refused to come," Derek laughed.
Apparently, Hotch had played his part well and he had succeeded in keeping his enthusiasm hidden well enough not to seem too eager to join the other on their night out.
"I think I'll follow his example then," Rossi said, the smirk on his face evident in his voice as well.
When Derek did not respond, Hotch guessed he had to be biting his lips not to ask why Dave was smirking. But he probably knew as well as Hotch that Dave wasn't going to answer him that easily.
As the last thirty minutes of his shift ticked by, Hotch got increasingly nervous. He hadn't exactly sung in the mast years, apart from some lullabies for his son. What if he stepped onto the stage later, and he couldn't sing at all anymore?
God, Hotch! Stop thinking like that! He scolded himself. You'll only make things worse!
At least he did have the right song for the occasion. It had taken him a while to find it, as he wanted the message to be loud and clear, and it had to sound genuine. Else, he was done for.
"So, everybody ready to sing?" Garcia asked as they stepped into the parking lot when their shift had ended.
Reid and Morgan looked a little uncomfortable.
"You're not making us all sing a song are you, Garcia?" Spencer asked her.
The devilish grin that lit up her face should have made the word she said next completely unnecessary.
"Oh yeah, I am," she announced happily.
Reid groaned.
"Don't you know three quarters of the American population doesn't…"
But Garcia cut him off.
"You'll do fine. No be quiet or I'll make you sing a duet with me," she said.
Hotch had to try really hard not to laugh out loud at the face of pure horror Reid was giving her. The boy probably knew she meant what she was saying, and he would certainly get on that stage.
"Behave," Hotch said, but making it clear he was enjoying them going out together.
"Yes, dad," Garcia laughed, pushing Dereck towards his car.
Morgan had obviously offered to drive her to the karaoke bar. And since Reid was walking with them, he assumed they would be taking him as well. That only left him and Rossi, he realized.
Would Rossi offer to drive him? Should he offer to drive Rossi? Or would it be better if they each drove their own car? After all, he wouldn't have a car if David turned him down.
But his mind was quickly put at ease when David walked past him, grabbing his car keys as he went.
"See you guys there," Rossi said as he stepped into his car.
Hotch exhaled and inhaled a few times, trying to look as composed as he normally did. Which proved even harder than during the most stressful cases the team had had.
The drive was a quick one. Or at least, so it seemed. It must have taken about fifteen minutes to reach the place, but because Hotch was too busy focusing on his song and the road, it seemed as if it hadn't taken him more than half of that time to reach the small building.
As they entered, he noticed Garcia was holding Derek's hand. It made him smile, because the simple gesture suddenly lifted a huge weight from his chest. Love always found a way, no matter what.
Yeah, just not in your case, he couldn't help but hear the little voice in the back of his mind say.
He pushed it down, however, when Garcia started talking.
"Who'll show us how it's done?" she asked.
Everyone remained silent. Hotch had hoped that would happen. Now, he could pretend he was only stepping onto the stage first so he could persuade the others, in favor of Garcia.
"No-one? Alright, then I will," Hotch offered.
Garcia's face lit up. He could see how Rossi had to try his hardest not to break into a smile.
"You guys would better prepare," he heard David say as Garcia pushed him towards the stage.
As everybody simultaneously asked the same question, why, he heard Dave laughing out loud at them and saying that they'd soon find out for themselves, so they didn't need him to tell them.
Hotch walked over the them man in charge of the music, asking him whether he had the sung he required somewhere in his collection. Fortunately, he did. He didn't ask any other questions, but simply told Hotch he could step onto the stage, giving him a microphone.
"Hello, everyone. My name is Aaron Hotchner. I'm here with my team, because one of us thought it would be funny to make us all sing together. But I have to admit, I'd like to use this opportunity for something else, something important."
Hotch looked so confident, standing there. He was completely in control of what he was doing.
And he had everybody hanging on his every word because of the quiet, at ease tone in which he spoke.
Aaron noticed his team was really staring at him now. They probably wanted him to say what the reason was he was standing there, ready to sing for all of the people, complete strangers, in the bar.
"There's someone on my team that I've fallen in love with. And because I'm not really good with words, I'd like to sing a certain song for this person. I hope this person knows what I mean, and that the message is well received," he finished his little speech.
Immediately, the music started to play. Taking a final deep breath, Hotch began to sing, putting everything he wanted to say, everything he felt, into the words.
You looked like the sun
I was the only one
who could stare until you were done shining on me
and as we drank our wine and let the world fade away
the sunrise tried to end it while we tried to stay.
Okay, so maybe the lyrics weren't exactly correct, Hotch mused as he sang. But they expressed what he wanted to say a whole lot better than he ever could have said it.
The rest of my life can't compare to this night
and only the heartaches have given me sight,
they bring me to you,
they bring me to you.
This part of the song, however, was very true. After Hailey had left him, he had started to grow closer to his old friend than he had ever imagined was possible. They'd spoken of their failed marriages, about their years in college…
Moon pours through the ceiling tonight
embraces us tight
shows me we're right for each other
and as we lay here and let the world fade away
the sunrise tries to end it while we try to stay.
It wasn't the sun that had previously tried to end their moments together. It had been Aaron, because of his own insecurity and fears. He just hoped that if Rossi knew he was singing about him, he would forgive him for not confessing his love for him sooner.
The rest of my life can't compare to this night
and only the heartaches have given me sight,
they bring me to you,
they bring me to you,
they bring me to you,
they bring me to you.
Rossi was staring at him now, Hotch saw when he plucked up the courage to look towards his team members. Garcia was holding on to Derek, who gave Hotch a knowing smile. Prentiss had her head on Reid's shoulder, and the young genius, although a little uncomfortable with the closeness, obviously enjoyed it as well.
It's all about the first night and last,
some people say
well I love you so much more tonight,
more than yesterday.
Hotch looked straight into Rossi's eyes as he sang those words, letting the other man know that he was speaking the truth: his love for David grew every day, became more real and deeper with every moment that passed.
The rest of my life can't compare to this night
and only the heartaches have given me sight,
they bring me to you,
they bring me to you,
they bring me to you,
they bring me to you.
As the last note died away, the people began the applaud. Apparently, he hadn't lost his voice. Which was good, else he would have made a complete fool out of himself.
What he hadn't expected, however, was Rossi getting up from his chair. A wave of anxiety coursed through him. Had he made a mistake?
But Rossi walked up to him and extended his hand, smiling widely.
"I think we should get out of here," the older man whispered into his ear once Hotch was next to him.
Still a little dazed, it took somewhat longer than it would normally have for the words to sink in.
"Why?" Hotch asked.
Rossi shook his head disbelievingly.
"Do you really have to ask?"
Noticing Rossi still hadn't let go of his hand and that he was being led to the exit, Hotch swallowed hard before speaking again.
"Yes."
It was all he could master, being in such close proximity to Dave.
"Because it took you long enough to confess you love me, and now, I want to take you out and show you just how much I love you. In a way not meant for others to be seen," Rossi whispered into his ear.
And Hotch was certain that if Rossi hadn't still been holding his elbow tightly, he would have sunk to the ground, his knees being to week to carry him any longer.