[Author's Note: I do not own Bob's Burgers, neither the show nor the restaurant.]

"I have an announcement," Gene announced. He and the rest of his family were sitting around the table, eating breakfast.

"Oh boy," mumbled Bob. Gene's announcements were usually some radical, half-baked lifestyle change that he said would be permanent but that he'd give up in a week or two.

"I'm a woman!"

"What?" said Bob. Gene's announcements weren't usually quite this drastic.

"Oh, I'm so proud!" said Linda.

"I've always wanted an older sister!" Louise exclaimed.

"But I'm… oh… never mind," Tina said gloomily.

"So everybody call me 'Gina' from now on!"

"Okay!" said Linda. "Hello, Gina!"

"Huh?" said Tina. "Oh. Uh, that might get a little confusing…"

"Well, how about we start calling Tina 'Tene'?" said Louise.

"Well, I am a teen," said Tina. "I mean, just barely, but I am…"

"So, uh, what exactly brought this on?" Bob asked.

"Well, I've always been in touch with my feminine side," said Gina, "and then I thought, hey, what if I am my feminine side? So I figured I might be trans, just like Wendy Carlos!"

"Who?" said Bob.

"Or like Marshmallow," said Tina.

"Wait, Marshmallow's trans?" said Gina. "I thought she was just a deep-voiced lady with a prominent Adam's apple and no boobs!"

"This is ridiculous," Bob said.

"Don't be so narrow-minded, Bob," said Linda. "I, for one, support my beautiful trans baby."

"I'm not saying that I wouldn't support him if he was trans," said Bob. "I'm saying he isn't trans. He likes his weiner too much."

"That's right!" said Gene, as if this were a sudden revelation. "I do like my weiner! Oh, well. Maybe I'm just metrosexual!"

"Whatever," said Bob. "As long as I don't have to pay for hormone replacement therapy."

"Wait, is that a thing?" said Tina. "I mean, my own hormones are getting pretty out of whack. Maybe I could…"

"No, Tina," said Bob.

"Okay."

"So does this mean we have to call you 'Gene' again?" asked a somewhat disappointed Louise.

"Call me anything you want," said Gene. "Just don't call me late for dinner!"

"Okay, Late For Dinner," Linda said. "No, wait, that's what you said not to call you…"

Bob sighed.

[Author's Note: This story is in no way intended to be transphobic.]