After the Island: Sawyer

Disclaimer: Lost is the property of ABC. I'm not making any money from this. Please don't sue.

Note: This fic is primarily Skate but does refer to the previous existence of jate/suliet.

Claire had said she wasn't taking care of herself.

After landing in California, life had gone on. Not as usual, because Claire had been living alone on the island for three years, Kate was still grieving over Jack's certain death, and Sawyer was still trying to move on from Juliet and find a legitimate means of supporting himself.

Hurley had somehow managed to transfer several million dollars into each of their bank accounts before disappearing, but still, Sawyer needed something to do to pass the time.

Claire and Kate had moved in together. Kate had bought this huge house before going to trial, partly with money that Oceanic had given them from the settlement. She'd been the first to admit it was too big for one person. It had been too big for two people. It would probably have been too large had she and Jack gotten married and had five more kids.

Besides, Claire was still recovering from the island and it just made sense for her and Aaron to live somewhere that he was used to. With someone he was used to. Claire's mom, or, as she called her, "mum", had gone back to Australia. Sawyer figured that Claire might have wanted to go with her, but taking another plane to get there was too much to expect at the moment.

Not to mention that Claire didn't want to separate Aaron from Kate, who had been his mom for three years. Not yet, not permanently.

Sawyer had bought an apartment in San Diego, just a few hours away from Kate and Claire. Close enough to stay in touch, to visit, but not close enough to intrude or make Kate feel like he was expecting things from her.

Except he had expected that she'd be able to take care of herself. He'd known she'd been distraught over Jack's death, was still grieving six months later. Maybe, since Claire had been taking over as the mother role in Aaron's life, Kate felt that it was no longer necessary to maintain control.

Sawyer hadn't been too surprised when he'd heard about her not eating well, not sleeping well, and staring off into space for hours on end for the first week or so after they'd gotten back. Freckles was tough. She'd snap out of it.

Six months later, things hadn't changed much. She still stayed in bed or on the same couch for most of the day, rarely left her house, showered maybe once a week, and mostly lived in her pajamas. She didn't eat much, even if Claire made food and brought it to her. Kate had always been thin, but Claire thought that she'd lost at least ten pounds since they returned.

He'd wanted to stay out of it, at first. Let her grieve. He was still grieving. Kate knew Sawyer was there, just a phone call or a text message away. Occasionally, he called or texted her. Nothing serious, just something like, "Hey Freckles" with a smiley face. If she responded, he'd ask her how she was, if she needed anything, if she wanted to get together. That was rare. But she'd never respond to the second text, and Sawyer figured he should just butt out. Let Kate deal with her problems.

Until Claire called and told him to get over there now, because Kate wasn't getting any better and it wasn't solely her responsibility to take care of her.

"She hasn't eaten anything in days," Claire had confided over the phone. "I'm surprised she's not worse. She needs you."

So it was on a cloudy October day that Sawyer packed a few pieces of clothing in an overnight bag and drove the couple of hours to Kate's house.

It was bigger than he remembered, but once he got inside, he saw that it was mostly unused. Kate was sitting on the faded blue couch, exactly where Claire had said she'd be, staring outside at nothing. She wasn't crying, but she had been. Sawyer saw that she hadn't even bothered to wipe away the tears, so they were still marks on her cheeks where they'd been.

She looked worse than he had expected. He felt anger at not coming sooner.

"Freckles," he murmured, taking a seat next to her.

She didn't respond to the noise or the movement. It was like she was in a trance.

Sawyer's mind recalled a similar scenario, nearly five years ago. Ana and that other girl, Hurley's girlfriend, had just been shot. Mike had killed them, but at the time they thought it was Ben. Who they knew as Henry. Hurley had been in the room when his girlfriend died, and Jack had been right next to him. No one had noticed Kate on the other side of the room. Sitting on one of the dharma couches, staring at a broken statue of the Virgin Mary, and sobbing.

No one except him.

He'd sat down next to her then. At first, Kate had pulled away. Then, Sawyer had put his arms around her and held her. She stopped struggling, even nestled against him, and stopped crying as he help her, comforted her with soothing words, and rocked her back and forth. Soon, she'd fallen asleep. After she woke up, Sawyer had made sure she'd gotten some food to eat, because that's what his grandmother had done when he'd been sick or especially upset.

He'd made her scrambled eggs, if he recalled correctly. Kate had eaten them, every bite, and then fell asleep in his arms again. Later, she thanked him in her own way, with a sincere smile. They'd gotten a lot closer that afternoon, which probably helped lead up to what happened in the cages a few weeks later.

Sawyer had never stopped loving Kate. She was on his mind even during his most intimate moments with Juliet. Had he been with her for those three years instead of Kate, they'd probably have gotten married, or at least engaged. She'd been like a ghost to him, a ghost of everything he'd missed out on because the helicopter couldn't support their weight.

Now, Kate actually looked like a ghost. So pale from never going outside. Her freckles were almost imperceptible. If he was going to be brutally honest, she kind of smelled like death too. Probably hadn't showered or brushed her teeth in days. Not that she'd been able to do that regularly on the island, but the smell was more potent here. Like decay.

Sawyer wanted to hold her the way he had five years ago. Wanted to let her know that he was there. And her did, for a few minutes. Then he got up and guided her to the bathroom. It was funny, because he had no idea where it was, but he seemed to find it without much trouble. Pushed her inside, gently but firmly.

"Get cleaned up," he told her. "I'll get some food ready."

"Scrambled eggs?" Her eyes betrayed a hint of a smile.

"Whatever you want, as long as it's here. Claire been shopping lately?"

He heard the water start and shut the door, missing her response.

She emerged a half hour later, smelling of strawberry shampoo and mint toothpaste. Kate was still in pajamas, but these ones were clean. She still looked pale, though. She didn't smell like death anymore, but she sure looked like it.

He motioned to the couch. A few blankets were spread out, and a large plate filled with scrambled eggs sat on the table a few feet away. Next to the eggs was a large glass of orange juice, a blueberry bagel, and a plate of strawberries. If Sawyer could just get her to eat half of everything, and keep it down, he'd be happy.

Kate started to pull off one of the blankets, but Sawyer stopped her.

"Let me."

She nodded and sat down again. He carefully took one of the blankets and wrapped it around her shoulders. Took another one and tucked it around her legs. Left the third one alone, for now.

Then, Sawyer took a seat next to her. Watched as she ate the food. All of it. When she was done, he held out his arms as though asking if it was all right. She nodded, nestled against his chest, and shut her eyes. He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her tightly. Keeping her secure. Somehow maneuvered the third blanket around his shoulders.

Kate slept, and there were no nightmares. Just sound, deep sleep.

She was gonna be okay. They both would be. Sawyer felt his eyes starting to close.