Summary: It's bad enough that DW has to do some last minute shopping. But does he have to fight crime at the same time?
Rating: K+ for the usually fighting and stuff.
Author's Note: Well, here it is. A little Christmas one-shot that I've whipped together. Fairly simple and sweet, with a fair share of it just being for laughs, and let's face it, there isn't much plot. But still, hopefully worth the read. Tag to the "New Adventures of Darkwing Duck", meaning it takes place in the same fictional universe that I've put together. Takes place just shortly before chpt. 61, "Interlude". This was written mostly for my readers for NADWD, but I've tried to gear up this oneshot so that new readers could read it, and hopefully still be able to follow along. Unfortunately, it's not like that all the way through. Just be aware that there are a few OCs, and a few differences. 'bout all that needs noting there.
I feel it should also be noted that this one-shot counts as my twentieth fanfic, so kudos to me for that. :)
Happy holidays! :D
Last Minute Crime Fighting
A New Adventures of Darkwing Duck Christmas Special
"Launchpad, are you sure about this?" Drake asked hesitantly, as he watched the pilot pull the pan out of the oven.
"Sure I'm sure!" Launchpad assured his friend as he closed the oven again, holding the hot pan tightly with oven mitts. "It's an old family recipe! You'll love it, guaranteed!"
"I dunno, LP." Drake said, still unsure, as he eyed the pan's contents. "No offense, but...uh...you aren't the best of cooks."
"Don't worry, I followed the recipe word for word." Launchpad assured his friend. "You saw it, you know that it's perfectly okay."
"Yeah, but even then, you have an odd way of messing things up." Drake pressed, still not convinced.
"Oh, lighten up, DW!" Launchpad said as he placed the pan on the kitchen counter to cool, waving his oven mitt over it to help cool it. "What's Christmas without one of these, anyway?"
"I suppose that's true." Drake said, following him to the counter. "But not in the sense you're thinking of."
"Hey, you said that you wanted something new and special for Christmas dinner tomorrow." Launchpad pointed out. "This is it."
Drake peered into the pan again. "Yeah, but...a fruit cake?"
For that was what it was. Launchpad's fruit cake looked innocent enough sitting in the pan, and Drake couldn't deny that it smelt good, but he had had fruit cake before, and usually it didn't sit well with him. He had always thought fruit cakes were something to be despised. But not in the McQuack family, apparently, who, according to Launchpad, was quite fond of the recipe, and Launchpad remembered growing up having it every Christmas.
"Look, just wait until tomorrow night, then you'll see." Launchpad assured his friend. "Heck, you don't even have to wait that long. I'll let you have a taste tonight. Though, you might want to let it cool a little longer still."
"Yeah, fine." Drake said, and turned to look at the clock. "Where is Gosalyn anyway?" he asked. "She should've been back by now. It's nearly dark out, and it's Christmas Eve! It's not like her for her to be late."
And then, almost as if on cue, Gosalyn suddenly burst in through the front door, dusted with snow.
"I'm home!" she called, brushing snow off of her. "Man, is it coming down out there! Honk said we must have gotten a whole two inches in the past hour alone!" she sniffed the air suddenly. "You guys cooking something?" she asked, heading for the kitchen.
"Yeah, but uh..." Drake called back, then hesitated, wondering if he wanted to finish that thought. He decided not to. "...uh, yeah." He turned to watch as his adopted daughter, now a teenager, stepped into the room, still brushing snow off of herself. "So, did you have fun?"
"You bet!" Gosalyn replied empathically, snuffling, and rubbing at her cold beak distractedly. "I may be eighteen now, but I still say that there's some good fun in sledding down hills!"
"No one said otherwise, Gos." Launchpad pointed out.
"And Honker used his science skills to build this wicked snow jump!" Gosalyn continued, not listening. "Keen gear, it was so cool!"
"So you had fun, then." Drake summarized, pleased.
"Yeah, I did." Gosalyn said with a happy nod, and turned to leave. "What a great way to end Christmas Eve! Like a precursor to the fun that tomorrow will bring, on Christmas Day! Keen gear, I can hardly wait! The gifts I'll have to tomorrow!" she turned around at the door to look back at Drake and Launchpad. "Including, I hope, that new video game I asked for, Whiffle Boy: Unleashed. Keen gear, I can't wait to play that game tomorrow."
Looking wistful, she then exited the room. Grinning, Drake turned around to help Launchpad clean up from their baking.
"Well, she's clearly excited." he remarked to the pilot.
"Well, who wouldn't be?" Launchpad asked, starting collecting their used baking dishes and dumping them in the sink. "I'm excited to open presents tomorrow morning too."
"Speaking of presents," Drake said, turning on the water in the sink, "you're, uh, getting her that game, right?"
"Huh?" Launchpad asked, then shook his head. "Uh, no, I'm not."
Drake froze. "You're not?"
"Uh-uh. Decided it was a little too pricy, so I got her a box of candy bars instead."
"But-but...I thought you were going to get her that game!"
"Nope. Figured you would get it anyway."
"But I didn't. I thought you were going to get it, so I didn't buy it!" Drake slapped his face. "Dang it! If Gos doesn't get that game tomorrow, we'll never hear the end of it!"
"Well, what's the big deal? Just run to the store and buy it real quick."
Drake gave Launchpad a look. "LP...it's Christmas Eve."
"Yeah."
"As in...the night before Christmas."
"I know."
"Launchpad, those stores are going to be packed with last-minute shoppers!"
"So?"
"So? Launchpad, I do not do last-minute shopping!"
"But DW...do you really have that choice?" Launchpad asked innocently.
Drake moaned as he realized the pilot's point. "Oh...you're right, I don't have much of a choice, do I?" he bemoaned, then sighed and grabbed his car keys. "All right, I run over to the mall and grab the game real quick. You hold down the fort in the meantime."
"What should I tell Gosalyn when she notices you aren't here?" Launchpad asked.
"I don't know, make something up!" Drake snapped as he headed out to the garage. "That's going to be your problem. Now, I'll be back as soon as I can."
Across town, inside a warehouse hideout, Drake wasn't the only one worrying about Christmas presents.
"Tomorrow's Christmas, mates." Rowe noted aloud as he watched the snow fall outside the Fearsome Five's hideout. "Y'know, I was in jail this time last year."
"Yes, I remember that well." Bushroot commented as he, Quackerjack, and NegaGosalyn played cards. "Negaduck made sure we were all aware of that, so that we wouldn't go repeating that mistake.
"Aye." Rowe replied distractedly, not really listening. The otter was silent for a moment, then turned to look at his friends. "What did you guys do last Christmas, seeing I missed it?"
"Stuff." Quackerjack replied.
"What kind of stuff? Christmas stuff?"
"The tradition on Christmas is that usually Negaduck takes us all out to wreak havoc." NegaGosalyn replied matter-of-factly, playing her hand in the process. "For instance, last year, we went and ransacked various shops throughout town."
"That doesn't sound very Christmasy." Rowe noted, frowning.
"Works for me." Quackerjack said brightly as he, too, played his hand.
"But what about all of those usual Christmas traditions?" Rowe asked. "Y'know, like opening presents, and Christmas dinner, and trees, and the such?"
"Negaduck despises anything and everything pertaining to the word 'Christmas'." NegaGosalyn remarked.
"I remember Megavolt used to give me Christmas presents back in the day, though." Bushroot stated, remembering. "I actually kind of miss that, to be honest. Wouldn't mind having that again."
"Depending on the gift, I think I wouldn't mind as well." Quackerjack remarked, forced to agree with Bushroot's sentiment.
"All I'd want for Christmas is more ammo for my P90." NegaGosalyn remarked. "That'd keep me happy."
"Hmm." Rowe remarked, thinking about that for a few moments.
"All right, you knobs, enough fooling around!" Negaduck exclaimed suddenly as he exited the back room of the warehouse and approached the group, grabbing their attention. "We've got better things to do than this! Because as you all know, it's Christmas Eve! My favorite time of the year!" he grinned wickedly and rubbed his hands together. "For causing havoc, that is."
"Whatcha got planned, boss?" Quackerjack asked, turning in his seat to look at Negaduck.
"Just what we always do on this time of year." Negaduck commented. "We go and strike at a few stores, and rob them of their valuables! So c'mon, you lazy lot! Let's go do that!"
He led the way out of the warehouse, the others following him. Rowe brought up the rear, still thinking to himself, a clever grin starting to spread across his face.
"And while you're all doing that," he said to himself, "I think I'll do some Christmas shopping of my own..."
As Gosalyn had made clear when she returned from her sledding trip, it was snowing quite heavily outside, blanketing the city of St. Canard in a thick, fluffy, snow, falling in large snowflakes that swirled around slightly on the light breeze that came with the snowstorm. As late as it was, the snowfall threatened visibility conditions for drivers, but Drake was accustomed to driving vehicles in many forms of weather, and wasn't bothered by this problem.
Nor, did it seem, any of the other drivers on the streets that night, at least not enough for them to turn back, for there were several drivers on the streets that night as well. For Drake, this did not bode well, for he realized these people could all be other last-minute Christmas shoppers, and some of them could be seeking the same thing as he.
His suspicions grew worse when he arrived at the mall, and saw that it was packed with customers, much more than it normally would be at this time of night, regardless of the season. Drake gulped as he parked, and prepared himself for the worse. Inside the store, things were not much better. The place was so crammed that everybody was shoulder to shoulder, and it was difficult to move in any direction effectively, or at times, even see where you were. Drake quickly sought out the destination he wanted, the mall's only store that sold only video games, and headed straight to it, pushing his way through the crowds as needed.
"Excuse me!" he said as he went. "Pardon me! Excuse me, need to get through!"
Finally, upon arriving at the store, which thankfully had more elbow room to offer, Drake started scanning the shelves for the game Gosalyn wanted. After a few minutes he realized he had scanned every shelf, and had not found the game. Quickly, he searched again, with the same results.
"Uh-oh." Drake muttered to himself. Seeing a store employee passing by, he grabbed his attention. "Hey! I'm looking for Whiffle Boy: Unleashed, where is it?"
The employee looked at him for a moment, slightly amused. "Little late to start looking for that, don't you think?" he remarked snidely.
"I don't want to launch into a full blown explanation as to why I'm last minute shopping, I just want the game." Drake remarked flatly, annoyed. "Where is it? Don't you carry that whole franchise of games?"
"We do." the employee replied, getting more serious about the matter this time. "And normally we would have that game too...if we have any in stock. We sold out yesterday."
"What?" Drake repeated, dismayed. "But...but...you guys always have the popular games that Gos wants in stock!"
"Very flattering." the employee said. "But with Christmas rolling around, we've been having real trouble keeping our shelves stocked. Especially so with Whiffle Boy: Unleashed, as that's a really hot game right now." he paused, then added, "Sorry."
Drake stared up at the ceiling in frustration for a moment. "Where else might I find that game?" he asked.
"Well, I don't know if any of them have the game in stock either, but just about every store that sells video games in town should have it." the employee said.
Drake narrowed his eyes at him. "That not exactly helpful." he commented.
"Glad to be of service." the employee said sarcastically, and turned to leave. "Have a nice night."
Drake glared at him as he left. Then, he suddenly heard a commotion going on outside the store. Turning around and looking out into the main corridors of the mall, he saw that the crowd was hurrying past much faster than before, and was actually beginning to thin. Drake was just about to praise this event, as it would make things that much easier for him to search other stores, but then he realized that the crowd was fleeing in terror. Looks of panic was etched on their faces, and some were even screaming.
Alarmed now, Drake hurried to the door, and looked in the direction everybody was running away from. There, in plain sight, was Quackerjack, hopping on a turbo-powered pogo stick, throwing normal bouncy balls around that were hitting people and getting under foot, laughing his head off as he did so.
Drake frowned. "Oh, great." he muttered.
"It's PLAYTIIIIIME!" Quackerjack yelled as he bounced around, having great pleasure watching as the customers got whacked by his bouncy balls bouncing everywhere, or tripped and slipped on them, toppling over. "Hee-hee, this is great fun!"
"The fun ends here, Quackerjack!" an all too-familiar voice from behind him.
Quackerjack yelped, and turned to look, and ended up crashing into a potted plant as a result. Quickly disentangling himself, he turned to look towards the source of the voice in time to see a cloud of blue smoke gush forth from the middle of the corridor.
"I am the terror that flaps in the night!" Darkwing exclaimed, emerging from the cloud. "I am that annoying squeal Rudolph's nose makes in the TV special! I am Darkwiiing Duck!"
"Ohh, Darkwing, why must you always ruin the fun?" Quackerjack asked in annoyance as he struggled to liberate himself from the potted plant he had fallen into. "No fun at all!"
"Sorry, Quackerjack, but no one but yourself likes your style of fun!" Darkwing said, whipping out his gas gun in preparation to fire a canister of sleeping gas at the demented clown.
But before he could, Negaduck suddenly skidded into Darkwing's line of fire, pistol drawn, and ready to fire. Yelping, Darkwing quickly ducked for cover as Negaduck fired the pistol at him, scaring him out of the immediate way. He then turned to Quackerjack.
"When Dipwing shows up, it's time to leave." he growled, heaving Quackerjack up to his feet. "Find the others, and let's leave."
Quackerjack gave him a comical salute and hopped back onto his pogo stick to seek out the rest of the gang, while Negaduck raced off on foot to do likewise. Quackerjack hadn't gotten far, however, when Darkwing suddenly jumped out from nowhere, and tackled the clown from behind as he started to land his pogo stick for another bounce. Both crashed to the floor, Quackerjack rolling away from his pogo stick. Darkwing lifted it up victoriously.
"Ha!" he exclaimed. "I'd like to see you get away now without this!"
Quackerjack hopped onto his feet, and shrugged. "Okay, if you say so." he said.
Then, kicking one foot, then the other, roller skates popped out of the bottom of his shoes, and Quackerjack turned to skate away from the hero. Yelping, Darkwing quickly lunged forward to grab him again, but was too slow, and crashed to the floor, skidding on the smooth tile. As Quackerjack skated past a gardening store, Bushroot, having heard the commotion, stumbled out, hauling a shopping bag full of stolen goods in one hand. Quackerjack quickly grabbed him as he skated past.
"C'mon, Bushy, time to go, go, GO!" he squealed excitedly, hurrying for the exit.
Darkwing quickly picked himself up and tried to slow the group down by firing a grappling hook and rope at them from his gas gun. The hook and rope wrapped around Quackerjack's middle, but the clown merely whipped one arm around and sliced the rope in two with a swipe of a razor-edged frisbee before vanishing around the corner for the exit.
Darkwing gave pursuit, and rounded the corner in time to see Negaduck, Quackerjack, and Bushroot, now joined by Rowe and NegaGosalyn, hurry out the exit, NegaGosalyn laying down cover fire that Darkwing was quickly forced to avoid. In a blink of an eye, all five of them were gone. Darkwing sighed, and slapped his face.
"Just not my night." he remarked.
Outside, as they hurried through the streets to their next destination, the Fearsome Five, minus Negaduck who was leading the way, remarked about their exploits at the mall.
"I was having so much fun that I forgot to steal anything." Quackerjack was explaining happily. "I don't mind too much, I still had fun."
"I couldn't find what I wanted, no matter how hard I searched." NegaGosalyn remarked a little grumpily.
Bushroot glanced in his shopping bag of stolen loot. "I got a rock." he said.
The others glanced at him.
"A rock, mate?" Rowe questioned.
"Yeah." Bushroot said, still looking his bag. "Couple of them, actually. To decorate flower gardens at my greenhouse." he turned to the otter, noting that he, too, was toting a shopping bag. "What did you get, Rowe?"
Rowe hid the bag behind his back. "Nothing special." he remarked innocently, and left it at that.
"All right, what's our next stop?" Negaduck asked, turning to face the group. "What store should we raid next?"
"Actually, mate, I was wondering if we could spilt up." Rowe suggested. "Y'know, all go to the places of our choosing."
Negaduck thought about the idea for a moment, and was appealed by it. "That actually sounds like a pretty good idea, Rowe, surprising, seeing that it's you who's suggesting it." he remarked. "Okay, we'll spilt up into groups. Partner up if you want, I don't really care. Just don't get caught."
"Yes sir!" Quackerjack remarked, and bounded off in the direction he wanted to go in.
NegaGosalyn thought about it, then ventured off in the same direction as Quackerjack. Bushroot, without hesitation, bolted into an alley to head for the store of his choosing, and Negaduck vanished into the swirling snow towards his own destination. Rowe waited until they had all left, then with a grin, hurried off for his own location.
After the brief conflict with the Fearsome Five at the mall, the building was cleared out somewhat due to the attack, but as little damage was thankfully done, most of the stores remained open. And Drake searched most of them too, looking for the elusive game, but few of the other stores at the mall carried much in the way of video games, as they were all usually specialized for other things, and video games weren't among them. Eventually, Drake gave up there.
He then went to the next best store St. Canard had to offer for this kind of thing, and that was the multipurpose store, Wally World. Quickly driving over to it and entering the store, Drake quickly pulled aside a store employee and asked if they had the game in question. He decided that it would be better to just ask first, rather than to waste time searching for a game that wasn't going to be there.
Fortunately, he was in luck. The employee was happy to announce that they had just restocked their shelves with the game earlier that same night, and remarked that there should still be some left. Moving quickly, Drake rushed off to the video game section of the store to grab a copy of the game. Upon his arrival there, he noticed that the shelves looked suspiciously bare, with no game in sight. He was just beginning to worry that he was too late when he spotted it.
There, sitting all alone on it's shelf, was on last copy of Whiffle Boy: Unleashed.
With a surge of relief, Drake quickly rushed forward to grab the game, immensely thankful that the quest was almost over. But, just as he grabbed the game, someone else grabbed it at the same time, and now both of them held onto the same copy of the game. Drake looked at the other person, and noted with dismay that it was Rowe, who innocently carried a shopping bag in one hand, looking for all the world like another customer.
Drake gulped, and forced a grin. "Excuse me, sir, but I really need that game." he remarked, acting like he did not know Rowe.
"Oh, well, sorry mate, but I need it too." Rowe remarked, also being polite. If he recognized Drake, he wasn't showing it.
"Well...I need it more." Drake persisted, giving the game a tug in his direction.
"Not as much as I do, mate." Rowe persisted, tugging back.
Things quickly degraded into a tug of war after that, as both Drake and Rowe tried to tug the game out of each other's hands. Finally, as both of them began putting all their weight into wrenching the game from each other, Rowe's claws slipped on the plastic case, leaving gouges in the plastic wrap that covered it, and lost his grip. Surprised as the otter suddenly let go, Drake stumbled backwards out of the aisle and ran into a display of other video games, causing the makeshift tower of cases topple down on top of him. Rowe, also surprised, stumbled backwards and tripped, falling onto his back.
The otter was quickly back on his feet again, but by that point, Drake had already burst of out the pile of video games and made mad dash for the store's exit. Acting quickly, Rowe clambered up a nearby set of shelves until he stood on top of it, then jumped from row to row of shelves until he had caught up with Drake. Grabbing hold of a light to swing from, Rowe dropped down onto Drake and tackled him to the floor, the two rolling across the tile floor of the store.
The two fought for ownership of the game as they rolled, before Rowe was finally able to wrench the game from Drake, and kicked the duck aside before rolling into the side of the frozen foods display at the back of the store. Drake rolled through the double doors that led into the warehouse-like back of the store and vanished from sight. Rowe glanced at the game he had obtained, and jumped up, letting out a cheer at his victory.
Then a cloud of blue smoke gushed out from nearby.
"I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the Summer Wheeze that vaporizes your snow! I am Darkwing Duck!"
With a mad yell, Darkwing lunged out of the cloud of smoke and dove for Rowe. With a yelp, the otter turned and fled. Darkwing merely gave chase, and was quickly close enough to grab a hold of Rowe's rudder-like tail and pull.
"Ack!" Rowe exclaimed in pain at the tug. "Ow, ow, ow!"
Without warning, he suddenly spun around and decked Darkwing, hard, in the side of the head, pushing Darkwing over. The hero's head then banged off a shelf in the frozen meats section, before falling heavily ontop of a stack of frozen steaks, dazed. Rowe quickly used that chance to get away, game in tow, a fact Darkwing was quickly dismayed to note once he had recovered from the otter's final blow.
He was back to square one.
"Sorry, it looks like we're out of stock when it comes to Whiffle Boy: Unleashed games." the employee of the next store Drake visited reported as she checked the store's records on the computer, while Drake tried to wait patiently. "Unless we've got some more that have just arrived. Let me check real quick." she typed in a few more commands, then shook her head. "Nope. Sorry."
"Well, thanks for checking." Drake said, and sighed. "Do you know of anyplace in town that would have that game in stock?"
"I don't know." the employee admitted, thinking about the matter. "Have you tried that video game place at the mall?"
"First place I tried." Drake said with a moan. "It's just not my night I guess."
The conversation was suddenly interrupted as a group of other customers suddenly ran past, panicked and clearly fleeing from something. Drake took annoyance at this.
"Oh, now what?" he cried.
The answer was Bushroot. The mutant plant-duck was currently in the store's gardening section, grabbing various gardening supplies from the shelves calmly and idly, even whistling a Christmas tune to himself as he went. He ignored the panicked customers as they turned and ran at the sight of him.
"Yeah, yeah, don't mind me, I'm just Christmas shopping for myself like I'm sure all the rest of you are." he commented aloud.
He then continued with what he was doing for a moment, before he suddenly froze as a cloud of blue smoke appeared further up the aisle.
"I am the terror that flaps in the night!" Darkwing exclaimed, getting exasperated. "I am the unexpected clause in an agreement that you don't like! I am Darkwing Duck!"
"Darkwing!" Bushroot exclaimed in terror, turning to face the hero as he emerged from the cloud of smoke. "If I didn't know better, I'd say that you were following me!"
"Funny, I was just going to say the same thing." Darkwing grumbled, advancing on the plant-duck. "I suppose you're going to try and run too, just like your compatriots, hmm?"
"It certainly sounds like a good idea." Bushroot agreed nervously, slowly beginning to back up.
"Well, tough!" Darkwing exclaimed, and leapt forward, grabbing Bushroot's ankles.
Bushroot yelped, and struggled to break free, wobbling dangerously as his body threatened to overbalance and fall over. The shopping bag he carried and had been dropping stolen goods into snagged on a shelf corner as this happened, and Bushroot lost his grip on it. The heavy bag, with Bushroot's rocks lying on it's bottom, then fell on Darkwing's head.
"OW!" the hero yelped, and released Bushroot so to rub at his sore head without thinking.
The moment he was free, Bushroot quickly scrambled away, and escaped, leaving his shopping bag behind in his hurry. Darkwing was pleased at that much, for it meant the stolen goods could be returned to their rightful owners. But Bushroot still got away with the crime. And Darkwing was dismayed to remember that he was back to square one with his quest for the video game.
Again.
As it grew ever later, Darkwing realized he couldn't keep this up forever, and sought a faster way to continue this search. Getting an idea, he drove to the closest pay phone and parked his car nearby it. Clambering out and hopping into the phone booth, he quickly stuck a few coins into the slot and dialed a special phone number. Anxiously, he waited for the other end to pick up.
"SHUSH Headquarters, Director Hooter speaking." finally came the response Drake was hoping for.
"Hi, J. Gander!" Drake remarked with relief already. "It's me, Darkwing."
"Darkwing!" Hooter exclaimed brightly on the other end of the phone. "Merry Christmas! I must say, I wasn't expecting to hear from you, tonight."
"Yeah, neither was I." Drake admitted. "But I'm in a bit of a pickle."
"I can see that, according to our phone tracing system, you're calling from a pay phone. What's up? Is there a situation going on that I need to know about?"
"Well, the Fearsome Five are out doing their yearly Christmas crime spree, but I've got that...more or less...under control. Actually, I need you to track down an item for me."
"Okay, what is it?"
"A video game, called Whiffle Boy: Unleashed."
"Okay, working on it...is this for a case?"
"Uh, no. I'm...uh...Christmas shopping."
"Right, Chrismas..." Hooter trailed off for a moment as he realized what he was saying. "Christmas shopping? Really?"
"Uh, yeah, it's a really long story." Drake admitted, rubbing at his forehead.
"Oh." Hooter paused. "Darkwing, as much as I like doing favors for you, I'm not sure I can justify using SHUSH resources to track down Christmas gifts like this to the president."
"I...I know, but J. Gander, I'm at my wits end here, and the Fearsome Five have been anything but helpful. So...could you please?"
Drake would almost hear the smile Hooter was undoubtably wearing by this point. "Well, seeing that you're desperate, and that SHUSH does owe you several favors for what you've done over the years, I'll see what I can come up with."
"Great!" Drake said, and waited.
He didn't have to wait long. "Looks like a small store by the name of J-Mart just got in a large shipment of the games a few hours ago." Hooter reported after a few moments. "Odds are good that they will have a copy you can have."
"Really?" Drake remarked. "J. Gander, that's great! Where's the store?"
"On Ruby Street, right next to that old military depot store." Hooter said. "Give me a few moments, though, and I might have some more stores you can check in case that one doesn't work out."
But by that point, Drake had spied something walking along on the other side of the street, and sighed in frustration. It was NegaGoslayn and Quackerjack.
"I'm going to have to get back on you on that, J. Gander." he said into the phone. "Because it looks like I've got some more villain butt to try and kick tonight."
"You know, NegaCrimson, I think you're too serious." Quackerjack was talking to NegaGosalyn as they walked along. "And I think I know why. You're scared of something. Maybe I can figure out what it is."
NegaGosalyn opened her mouth to object, but Quackerjack had already cut her short.
"Are you scared of responsibility?" Quackerjack asked. "If so, then you might have hypengyophobia. Or maybe cats? If you're afraid of cats, you have ailurophasia. Are you afraid of staircases? If so, then you have climacaphobia. Maybe you have thalassophobia. This is the fear of the ocean. Or there's gephyrobia, which is the fear of crossing bridges. Or maybe you have pantophobia. Do you think you have pantophobia?"
"What the heck is pantophobia?" NegaGosalyn asked, annoyed.
"The fear of everything!" Quackerjack replied with a grin.
NegaGosalyn gave him a look, then blanked out for a second. "Wait," she said, "isn't that from a TV show or something?"
"I dunno." Quackerjack said, then promptly changed the subject as something in a store window they were passing suddenly caught his eye. "Hey, look at that!" he pressed his face in the window and peered at the shiny object. "Wish I had that."
"Wish granted." NegaGosalyn replied, giving the clown a shove out of the way, then raised her P90 and fired indiscriminately at the window, shattering it nosily. The gunfire also tripped the store's security alarm, and alarms started to blare, but NegaGosalyn ignored it. Once the window was broken, NegaGosalyn reached through it, grabbed the object in question, and handed it to Quackerjack, who squealed in joy.
"Ooh!" he said, grabbing the object and looking it all over. "I've got it! I've actually got it!" he paused, then glanced at NegaGosalyn as they continued walking onward. Putting on a proper voice, he added, "Thank you, NegaCrimson."
"'Tis the season." NegaGosalyn remarked carelessly. "Just don't let me ever hear you say that I don't do anything nice for you."
They hadn't gone much farther down the street when they were suddenly stopped by a burst of blue smoke.
"I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the frozen flagpole that your tongue sticks to! I am Darkwing Duck!" Darkwing exclaimed as according to tradition, stepping out of the cloud, his gas gun raised. "All right, you guys have been going about ruining my Christmas Eve for too long now. Let's end this here and now."
NegaGosalyn raised her P90 defensively, but did not fire. "Unfortunately, it's not that simple, and you should know that." she remarked.
"Besides, you ruin the fun enough as it is." Quackerjack added, folding his arms and making a face at Darkwing.
Darkwing watched them very closely as he sought a plan to beat them before they bet him...yet again. Slowly, he started towards him.
"Now, let's not have any funny business here, this can end quite peacefully." Darkwing said as he moved slowly towards them. "Just don't move."
Surprisingly, they obeyed, though neither didn't seem to happy about it. Darkwing was nearly close enough to grab them when Quackerjack's expression suddenly brightened.
"Holy cow, I nearly forgot!" he exclaimed, slapping his face, and reached into his pocket.
"Quackerjack!" Darkwing said warningly, getting ready to pounce if need be.
Quackerjack, as usual, ignored him. From his pocket, he pulled out what appeared to be a small film canister. "Behold, my latest creation!" he said melodramatically. "Actually, Dorkwing, you should be flattered, I got the idea from you. Now, for a demonstration. Now you see us..."
"No!" Darkwing said, surging forward as he guessed was about to happen.
"...now you don't!" Quackerjack concluded, and with a laugh, threw the canister to the ground.
Upon hitting the ground, it burst open, releasing a cloud of yellowish smoke, serving as cover for the two villains to make their escape. Darkwing, however, anticipating the move, was upon the group as the smoke burst forth, and managed to grab somebody before they got away. He struggled with that person, trying to keep whoever it was at bay long enough for the smoke to clear and he could see properly. He didn't need to wait long before it did just that, and he saw that he had managed to snag Quackerjack. NegaGosalyn was already gone, either not knowing Quackerjack was caught, or not caring.
"Hey, leggo of me!" Quackerjack protested as he saw what it was that had him, increasing his struggling. "No fair! You don't play nice!"
"I would've thought that you would've known all of that by now!" Darkwing remarked as, while keeping Quackerjack pinned down, managed to pry away the stolen property NegaGosalyn had managed to get for him.
It was then that Quackerjack managed to get some leverage and twisted his body around and managed to get both of his feet under Darkwing and kicked, launching the hero off of him. Darkwing landed sprawled in a heap in the snowdrift while Quackerjack quickly jumped to his feet, and while skidding on the loose snow, made his getaway, hooting with laughter.
Darkwing pulled himself out of the snow, and watched him go with a sigh. "Must be terribly off my game tonight." he grumbled to himself. "It's just not my night."
But at least he had gotten a lead as to where he could obtain a copy of that pesky game, the whole reason he was even out tonight. The store Hooter had told him about was easy enough to find, and proved to be quite small and virtually unknown, for it didn't have many customers. It was about to close for the night when Drake arrived hurriedly, but they agreed to stay open long enough for Drake to get what he wanted.
Which was easy enough. The store really had just stocked up on copies of Whiffle Boy: Unleashed. It had whole shelves filled with the game, which was a shock for Drake, after having been to so many stores that had their shelves completely cleared out. A little too ecstatically, Drake quickly snatched up a copy of the game, comically celebrated aloud to himself, then, realizing that with his luck that night, he could lose the game just as quickly, he quickly pressed the game to himself and hurried to the check-out stand to purchase it. Once he safely had the game in his possession, he quickly stuck it under his winter coat to hide it, and hurried out of the store to his awaiting car.
Just when he thought he might actually get away from this all right and unharmed without interruption, he heard a loud crash from nearby. Skidding to a halt, he tracked the source of the sound to the nearby military depot store that Hooter had referred to when he told Drake about the store that had the game. It was clear that a commotion of some sort was taking place inside. And who was likely behind it was made clear when a gunshot was heard ringing out from within the store.
Drake made a scowl like he never had before. "Oh, come ON!" he yelled.
With a sigh, he hurried to his car, opened the car door, chucked the game into the vehicle, closed the door, locked the car, then sped off for the depot store to end whatever conflict that was taking place there...
"Mwahaha!" Negaduck chuckled cruelly as he looked over the various military items the store contained. "You've got enough stuff here to stock up an army! Just what I could use!"
"You're not going to get away with it, Negaduck!" the store owner, a hard-faced ex-general, said from where he was tied up in the corner. "The police will catch you!"
"The SCPD?" Negaduck asked, turning to look at the owner and blew a mocking raspberry. "Pfft! They've been trying to catch me for the past ten or so years. I'm not worried about the likes of them." he sighed as he turned to sift through some of the loot. "Darkwing, on the other hand..."
"Darkwing Duck is all show and not at all the hero he claims to be." the owner remarked with a snort. "He couldn't catch a common thief, much less you."
"Now on that, we can agree on." Negaduck said, as he shined a flashlight around the dark store. It had just closed for the night when Negaduck arrived to ransack it. "Now, what do you have in the way of weapons? Any flamethrowers..."
He was cut short when he heard something clatter further back in the store. Alarmed, Negaduck spun around and shined the light in the direction of the noise, wondering who caused it. It merely turned out to be someone annoying, however.
"Rowe!" Negaduck exclaimed angrily.
The otter jumped, dropping whatever it was he had been collecting with a clatter, and spun around and saluted. "Yes Negaduck?" he called sharply.
"What the heck are you doing here?"
"Um, I'm getting something real quick. Had no clue you'd be here too, mate. Won't be long, though, promise."
"Oh fine, get whatever it is that you want." Negaduck waved the otter on and turned away. "But be quick, and leave me in peace! I'm having fun here!"
"Yes mate!" Rowe exclaimed, and turned back to whatever it was that he was doing.
"Okay, where was I?" Negaduck said aloud, turning back to the store owner. "Oh yeah. Flamethrowers. Ya got 'em?"
"You really think I'd have live ammunition here?" the owner asked.
"An ex-general like you?" Negaduck asked, feigning innocence. "But of course. You just don't sell it."
The owner hesitated. "Well..." he began, seeking a way to stall.
Fortunately, he didn't have to, when another clatter rang out from within the store. Negaduck clenched his fists in annoyance.
"Now what are you up to, Rowe?" he demanded as he turned to face the noise.
But it was a cloud of blue smoke he found there, and not Rowe.
"I...am the terror that flaps in the night!" Darkwing exclaimed with obvious exasperation. "I am the sunbeam that melts your snowman! I am Darkwing Duck! And, while we're on the subject, I'm getting really annoyed at you guys messing with my Christmas holiday!"
"Really, Darkwing, I would've thought that you'd have gotten used to this by now." Negaduck remarked, as he glared at his long-time nemesis. "I didn't know you where in the neighborhood here."
"I was passing through." Darkwing remarked, slowly moving towards Negaduck.
"Hmm, that's how it always seems to be with you." Negaduck noted darkly, slowly reaching for his pistol. "Always at the right place at the right time, at least for you. You know, if you aren't careful, someday that'll be your undoing."
He then whipped out the gun and fired at Darkwing. Darkwing anticipated the move and ducked, the fired bullet missing him. Jumping back up quickly, he took out his gas gun and fired the grappling hook and rope at his foe. Negaduck, however, quickly grabbed an army tent pole from a nearby bucket full and held it up in front of him. The grappling hook hit it instead, and quickly wrapped around the pole. Once this was done, Negaduck let go of the pole just as Darkwing's gas gun's recoil kicked in. The pole shot towards Darkwing being pulled by the recoiling rope and hook, and smacked Darkwing in the face, knocking him over.
"Rowe, we gotta go!" Negaduck called as Darkwing went down, racing for the door without waiting to see if the otter had heard and was responding.
Negaduck had reached the door just as Darkwing, recovering from getting hit with the pole, tried to tackle him from behind. Negaduck simply grabbed his universal double, spun him around, and threw him to the ground before continuing to run for it. Darkwing lifted his head up out of the snow to see him leave, then, tired and sore, picked himself up, dusting himself off.
...Only to be knocked down again when Rowe suddenly plowed into him from behind, carrying something. The otter stumbled on the hero, but didn't stop for a second, and kept running.
"Sorry mate!" he called as he ran, and soon he, too, was out of sight.
Darkwing yet again picked himself up out of the snow. "What is with tonight, huh?" he exclaimed at no one in particular as he dusted himself off. Again.
"Hey!" the store owner called from where he was still tied up in the store. "Little help here?"
Darkwing sighed, and re-entered the store, pulling out a knife and used it to cut the owner's bonds. "There, you're free, now shut up." he grumbled, putting away the knife and wearily turning away again.
"Ah, thank you." the owner said, flexing his limbs and standing up. He then noticed that Darkwing was in the process of leaving again. "Hey, where do you think you're going?"
"Home." Darkwing replied without stopping. "I've had enough of this for tonight, and besides, I have a Christmas present to wrap."
The following Christmas morning proved to be a bright and pretty one, as the morning sun shone brightly off the newly fallen snow that had dropped during the night previous. It was so pretty...
...that it disgusted Negaduck, but that was life.
After the last escapade of the night, the gang had returned to the hideout to spend the night, retiring to a series of cots in the back of the hideout that they could sleep in. They all climbed into them without hesitation, because after all that excitement, even Negaduck was ready to call it a night. They had slept well, but now Negaduck was awake and ready to start the new day, which meant everybody else had to get up now as well.
"Wake up, you knobs!" He exclaimed at the sleeping forms in the other cots, his voice awakening them. "We've got plenty of things we can be doing today!" he took a mental roll call as the others reluctantly climbed out of bed, and noticed one was missing. "Where's Rowe?"
Everyone turned to look at the empty cot that was supposed to be the otter's then back at Negaduck.
"I dunno." Quackerjack replied.
"You got me." Bushroot stated.
"I haven't the foggiest." NegaGosalyn concluded.
Negaduck rolled his eyes. "Well, I'll deal with that otter's lazy tail later." he said as he turned to exit the hideout's back room, the others following him. "Right now, I want to take stock of what we got and what we didn't get last night, and also to...have...you..."
He trailed off after that, too stunned to say anything more as he and the others saw the sight that greeted them in the hideout's front room. There, standing in the middle of the spacious warehouse was a real Christmas tree, decorated and everything with ornaments, lights, the works. And sitting under it, neatly tucked away, were...
"Presents!" Quackerjack squealed in delight, and started for them.
NegaGosalyn stopped him, stunned at the sight. "But...who did it?" she asked aloud.
"That would be me, mates." Rowe remarked as he stepped out from behind the tree, dusting his hands to announce he had finished his work.
"Rowe!" Negaduck barked, looking somewhere between mad and shocked.
"You did this?" Bushroot asked.
"Aye, that I did." Rowe said, looking proud of himself. "Figured we could use some Christmas spirit, and what better way to get that...that with all of this? So, I got the tree, the decorations, and the presents, all last night for you guys to enjoy, mostly." he motioned to the presents and the tree. "Enough for everybody there to have one...so have at it, guys!"
The other four looked at each other, then surged forward to grab at the presents, save for Negaduck, who stood where he was and folded his arms, looking unhappy as he watched.
"Which one's for me?" Bushroot asked as he arrived at the tree.
"Uh, this one!" Quackerjack said, holding up the package before grabbing another one and reading it's tag. "This one is for me!"
"How did you know what to get us, Rowe?" NegaGosalyn asked as she probed experimentally at her gift.
"It wasn't hard." Rowe said with a grin.
"Hey, gardening equipment!" Bushroot exclaimed as he opened his present and looked inside. "Just what I needed! And decorative rocks for my flower garden, too! What a practical gift! A mutant plant-duck can really use this!"
"Ooh, a snow globe!" Quackerjack said, pulling out his present. "Look, there's a little clown inside! He looks like me!" he shook the ball violently for a moment, then peered inside. "Ooh, look at all the little snowflakes! I like this! Too bad it doesn't spontaneously blow up or anything like that."
NegaGosalyn suddenly gasped as she peered into her present. "Ammo for my P90!" she exclaimed, pulling out the clips to hold them above her head victoriously before pulling out the P90 itself to stuff the first new clip into it.
"Gee, Rowe, it was really great of you to do this for us." Bushroot commented, looking touched. His face fell suddenly. "I wish we had thought to get you something."
"I thought of that, mates." Rowe said with a grin, and reached behind the tree and pulled out another present. He held it out for the others to see, then pulled off the wrappings to reveal the game he had managed to swipe from Drake the night previous. "See?" he said, motioning to it. "Got exactly what I wanted."
Bushroot laughed.
"All right guys, you've had your fun now." Negaduck interrupted, thinking this icky Christmas joy had gone on for long enough. "Now, we need to..." he trailed off when he noticed that NegaGosalyn was heading outside. "Hey! Where do you think you're going?"
"Outside to go practice shooting." NegaGosalyn replied excitedly, holding her P90 with the new clip of ammo in it tightly.
"Don't shoot your eye out." Rowe and Bushroot chorused together in response, and then both laughed, high-fiving each other.
"But...but..." Negaduck stuttered, flustered that his own gang wasn't paying much attention to him, "...I have big plans today, and..."
"Ah, go boil your head, Negsy!" Quackerjack interrupted, admiring his snow globe still.
"Quackerjack!" Negaduck exclaimed, stunned.
"No, he's right." Bushroot said, coming to the clown's defense. "Just let us enjoy Christmas for a change Negaduck. You don't have to participate, though, if you don't want to."
"But you're certainly welcome to." Rowe remarked.
Negaduck gave all three of them a glare, then waved his hands in the air, giving up. "Aw, bah humbug!" he exclaimed, turned to head for his office. "You guys have your stupid fun!"
Negaduck then sat in his office and moped for a little bit, annoyed at the Christmas fever that had ensnared his teammates. He hadn't been in there for long before Rowe suddenly appeared at the door, another present in his hand.
"Uh, Negaduck?" he asked hesitantly.
"What?" Negaduck barked.
"There is a present here for you too, you know." Rowe said, holding up the package.
Negaduck glanced at it, then frowned and looked away. "I don't want it." he grumbled.
"But I picked it out especially for you, mate." Rowe said, walking up to the villain's desk. He set it on the desk's edge. "Look, it's there if you want it, and may the record show that I went to the trouble of getting it for you regardless."
He then left. Negaduck watched him go, then tried to focus on some paperwork for a moment. Then he glanced at the present for a moment. Finally, sighing, and overcome with curiosity, he pulled the gift in front of him, and pulled off the wrapping. Opening up the box underneath, he cautiously peered inside. He then raised an eyebrow, and pulled out the flamethrower from within the box and looked it over, mildly impressed.
"Well," Negaduck was forced to admit, setting the flamethrower down on his desk to admire, "at least the knob knew what I wanted."
"Whoo-hoo!" Gosalyn cheered as she pulled off the gift wrapping to reveal the Whiffle Boy: Unleashed game underneath. "Keen gear, here it is! Thanks dad!"
She quickly jumped up and gave Drake, who sat on the couch behind her, looking tired, a heartfelt hug.
Drake returned it. "You're welcome kiddo." he replied.
Gosalyn grinned brightly, and with a giddy giggle, returned to unwrapping presents. Drake watched her go, unmoving. His gifts had all been handed to him to unwrap, but he was too tired to do so, and merely set them aside to open later, when he had more energy. Beside him, Launchpad was opening his own presents. After admiring his latest gift for a moment, he, too, watched Gosalyn happily tearing open other presents, while keeping the prize game nearby.
"Well, crisis adverted." Launchpad remarked, returning to his present opening.
"Mm." Drake grunted sleepily.
"See, DW, I told you it wouldn't be so hard to get that game."
Drake gave the pilot a long, cold, look, before picking himself up off the couch. "I'm going back to bed." he grumbled, heading for the stairs.
"What? Was it something I said?" Launchpad asked, confused. "DW? DW! Was it something I said?"