Yuuko's Price
a speculative conclusion to tsubasa chronicles
AN: This story was conceived and written approx in time with my exposure to no further out than manga Volumes 11-13 (Piffle World). It was well before the apocalyptic Tokyo/X-1999 World introduced in Volumes 14-15. As such, it before the true nature of the Syaoran lookalike was revealed and it disregards/ignores plot movements that have picked up since that point. Please suspend your disbelief in regards to these newer movements.
by Michaela Will
The universe expanded around them, vibrating and pulsing unnaturally. The space shifted, as if the fabric of the stretching world was irritably uncomfortable. The walls of intangible space thinned and puffed, popping gently like a soap bubble. Air rushed into the pocket as it burst and the little group of dimensional travelers could see where Mokona had brought them.
The white creature itself bounced away from the resettling dimensional space and into Yuuko's waiting arms.
"Yuuko!" it cried. The tall woman stroked its head, an expression on her face that looked almost smug. She was dressed in black, looking very much like she was expecting to receive guests.
"Thank you, Mokona. Did you all have a pleasant trip back?"
Kurogane was the first one to regain his senses. Realizing that he was back where he'd started so long ago, Kurogane's brows twitched and raised his voice.
"What are we doing back here, you crazy witch!? Did that white pork bun bring us here on purpose?!" He looked her over scornfully, his mouth falling into a deep scowl. He crossed his arms and glared around the familiar house they stood outside, his expression dark.
They were standing exactly where they had once before. The only difference was this time they all knew each other and Sakura was conscious. Sakura blinked around in slight confusion as Fye smoothed over Yuuko's newly acquired (and ninja-induced) frown.
"We did have a good trip, Dimensional Witch. It seems you were expecting us. Did we keep you waiting long?" Yuuko smiled an enigmatic smile.
"No. I waited just long enough." She nodded to Fye, then turned her gaze calmly, "Sakura?" Sakura looked at Syaoran, who returned her glance blankly. He flicked his eyes to Yuuko and Sakura took the urging, stepping forward. Yuuko's heavily lidded gaze pressed on the young woman.
"Yuuko-san? It's nice to finally meet you." She bowed politely. The witch's mouth thinned into a smile and Sakura's heart lurched and then pounded arrhythmically against her ribs. This did not feel like a pleasant meeting to her.
"Sakura, I assume since Mokona brought you back at this time you have found all of your feathers?" Sakura started upright and her eyes widened.
"That-that can't be right Yuuko-san!" She protested, "I'm still missing at least one feather! I know it." Sakura gulped as Yuuko's expressionless eyes drilled into her, studying her.
"No, Sakura. You have all your feathers." Yuuko studied her, the edges of a patronizing smile curling around her mouth. "Why do you think otherwise? Are you certain what you feel is missing is not just the natural effects of forgetting things? It is normal for certain things to pass from our memories." Sakura shook her head.
"No!" Sakura threw her hands down to her sides in tight, defiant fists. "There's something left I don't remember and I should! It's something I wouldn't normally forget." Sakura quieted from her violent response, "I couldn't forget something like this naturally. It's too… regular"
She thought of the patterns of missing persons, voices from chairs when she could not recall the form and afternoons where she talked to a person who she could not remember. There was someone in all those memories. It was too consistent to be just the forgetfulness of her mind. That person, or persons, had great importance to her, or she would not have recalled the scenes to begin with; Hundreds of them, over and over, with the same unnatural gaps. Sakura stood still, her face a portrait of serious thought and befuddlement as she considered, shaking her head ever so slightly.
Yuuko took the opportunity to walk away for a moment, depositing Mokona to the side. Her eyes slid languidly across them all; Kurogane, then Fye, then a long moment at Syaoran before returning to Sakura.
"You are right that you are still missing something, but it is not quite a feather as you believe. Shall I explain why?" She asked Syaoran.
Sakura whipped around to look at him. He glared at the dimensional witch fiercely, but did not say anything. Sakura looked at Kurogane. He had recognized his dismissal from the conversation and had made himself comfortable sulking off to the side, but watching the events unfold. Fye also did not speak, but watched the proceedings with unusually serious eyes and passive interest.
"Did Syaoran, Fye, or Kurogane ever tell you about the price they paid for Mokona?" Yuuko asked her voice conversational. Sakura shook her head uncomprehendingly.
"Sort of. I thought Mokona chose to come with us."
"Mokona did because Mokona enjoys traveling and good company, oh, and food, of course. But Mokona was paid for. More specifically, Mokona's ability to transport you between worlds was paid for." Yuuko's smile grew feral as she paused.
"They all paid a very high price, the highest they could pay. Kurogane paid with his sword. I see he has acquired a new one." She nodded at the scowling ninja with this admission. He nodded in return, eyes slitted. "It looks very fine. Perhaps better than the one you paid me with?" She queried. Kurogane only grumbled in response, his hand twitching defensively towards his sword. Yuuko continued.
"Fye paid with the mechanism that controlled his magic. Are you still refusing to use your skill without it?" She asked. Fye smiled in his way.
"Oh, I'm still not using magic, but I gather I could effectively by this point without the mechanism if I want to." He stopped, tilted his head thoughtfully and then gave it a brief shake and closed himself off again. Yuuko nodded, returning her gaze to a confused Sakura.
"Syaoran also paid. But you, my dear, have not. You were not conscious to strike a bargain with, but you also enjoyed Mokona's abilities. So now that your journey is over, I asked Mokona to bring you home with him, so we can discuss this last matter of payment."
Sakura glanced around in worried bewilderment. Her hands twisted fabric of her cloak between her fingers nervously.
"My journey's not over." She insisted.
"It is." Yuuko's tone made her frown. She sounded like she knew something Sakura did not and it made her believe the witch down to her bones. It made her even more anxious, as obviously something had been kept from her. "So now is the matter of your payment to me."
"I paid her price." The voice rung out from behind her. Yuuko's eyes slipped to Syaoran. Sakura, heart pounding, turned slowly. She turned her eyes to meet Syaoran, who was busy staring down Yuuko.
He held himself with the surety of a scholar, who knows his intelligence is of value; with the bravado of a warrior, who knows his strength's measure; with the confidence of a man, who knows his journey has made him no longer a boy. Yet the tiniest signs of silent desperation dripped cautiously from his determined stance. "You must agree my price was high enough to cover us both." His voice did not quaver at all.
"Syaoran-kun…" The name slipped from her mouth softly with awe. It was not the first time she had seen him act so, but it moved her more than ever before. His eyes flicked to hers and returned intently to Yuuko's as if sheer will would convince her. Her mouth moved slowly.
"I think not, Syaoran. If anything, Sakura has been the one to carry the manifestation of your price." Yuuko raised an eyebrow at Sakura. The gaze and Yuuko's cryptic comment brought the question to her lips. Her green eyes clouded and her brows furrowed as the words dropped, almost unwittingly, from her mouth.
"What price did Syaoran-kun pay?"
Yuuko's knowing smile became one of satisfaction. Clearly she had been waiting for that. She stretched out her hand. From various points around her house and its garden little flickers of gold light became visible. They gently flew out from here and there; one even appeared from behind Mokona's left ear. They blew on an unfelt wind into curls and off-track paths that wandered like fireflies and they all slowly consolidated in Yuuko's extended palm. Bits of golden light reformed and turned white.
"My feather…" Sakura stepped forward, her hand outstretched. She could feel it. This, this was the last feather.
"No," Yuuko replied evenly, startling Sakura, "This feather belongs to me." Sakura stopped. She heard the witch's words before breath was given to them. She began to stumble.
"This is the price Syaoran paid." Sakura heard Syaoran growling a low rumble behind her as she fell to her knees. Her hands hit the grass and dirt with a dull thunk that barely registered on her senses. Her eyes were wide, blindly dilated and uncomprehending, but she understood every word.
"Syaoran paid by sacrificing his former relationship with you. I took that payment in the form of your memories of him. This feather would not have been without his price. Therefore, you have all of your feathers and this one, constructed from your memories of Syaoran, is mine."
"But they're my memories! They belong to me. Even with Syaoran's payment you have no right to take my memories! It's not fair!" she cried out, her features contorted with grief.
Sakura had thought she lacked this possessiveness regarding her feathers. They had been used for good and for bad, for right and for wrong, but she had never begrudged anyone use of her feathers. Even with the most depraved person trying to claim them, she had understood the desire for her power and had not begrudged their attempts to claim ownership of what was indisputably hers. This claim bothered her. These memories were hers and she found, deep within her, a desperate desire to have these memories back. Yuuko studied her.
"Please, they're mine!" The following silence rung hard on the air. Sakura watched Yuuko's tightly pursed mouth waiting for the answer, vision darting around to check eyes and hands when no reply came. Anxiety rose from Sakura's core to her face. Then her eyes, Yuuko's deep eyes, grew sly. She turned and spoke to Sakura over her shoulder while taking slow, measured steps circling around the crumpled girl.
"You know, I suppose you're right. I should not have claimed Syaoran's payment with your memories. It is not fair to have taken what was yours from you for his payment, even if it does affect you both."
Sakura heaved towards the ground with relief. She watched tears hit the earth between her outstretched hands, in wonder of them. She didn't know when she'd started crying. She would be whole and, she elatedly realized, she would remember Syaoran fully! The silent, nearly-hidden desperation in his eyes when she failed to remember something about their shared past would end! Her mouth began to widen in a smile that she knew would break into laughter to fall with her tears. She could feel their hot release, hanging on the edge of her eyes.
"I suppose the proper thing to do would be to make an even trade and take his memories of you and return yours of him to you."
Sakura's heart stopped. It lurched up, stopped beating, and choked her throat. Anguish erupted through her in a torrent. Her wide, betrayed eyes filled to the brim with the same unshed tears now to be spent in cold fright and distress. Those eyes turned up to look upon the woman before her in horror, for the first time truly contemplating that being as a witch.
"After all, he did need his memories of you to help you find your feathers; otherwise he may not have traveled with you." Yuuko's even voice rang cruel as she dispassionately looked down on Sakura. "Now I will make the even exchange and Syaoran's payment will be proper. Then we can discuss yours."
Tears flew from the corners of Sakura's eyes as she flung her gaze to Kurogane; he leaned against the fence impassively and would not look at her. Fye! He stood watching with a hand to his mouth and a pensive expression. His glossy blue eyes slid to hers and he shrugged unhelpfully. Mokona looked undisturbed by the proceedings, bouncing lightly back and forth on his rabbit-like feet. Syaoran!
His dark hair hung over his face and his shoulders hung slack. Yuuko's skyscraper slender form rose over him and he did nothing to stop it. Sakura tried to catch his eye. One peeked out from behind his dark bangs and met hers. There were no tears, no regret, no relief. Nothing but the numbed blankness of blind acceptance. He gave her a wane smile.
"It's okay… Sakura. I told Yuuko-san that I would pay any price to save you," he swallowed hard, "Even if you never remembered me, I would still pay and I meant it. I'm sorry my payment has kept you from finding all your feathers." Her heart leapt at his intimate tone, but it cried in pain at the sight of him. She could see the start of the raw tears growing in the corners of his eyes, even as he tried to hide them. The knot in her chest grew to the size of a boulder.
"You accept this, Syaoran? Loosing your memories of her?" Yuuko spoke and Syaoran seemed to pay her no mind. He watched Sakura. He turned his dark eyes to her and looked her over gently, but thoroughly. His dark eyes gazed over her form, holding the curve of her waist, the slenderness of her arms, appearing to memorize her image and burn it deep in his memory. She closed her eyes as his study lingered over her face and hair, feeling the phantom heat of his presence against her skin. She left her eyes gently closed while his perusal continued. Only when his lingering presence retreated did she open her eyes to be met with a soft, tired smile.
"I am sorry, Sakura, but… thank you for it all." She found she had no voice to say anything, only the strength to plead silently. His eyes apologized again as he dropped his head.
"I said I would pay any price and I meant it. I accept Yuuko-san."
Yuuko nodded sagely and her hands began to move over the feather she possessed. It glowed and pulsed, once, then twice, then…
"NO!" Sakura screamed. Her ankles gave under her as she attempted to climb to her feet, "No! You can't! I don't accept this… this," She struggled for the words, "Exchange!" She panted for breath and failed again to reach footing. Head drooping, almost to the dirt, she breathed heavily. "No… No, no, no…" The whimpered litany dripped from her in the starts and drops of a leaking faucet.
When she looked up again, the dimensional witch hung over her. The white feather remained in her hand, no longer pulsing, and Yuuko looked down on her, her mouth a firm line across her face.
"Why?" The question was quiet, but powerful. Sakura's mind raced to find a suitable answer. The next comment was sharper, "You do not accept Syaoran's payment and you will not accept the proper exchange. How are we to come to an agreement? There are only two items being considered for barter here and that's your memories of Syaoran and his memories of you."
Yuuko's mind was clearly working faster than Sakura's. She struggled for a reasonable answer, but her mouth began to speak before she'd given it all proper thought.
"There's no way that this is fair, Yuuko-san. Any memories we share will affect both of us when you take them away. One of us will lose our memories, but the other has to live with them, knowing the other one doesn't cherish them anymore. Both of us will always pay a price and that will always be a high price. I don't even know which price is higher, but you're making Syaoran pay twice over if you made him suffer one way and now force him to suffer the other! I know what it feels like to have missing memories I don't want Syaoran to have to go through that!"
She let her eyes meet Syaoran's stunned wide ones. She felt tears coursing cleanly down her face and did not try to stop them. She let her remorse show.
"I know I'm supposed to remember you, I've known for a long time now. And I don't want to forget you any longer! I want to cherish our memories, our old memories like you do! As well as the new ones!" She turned back to Yuuko, sobbing openly as she spoke.
"And if you take his memories now, then it's paying more than before because of all the new memories we've made with Fye-san and Kurogane-san and Mokona! Taking our memories away changes us! They are part of who we are! You can't take that!" Her voice sounded in her ears like that of a whiny, spoiled child; her sniffles and soft hiccups rung in the silence that she imposed with her passionate tirade.
She settled momentarily, looking at the ground before her and choking on her uneven breathing. Then a new thought occurred to her and her wide eyes shot up to Yuuko's. The knowing look of the witch's eyes gave her courage. She spoke more calmly although her voice still shook.
"And I-I don't think I can live without Syaoran knowing me." She let her gaze move to the young man in question with a sweet smile. "He's become everything to me, Yuuko-san: my protector, my sanctuary, the link between me and my past." She paused and looked up at Yuuko for a moment before turning and giving her full attention to Syaoran. Some time during her tirade he had wandered forward and they were now mere steps apart. She smiled deeper, her eyes gentling and overflowing with the tears they barely held.
"You're my truest friend, Syaoran," He had managed to dry his eyes without tears before, but looked like he might cry anew. She steeled herself as he had before, "and I'm in love with you."
Her eyes darted over his, searching for a reaction he was still too stunned to express. His astonished eyes did not change as she spoke, but his jaw opened and worked silently. She dropped her head from his eyes to find his hand and take it in hers, "I fell in love with you somewhere along this journey of ours. I'm sorry I haven't told you sooner. I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner"
She remained on her heels, looking up at Syaoran who stared on her with surprise. He blinked. Sakura returned to watching her hands, praying for his reply. She squeezed his hands with hers and rubbed his fingers. He dropped to his knees in front of her suddenly. Sakura startled and got caught in those intense eyes. The pause held, and then Syaoran threw his arms around her. She was pulled tightly, so tightly, against him, his head hanging limply over her shoulder. His frame shook against hers, his palms pressed against the middle of her back holding her like a precious gift.
"I've loved you for as long as I can remember, S-Sakura. I truly have."
He leaned back slowly, taking her hands in his and pulling them briefly to his lips. They knelt in the grass and dirt, smiling happily at each other as tears welled in his eyes. Sakura let hers run freely.
"Awww, Kuro-puu! Aren't they just the sweetest thing you've ever seen?"
"Sweetest! Sweetie-Sweetiest!"
"Shaddup! Stupid white pork bun! Get offa me!"
The reverie was broken. Sakura and Syaoran looked up to see Fye leaning on Kurogane's arm and waving at them as the gruff ninja tried to extricate Mokona from his clothes. Mokona laughed and bubbled around Kurogane in curious game of tag. Fye nodded at the young couple smiling. He blew them a kiss with a wink and then pulled Mokona free of Kurogane's reach (and clothes) and tossed the creature up on the flyaway nest of his fair hair.
"There, there Kuro-puu! Mokona was just getting restless I think, he's used to more action." Fye then gestured one slim hand to Yuuko, who stood stoically to one side. Syaoran and Sakura redirected their gaze to her nervously.
"Sakura?" The witch looked down at them. Sakura stumbled back to her feet as Syaoran reached up his hands wide, but present ready to steady her. His sweet face turned up to watch as his girl approach the slender form of the dimensional witch. Yuuko stepped forward to meet her.
"Yuuko-san." Sakura said calmly. There was something about the smile on the witch's face that made her feel confident. Yuuko held out the feather to her.
"This belongs to you again."
It made its way straight past her hands and towards her flying home. The feather melted through her clothes and rippled through her skin warmly towards her heart. Sakura cupped her hands around the warmth and the little gaps in her memory slowly began to fill. Syaoran. So much of Syaoran had lived in her memories. He'd been such a presence in her life.
All the unnatural gaps, every last one, were of Syaoran. There was not a one forgotten. Sakura put her hands over her chest and while she did feel a little faint and lightheaded, she was able to remain on her feet, floating, basking in the joy of these last and most precious memories.
"B-But, Yuuko-san," Syaoran's voice quavered uncontrollably. "W-Why?!" His cry was almost anguished, desperate. His shoulders shook as he struggled to hold his emotions and failing to the shivers of his form and the tears streaking his face.
Sakura, seeing his distress, returned to him. He remained kneeling on the ground and grasped for her the minute she came into reach. He tangled his arms around her legs and waist, tightly fisting her clothes in his hands. His head dropped to rest against her stomach intimately. Sakura leaned over his form, running her hands over his hair and shoulders in soothing gestures of reassurance, trying to calm the great heaving shudders that were wracking Syaoran's overwrought senses and emotions. Her gentle eyes warmed him in his confusion. Yuuko's heavily lidded eyes studied Syaoran closely.
"What exactly did I say to you? What exactly was your payment?"
Syaoran paused, unwrapping one arm to wipe the streaks from his eyes as he thought. He frowned, his hand resting on Sakura's waist, while he recalled the exact words of the bargain struck. He stuttered as the words dropped from his mouth, the full meaning beginning to dawn on him, "Even if… even if you find all of her feathers your r-relationship with her will never be the same again." Yuuko smiled fully, the movement finally reaching the creases of her eyes.
"Not her memories, your relationship. The memories were just collateral to make sure the relationship altered suitably. I think," Her smile widened again as she studied the intense tangle of the young couple, "that the relationship is suitable altered so I no longer need the feather. What use do I have for her memories? They belong to her, not me."
Syaoran quietly clung to Sakura, his face buried in her stomach. She could feel the wetness seeping into the cloth and his body betraying him with shakes and trembles even now. He breathed slowly and deeply, but the pace felt forced against her stomach. His muscles were still tight, disbelieving.
She stroked his hair and gently pulled his chin up to look at her. "Syaoran?" Sakura's voice was gentle and excited all at once. "You've been there, so much, so very much. You've been the one, the one in my heart, all along! All those memories were you!" She smiled happily and wrapped her arms around him as well as she could, whispering, "It's always been you, only you!"
Syaoran stared at her incredulously, his cheeks wet. Slowly, he untangled himself and stood. He held Sakura's hands for a long moment, quietly looking around at everyone. His thoughts he kept to himself as the tears stopped and the subtle shaking washed away from his form. His features were slowly changing and his eyes began to glow with warmth.
Suddenly, he was wrapping his arms around Sakura's waist properly and hauling her off her feet, spinning her around as she laughed. His bright smile, pure and unadulterated joy, matched hers perfectly.
"Syaoran! Syaoran!" She cried delightedly, "Put me down!" He gently returned her to her feet, his smile more rewarding than any others she could remember. She was still breathless from laughter when he leaned over her, brushed her hair aside, and kissed her cheek: sweetly, chastely, but when he pulled back she could see in his dark eyes the promise of more.
"Mokona wants a kiss tooooo!" The white pork bun bounced down from Fye's hair and along the top row of the fence, making it's way towards Kurogane, "Chu, Chu!"
Sakura and Syaoran both flushed deeply at the fuss. Kurogane jumped away from the fence, glowing at Mokona, "Stay away from me while making those noises! I'm not going to do anything with a freaking pork bun!"
Fye laughed and plucked Mokona from the fence, kissing the creature on the large soft cheek, "There you are Mokona, one kiss with lots of love! Now I wonder who will give me a kiss?" He said while looking around, his blue eyes laughing at Kurogane. The blush eased off Syaoran and Sakura's cheeks as Kurogane fumed at the matching Cheshire smiles of his fair companions.
Yuuko cleared her throat. Fye held Mokona in his arms, the creature quieting down. Everyone looked to the tall form of the dimensional witch.
"Well," Yuuko said, "Now that we have taken care of everything, I am to send you to Clow. A certain snowbunny mage and his king have paid me handsomely to return you two home and allow your traveling companions an opportunity to visit Clow."
Sakura brightly moved toward Yuuko, full of excitement.
"Really?! We get to go home and see Onii-san and Yukito-san! Will Mokona take us?" Yuuko nodded and Sakura ran to Fye, grabbing his hands laughing with delight and telling him all about Clow, her family, and everything she could think of in a flurry. Fye swung their hands and smiled with Sakura, nodding along with her rambling. Kurogane moved over and dropped a hand on Syaoran's shoulder. He looked up at the ninja.
"You did good, kid." Syaoran smiled a real, true smile.
"Time to go! Time to go!" Mokona chirped. Sakura and Fye flittered over the where Syaoran and Kurogane stood. Sakura moved immediately to be enfolded in Syaoran's arms.
As the world bubbled around them, bursting of bright light, Sakura called through the haze, "Good bye! Thank you, Yuuko-san!"