A/N: First completed fanfiction ever! This was written for a good friend and an awesome RP buddy and SHOULD'VE BEEN FINISHED A MONTH AGO I'M SORRY. ;; Review/concrit and I will give you my undying love and supply of cookies. This actually came out more depressing than I wanted it to be initially... Also, I'm sure that I've heard "Cid's Garage" from some other place. If that line's a problem, let me know and I'll fix it right away.
Happy Late Birthday Starry!
EDIT: She wrote a sequel! :D Please check out And Time Stood Still by Starry-nights88, and take a look at everything else she's written once you're done~
EDIT2: And she wrote another one! ;; -forever grateful- Please take a look at the beautiful story Til the End of Time by Starry-nights88. Both sequels can be found in my favourites.
--
"He could just be a creeper."
Sora shot eyes from his sweating ice cream bar towards his brother beside him. "Since when do you even use words like that?" The brunet quirked a brow and smiled.
"Seriously, Sora," replied the blond, cheekful of sea salt and vanilla. "Just because someone makes a pass at you at summer school doesn't mean he's looking for anything serious. Ice cream's dripping, by the way."
"I know," whined the brunet, throwing his elbow at his bent kneecap and propping his chin in his palm. His feet swayed beneath him after the two settled themselves upon their beloved two-and-a-half foot brick wall they would usually talk upon once Sora's classes had finished. "But he just doesn't look like that kind of guy."
Roxas frowned, tearing his mouth away from the bottom of his own popsicle. "Cloud didn't look like the kind of guy to be gay, either," he retorted. "Look what happened." At one point their cousin had been the perfect businessman drone: strict, stone-faced, and unapproachable. However, said point had passed after Tifa, poor woman, had found him in the company broom closet half-undressed and clutching to a spiky brown-haired man with a pink scar across his face. Cloud was still unapproachable.
Roxas lifted his brother's popsicle-glazed hand in his and brought the droplets away from Sora's lap. "And I told you, it's dri—"
"I got it," Sora remarked, lifting his chin from the comfort of his palm and lapping at the treat. There was a comfortable pause while the two halved their ice creams. "But Roxas, I just know he's different."
"Uh-huh."
Sora pouted and blew a puff of air in his face. "Of course you don't believe me," he stated, common sense. "You're always fussing over me. May as well have mom move out. I'm a big boy now, Rox, 'n I can take care of myself." He grinned back at the blond.
"You can't exactly make good decisions on your own," Roxas replied, mirroring his brother's grin. "I've gotta make sure you don't screw up, 'cause we all know that hell happens when you do." A screw up—or, in layman's terms, a wrong turn that Sora had been warned of many times over, would end in Sora slamming himself in his room and the neighbors complaining about something similar to walrus cries coming from his side of the house. "I'm not the one who got thrown into summer school."
Sora passed a glare onto his brother as he lapped the salt from his lips. "That has nothing to do with him," he replied coyly. "I just hate math."
Roxas's grin held. "See?" He said. "If you made the decision to study or ask for help, you wouldn't have gotten stuck in there anyways."
The brunet paused, averting his glare towards the ground and chewing at the rest of his ice cream. Roxas got him there.
A few minutes passed, and the two downed the last of their ice cream bars and were suddenly on the subject of their plans for the weekend. With a trash can nearby, Sora tossed the forlorn popsicle stick up into the air and with a clang into the black trash bag as they began the walk back home. Roxas followed suit, only his struck the side and fell upon the ground nearby.
--
Roxas realized his feelings for his brother on the eighteenth of August the year before.
For water rationing purposes, the boys would bathe together. They had nothing to flaunt since they were twins, so if it cost less money and would buy the two of them time and warm water, there were no complaints. They'd done it since they were boys. It was all routine, and Roxas certainly didn't mind more time talking with his brother either.
Of course there had been trips and falls before; after all, their bathtub wasn't exactly spacious. Small bathtubs and soap were the epitome of slippery things. So there were the occasional injuries, but it happened rarely and they both learned to cope. "Sorry"s would be exchanged and they'd return to their bath.
That night took a turn. For worse or for better, Roxas didn't know.
A small slip ensued after Sora had returned to the tub with the soap he'd forgotten from the counter, and Roxas found himself crushed beneath the brunet with a splash. His head cracked against the tub, and he spent the next few moments groaning and massaging the growing bump. He could hear Sora cursing at his throbbing kneecaps. When the blonde had opened his eyes, he could further examine through blurred, blue vision that Sora had his eyes shut tight and his hands sprawled over Roxas.
And then Sora opened his eyes. They were wide and deep sea blue, but unlike the ones Roxas had seen in the mirror. They held an innocence that Roxas could see hovering two small inches from his face. Roxas's heartbeat was unfamiliarly erratic. Roxas took notice that Sora's body was pulsing, warm, gentle, tan; a stark contrast between Roxas's own porcelain-white skin. Neither of them moved a while. The uncomfortable silence was soon enough broken with Sora's uncomfortable laugh and uncomfortable sorry and the uncomfortable scrambling of bodies until they were untangled. Roxas left the bathtub first, sorry, he had a paper he needed to write. Sora waved it off, and for a moment they could be sure that it was just another trip and fall, an accident like every other time.
That's what Roxas told himself for the next two weeks. Sora returned to his boyish, smiling self, and Roxas was an internal mess. Sora was constantly on his mind. He considered the consequences of tripping his brother again at the bathtub, spending more time with him at lunch, keeping him away from Tidus who was getting too damned close to him. Despite such thoughts, none of them met reality.
Roxas's impulses were choked as soon as his brother caught his view. He kept his distance, and Sora's world kept on turning.
--
The night of September fourth would be when Roxas called Namine, a childhood friend. She asked about Roxas's sudden uneasiness around his brother. The conversation lasted a while behind locked doors and locked lips from ever speaking of this to anyone, Sora would think he was so weird. Namine softly confirmed his fears in a way she hoped wouldn't upset him. A pause, and then Roxas thanked his friend. She asked him if he was alright, and he answered, "yes, thanks Nam'," and closed his phone. For the next half hour, Roxas had his face in his hands, shit shit shit, until he was called for dinner.
--
A week passed since Roxas first heard about him and already the blond predicted that he wouldn't like this Riku guy. He was mentioned every which way Roxas went. Salvation would only be when Sora was out of the house or at school, and even then the blond would be miserable.
"We talked today! I dropped my pencil when I was going to my next class, and I was going to pick it up, and I guess he was too, because we bumped heads. So…"
"Roxas, I think Riku may even be as smart as you are! Me and Wakka were doing last night's homework before class started--… For your information, nobody does the homework right when they get home, unlike some people who don't have lives. Anyways, he came over and helped us out, and I think I really get it now, 'cause Riku said…"
Riku, Riku, Riku. Riku this, Riku that, Riku's hair is awesome, Riku can jump off the empire state building and live.
Despite his various complaints and hints, these proclamations of Sora's achievements with the silver-haired Grecian God would continue to bludgeon Roxas for the rest of the season and further, as he would soon find out.
--
As if hearing about him wasn't near enough, meeting the bastard would only solidify the blond's irritation into blunt dislike.
"Roxas," Sora began, shifting the strap of his book bag a little skeptically and raising a hand to introduce their newest classmate, "Riku. Riku, this's my brother, Roxas."
Riku apparently did not smile. He wore a placid look on his face and a distrusting look in aqua-coloured eyes. He was tall, about a head taller than them both with a broad build, hands in his blue plaid pockets. Roxas knew at first glance that he wouldn't like him.
"Nice meeting you," said Roxas with a deadpan look of his own, feeling his eyelids narrowing.
"Likewise," muttered the silver-haired, brother-stealing, egocentric fucker.
The brunet drew a straight line with his mouth and it was clear to Roxas that this wasn't the introduction he planned on having. "So I told you before I met him in summer school, Rox', and he just transferred here from his old school because it was small and shut down last year. So…" At that the bell rang, and you could guess they were all thankful, because Riku immediately whirled and started for the door, Roxas took off in a different direction, and Sora skidded himself back next to his newfound friend, unsure of what he was going to say after the 'so' anyway.
--
"You could've been a little nicer to him!"
"What? What'd I say that wasn't 'a little nice?'"
"N-No, Roxas, that's not what I'm saying! It wouldn't hurt tuh'—You could've at least tried a little harder to get along with him!"
"What was I supposed to say? 'Hi, my brother told me everything about you and how he thinks you can scale the Eiffel tower in ten seconds flat, but that shouldn't creep you out?'"
Sora breathed deep and pretended that he didn't hear the blond. Roxas thought it was adorable. "And you were giving him the Evil Eye! I saw! What'd he do, stand there and say one word to you and waste a precious two minutes of your time?!"
"Sora, how can you even trust a guy who looks at you like that? I don't think he likes me all that much either."
"That's just Riku! You just—Roxas, just try harder. He doesn't smile a lot, but he's not all that bad!"
"I'm going to bed."
"Roxas, c'mon!"
"Goodnight, Sora."
Roxas paused at the doorway to his brother's room, leaving Sora to plop himself on his bed and sigh at the blond. He turned to face the other with a teasing grin pulled on his lips. "You like him a lot, huh?"
Sora's face blurred in such a red that Roxas almost couldn't believe it. "No I don't!" He practically cried, gritting teeth. "I don't like Riku! What the heck, Roxas!"
Roxas's grin only broadened and he pulled the knob to the fuming brunet's room until the door clicked close behind him. He waltzed back into his room, locked his door behind him, dropped his grin and cursed and almost pulled out his hair while trying to work on his first AP Chemistry assignment of the long, long school year.
--
Heartache was a normal term for Roxas. Sora had various crushes, various chances, various ways to make Roxas worry and pray this was just another unmet dream. And praying seemed to work. Sora would come home with tears held back behind wide, red, puffy eyes and exclaim he was fine and make a break for his room before questions were asked. While it was probably cruel, along with Sora making a scene the blond found that he couldn't stop smiling. Both of them would spend a great amount of time in their rooms after that.
Heartache had nothing to do with what happened to Roxas while he was trudging through the snow-flit town on a Tuesday night with a handful of grocery bags. It was December twenty-third, and their family was gearing up for dinner. Their mother had forgotten something and politely asked Roxas to go and buy it for them. On this occasion Sora would tag along, but he was out that evening.
The town was hustling and bustling, cheery children and their mothers, Christmas lights strewn across street lamps, that guy dressed up in a Kris Kringle suit ringing a bell and asking for donations. All Roxas could hear was the solemn crnch, crnch of his boots on the snow gathered in the sidewalk. It was lonely and quiet without the chipper Sora at his side.
As he reached the edge of the town, everything had quieted and darkness was gathering on the fluffed, gray clouds that hung above him. White flakes danced into the air; one, two, twelve, all over. But while he was making a round to the corner in sight of their home, the snow stopped falling and the sound beneath his boots stopped resounding and then he realized he wasn't really walking or paying attention to the snow or his mom or the groceries any more.
Heartache had nothing to do with what happened to Roxas while he stood there, gripping onto his groceries for dear life and watching his brother with his eyes closed and his hands fisted into Riku's sweatshirt with Riku's hands at Sora's cheeks and Riku's lips on Sora's lips. There was no mistletoe above them, fuck fuck fuck.
Roxas could feel his heart split in two when all he wanted was it to stop beating altogether.
--
Christmas came, and Roxas hadn't changed from what Sora could see. He cracked jokes and teased Sora when he admitted that he and Riku were officially dating now, and yeah, he did like him a lot. As a bonus Christmas gift next to the new Struggle bat and the gift card to Cid's Garage, a popular video game store and Sora's favourite, Roxas promised better relations with his brother's newfound boyfriend. Sora left the underside of the Christmas tree satisfied and jolly with candy, toys and Christmas ham. Roxas would follow behind him.
And it stayed as such from then on.