"Dean, let's go!" Sam shouted to his brother. After waiting a few minutes to no response, he knocks on the bathroom door. What could be taking him so long? Sam wandered. "Dean come on! It's been over an hour!" It's just a date, it's not like it's his first. I Sam walks over to his bed where he sits and nervously fidgets. He won't lie, he's nervous too. His mind has been consumed in thoughts of 'What if it doesn't go well?' and 'What if Dean doesn't enjoy it?'. As Sam continues to drown in his nervousness, Dean finally emerged from the bathroom. Hearing his brother's footsteps, he looked. "It's about time, it's only been an hour and a ha-" Sam was going to harass his brother for taking an amount of time that only a nervous teenage girl would, but he stopped when he saw Dean. He was simply breathtaking. Now Sam had seen Dean in a suit before, but never like this. He looked simply perfect, and his eyes seemed to glow a little brighter than usual. Sam just sat there, staring at his brother and how amazing he looked.
"Uh Sammy?" Dean asked, his voice sounding more nervous and uncomfortable than ever. "What do ya think?" He nervously looked down at the suit he had worn and was self-conscious. I've never actually been this nervous before going out.. but then again it's never been like this. Dean thinks to himself, it's his first official date with someone who wasn't a girl.
"You look, uh… awesome?" Sam responded, questioning if he answered Dean's question. Why does he ask me? It's not like I could actually answer him. "I don't think I'm really the person you should ask, considering.." Sam stopped mid-sentence. He was going to say 'considering I'm not the person you're going to be with', but he stopped. He was happy his brother was finally going to accept himself, and be with the man he loved. Sam had never imagined that man was going to be, well for starters a man, let alone an ex-angel. "Are you ready?"
"Yeah, uh no, um maybe?" Dean stuttered. I really have to stop being nervous. It's just Cas. He tried to reason with himself, I've been with Cas away from Sam before, but never like this. He couldn't help it! Not only was he nervous being on his first date with someone he had such strong feelings for, but he was Cas's first friend. Not only was he Cas's first friend, he was his first boyfriend. He was Cas's first relationship. He was Cas's first date. And every time he had the realizations of how many of Cas's firsts he had been, he became more and more nervous. What if I screw up and Cas is ruined from wanting anyone ever again? Dean thinks of what could happen if it doesn't work out, as all of his past relationships. Even Lisa, who he loved so dearly, and Ben, who he is almost positive he is the real father of, didn't work out. He was so sure it would work, he had lived with them for over a year, but it didn't. His biggest fear was ruining Cas, he couldn't stand the thought of ruining his little angel.
His concern other than making Cas fear love, but of Cas not loving him back. He couldn't bear the thought. As much as Dean has admitted his fear to Sam, only for Sam to say he's sure Cas loves him back, Dean still has his insecurities. Most of his insecurities came from Meg. Yes, she is dead. And yes, she had said he was his boyfriend first, but he couldn't help but be insecure. And jealous. Mostly jeslous. It was the jealousy of wishing Cas had been his pizza man is what made him realize he had fallen for Cas. They have had their ups and downs, he's been a total jerk to Cas. He can't help but fear that he scared Cas away. Yet it was times when Cas seemed jealous, like when he called Samandriel 'heaven's most adorable angel'. Dean didn't feel bad, hell he hadn't thought anything of it, until he saw the look of disappointment on Cas's face. That was the moment he realized he had feelings for Cas. Dean wanted –no, needed- to just know Cas had feelings back for him. He would surely cry if Cas didn't love him back.
As Dean stood, gasping to breathe through his thoughts. Am I more insecure or nervous?... and when did I turn into a teenage girl? "Dean? You ok there, buddy?" Sam asked, bringing Dean back to reality to where he had been standing for a few minutes.
"Yeah Sammy, I'm fine."
"Well are you ready to go?"
"Yes."
"Then let's go."
Dean couldn't believe this, he was getting into the impala, being driven to his date with Cas by Sam. After about 10 minutes, they arrived. "Ok Dean, we're here." Sam tells Dean. Dean spots Cas sitting on a bench.
"Here we go." Dean says getting out of the car, walking to Cas. "Hey, Cas," he says smiling.
"Hello, Dean." Cas says smiling, looking into Dean's eyes. He chuckles.
"What's so funny?" Dean asks, concerned.
"Oh nothing," Cas replies, laughing more. "Are you a little nervous, Dean?"