This was written ages ago (most of my fanfic was…), and I decide to come back and spruce it up a bit.
Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits basket or any of its characters. I think that's obvious enough as it is, and disclaimers are ridiculous, but still. I don't.
The moment stretches forever as our gazes meet. His glaring, red eyes stare at me, an indefinable expression, filled with crackling energy and raw emotion, yet inaccessible, unyielding to my profound analyze.
What did I miss, my little monster? When I look at you, I feel like there was a world of evolution in you that I failed to notice. I want to find out, find everything out. And now, I'll have a whole lifetime to do it…!
I look back, cocking my head to one side, observing. This creature is, in its hidden form a denigrated beast, a horror, an atrocity. I am god. He can't escape the fate god made him. I realize that I am reassuring myself. But there is nothing to doubt. He's mine, as much as all of them are. And yet, I am not certain. Something in that look scares me. I turn my eyes away, regaining my self-control. This is stupid. All of this is stupid. Still, I realize how tall Kyo has become. Imposing even.
"Kyo" I say, looking back at him with a smile on my lips. Tentatively, I lift my fingers to his face. He flinches, but doesn't move away. He is so handsome. My fingers caress his cheek, my eyes moving along his face, memorizing the features. His eyes haven't left my face, and he looks expectant. As if he was waiting for something. Now what does he want?
I realize I'm wanting something, bad. I'm longing to touch those lips, bury my face in that chest.
MONSTER! I remind myself. He is a monster, an abomination, the culminating point of horror. Yet my gaze is fixed solidly on his face, and nothing in the world can make me let go of his hand, which I have unconsciously grabbed.
He's mine. I own him. All of him. Just for me. He'll live here now. I won't bother locking him up. He'll live in my room, hidden. No one will know, no one will guess. My toy, my thing.
I am going to sharpen my claws on his free will.
He hasn't said a word yet. My Kyo. Kyonkitchi? Who knows…
He's still looking at me. He's not shouting, or punching holes in the wall, or breaking down doors. He hasn't asked me to let him go, to cancel the bet. Why?
I look into his eyes again. And suddenly, I find myself holding my emotions in the palm of my hand. I can see them clearly, sort through them. And the most prominent one is…fear. I am afraid, I know it clearly. And in love. Does that happen? Can one fall in love with the creature one hates? But he is so handsome…
"You're mine…" I whisper softly into his ear. Sweet. My sweet. My Kyo.
"Forever!" I say, loudly, relishing the finality in my voice, enjoying the feel of those words on my tongue. He is, isn't he! There is no way he can disobey god.
"No". It's not loud, but it's enough to make me freeze. I look up at his face, and finally, I understand the look in his eyes. Desperation. Determination. The two mingle. He's unreachable, irrecoverable. He's lost to me. Mine?
"No". Again. The word has reached my heart, cold and sharp as a knife, twisting right and left, causing pain. So much of it. I feel faint. Not mine. Never. Never again.
"We made a bargain…" I grasp at the last dregs of hope. He can't just GO! I won't let him…
My hand lifts, to grab the edge of his tee-shirt, which flitters just out of my reach. My eyes close, eyelids pushed downwards and held there. For just a second, but that is enough. I hear a door slam. My eyes snap open. Alone. Bitter tears fall. Alone again. My head hurts. He's gone. I fall to my knees. I'm god. I'm GOD!
And I can't make him come back…