Hi everyone!
This is the first time for me writing about this pairing, but I wanted so much an intese moment between these two in Inquisition.
I was thinking to write another couple of chapters, but first, I would really like to have your opinion... So, please let me know!
I apologize for eventual grammatical errors (english is not my first language).
Leliana's POV
Enjoy
It was finally over.
Long months, almost a year, spent gathering recruits, nobles allies and making of the Inquisition a symbol of protection and reconstruction, now respected in all Thedas when at the beginning we were feared by many, together we accomplished a task that no one knew it could be possible.
All the sacrifices, the difficult choices, the actions that stained the souls of so many persons, that scarred the souls of the most loyal advisors of the Inquisitor, included the Herald herself, forced to take a position that even she didn't know she could take and lead with such a great enthusiasm, surprising the persons that first accused her as a murdered. She was a great part of the reason why tonight the fortress of Skyhold, and probably as far as the news arrived, was celebrating the gratest victory.
A victory obtained with so much blood and sacrifices that could have painted the land of an empire, that needed to be reminded, because our victory was possible because of the actions of the ones that we had lost.
Tonight was also for them.
The party went on since the first lights of the morning, there were still people talking and singing, laughing and joking as the companions of the Inquisitor continued to tell stories above stories about the adventures that they had encountered during this difficult path.
The music kept playing for all the evening, remembering me of distant times, enjoyable times, where I was still very young and used to sing and play music for the Orlesian court, entertaining the nobles and at the same time doing what I mastered during the years, an art that became so very helpful to me, even if at first I had to pay for the consequences that brought being one of them. A spy.
But that's another story...
I enjoyed the party that night, I felt like I was finally starting to relax for the very first time in over a year, the air was warm and relaxing, and I could feel how everyone was wrapped around an atmosphere that wasn't hovered by death and fear any longer.
All that mattered was celebrate, not only our victory but also life itself, our friends and the loved ones that stayed at our side during all this path.
And just when my mind started wandering in that direction, I smiled fully, especially when I saw Josephine following and then being pulled by the Inquisitor into her arms as they made their way towards the private chambers with, no doubt, every intention to continue the party in another sort of way.
My heart swelled inside of my chest. Josephine's been a very good and loyal friend to me over the years, and even if at first I had doubted about the intentions of the Inquisitor towards my friend, Lady Trevelyan made me see how much Josephine meant to her. The young mage proved her love for the Antivan Ambassador in such various and romantic ways that made shame of even my most romantic stories.
Thinking about those two brought both a warm soft sensation deep inside me, but at the same time, I felt my chest ache with what I knew was the feeling of loneliness and concern.
The same burning and consuming sensation that I started to feel not longer after the explosion at Haven, the same feeling that I felt whenever I saw a young couple holding hands and exchainging sweet words. That same sensation that hunted me even in my dreams, the only place where I could find again the reason, the one and only person that made me feel safe again. Made me whole again.
...Made me love again.
And from the moment our eyes met, I knew, that the vision I saw wasn't sent by the Maker just for me to help a noble cause.
She wasn't just a Grey Warden.
She was My Warden.
The strenght that I thought I had lost forever and the hope that I didn't know if I would find again. Until one day, when she entered the tavern of a very small village. Ten years ago... this same day.
I could still remember perfectly how those deep blue and kind eyes looked into my very soul when our gaze met in that tavern in Lothering. How I felt something shift inside me, something light on fire into my chest, spreading all over my body in such a powerful sensation that had my breath hitch and my hands tremble with a foreing but incredibly good force.
And when she accepted me into her group, without even blinking as a warm welcoming smile formed all over her young face, I knew, that my knowledge of being a bard and a person that could easily mask her feelings wasn't going to help me this time. I was completely exposed. And I never felt so comfortable under that warm and almost timid gaze.
"Sister Nightingale?"
I blinked several times as I was brought back from my plesant memories by a voice calling me using one of my most famous names.
My eyes adjusted for a second as I opened them, greeting the lights of the torchs playing on the stone's walls of the main hall where I was leaned against one of the closed wooden doors.
I turned my head slightly, enough to see one of my agents stand at my side, looking quite nervous as she continued playing with her hands.
"It's everything all right?" My voice was calm and steady as I spoke to the young woman, she was one of the latest recruit, a bit unexperienced, but full of potential.
Before she looked up at me, she watched at both sides to make sure no one was listening to our conversation, that made me chuckle even if I tried my best not to.
"A letter came for you Sister Nightingale." She whispered those words like it was something unusual and very suspect.
I looked at her still chuckling as I moved from my position to face her completely before speaking.
"Well, I receive letters all the time." I leaned in to whisper the next words. "This is no secret to anyone."
When I leaned back, the young woman was looking at me with an embarassed expression as she tried to respond, opening and closing her mouth several times before she succeded.
"I-I k-know Mistress, but this one had a special seal. And the person that gave it to me requested that it must be delivered to your private room."
A special seal?
That had my full attention and the smile that was playing on my lips just a few seconds before was wiped away as I narrowed my eyes in confusion.
"What kind of seal?" I received letters from all Thedas about everything that had to do with the Inquisition, but this seemed something different, something personal, expecially since it was meant to be delivered directly to me and not to the Inquisition.
She looked up at me swallowing hard before she answered.
"I think it has the symbol of the Gray Wardens."
For as much as I tried with every fiber of my being to mantain my calm and collected demeanor after receiving that information, I knew that I must have showed something from the outside, even if minimal.
The last time I received a letter with the seal of the Gray Warden it's been months ago, when I succeded to locate the position of the Hero of Ferelden and she sent me back the letter that still under my pillow, the one I had consumed, rereading it endless times in the few quiet nights I managed to have while the world was falling apart.
All the questions that were running through my head and the storm of sensation that I could feel pulsing into my veins with every forceful beat of my heart, made it almost impossible for me to concentrate.
She's always been the only person that had the power to shatter my rational part just with her loving gaze, and even if she wasn't there with me, I pictured her into my mind, remembering her soft and kind features, the small dimples that formed on her cheeks when she smiled and then, as I closed my eyes for only a second, I swore I smelled the ghost of her delicate and comforting scent.
I forced myself out of those memories as I focused on the present, looking at the high ceiling of the fortress before meeting the gaze of the young woman that was still standing before me, looking more nervous than before.
"Where is the letter?" I hoped that my voice sounded as steady as I played it into my head before speaking, but I knew that a small tremble left my throat, I felt it as my breath rushed out.
The agent seemed to not notice it though as she hurried to answer me. "I have it here, Mistress. I didn't want to entrude in your private chambers." She started looking into one of the pocket of her cloak, pulling out after a few moments a yellowish envelope and handing it to me.
"I'll leave you to read it, Mistress." She looked around noticing the large amount of people that was still celebrating, drinking and singing before adding "But a more private quarter would be preferable." With that she bowed her head in respect before making her way towards the entrance.
I was still there, frozen in place, touching the envelope of a letter that probably contained the location of my lover or...
I frowned when through the gloves that I was wearing, I felt a something on the back of the letter.
I turned the envelope around as a red wax seal greeted me, a seal that I knew well enough. A griffon.
The lump that formed in my troath followed by the slightly tremble of my hands, were just the minimal extension of what I was feeling inside of me when a very dreaded thought crossed my mind. A thought that crossed my mind several times during the day actually, and the same thought that managed to leave me breathless and open a new, deeper crack, in my heart.
I looked up at my right side, all the music and chatting in the room were immediately forgotten when I looked at the weak light that was coming through the stained glass window of the hall, silently praying as I felt the agitation grew inside me, sending my rational part right into the void.
I clutched the letter to my chest, hoping, irrationally, that the simple gesture would have slowed down the frantic and forceful beats of my heart.
Please, my love.
Please, be alright.