A/N: Alright... so here I am finally posting this. It is a story I have been working on, writing and rewriting for many years, but never actually posted. It will be in first person POV as it seems to flow better with the content. It starts out a bit... clunky I think, but exposition and back story and all that XD
Please let me know what you think!
It had been one month since I started at Meioh Private academy when the dreams first began.
Every night -or nearly so- it always starts the same. The smell of the breeze coming in from my open window. The window I made very sure to close each night before laying down. And then a voice in the darkness. I remember the first time I heard it. I sat up, my eyes searching my room, before meeting with a pair of golden eyes looking in from my window, almost glowing in the light of the moon... And every night since, even on nights when the moon was covered.
At first I was frightened, and as my eyes slowly adjusted, and the creature came into view I was unsure whether I should be even more frightened, or relieved. In my window sat an almost white, many tailed fox, eyes locked onto my own. Even from that very first dream he knew my name, he greeted me with it. Our first conversation was nothing special. The fox called my name, and asked me if he could stay and chat. It seemed harmless enough, but I asked what drew him in. "Your energy... it is unique, I couldn't help but be curious about what creature could give off such a strange aura." He stated simple enough. And despite his appearance his voice was deep, and nearly shook me, and his words were calm and articulate.
On night two I asked him many Questions and his replies were vague, as if just enough to sate my curiosity. I sat up, and looked at him, my blankets tight around my slender form. "You know my name... but what is yours? I should know that at least if you plan to visit me anymore." He chuckled... I never thought a fox could make such a noise, but then I never thought they could speak either.
"You may call me Youko, for now at least." Vague... and simple... but it was enough.
"Alright... and how is it.. that you can talk? I have never heard of a talking fox before." Another laugh, his many tails swishing around him.
"You are only wondering that now? Though it is not really worth an explanation. Best to say it is because this is a dream, as it was last night, and as I am sure you are aware, dreams do not follow the logic of the waking world." It was almost annoying how well he side swept my questions, while still answering them truthfully. Though as the nights wore on I began to feel almost anxious to see if he would visit me again, and found myself rushing through my homework, my dinner, and even cutting out hobbies in order to get to sleep a bit earlier to see if he may appear.
Our conversations have grown more and more in depth each night since first we spoke. I have learned a bit about him... not a lot. I have learned that he is a fan of plants, and botany; a hobby we seem to share. And he says he has been around for many centuries, and enjoys puzzles, and things that test his wit, though so far he has not told me much else. And I feel as though there is something he wants to know about me, but he seems to be working towards it patiently. Really though, he could have asked me just about anything and I would answer honestly.
Two weeks had passed since first the fox entered my dreams, and it is almost sad to admit, but even though he is only a dream, he is the closest thing to a friend I have managed to find since moving to my new school. But to be completely honest I have never had many friends... and they never seem to last for long, and nor do my schools.
Since starting Junior high I have moved schools five times, and have moved houses half as many times. I know my mother is only trying to help. She is trying to protect me, but she doesn't seem to realize that moving doesn't help for long... and it is not doing my grades any favor.
I was a strange child... strange in the fact that I was weak, and often ill. I grew so sickly at age five that my mother, and doctors alike did not think I would recover. But my father refused to give up... but after his interference I only grew to be stranger.
Doctors said it was strange, but not unheard of. The details are fuzzy, but what I know for sure is that I made a full recovery, almost over night, and my hair went white. They said it was because of the physical stress I was under... but that is not how I remembered it, and after that I began to feel, and see things that I had never before noticed. But telling other kids about the ghost looking at us from the trees, along with having ghostly hair myself... it has never lead to anything but infamy at best. "Granny" "Freak" "Spooky girl"... of course the insults and nicknames grew more and more creative, and harsh, and so what could my mother do?
She tried to dye my hair, but it wouldn't hold. She tried to get me counseling, but they just wanted to put me on pills, and so instead of telling "creepy stories" to cope, I just decided not to talk unless I had to... which of course made me all the creepier. With this move we decided to try something else... and at least so far it seems to be working, though I hardly recognize myself in the mirror. My eyes are the same... still odd, at least for japan, but odd in a way that I love. They are bright, and green, even when shrouded by the dark, straight fringe of the wig I have worn each day to school.
Night sixteen started differently. My eyes opened before I heard a voice, and before the outside air hit me. My heart sank in my chest as my eyes searched the room, a familiar knot forming in my throat. The feeling of being stood up... I laughed quietly, breaking the silence in my dark empty room. It had been a tough day at school, and weirdly enough at the lowest point in the day I felt a strange uplifting, almost like excitement and for a moment during my lunch it almost felt like I could sense the fox, like he was there in the school with me, but it faded nearly as quick as it rose within me. Yet now, here I was being stood up by my own subconscious. The one outlet for speaking my thoughts gone, even from my dreams.
My pale, shaking hands lifted to my face as I took in a deep breath, wishing to leave the limbo I had entered. Not awake, but still in my room, alone with nothing but my thoughts, I was so lost in the negative mood that I almost did not feel the pressure pushing down at the foot of my bed.
"Koyosei? It seems I was a bit late this evening. Not often I see you with your eyes open first." I jumped as the voice reached my ears, my eyes lifting to the window which remained closed, and sinking to the corner of my bed. Two dark paws fading into silver fur, a pointed muzzle tilted as the fox sat at the floor, front feet on my blanket and a curious look in his golden eyes. "You seem off this evening." He stated, hopping to sit at the edge of the bed, tails dancing around him.
"I thought you weren't coming... I guess I was a bit disappointed." I said, tugging roughly on my blanket, trying to pull it free from beneath him, though it made little sense why. I didn't want paw prints on my bed, but it was only a dream, I nearly laughed at the realization. Though his features changed slightly, as if offended.
Rather than responding to my words he scoffed. "I am not welcome past your window sill? Or are you just not a fan of animals." My eyes widened. My cheeks burning.
"S-sorry. I... I didn't want you to leave prints. I have no pets... so it would be hard to explain..." I muttered, my eyes shifting away from the creature. Which drew a guttural laugh from him.
"You are strange, and amusing... How many times must I explain, this is a dream. Any evidence of my being here is in your mind alone." I nodded, though my gaze stayed on the shadows that danced over my floor as the clouds shifted outside the window.
"Youko... Why do you visit me?" I finally managed to ask, though my voice was low, my hands still shaking. Another scoff.
"Hm. Hard to say exactly. I had not intended to visit so often when first we met. I suppose you have me curious." He stated, a hint of contemplation in his voice.
"What are you curious of?" My voice came out harsher than intended, perhaps I was still feeling hurt from his tardiness... or annoyance at his intrusion onto my bed.
"Many things concerning you. But I prefer pleasant conversation, and working towards finding my answers, rather than outright interrogation. Though I could be more direct if you prefer." His golden eyes narrowed slightly as he spoke, and a chill rose up my spine, his words almost feeling dangerous as they left him. They left me frozen for a moment, and drew my gaze to his, my lips parted with surprise.
"I prefer... not to be toyed with, and I can tell you have some... reason you aren't sharing..." I said, fidgeting with the blanket in my grip to help me build the courage to continue speaking. "I... I am not saying I don't enjoy your company... or that I want to be interrogated.. but you rarely answer much, and sneak in questions... I would like you to be honest..."
"He chuckled softly, nodding slightly. " I see... then perhaps... you would prefer a game? It seems you could use a bit of uplifting tonight.. So if you prefer I will ask more directly what I want to know. If I believe your answers, perhaps I will reveal a bit about myself in return." I shouldn't admit it.. but my heart fluttered at his proposal. Finally I wouldn't feel completely jerked around! And I was not about to reveal I would answer him regardless of reward.
"Alright... that sounds fair."
"First question then... what has you so distraught this evening, aside from my being late." My eyes narrowed, thinking back on the day.
"Well... I am not sure what you know about school... I have mentioned my school to you before, but... basically there are a lot of people my age there, and people my age are jerks. There were some bratty girls... I... I am used to being picked on and stuff, but I wasn't expecting to be picked on so quickly here. It's a private school... My mom paid a lot of money to get me in, because I don't have the grades to warrant it, and it's already the beginning of the end. It starts with light teasing. Bratty girls, or rude boys whispering, spreading rumors about me, and then teasing... and then outright pulling my hair, or tripping me.. or worse." My eyes narrowed. "I know it's silly to worry about such little things... but it worries my mom, and she will start looking for another school. Today I was walking to class and heard a couple girls whispering about me, and later in the day, just before lunch one of them slapped my book bag away from me, and the other came up as I went to pick it up, and 'accidentally' tripped me and knocked me to the ground."
"I know I shouldn't be so down about it... but at this rate I give it... another month? Two tops before I am looking at another brochure and learning a new schedule." As she finished speaking his expression was unreadable, though his glowing eyes narrowed slightly.
"I see... question two... Why is your hair dark during the day, and light when night time hits?" My eyes lifted, as I stifled a laugh.
"First you tell me something about you. I won't bother asking... you will just find a way around it if I do so." For a second it looked as though I could see a grin on the foxes lips.
" Very well... The form you see me in, is one of many I can take on... and one that has been lost to me accept when in this world of dreams."
"So... is this not just 'my' dream?..."
"You have a question to answer." My eyes narrowed. Annoying as ever.
"A wig... My hair is naturally white.. or silver... or grey.. however you care to describe it. When I am out in public I wear a wig to help blend in slightly. You don't often come across a fifteen year old with grey hair..."
"Why is it grey?" I smirked, shaking my head. His own rule, it was his turn and my lips were sealed. This game of his was funner than I had thought it would be. With a sigh he closed his eyes.
"This is just your dream... but that does not mean that I was created by it."
"That is hardly an answer!" I groaned. "And hardly worth my next!"
"Alright.. more information then... I can exist outside of your dream, but not as you see me now."
"Really?! Then how would I see you?" Another strange flutter in my chest. He was after all the only friend I had, and the thought that I could speak to him while awake. I admit I was more than a little over excited at the thought.
"That I will not tell you... but then, how could you know if this conversation is real, or just a figment of your mind? So answering would only lead to more complications in your life, don't you agree. Better I remain quiet on this, than you spend your waking hours seeking a phantom of your own creation." His words caused my heart to sink... but something about them felt false, though I could not place it exactly.
"Doctors say because of physical stress... but I remember the day it went white. I was out in the forest with my father... I shouldn't have been. I was very weak. I was sick as a child. My heart was weak and my respiratory system was as well. I couldn't run, or play, or walk very far without losing my breath. I even fainted a few times, so I was always bed ridden. My parents took me to specialists, but they said it was likely I wouldn't live to adulthood, and that bringing me to regular checks, and keeping me from over exerting myself could at best help to prolong my life a little. But.. my father took me to the forest on a small camping trip. He seemed anxious, so mom agreed to let him take me... maybe because she thought he wanted to make memories before it was too late... Anyways, he preyed and preyed out their in this field that had a strange, but really comfortable feeling about it."
"I saw something while there.. it doesn't make a lot of sense... It was like a human tree with willow branches for hair that had these... whitish blossoms all down them... but it reached out to me, and I fainted. When I woke up I felt more energetic then I ever remember feeling before, and I was able to play, and run and not get sick... but my hair was white... all of it... all at once. I never got a chance to ask my dad if he saw it too... or at least I never thought to do so.. but I know I saw it."
My room was quiet for a long moment, as if he was considering my words. "And you have been healthy since?"
"Mostly... I mean... I have had the occasional cold here and there... nothing serious..."
"Did anything else change at that point?" My eyes narrowed slightly.
"That's three questions... Where is an answer for me?" Again the room was silent as I awaited my prize, lifting my arms to fold sternly at my chest. A rumbling sound escaped him. Almost as if groaning as he thought.
"How about this... if you answer this, and your answer is worth anything... I will show you another form of mine..." He finally said, some hesitation in his voice. "A fair trade for three answers I would say.)
"And if it's 'not' worth anything?"
"Then I will tell you another of my alias' " he stated simply. I shrugged, reluctantly speaking, my curiosity driving me to do so, though his game was having less and less appeal.
"I... started seeing odd things... and feeling things... I said they were ghosts, or monsters as a kid... though the counselors mom took me to said that they were just me having an over active imagination, that it was a coping mechanism... something to help me deal with facing mortality at such a young age and to make sense of things too big for my mind to wrap around. But I still see them, and feel them. I even thought I sensed your energy earlier today." His eyes widened at the last words I spoke which left me curious, though before I could say anything or ask anything he jumped from my bed to the floor, walking towards the window.
"I see..." He said before pausing, his front paws lifting to rest on my window sill as he glanced back at me. "Our time for the night is nearly up... but I will keep my word." A strange haze overcame him briefly and I saw a strange silhouette shifting... morphing and standing. My eyes went wide as the haze around him cleared. Before me stood a man, though it took me a moment to realize the gender. He was nearly as tall as my ceiling, his fox ears still present, knifing through long, sleek, silver hair, which framed the fairest face I had ever seen in person. He was dressed in white robes, a single silver tail swishing behind him. And though he was completely different from the fox I had spoke with, his eyes were the same; narrow, feral, and golden. Despite saying he was many centuries old it was hard to believe as he stood before me, he certainly looked mature, with filled out shoulders, and a well muscled, lithe physique.
Still if he was centuries old it was not apparent in his soft features, his cold eyes being the only hint to his true age. I was shaken, my cheeks burning as I looked on at him. Surely he was a figment of my imagination. There was no other explanation for such a beautiful person to spend each night in my company, or to be curious about me.
"Youko?" I breathed out, finally finding my voice through my shock. I shifted to get up from my bed, wanting a closer look at the tall being before me, but before I could stand, he spoke, then disappeared through my window once again.
"Forgive me.." Were his final words before he left, and suddenly I felt a cold wash over me, before my eyes blinked open to the morning light.