A/N – Okay, so I'm constantly writing new fics, but this one just came to me whilst I was in the shower (bad mental images, I know, I'm sorry), and I thought I should write it. Enjoy.

Disclaimer – I do not own anything you recognise.

Summary – What happens when our two favourite sexy gay guys (don't act like you didn't know that they were gay!) get locked up in a bunch of random places? Well… read on and SEE!

Locked Up

CHAPTER 1 – The Broom Closet

It was dinner at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. This was everybody's favourite time of the day. Apart from breakfast. And lunch. And those little midnight snacks that Harry and Ron always got from the kitchens. At midnight. Surprise surprise. Everybody was eating dinner at this present point in time. P.P.I.N. Wow. I'm smart, cause I made an acronym thingy. Anyways…

Two people were missing from the Great Hall. I'll give you until the count of five to guess who's missing.

1…

2…

3…

4…

5…

If you guessed Harry and Draco, you'd be correct. However, you do not get a prize. Continue reading.

Where were the lovable duo, you ask? Well, let's take a look.

"I can't believe this, Potter…"

"Don't blame this on me, Malfoy. You're the one who thought you'd spontaneously combust if you stayed out in the air for too long."

"It can happen!"

"You'll spontaneously combust if you hold your farts in…"

"What the hell have you been watching, Potter?"

"South Park. Also, if you fart, you'll ruin the O-Zone layer thingy, so either way, we're doomed. Whether it be spontaneously combusting, or pollution, we're all going to die one day."

"You're a dickhead, Potter."

"You're a ferret. Do you see me complaining?"

"Are… are you calling me a ferret?"

"Yes, I believe I am."

"Oh that is it!"

Draco let out a war cry, and jumped for Harry, knocking him to the ground and beginning to pummel every bit of skin he could find.

"Wait! Malfoy!"

Harry put his hands up to defend himself.

"What, Potter?" Draco spat.

"Firstly, say it, don't spray it", Harry said, "And secondly, shouldn't we be trying to get out of here?"

Draco thought for a moment. "Well, as much as I'd love to pummel you… yes, I suppose we should get out of here…"

Draco climbed off of Harry (A/N – Oh man that sounds kinky...), and tried to open the door. "…it's locked…"

"What do you mean, it's locked?" Harry asked.

"I mean the door won't open, you dicknose!"

"I know what locked means!"

"Then why didn't you –"

"That's not important now. You're a wizard, aren't you?"

"Last I heard I was."

"So Alohamora out way out of here, or something…"

"…can't…"

"Why not?"

"I left my wand in the Common Room."

"Well that's just… peachy!"

"Why can't you Alohamora us out of here?"

"…left my wand at the Dursley's…"

"You IDIOT! What kind of retard leaves their wand at their Muggle family's place!"

"Apparently I do!"

"EXACTLY! YOU'RE AN IDIOT!"

Back at the Great Hall, Hermione and Ron had suddenly noticed that Harry wasn't there. And by the looks of things at the Slytherin table, Crabbe, Goyle and Zabini had noticed that Draco wasn't there.

"Where's Harry?" Hermione asked. Ron looked around.

"Harry? HARRY!"

"OH NO! DRAKEY-POO! WHERE ARE YOU!"

Ron cringed. "Looks like Pansy's noticed her boy-toy's gone… he probably ran away… I mean, if I was betrothed to that… thing, I'd probably run away, too…"

Hermione put her hands on her hips. "We've got to find Harry!"

"Right, right… forgot about him…"

"RONALD!"

"I was joking, 'Mione! Joking! Jeez.. you muggle-born's are a nasty bunch, aren't you?"

"WHAT?"

"Nothing, nothing. Let's find Harry…"

Hermione glared at Ron, but ran out of the Great Hall all the same.

"HARRY! HARRY!"

Harry perked up. "Can you hear that?"

"No, idiot, I can't hear that annoying voice continuously shouting your name", Draco said sarcastically.

"Really? Do you think someone's put a Silencing Charm on the closet?"

"What? You idiot! I was being sarcastic!"

"Oh… well in that case… HERMIONE! RON! I'M IN HERE!"

"Ron, do you hear that?" Hermione asked. "I think Harry's in the broom closet!"

"So open it!" Ron said.

Hermione grabbed the doorknob, and turned it, but nothing happened. "It's locked."

"So unlock it."

"Right… well, I'll need to find Dumbledore or Filch or someone for the key…"

"…what? Why not just Alohamora it open, or something?"

"Oh, well you see… there was an incident in the toilets… and my wand got flushed down the toilet…"

Hermione was blushing by now, and Ron was just staring incredulously at her.

"While we're waiting, Malfoy…" Harry said, "Why did you pull me into the broom closet, anyways?"

"Well, I thought that if I was going to spontaneously combust, I should at least save one person so that we could restart the human race… I had been intending on a girl, but in my rush, I must've grabbed you, instead…" Draco said.

"…I see…"

"Now, what seems to be the problem, Miss Granger?" McGonagall asked.

"Well you see, Professor, Harry's locked in the broom closet, and I lost my wand during the toilet incident, and we need a key to open the door", Hermione said.

"And why didn't Ron just Alohamora it open?"

"Well, you see, Professor…" Ron started, "…it's like this… I was trying to play chess with the Whomping Willow, but it still hasn't forgiven me from second year, so it snapped my wand…"

"I see…"

"Y'know, Malfoy…" Harry said, but was interrupted by the broom closet door bursting open to reveal McGonagall, Hermione, Ron, Crabbe, Goyle, Zabini and a very worried looked Pansy. Draco jumped up, and ran out of the closet.

"FREE! I'M FREE! NO MORE HAVING TO TALK TO POTTER! FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Draco proceeded to speed down the hall, clicking his heels together every once in a while.

Harry shook his head and stood up. "Well that's something I never want to experience again…"

-author snorts- Yeah, right. Just remember who's the author here, buddy!

A/N – So, what did you think? Gay? Good? Needs more work? You tell me! Remember, your opinion counts! READ && REVIEW, PLEASE!