TITLE: I'll Take an Ignite-Pass on the Fan Fiction, Thank you!
DESCRIPTION: The characters of 'Kuroko no Basuke' have their first experience with KnB fan fiction! A talk-show setting where the characters openly complain about -er- comment on just what the Internet has to offer!
The place in the timeline of the story is... I don't know at what point, but they have met Yosen... That's all I can say! :P Any spoilers here are unintentional! I'm sorry!
GENRE: Tragedy- Psych! Obviously it's Humour/Parody! [Not for the characters, perhaps...]
DISCLAIMER: I do not own 'Kuroko no Basuke', or any of its (literally) colourful characters. If I did, the manga/anime would be of a very different kind... Yes, a different kind indeed...
WARNING: Mature content including, but not limited to, bad language, sexual implication/references, possible violence, adult themes
Also, I Should probably put up a warning for possible OoC-ness!
Notes for reading:
Character speech is indicated like this = CHARACTER1: Blah blah blah.
Thoughts = CHARACTER1: 'Thinking thinking thinking.'
Actions/ 'video playback' = [doing something or describing something]
Also, a few Japanese phrases are used here and there, since most of what I said, I could imagine the characters speaking or acting.
First Segment: Introductions!
|[O]|[O]|[O]|
INK: Hello, everyone! Welcome to a special interview! I'm your host, InkOfThePearl, and today we at FanFictiondotnet have a few special guests with us! Can you guess who they are...? Saa, everyone, please introduce yourselves!
AOMINE: Ha? Aren't you the host? Isn't it your job to do that?
MOMOI: Aomine-kun! Is that the first thing you say? That is too rude!
MIDORIMA: That is indeed impolite...
MOMOI: See? Thank you, Midorin-
MIDORIMA: -But I have to agree: the host is not very good at this, is she?
INK: ...eh?
TAKAO: Hahaha, sorry, Host-san! Don't worry about him! He wouldn't be here if he wasn't interested in participating—
MIDORIMA: That's a lie! I'm only here because Oha-Asa said the presence of a Scorpio would bring luck. I have no idea why you would agree to this farce—
AOMINE: What I don't understand is why these losers are here...
KAGAMI: Oi, were you looking at us when you said that?!
AOMINE: Heh
KAGAMI: -!
IZUKI: Oh boy...
KISE: Calm down, Kagamicchi!
MOMOI: That's right. And Aomine-kun, please try to take more effort into this!
AOMINE: Hmm, whatever. Now that I'm here, might as well get some sleep. Oi Satsuki, wake me up when it's over...
HYUUGA: ...Is he for real?
KASAMATSU: Seems so...
KAGAMI: Arrgh! That arrogant sonofa- Gah!... Kuroko! That hurt!
KUROKO: You're getting to excited, Kagami-kun. This is just a talk-show.
INK: Aah!... Geez, you scared me...!
KAGAMI: Tch... Right...
KUROKO: Aomine-kun and Midorima-kun, too. Though it's obvious no one wants to be here—
INK: Hey!
KUROKO:-we should do this for our fans.
KISE: That's right...
INK: ...Ok. Since everything seems to have settled...
INK: Firstly, I would like to thank everyone from "Kuroko No Basuke" for taking time to do this! We fans really appreciate it! So (if everyone is fine with it) shall we begin with a self-introduction? Let's start with Kuroko-san and Team Seirin!
KUROKO: Alright. Good day, everyone. I am Kuroko Tetsuya. I play as No. 11 in the Seirin High School basketball team. Pleased to meet you. [Bows]
KAGAMI: I'm No.10, Kagami Taiga. Nice to meet ya -uh- you!
HYUUGA: Hyuuga Junpei. Seirin's No.4; SG and captain.
KIYOSHI: Mah, Hyuuga, that's a bit cold, isn't it?
HYUUGA: Well, what do expect me to say? I've never done this sort of thing before!
KIYOSHI: But it's just talking! Here, I'll show you: Hello! I'm Seirin's No.7 and centre, Kiyoshi Teppei! If you take the "ki" from "tree and the "kishi" from "great luck" and you get Kiyoshi! Then if you take the "testu" from "iron barbell" and the "hira" from "lower employee", you'll get Teppei—(1)
HYUUGA: That's way too long, idiot!
RIKO: [sighs] Quit it both of you... I'm Aida Riko, coach for Seirin. Nice to meet you.
IZUKI: I deduce it's my turn to introduce. Hello, I am Izuki Shun. I play as No.5 for Seirin.
KOGANEI: Oh! Tsucchi! We're here too!
TSUCHIDA: ...I won't comment on how you thought we wouldn't be or how surprised you sound... Anyway, I'm Tsuchida Satoshi. Nice to meet you all.
MITOBE: ...
KOGANEI: Oh! Mitobe, you say that you're shy?
EVERYONE ELSE: 'He didn't say anything at all..!'
KOGANEI: Yosh! I'm Koganei Shinji! And this guy next to me is Mitobe Rinnosuke! We're happy to be here!
INK: Ok, that was Seirin!—
FURIHATA, FUKUDA & KAWAHARA: We haven't introduced ourselves yet!
INK: Heheh whoops! Sorry guys! Go ahead.
MIDORIMA: Hmm. Like I said...
KAWAHARA: I'm Koichi Kawahara. First year at Seirin High.
FUKUDA: I'm Fukuda Hiroshi! Same!
FURIHATA: I'm Furihata Kouki, here! Also first year!
FURIHATA, FUKUDA & KAWAHARA: Thanks for having us!
INK: Hmm, so that's everyone, right?
TETSUYA #2: Woof!
MOMOI, RIKO, INK & KISE: Awwww... Cuuute~!
INK: Eh? Kise-san, too?
KAGAMI: Gack! Damn!
MOMOI: Dai-chan, stop pretending to sleep! I saw you smiling just now!
KUROKO: I'm sorry, but he must have gotten out of the dressing room. Is it alright if I keep him with me? He won't cause a disturbance.
INK: Y-yes! Absolutely! Now where were we...? Ah, that's right! We have a few other people from other schools as well! Guys, if you would please?
KISE: Finally! Hello, everyone out there! I'm Kise Ryouta from Kaijou High. I'm their No. 7, and sort of their ace, what, with my amazing copying abilities! And here with me is my even more amazing senpai—ow! Senpai~!
KASAMATSU: Just give a regular introduction!
KISE: You didn't have to kick me~! ...Could it be, Senpai, that you are shy around—Hagh!
KASAMATSU: You're too noisy! Have some respect for your senpai and the people around you!
EVERYONE ELSE: 'You're shouting too...'
KASAMATSU: [sighs] This arrangement is a bit strange to me. I'm not sure why I'm here either. Especially with this idiot—
KISE: So meeeaan!
KASAMATSU: ...But since there are others, and this seems to be for the fans... Hello. I'm Kasamatsu Yukio, captain of the Kaijou High School basketball team. Pleased to meet you.
INK: Ok, thank you Kaijou! Moving on, we have... Shuutoku High!
TAKAO: Yes~! Shuutoku basketball club's No.10, Takao Kazunari, here with our ace shooter, Shin-chan!
MIDORIMA: If you are going to introduce me, do it properly! My name is Midorima Shintaro. Though I am forced to be here, do not think for a moment I would actively participate in this.
INK: ...Okaaay... Well, hopefully, Midorima-san will warm up to us as we go on!
MIDORIMA: Highly doubtful.
TAKAO: Aw, come one Shin-chan! I know deep down your excited to see all your friends again.
MIDORIMA: These people are not my friends. And even if they were, "all" of them are not here.
KISE: Eh? ... Midorimacchi is right! We're still missing Murasakicchi and Akashicchi!
INK: Unfortunately, Akashi-san informed us that he was unable to make it! Sorry everyone... But we do have Murasakibara-san on set with us!
HIMURO: Ah, I'm so sorry for being late. Atsushi said he was hungry and got us lost on the way back from the cafeteria.
INK: ...There's a cafeteria?
KAGAMI: Oh, Tatsuya!
HIMURO: Taiga! We meet each other again. It's been a while.
KAGAMI: You're doing this talk-show-thing too?
HIMURO: Appears so. I was invited, but I was reluctant to. Then Atsushi said he wanted to go and dragged me along.
HYUUGA: Oh? Murasakibara did?
MURASKAIBARA: Dzey gold mmn dagth drhrl me foofst.
EVERYONE ELSE: What?
KOGANEI: Mou, he just said "They told me that there'll be food."
EVERYONE ELSE: 'How did you understand that!?'
MIDORIMA: Murasakibara. Don't talk with your mouth full.
MURASAKIBARA: Goh? Mego-cheng...
KOGANEI: [in a deep voice, mimicking Murasakibara] "Oh? Mido-chin..."
MIDORIMA: ...What did I just tell you?
KASAMATSU: Um, Tatsuya-san...was it?
HIMURO: Oh, I'm sorry, I haven't introduced myself yet. I'm Himuro Tatsuya; first year. I play for Yosen High School. Pleasure. And this is my partner, Atsushi.
KISE: Oh, we've heard of you! But we haven't gotten a chance to play Murasakichi's Yosen properly yet.
INK: So that was Yosen... Next is Touou Academy! Thanks for coming out!
MOMOI: It's fine! I'm so happy that I got a chance to meet Tetsu-kun! [glomps]
OTHERS OF SEIRIN: 'Die, Kuroko!'
KASAMATSU: "Testu-kun"?
HYUUGA: Yes, apparently she's Kuroko's ex from back at Teikou.
KASAMATSU & KIYOSHI: Really?
HYUUGA: Kiyoshi, why are you surprised?
KIYOSHI: Sorry, I honestly didn't know. Wow, Kuroko is really luck-
RIKO: Argh, just continue with the interview!
MOMOI: Oh, do I sense a little jealousy, Miss Barely-B?
RIKO: ... [vein pops]
IZUKI: Uh oh...
IMAYOSHI: Now, now, Momoi. As much as I love to rile up lil' Seirin over here, we came here for a reason.
HYUUGA: [vein pops]...What did you call us? "Lil' Seirin"...?
IMAYOSHI: Hello everyone, I'm Touou's captain, Imayoshi Shoichi. Nice ta meet'cha
HYUUGA: Hey! Don't just ignore me!
MOMOI: Ah, that's right! I'm Momoi Satsuki, manager for Touou Academy's basketball club. Nice to meet you all!
RIKO: Hey! Don't just ignore me!
IMAYOSHI: And with us is—
MOMOI: Dai-chan, wake up already! It's your turn...
AOMINE: Hn... [Yawns] What are you going on about? ... Eh. Murasakibara's here? And there's...
HIMURO: Aomine-san, is it? I'm Himuro Tatsuya.
KAGAMI: Oi, Tatsuya, don't bother with him. He's a good player, I'll admit, but he's not worth the time.
AOMINE: Says the idiot who keeps following me.
KAGAMI: Following? All I was trying to do was get you to play one-on-one with me! And don't call me an idiot, Idiot!
AOMINE: Aomine Daiki. Heard somewhere you're Bakagami's brother? My condolences.
KAGAMI: [vein pops] Hey! Don't just ignore me! Ahomine!
AOMINE: When you got something interesting to say, sure, then I'll start listening.
KAGAMI: Grrr-!
KISE: Whoa Kagamicchi looks angry, like a wild animal!
IZUKI: The "tiger" references never quite get old, do they?
RIKO: So many strong players in one room! Don't you just wonder what's going to happen?
KASAMATSU: It looks like a fight is about to start...
TAKAO: Hahaha! This is too good!
KUROKO: Excuse me, Host-san.
INK: GAAH! Stop vanishing and reappearing like that!
KUROKO: But I've been here the whole time. Anyway I think you should step in as the host right about now.
INK: Ah! Right! Everyone calm down! I had gathered everyone for a reason after all...
MIDORIMA: ...I have an ominous feeling... I should have bought the larger version of this elephant...
MURASAKIBARA: Un..? Uwah... That looks tasty. Pink like falooda... (2)
MIDORIMA: -! [steps back]
MURASAKIBARA: Faaallloooddaaa...! [gives chase]
KIYOSHI: Is that a battle cry?
KOGANEI: Sounded more like a zombie...
IZUKI: Follow the falooda!
HYUUGA: Izuki, shut it!
IMAYOSHI, KISE & TAKAO: [laughing]
HYUUGA: Don't encourage him!
HIMURO: Um, pink elephant...?
TAKAO: [tries to catch breath] Hah... That's Shin-chan's lucky item for today. Oha-Asa recommended something pink and exotic, hence the porcelain Indian elephant. He's quite superstitious about these things.
MOMOI: That's our Midorin! Some people never change, like –Ah! Aomine-kun fell asleep again! ... oh? Now that I remember. Isn't Himuro-san also a Scorpio?
HIMURO: ? Yes I am. How did you..?
KISE: That's Momocchi's specialty: gathering information on all opponent players. You're rather new to the scene, but Yosen might want to watch out for her if they ever play Touou!
HIMURO: Duly noted. But what does my star sign have to do with anything?
TAKAO: Shin-chan also strongly believes in horoscopes, you see.
HIMURO: ...Honestly, that doesn't explain anything...
MIDORIMA: [appears, adjusting glasses] What it means is—
TAKAO: Gah! Shin-chan acquired Kuroko's powers!
KOGANEI: No! What if he got Kise's skill and copied Kuroko's!?
KISE: Eh? He has three unique abilities then?!
MIDORIMA: ...What it means is that, as Oha-Asa predicted, Scorpios will attract good fortune for Cancers today. Your presence will aid me well. Takao, you are no longer needed.
TAKAO: So cold, Shin-chan! And after all I did...!
HIMURO: I still do not understand...
KAGAMI: Oi, Midorima! Stop harassing my brother.
MIDORIMA: Hmph. This doesn't concern you, Kagami.
MIDORIMA: -!
TAKAO: Hm? Shin-chan?
MIDORIMA: ...Takao... Himuro-san and Kagami both lived in America for much of their childhood, yes?
TAKAO, HIMURO & KAGAMI: Yeah... What of it?
MIDORIMA: What colour is Yosen's uniform?
KISE: It's pink and white with a little black, last time I checked. But Kaijou's signature blue is way more-! Ouch! Senpai~!
MIDORIMA: ...It had been decided. This encounter is one of fate!
EVERYONE: Huh?
MIDORIMA: The sign of the Scorpio, the pink from Yosen, and the exotic factor of coming from another far-away country!
TAKAO, KISE & MOMOI: ... [gasp, and look toward Himuro] HE'S THE ULTIMATE LUCKY ITEM OF TODAY!
MIDORIMA: [adjusts glasses] Precisely.
EVERYONE ELSE: Huh!?
MIDORIMA: And since Murasakibara broke my lucky elephant just now, you must offer compensation in your teammate's stead.
INK: That sounds like...
KISE: Hm? Oh! Host-san! Your nose is bleeding!
INK: Uwahh! [grabs a tissue]
TAKAO: Aw, guess I'm not wanted anymore, huh? Heheh! But don't think I'm gonna take you back home yet!
MIDORIMA: Hmm. I'm reluctant to admit that this... situation brought me some potential luck. I am willing to stay on a little longer...
TAKAO: Aw, Shin-chan! You do care! Such a tsundere, this one!
MIDORIMA: [adjusts glasses] Don't be ridiculous. Two Scorpios will merely bring twice more luck.
HIMURO: Well, as long as we're here... [sighs] please take care of me, Midorima-kun.
KISE: Ink-san! Your nose again!
INK: ...haha, I will be fine! I have a job to do after all!
EVERYONE ELSE: 'She finally remembers...!'
INK: Now that that's sorted out and that I have everyone's attention (discounting Aomine, who is asleep, and Murasakibara, whose focus seems to be a bag of chips), we can finally begin!
HYUUGA: Hmm, come to think of it, no one told me what this was about, except it was aimed at the fans of the show.
KASAMATSU: Us, too.
IMAYOSHI: This is quite an interesting gathering though, isn't it...?
MIDORIMA: ...What gets to me is the show itself...
TAKAO: Shin-chan?
MIDORIMA: I mean, why is it "Kuroko's Basketball"? We have to admit that he is not the best player out of us. In fact if not for his misdirection, he might be the worst, even out of those nameless ones over there.
KAWAHARA: E-eh? Did he just look our way just now?
KUROKO: That hurts a lot, Midorima-san.
FURIHATA, FUKUDA & KAWAHARA: Imagine how we feel!
MOMOI: I don't mind the title! I think it's nice that it focuses on him! Testu-kun is amazing after all! Not just that, but what he stands for! Can you imagine if it was something like "Aomine no Basuke"?
EVERYONE ELSE: ...[shudder]
KAGAMI: Like that guy needed something else to pump up his over-inflated ego...
AOMINE: Shut the hell up, Bakagami! You're probably just jealous how awesome that sounds.
TAKAO & KISE: Oh, he's awake.
[5...4...3...2...1...click!]
[The Teikou Middle School basketball club; an unbelievably strong team with over 100 members and an impressive history of play which includes three consecutive championship wins. Amongst this brilliant record, a generation of five prodigies that would thought to know no equal for at least a decade was known as the "Generation of Miracles".]
[However in this generation, there was an unstoppable force that outshone the rest: the ace that no one could defeat. He was perhaps the best player in the whole of Tokyo-no! Japan-no! The world! Undefeated, he seeks that which he will never find: a worthy opponent. This is his story...
'Aomine no Basuke' daze: The Only One Who Can Beat Me Is Me!]
KAGAMI: Hah? I bet if there was really a show like that, it would be taken off the air and discontinued after the first episode!
AOMINE: As if you know anything...
IMAYOSHI: Well, I'll have to agree: everyone loves an underdog, and Aomine is by no means one. He's just plain cannot be related to as a protagonist.
KISE: Hey guys, what about "Kise no Basuke"? It even rhymes a lil', ne?
EVERYONE ELSE: Like you're more relatable!
KISE: Why not? I mean, I'll be a natural hero! Honestly I have the looks, the charisma... Plus I'm good at almost everything!
[5...4...3...2...1...click!]
[...However in this generation, there was a white knight who had an unbelievable power: one to make everything he sees his. As he aims for the top, he must face many obstacles with the nothing but his prodigious skill, determination, wits, and damn-good looks. This is his story...
'Kise no Basuke'-ssu: I Never Forget To Return The Favour!]
KASAMATSU: Exactly! How could the every-man possible empathize with that?!
MIDORIMA: Hmm. [adjusts glasses] Ridiculous Kise...
TAKAO: Oh, boy... I can see where this is going...
MIDORIMA: If anyone deserves their own series, it is obviously me!
EVERYBODY ELSE: You're probably the worst one!
[5...4...3...2...1...click!]
[...However, amidst this generation was a humble genius who with sheer dedication and with trust in that dedication, aimed for nothing less than the best. Even while facing the innumerable enemies that challenge him, he will do the utmost in his power to conquer everything before him,for the gods of fortune are the only beings he accepts as above him. This is his story...
'Midorima no Basuke'-nanodayo: Man Proposes, God Disposes; I Will Never Miss!]
HYUUGA: Did he just refer to himself as humble...?
KIYOSHI: This is getting out of hand...
KAGAMI: Heh, I'll show you how it should be!
[5...4...3...2...1...click!]
[...However, far away, unbeknownst to these prodigies, an unknown challenger was approaching with ambitions of stealing their title and becoming Japan's best player. A wild beast with passion for the game as his guide, he seeks to defeat the strongest opponents, to face every new challenge head on! This is his story...
'Kagami no Basuke' da-er- desu: Eat Well, Play Well!]
HYUUGA: ...Do you only ever think about food and basketball?
RIKO: Basuke-baka...
AOMINE: At least you'll have that part about the small fry going for you...
KAGAMI: What was that...?!
MIDORIMA: It doesn't count! You are not part of the Generation of Miracles, nor had you even known about it while you were abroad! You couldn't have possibly had that kind of aspiration!
MURASAKIBARA: Ehhhh... I wan' one too...If everybody is getting one...
IMAYOSHI: Oh, he's back.
TSUCHIDA: He's kind of like a kid, isn't he...
EVERYONE ELSE: [sigh]...
[5...4...3...2...1...click!]
[...However in this generation, there was an insatiable giant who is hungry for...well, that's it; he's just hungry. He could not be satisfied until he had eaten every candy and snack known to mankind. This is his story...
'Murasakibara no Basque Gateau': Sweets are Justice!] (3)
KOGANEI: "Basque gateau? Like the pastry?" Mitobe asks. Mitobe knows a lot about cooking, ne?
IZUKI: -! Murasakibara-kun! That rhyme...! You don't mind if I write this down, do you...?
MURASAKIABARA: Eeehh... you can cook? ... so you've made that before...?... no?
MITOBE: ...
MUROSAKIBARA: Me? ...I like eating more that cooking...Cooking is troublesome... Now I want some cake...
MITOBE: ...
MUROSAKIBARA: ...Really?... You'll really make me something later? ...but I'm hungry now...mmm... But I guess I can wait...
KISE: ...What exactly is happening right now?
TAKAO: Are they actually... communicating?
KISE: Ink-san, again your nose...
IMAYOSHI: Hmm... I may have a theory: you know how they say that kids have observational skills that sometimes surpass adults?
KASAMATSU: Like noticing things regular adult wouldn't?
IMAYOSHI: Exactly.
KUROKO: Well, Murasakibara-kun does have the temperament of a child...
RIKO: So you have to have a childlike mentality to understand what's behind Mitobe's silence, huh...?
KOGANEI: Eh? Why is everyone looking at me?
HIMURO: Atsushi... You shouldn't impose snack orders on others.
MURASAKIBARA: It's fine, ain't it...? If I had my own show, I can eat lots... You can be there too...
KISE: Huh? So you weren't planning on having the rest of us at all?
MURASAKIBARA: I said Muro-chin could be in it, didn't I...? Maybe Aka-chin too...
MOMOI: OK! It's my turn!
RIKO: Who said that you would get a turn? Anyway, you're like Kise: no one can possibly relate to you!
MOMOI: Hmm... Perhaps it's just you, Miss Barely B...
[5...4...3...2...1...click!]
[...However in the background of this brilliant legacy was an unsung angel that worked with the prodigies. She was a maiden so very fair and clever, and then she met the man of her dreams... Now that they are separated, forced to play on opposing sides, can her love survive? This is her story...
'Momoi no Kuroko': Believe in a Woman's Intuition!]
RIKO: "Momoi no Kuroko?" Now you're not even trying to make it remotely about basketball...
AOMINE: These are the stupidest ideas ever...
KUROKO: You will have to include yours into that statement, Aomine-kun.
TETSUYA 2: Woof!
IMAYOSHI: Oh? The dog seems to agree as well.
KASAMATSU: That dog, looks quite familiar...
[5...4...3...2...1...click!]
EVERYBODY: NO! We do NOT need one for the dog too!
RIKO: Now can we all just appreciate the show as it is?
EVERYBODY: [nod]
INK: Actually, what I wanna discuss involves a lot of that kind of thinking.
KASAMATSU: ...Excuse me?
INK: I mean, unusual, but –er imaginative...I suppose. Situations so unlikely, so crazy but exciting that they could probably only exist in fiction! More specifically, Fan Fiction!
-INTERMISSION-
|[O]|[O]|[O]|
Writer's notes:
(1) This is Kiyoshi trying to spell out the Kanji for his name.
(2) Falooda, or faluda, is a cold drink made by mixing rose syrup, milk and sugar. It's very tasty, and is sometimes served with jelly or tapioca pearls, but I like it simple and with vanilla ice cream :) Plus it has a nice shade of light pink, and it smells reeeaaally good! No wonder Murasakibara is crazy for it!
(3) Gateau Basque is a French tart-like pastry usually stuffed with a dark cherry filling. Yum! (And yes, that is his real motto according to the Character Bible.)
This first 'segment' was just a character intro so we know who's here... That's what I would have liked, but it went a little crazy...And I couldn't just resist adding myself into the mix!
The good parts are coming in the next instalment as the cast of KnB are (finally) introduced to the world of FanFiction!
If you guys have any questions you want me to 'ask' the characters, you can either leave a review or PM me!
More importantly: What did you think of the character scenarios? (In complete honesty, that elephant-Himuro thing was not premeditated, it just worked out in the end the more I thought about it :P) Was my "Everybody's basketball" accurate?
Any criticism would be considered constructive criticism, and would be much appreciated! You guys out there make me write better, so thank you! Bye :3