Author's Note: I don't own Percy Jackson & the Olympians. I have not finished the Heroes of Olympus series, I stopped after Mark of Athena and have decided to pick it up again but I don't remember anything so I'm re-reading, but I can't stand to have them mention Percy and him NOT BE THERE. I'm a sucker for awkward boys who said cute, nonsensical things, and thus this story was created. Fluff and horrible pick-up lines alert. I might expand this oneshot, if you guys want. But I need a response before I do that. Anything you recognize, I do not own.
Foot In Your Mouth
by: Setkia
"Sorry," he said quickly. "You're unnaturally pretty and I don't know how to deal with it." He reached out quickly and grabbed a glass from the counter, beginning to chug down its contents in order to shut himself up. And people wondered why he stayed home.
"Your hair curls like a princess'."
The girl gave him a strange look, her piercing grey eyes making him freeze.
"Sorry," he said quickly. "You're unnaturally pretty and I don't know how to deal with it." He reached out quickly and grabbed a glass from the counter, beginning to chug down its contents in order to shut himself up. And people wondered why he stayed home.
"I'm flattered," said the girl sounding a tad confused. "You're not so bad looking yourself."
"I would say I just threw this on, but I actually spent about two to three hours making sure I was a presentable mess rather than an undignified mess before going out."
"Honest. I appreciate it." The girl grinned, holding out her hand. "I'm Annabeth."
"Percy." He rocked on the soles of his feet. "Annabeth, huh? That's a … different name." And it was, he had never heard of anyone with that name before. "I don't suppose I can call you Annie?"
"You can," she said, her finger circling the rim of her glass, "if you don't mind dying young."
"I respect that." Percy nodded in her direction in a weird way of accepting the fact that Annie was not an acceptable title to address her by. "So long as you don't call me Perseus."
"And why would I call you that?"
"Because my mom loves Greek mythology and couldn't resist." Percy wanted to smack his head against the wall. What the hell was he doing?
The girl laughed. "I'm rather fond of Greek mythology myself. Ever heard of Athena?"
"Goddess of wisdom and battle strategy," Percy recited from memory. "Dammit, I'm letting my geek show."
"Your geek is always showing with the way you wear your hair," said Annabeth, nodding towards his head.
"What, you don't like?" Percy asked, his eyes lifting to his fringe as though he could somehow see his hair the way Annabeth saw it. He knew he should've gotten a different haircut.
"No, I like. It's .. cute."
"Cute how? Cute like that's cute and kind of adorable, I-kinda-wanna-run-my-fingers-through-it, or cute like how some girls find test tubes to be really cute?" Ananbeth raised an eyebrow at him. "Sorry, I get really anxious around beautiful women."
Annabeth snorted. "I don't think I've seen you around before."
"Probably not, my friend says I'm a introvert. I'm not, just sometimes other people tire me out. I don't spend all day playing on a PlayStation and chilling out to Netflix."
"Oh no?"
"Only half-days."
"And the rest of the day?"
"At the pool."
Annabeth raised an eyebrow. "You swim?"
"A bit."
"How much is a bit?"
Percy could feel himself loosening up a bit. She was surprisingly easy to talk to and somehow, his weird ramblings hadn't gotten him more than a weird stare. "Was captain of the swim team in high school, won a few competitions, have a few medals. Nothing major."
"Right … Are you trying to be humble here, cause it doesn't really sound like it."
"I think I'm trying to be humble but at the same time trying to impress you because as I said before, you're highly attractive. Did it work?" Percy blushed, feeling his entire face heating up. "Um … sorry."
"So why are you here?" She acted as though he hadn't just pathetically flirted with her and for that reason, he was grateful.
"My friend dragged me out. I don't really like loud music." Percy glanced over his shoulder. "Would you … I mean … do you wanna find some place quiet outside to talk? I swear I'm not going to rape you."
"Just what every girl wants to hear," Annabeth said with a grin. "Sure, Seaweed Brain."
"Great." Percy didn't even bother registering that she had just insulted him.
The two of them exited the club, the fresh air hitting their faces.
"So … We've only been talking about me. What about you? You mentioned a liking for Greek mythology?"
"Yeah," said Annabeth. "I have a great interest in reading and I'm kind of dyslexic. The myths made it worth the headache."
"I had this really great Latin teacher, he got us all really into it. Best grade I ever got was in his class. Still can't spell Prometheus though … I'm kinda dyslexic too." Percy shrugged. "Should I also confess to other things while I'm at it?"
"Like what?"
"Like that I have ADHD, enjoy eating blue food and like to pretend my pen is a sword?"
"How does that even work?"
"You sure you're not going to call me weird?"
"I already think you're weird. I don't think you can possibly do anything to convince me you're a normal person anymore, so you may as well lay all the cards on the table." Annabeth grinned. "Plus, I'm curious about what you'll come up with, Fish Boy."
"I think I preferred Seaweed Brain." Percy took out a ball-point pen from his front pocket. "See, if you hold it this way," he tilted his pen, "And then imagine a blade coming out, it's all pretty cool. I had way too much time during math classes and what not. I was pretty good in PE though …" Shut up, just shut up, what are you saying? You sound stupid and like the biggest nerd on he planet. "My pen is a sword"? What if she had taken that the wrong way?
"Hmm … Suppose I may as well spill some beans as well, while we're being honest. I have an interest in architecture, am horrifyingly and embarrassingly afraid of spiders, and I'm a huge lover of puzzles and mysteries." Annabeth was silent for a moment. "Perseus was the one who slayed Medusa, am I right?"
"You would be correct. He married Andromeda, a woman he found imprisoned on the rocks while going to bring down the king. He got a happy ending. My mother's a sucker for those."
"Are you a momma's boy?"
"And if I am?"
"I think it's cute."
"Cute like that's-adorable-he-acts-like-he's-four, or cute like that's-an-admirable-trait-of-a-man-who's-nearing-his-mid-twenties?"
"Can I get back to you on that one?"
Percy shoved his hands into his pockets awkwardly. "Well I've put a lot of effort into this conversation so if I were to suddenly find out you had a boyfriend or were married or something I would probably go home, cry into a pillow and then never be seen by anyone ever again, scarred for the rest of my life by a woman I hardly know from a run-down, dingy-looking bar that I've never been to before."
"Is that your not-so-subtle way of asking me if I'm single?"
"Maybe …"
"I am. Single. Best date I've ever been on is with Peeta, for about five hours until he got Hijacked."
"Ooh, Hunger Games fan then?" Percy laughed. "If I told you that if you needed a boyfriend, I volunteered as tribute, would you laugh in my face?"
"Probably."
"Oh. Well … good thing I didn't say that then …"
"Then I'd probably kiss you …"
"Really? Even if I'm basically a stranger whose last name you don't even know?"
"Yeah."
"Oh." Percy was silent for a moment. "If you need a boyfriend, I volunteer as tribute."
Annabeth rolled her eyes. "Moment's gone and over, but props to you for making a geeky pick-up-line like that naturally flow into a conversation."
"Is that enough props to get me a kiss?"
Annabeth kissed him lightly on the cheek. "I suppose. Gale would've been smoother though."
"You cold?"
"No, not really. You?"
"Absolutely freezing." Percy rubbed his arms, despite the fact that he was the one wearing the sweatshirt while she stood there wearing her plain orange top. He contemplated jumping jacks to get his blood flowing but then decided against it; he had made too much of a fool of himself tonight.
"So do you have a favorite god?"
"Huh?"
"You said you like Greek mythology too."
"Um … Poseidon's pretty cool."
"Natural enemy of Athena," Annabeth noted.
"Yeah, the whole Athens deal, right?" Percy shook his head. "No, I think it just has to do with my liking for water. And shouldn't technically Hephaestus be the natural enemy of Poseidon, being the god of blacksmiths and fire?"
"You know, I heard that Hera threw Hephaestus off Mount Olympus for being so ugly."
"Well that doesn't really solve the ugly problem, does it?"
"Would you still love your child if they were ugly?"
"Depends …"
Annabeth smacked him in the shoulder. It genuinely hurt.
"I was kidding, yeah, course. It's my kid right? Don't know how he came into existence since the last time I got any was like four years ago, but yeah, I'd love him. Maybe encourage some plastic surgery later on in life, but otherwise? Total doting father."
"Did you just confess to a lack of a sex life to a stranger?"
"We've been talking for like half an hour, I wouldn't call you a stranger, more like an acquaintance."
"Ooh, upgraded status."
"So … Are you a daughter of Hermes? Cause you stole my heart."
"That was almost as bad as your Hunger Games pick-up-line."
"I tried."
"I can tell."
"Sorry. Would you like to smite me down with Zeus' lightning?"
"You really are a Greek mythology nerd."
"Yeah, kinda. Sorry."
"No, it's okay. I like it."
They fell into silence. Percy was sure he was out of his league here. Sure, the girl hadn't shunned him horribly for those two horrible pick-up lines, but he knew it was just a matter of time before she rolled her eyes and went back inside. He hadn't realized he had been expecting everything to unfold like a cheap romantic comedy until it didn't and he felt disappointed.
Annabeth cleared her throat. "So … Percy, was it? What about you?"
"What about me?" He felt himself clam up. Don't screw this up, he told himself.
"Are you single?"
"Do I not look single enough to you?" Too late, you screwed up. She glanced at him, taking in his messed up dark hair and green eyes, his almost too big sweatshirt with the sleeves that were just long enough that he could hide his entire hand in them and his ripped jeans. "On second thought, don't answer that."
Annabeth grinned. "You didn't come here to get laid, did you?"
"Not really," Percy shrugged, leaning against a tree, hoping it would stop the light breeze from ruffling his hair any further and thereby making him even colder. "Believe it or not, guys think about more than sex."
"What are you thinking about right now?"
"What it would be like if you gave me a blowjob."
Annabeth smacked him again. It hurt.
"I was kidding," Percy said. "I was thinking … what would it take to get your number?"
"Forward aren't you?" she asked.
"Yup, that's me. Mr. Forward. To The Point Guy, no beating around the bush with me—"
"Percy?"
"Yes?"
"Shut up."
Percy nodded and tilted forward on his toes. He began to dig his foot into the ground, watching as he destroyed some ant hole and created a crater for the ants to hide from. One dead ant, two dead ants, he was pretty sure he had killed a family and by extension, a colony of the little buggers.
Annabeth's hair, which was pulled up in a ponytail, had several lose strands coming from it. Percy reached out to push them behind her ear but she turned her head away at the last moment. Percy tried not to be hurt.
"Sorry," she said.
Percy swallowed, ready to respond to her rejection with a crooked smile and tell her some lame joke, maybe throw in one last horrible pick-up line for good measure and then go on his way, cursing his friends for forcing him out of the house to get his heart broken by a girl who had managed to steal it within less than an hour, until she said—
"I don't have a cell phone, do you mind taking an e-mail address?"
Percy's head perked up immediately. "No, not at all." Yeah, cause that didn't sound desperate.
Annabeth grinned. "Could I have your phone?"
Percy nearly dropped his phone in his rush to get it out of his pocket and hand it over. Annabeth flipped it open and input her name and e-mail, before handing it back. "Nice doing business with you, Mr. Jackson."
Percy stared. "How—?"
"It's in your phone," Annabeth said.
"Annabeth! Where did you go? Thalia told me you went off with a suspicious looking guy!"
The two of them turned to see a girl with brown hair and kaleidoscope eyes, sighing when she saw Annabeth and beginning to run towards her.
"I'm not suspicious looking, am I?"
"A bit."
The girl finally got to them and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I've been looking for you everywhere— who's this guy?"
"That would be Percy, the suspicious guy," said Annabeth.
Almost immediately the girl blushed. "I am so sorry, was I interrupting something?"
"No, nothing," said Percy quickly. "I was just uh … going to go back inside," he lied. He should really work on that.
"What do you want Piper?" asked Annabeth.
"We can't find Leo, he went off somewhere, probably flirting with some other girl way out of his league," said Piper. "I'm sorry, I could leave you guys alone if you want …?"
Annabeth glanced at Percy as though asking him what he thought. "You should go," he said. "Can't lose a friend in the club, can you?" He wasn't going to force her to stay and besides, he had to recollect his wits and he couldn't do that with her there. Plus the fact that she even asked about his opinion meant a lot to him.
"Contact me, okay? We should hang out sometime," said Annabeth, giving him a smile and it left him standing shell-shocked and amazed. She had really white teeth.
"Yeah. Okay."
He watched the two girls walk away, Piper going on about how Annabeth had found herself a real hunk when Percy finally managed to move his body and jumped into the air, pumping a fist.
Maybe leaving the house wasn't such a bad idea after all.