You can decide who's POV this is in. It isn't mine.
Aaah... where to start. You wanna hear about them? Eh, kid? You really do?
Buy me a drink, and we'll talk. What? Oh, right, I'll talk. Just shut up and listen.
Everyone knows the Straw Hat group, righ'? Course they do. Everyone does. I just said that. Cuz it's not just that they're strong. We all know they're hella strong trainers and fighters and stuff. No, what you wanna hear is who they were. They weren't just faceless travelers, making their reputations with battles and blood and tears and sweat. They had their stories.
No one ever wanna hear flashbacks about them. All they care is about the fights. But you wanna hear, right?
Buy me another drink. Hmm, I guess I'll start with the self-proclaimed leader. Luffy D. Monkey.
-X-
What we all know 'bout Monkey was that he ate one of the Berries.
Whaddya mean, you forgot about the Berries? You know, the ones that give you powers that you can't even imagine. Not Morphs. Those are different.
Anyways, Monkey ate the Aipom Berry. Gave him a tail, with a big fat fist and everything. It even stretched, which was kinda weird since Aipoms don't normally stretch like rubber.
It only suited that the Aipom boy would have an Aipom. Wasn't his, though. It was Shanks. You know, legendary Master Shanks, one o' the greatest trainers in the world. Why he entrusted a kid with his Aipom, we'll never know.
The thing's name was Hat, probably cuz of that straw hat the thing always wore. Luffy D. Monkey treasured that Aipom (and its hat) like it was his kid, blood and soul. Didn't have any other pokemon on his team, either, it was just him and Hat. Aipom boy and Aipom. Idiot and idiot.
I forgot to mention he was an idiot. Now you know.
You know how the warring tension 'tween the humans and pokemon were stirring, right? Kyogre woke up, uhhh, lemme see, twenty years before Luffy came up in the world, which stirred Groudon and Rayquaza and eventually about every damn Legendary there was. That was the breaking point of the Age of... of...ah, screw it, I can't remember the name.
Something about... something.
I got no idea how it goes with th' story. Deal with it.
-X-
Zoro Roronoa; where to begin. Where to begin. Well, he had green hair. That's a start, righ'?
It was weird, cuz he was the only one of that Straw Hat group who was aiming to be one of the Masters, while everyone else was just off dreamin' their own dreams. I'll get to that later.
Funny thing, all his pokemon 'cept for Shuusui were green like his hair. Ha ha, funny, right? Alright, alright, I'll lay off the jokes.
No one knew where that man came from. He was just- poof- there! Started as nothing but a little brat with a Ralts he tried to teach Attacks, not Special Attacks, and he became a re-pu-table trainer with... heh, green pokemon.
Okay, 'kay, I'll stop jokin' around!
Anyways, that puny Ralts, it was called Kitetsu. Eventually became a beastly Gallade, it did. But that wasn't the star of Roronoa's team.
It was Wado. Wado the Sceptile.
See, Roronoa wasn't the only brat with a dream to be a Master. There was this girl, with a Treecko. The Treecko kicked that Ralt's ass plenty of times, then whaddya know, the girl went and died on the green-haired kid. So Roronoa claimed that Treecko as his own and went off to travel, training and training till his pokemon shoulda hated him, but weird thing was, they stayed loyal and steadfast. Weirdass pokemon, they were.
Yubashiri the Scyther was a special case. Zoro musta caught him some point and quickly integrated him inta his team of three, so they were all... green.
Ah! Don't hit me, idiot! I'll stop with the green jokes, 'kay?
But... that Scyther, Yubashiri, it was killed by one of those WG grunts. Heard bits and pieces of that grunt's body is still scattered a mile across Route 21. Then to fill in the void Yubashiri left, Roronoa defeated 'nother aspiring trainer and took that Absol, Shuusui, as his prize.
Yeah, that bastard won the Absol from that other bastard.
Roronoa 'ventually just caught up with Aipom boy and tagged along. Then, just as quickly, they got two more trainers with them.
-X-
If you wanna find stuff lying 'round trails, get there before Nami does. That miss and her two pokemon can sweep an entire Route clean of every berry (no, not Berry, berry) and nugget there is.
Course, that's what Meowth and Sableye are made for. Finding shiny things.
Nami liked money. She never battled for cash prize; she stole. See, those two pokemon o' hers weren't made for battling, they were made for stealth and thieving. Nami was just as quiet when it came to pickin' wallets and Pokegear and Poketechs and whatever else happened to be in an available pocket.
See, when she was a kid, she lived with an ex-WG executive who decided ta settle down and run a Shuckle farm. Pretty darn good Shuckle, too, best Berry Juice around.
No, not those Berries, just regular berries. Shuckle berry- ah, forget it.
Then these Morphs-
You don't know Morphs, either? What kinda moron are ya? Okay, Morphs are half human, half pokemon. No one knows how they came 'ta be. Formed their own little legion against humans, and course naturally they sided with pokemon. Got it? Don't ask stupid questions like that again.
This Sharpedo Morph, Arlong, he killed that ex-WG executive and took little Nami and her baby Meowth and toddling Sableye. Didn't care for her stepsister. No one remembers Nojiko, anyways. No one does, poor thing.
That Sharpedo guy made Nami map out regions for him, seeing as he wanted ta know where human cities and towns were so he could crush 'em bit by bit with his bigass jaws. Nami was a darn good mapper, too, besides being one helluva thief. Huh, musta forgotten to mention it earlier.
Aipom boy and green-hair guy eventually saved her. Zoro sent his three beastly poke-mens after the other Morphs that hung 'round Arlong. The mutants never stooda chance. It was actually Luffy Monkey who beat Sharpedo Arlong by himself, with his stretchy tail and weird powers.
Funny thing was, Luffy Monkey was a better fighter than his Aipom. Doesn't normally work that way, huh?
-X-
You know how there's a bigass river system in this region, right? Yeah, it's easiest to travel by water than ta walk round all those criks. But, see, those three (Aipom boy, green man, thief girl) didn't have a Gyarados or Blastoise or any water pokemon to travel by. And those morons didn't even use pokeballs, so there was that crappy issue of keeping their, uh, one two three six pokemon withem.
'Specially since Meowth n' Sableye liked wandering off to pick up stuff.
Of all the Straw Hat group travelers, Usopp's the underdog. Forgotten. Smothered b'neath the shining glory of Monkey and the other more special peeps.
See, Usopp was a normal kid. Didn't have weird Berry powers, or funny hair, or a bitch complex, or crazy strong pokemon. He was just a kid with a long nose and lying habit. Seedot and Phanpy weren't anything special, not even when Seedot evolved to Nuzleaf and learnta use all sortsa weird moves like Gunk Shot. How many Nuzleaf you know that can use Gunk Shot?
Oh, even the Phanpy. That Phanpy knew crazy ass attacks, like that one Usopp made up. You know, the exploding Apricorns. Oh man, those were awesome. Twas even more awesome when it evolved into one hell of a Donphan.
Usopp wanted to be a trainer, see, but problem was he needed to take care o' Kaya, sick girl. I mean, she was sick. Really sick. Probably had Pokerus or somethin'.
Oh... right, humans can't get Pokerus. Never mind.
Then some WG conspirator, Kuro, tried ta kill 'em all with his Skarmory. Damn Skarmories, who uses those things anyways?
Yeah, so Monkey, Roronoa, and Nami helped Usopp beat that guy out with hardly any trouble. And the prize of their oh so hard efforts?
A Lapras. That's right, a motha fuckin Lapras. You know how rare those things are? Heh, yeah, I thought they were extinct too. Apparently sick Kaya's butler was raising it since it hatched from a wee little egg. Named it Merry, the cute thing.
So Usopp finally got his dream to go and be a trainer. Kaya, methinks she got better. Can't be too sure, rumors vary. Mebbe she died, mebbe someone else went to care for her.
Usopp and his crazy ass long-nosed pokemon deserved more fame than they got. No one knows that he's the one who convinced his buddies to use pokeballs for the sake o' convenience. Though Monkey technically couldn't, since Shanks still had Hat's pokeball. But it made things easier, so they four could ride on Merry's back down the rivers (an' they only got Merry cuz of Usopp). Made traveling faster, that was for sure.
All thanks to Usopp. Ya hear that, kid? Give the longnosed liar some applause. I can't hear you, clap harder.
-X-
Oh man, Sanji, Sanji, that Sanji. Ladies man, hopeless romantic, weird curly eyebrow. You know him? Course ya do, everyone does. Everyone knows them all.
Y'know his two pokemon too, right? Yeah, Red and Hitmonlee. Those two kickers.
Here's something y'probably didn't know- Red wasn't Sanji's pokemon. Yeah, don't believe me? Listen up.
Retired Master Zeff taught Sanji. That's right, the Zeff, owner of the Baratie, that old geezer, he was the original trainer of Red. Red-hot Red, that blazing Blaziken. See what I did there? Pun...
Don't give me that glare! I'm trying to lighten up the mood! Buy me another drink.
Red was justa Combusken when Sanji was a kid. Hitmonlee was a Tyrogue. Wasn't much of a fighter, but they were training.
It was a WG ship, I think, that attacked Zeff's cruiser. Sanji happened to be somewhere in the mess... my memories ain't so clear, so just move along witheh story.
Anyways, Sanji ended up with Zeff. Trained a hell lot in between cooking lessons. Tyrogue evolved into that kickass Hitmonlee that always fought with Zoro's Kitetsu (Gallade, case you forgot you moron). Funny thing, I should mention, Red absolutely hated Wado's guts. Their pokemans never got along. Kinda reflected Sanji and Roronoa's intense rivalry.
Sanji ended up with the Straw Hat group only after they helped old man Zeff fend off some WG guys tryin' ta burn down the Baratie. Said he needed to go off on his own, find the Blue Lake. Yeah, that lake, the one tha' doesn't exist but supp-o-sedly is home to every sort of Water pokemon from Squirtle to Manaphy.
Yeah, that crazy bastard still b'lieved the lake wasn't blown up by th' WG yet. So Zeff sent Red to look after the kid and Hitmonlee.
If you ask me, Sanji tagged along just cuz he liked Miss Nami. Who knows?
-X-
Now we come to the Morph of the group, Chopper Tony. Don't ask me why his name's Chopper. I don't know either.
Like a lotta Morphs, he couldn't fit in with humans or pokemon. Tis probably why lotsa Morphs go bad, slaughtering anything that gets in their way. I mean, lookat Sharpedo Arlong.
Lucky for him, an old man didn't give a damn that Chopper was a Morph and took him in as a son of some weird kind.
Eh? You forgot what pokemon Chopper was? You moron, he was part Teddiursa. Remember now? Looks like a little kid with a hair growth issue. Plus that fuzzy pink hat he never takes off.
Yeah, he could also turn into Ursaring and Stantler. Crazy old doctor helped him think up all sortsa ways to mess and experiment with his pokemon half. Was a good thing they were both genius-like, or else Chopper mighta ended up as a pile o' goop or something.
Then, course, the WG went and killed old man Hiruluk. WG's always to blame for shit like that. Don't need reasons to kill, they jus' do.
It's weird, cuz Teddiursa Chopper got stuck with another old geezer. This time, a witch named Kureha. Naw, she wasn't literally a witch, you moron.
Lotta people say Chopper was miserable with her. I dunno. He always looked cheerful on th' telly.
'Sides, he learned how to fight for himself, at least. Yeah, he didn't know how to even throw a punch before Aipom boy found him. Speaking of Aipom boy, the whole group thought the Morph was a riot. Weird people, I know. Chopper was weirded out, too, but he joined to learn more 'bout the world or somethin' like that.
And, predictably, the WG people returned to finish the job. I don't know the details, don't ask me! Sheez!
It's a damn pattern, in case you couldn't tell. Luffy D Monkey and Hat the Aipom really set a reputation, beating up WG officials like that all over the place (even made the WG wanted list). Chopper showed what he could really do with artificial Berries he made. Heard he could turn into a freaking Tauros.
Makes me kinda wish I could do stuff like that, too. Heheh, chill, I'm just kidding.
-X-
Twas probably Robin Nico who really made the Straw Hat group a threat to th' WG. She was one o' the last Psychics, if not the last.
In case you can't remember, the story goes that she lived in Ohara. That's right, Ohara. Home of the Psychics and where humans and pokemon lived in peace. The Psychics, y'know, the people with extrasensory abilities? Yeah, those ones. I dunno if they count as Morphs. They look human enough. They probably had their own category species whatever before they were wiped out.
Hey, you know what an Alakazam is? How 'bout Metagross? No? They're the two smartest things to have ever walked this damn earth. Smarter than people, smarter than the WG (but then, even Slowpoke are smarter than those bastards) and smarter than you and me and your mommy. You get it.
Now, how 'bout I tell you that Miss Robin had both species with her?
So now you figured out that Ohara was a real smart place. But, ah, the WG didn't like that. They thought they were a threat. Threat to what? I have no fuckin idea why. It's the WG, y'can't expect to know their reasons.
So anywho, the WG figured that the best way to fix the problem was to kill every single Psychic and wipe out all the Psychic type pokemon to go withem. How did they do this? With lotsa firepower. No, not with pokemon, the WG thinks they're better than 'em. Weapons. Weapons. Yeah, weapons.
Now, you woulda thought that the Oharan Psychics would be smart enough to just fight back. I thought so too. No one has a fucking clue how the Oharan Psychics got exterminated by the moronic WG. They jus' did. Probably the same way how big time Master Roger Gol got killed.
Yeah, and just so happened that lil' Nico was the only survivor, with Abra and Beldum right alongside 'er. It was the other Psychics, I think, that passed the baby pokemans on ta her 'fore they burned in the flames. Che, but they couldn't even save themselves...
Twas a sad story. Shows how much the WG is determined to destroy all pokemon. Didn't help that Lugia sank a few WG-run islands, too.
Short story is, Miss Robin kinda joined the Straw Hat group on her own. Just got away from Crocodile, Tyranitar Berry user who liked drowning people in sand. Lady didn't really show off Metagross or Alakazam, either. She liked using her Psychic powers, to break people. Literally, I mean. Probably to protect the two pokemans, anyways.
Remember Merry the Lapras? Well, she died saving the Straw Hats. WG finally caught up ta Robin and tried to kill her and the Metagross and Alakazam she raised and protected fer twenty years. Aipom boy, Roronoa, Nami, long nose, Sanji, and Teddiursa Chopper had a helluva time tryin' ta get her back. Heard Meowth and Sableye even fought, too.
Yeah, so Merry just gottem across th' river away from the WG base before she just died. Sad, possibly the last Lapras died right then.
In case you didn't know, Miss Nico did not die. Seven of'em just went on walking along th' rivers. Long nose Usopp probably took Merry's death hardest.
-X-
There were three Morphs with th' Straw Hats. Twas rare 'nough that there'd be a group bigger than five walkin' together, but three Morphs, a freaking Psychic, four humans, and a Berry user was jus' plain weird.
One o' the Morphs was Franky. Part Electivire, all muscle. Guy could pick up a Wailord, probably.
Speaking of Wailord, they got a new water pokemon to carry 'em across th' big fat rivers. Sunny the Wailord was pretty small fer a Wailord, mind ya, but 'twas big enough t'carry them. Electivire Franky raised it from a teeny lil Wailmer himself.
Franky actually use'ta live wi' three other Morphs, actually. Big fat jolly Swampert Tom, crazy Dewgong Kokoro, and... oh, wait, Iceberg wasn't a Morph, never mind.
Yeah, three Morphs an' a human livin' together? Obviously the WG bastards would do somethin' bout it. And by somethin', I mean beat the shit outta Swampert Tom and kill him. Dunno how Dewgong Kokoro gottaway, but she did. Iceberg was spared for whatever reason, and Franky... ah, he was never th'same.
I mean, he jus' lost a few body parts. That's all.
Don't gimme that look! He lived, didn't he?
Fixed himself right up with hardly any trouble. Got a new arm, new leg, new hair... yeah, you r'member the hair... pretty much upgraded himself wi' random scraps from dead Steel pokemon and human machinery 'till he hardly even resembled a Morph. Or human. Not that he did in the beginning, anyways...
Methinks he ran off after Swampert Tom kicked the bucket, leavin' Dewgong Kokoro and Iceberg to hide from the WG. Nice, huh? Well, was better that way. WG thought Franky was dead, twas smarter t'keep it that way. Know what I'm sayin'?
'Long the way, Electivire Franky found Machamp and Magmortar. Thought Morphs couldn't train pokemon? Techn'cally no. They train together, thas' what makes trainer Morphs different from human trainers. Three o' them made a pretty kickass team, beatin' up random WG grunts along the way.
Sunny? Nah, she didn't fight. Wailords don't fight much, anyways. They like, uh, sunbathing? I dunno.
You know how the rest goes. Electivire Franky, Machamp, Magmortar, and Sunny the Wailord met up wi' Aipom boy's troupe, battled, lost, then tagged along. Pretty much th' generic story- how everythin' goes in the trainer world.
-X-
So you wanna know more about Morphs, eh? Well, Normal types are mos' common, seein' as the WG thinks they're th' least dangerous. Ghosts, Dragons, Psychics, Steels, thos're the more rare ones.
Mind ya, Psychic Morphs and Psychic humans are different things. Morphs aren't Berry users like Aipom boy, that's different too. Figure all tha' shit out yourself.
Dusknoir Brook, he was one o' those rare Ghost Morphs. Special thing about Ghost Morphs is that they get two lives. Jus' two. So when the WG killed Brook firs' time (set him on fire and stabbed his eye wi' a blade), he just got back up and flew away.
'Ventually met up with Gengar Moria and his crazy troupe o' Berry users and Morphs alike. Gengar Moria, asshole! Ah... right, you probably don' know him. Died a while ago, anyways.
Gengar Moria took Brook (haha, rhyme) inta his lil' group, seein' as he was a fellow Ghost Morph. But thing was, Dusknoir Brook didn't like killin' humans. Fought against Moria's rules 'bout Morph life and got on his bad side. Got a nasty Curse laid on him too.
Something you didn't know- Dusknoir Brook would've lost his last life if Luffy didn't show up ta kick Gengar Moria's ass before that Curse completely killed Brook.
Twas supposeta be impossible fer a runt like Aipom boy to be ableta hurt a Ghost Morph.
Ahaaah, friendship. Cliche, ain't it? But that's what gottem through. Cooperation, teamwork, that's what made the Straw Hat group special from th' rest o' the trainers out there.
And Dusknoir Brook fit right in with the rest o' the freaks.
-X-
So, now y'know the whole story. Thanks fer the drinks, kid.
None o' your business as to how I know all this stuff.
You wanna know where the Straw Hat group is now? Hell if I should know. Tis been a while since anyone's seen 'em- they just disappeared after Roronoa beat Master Mihawk in a pokemon battle at the Indigo Plateau (yeah, that place) and claimed the title.
Methinks they're going after th' legendaries to calm em down, bring a little peace to this damn world. Kyogre already sank Enies Island and Heatran's been blowing volcanoes to hell wi' Groudon. Jeezus if we'll survive if Arceus wakes up. We're lucky 'nough that Palkia and Dialga hasn't done nuthin' yet. Yet.
Ah, screw you. I ain't being cynical.
... Yeah, guess you could say that. That the weirdass Straw Hat group is tryin' to save the world from chaos and death.
Eh, but that shit only happens in legends.