Title: Jitters (1/1)
Author: Melissa
Email: princessbuffy79@hotmail.com
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Come on, if I owned any of these characters, would I be
begging anyone to please read my stories? Sadly, Buffy and co. are
owned by Joss, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, The WB, and whoever
else holds rights. I'm just borrowing them for my own twisted
pleasure for the moment. K.O.???
Summary: Short piece, no summary needed.
Spoilers: None really
Distribution: If you want it, go ahead. Just let me know where it's going.
Feedback: Feedback is good, very good.
Buffy stared at her reflection in the mirror. Unhappy with her clothing choice, she ripped off her dress and threw it on top of the quickly growing pile. She rushed over to her closet and thumbed through her remaining selections.
Frustrated, she turned away, hands on her hips. "I don't have anything to wear!"
Willow offered a knowing smile. "Buffy," she said gently. "Calm down. We'll figure something out."
Buffy flopped down on her bed and sighed. She couldn't believe she was so nervous. Her heart raced, pounding so hard it was surprising that her weak bones could contain it. "Why am I so scared, Will?"
Willow turned toward the Slayer on the bed. "Because first dates suck," she answered honestly. "Here, what about this?" Willow pulled a lacy pink top from the closet.
"Ugh!" Buffy stuck out her tongue in distaste. With a wave of her hand, she dismissed it, "Too frilly!"
Willow held up a short, red skirt. "Makes me look fat," Buffy decided.
"Buffy, you never look fat!" Willow argued. Receiving a heated glare from Buffy, the witch looked away. "Okay. No it is," she said, adding it to the pile.
Willow tried again. After Buffy turned down ten more outfits, she gave the Slayer an ultimatum. "Buffy! I'm going to pull out one more outfit and you're going to wear it or…or I'm going to do something really bad."
"But!" Buffy lifted her head and looked at her best friend. Noticing Willow's resolve face, Buffy gave in. "Okay," she said meekly.
Willow smiled, satisfied with Buffy's response. She began to scour through the closet, staring deep into its abyss. Finally, she found what she was looking for.
"Aha!"
Buffy shot up when she heard Willow's triumphant cry. She looked at the redhead expectantly. "Okay Willow, make my night better."
Willow smiled and pulled out her find. She held up Buffy's favorite blue leather skirt and a simple white top.
"I can't wear that!" Buffy cried.
Willow looked confused, "Why not?"
"Because," Buffy paused, thinking about her answer. "He's already seen that."
"Buffy, he's already seen everything you own," Willow reminded her.
"Oh yeah, forgot about that...But..."
"No, buts," Willow argued. "This is your favorite skirt so you'll be comfortable," Willow grinned, "Besides, blue is his favorite color."
Buffy returned her smile, understanding the logic. "I guess you're right."
"I know I'm right," Willow replied. "Now go put this on," she commanded.
Buffy swiftly changed into the outfit Willow had picked. She moved quickly, hoping her hands would stop shaking. She was terrified.
"I can't breathe," Buffy complained, turning toward Willow.
Willow noticed Buffy and struggled not to laugh. "That's probably because your shirt is on backwards."
Buffy glanced at her reflection. Groaning, she pulled her arms out of the sleeves and turned the shirt around.
"That's a little better," Buffy mumbled. She sat down on the bed and sighed. "What am I doing, Will?"
"What do you mean?" Willow asked.
"This," Buffy motioned around her room.
"Hurricane Buffy?"
Buffy smiled slightly before settling once more into silence. "What if he doesn't like me?"
"Who?" the redhead was genuinely surprised. "Xander?" Buffy just nodded her head in response. Willow reached over and gently touched Buffy's hand. She could sense the Slayer's jitters. 'Boy, she really is scared!' "Xander has loved you since the beginning. But that love has changed over the years."
Buffy looked worried, "Is it because I rejected him? There were so many times that I never noticed…"
"Buffy," Willow interrupted. "I was going to say his love is stronger now."
The blonde stood up and began pacing. "But what if that's not enough? Will, I can't lose him now that I've truly found him."
Willow understood what Buffy was really saying. She watched as her friend wore a path in the carpet. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. "Buffy! Sit down!" Startled, Buffy sat down immediately in the middle of the room. Willow sighed, trying to find a way to calm the Slayer down. "Buffy, when did you change your mind about Xander?"
Buffy thought carefully about her answer. "I can't say exactly." She stopped and Willow waited patiently, knowing Buffy would continue. "It started after Riley left, I guess. Xander was the one who pointed out some really ugly truths about my relationship and it hurt." Buffy felt tears forming in her eyes. "He was right, though. I thought of Riley as a convenience. Someone to be there only when I wanted him to be. That wasn't fair to him, I know that now. And once again, Xander knew me better than I know myself."
"We started spending more time together. And something changed. It was so subtle, I almost didn't notice. I began to realize how much I missed him when he was gone. Everything he said held new meaning. I knew it was a crush when I found myself staring at him, just watching him talk. He's got that way, you know. Of talking with his hands. And when he gets excited, his eyes do this little crinkle thing. It's so cute!"
Buffy grew somber again. "And then Anya left." Willow wanted Buffy to continue. The blonde had calmed down considerably as she talked about her new love. Buffy smiled a wistful smile. "He was so crushed. He really did love her. I felt horrible too. It was almost as if I lost someone. Xander withdrew into a shell and my heart broke."
Buffy sniffled and wiped the tears away as they made paths down her already damp cheeks. "That is when I knew for sure that I loved him. I felt his pain. His pain was my pain. And well, you know the rest."
Willow nodded, "Yeah, I know the rest. But why don't you tell me again?"
Buffy smiled and recalled that fateful day, only a week before. "Well, I was able to get him to open up again. It took time, but I finally felt Xander was ready to move on. He was laughing again. I will never take that sound for granted again. It's more beautiful than any song."
"Our friendship had gotten so strong, Willow. But I longed for something more. He came to campus on his break so we could have lunch together…"
"And?" Willow prodded.
Buffy couldn't hide the trace of anger that entered her voice. "And he started pointing out all of the beautiful women. Telling me where they would go on a date, what they would do, what they would wear. I was devastated. I knew then what it was like for him back in high school. I wanted him but he wanted them. Or so I thought. I was so mad. I was going to hit him. I swear I was. But then…"
"But then he told me, 'Buffy, those girls are beautiful, don't get me wrong. But none of them hold a candle to you.' And I kissed him."
"He told me that you totally shocked him," Willow confided.
"Yeah? Surprised myself too," Buffy admitted. Her face grew dark once more. "What if I screw this up?"
"You won't," Willow said certainly.
"How can you be so sure?"
"Oh, that's easy," Willow paused, laughing inwardly at how close attention Buffy was paying. "Buffy, nobody knows you better than Xander. He already knows your faults, your strengths, and your weaknesses. Trust me, he's in this for the long haul."
"Really?"
"Really." Both girls jumped at the male intrusion. Xander stood in the doorway, his eyes on Buffy. "Dawn saw me coming up the drive and let me in," he explained.
"How long have you been standing there?" Buffy squeaked.
"Long enough," Xander replied. He watched Buffy's face grow pink and smiled. Moving forward, he grabbed her hands and pulled her up off of the floor. "Buffy, you never have to wonder about my feelings for you."
The couple was so focused on each other they never saw Willow sneak out the door. "I love you. I know this is only our first date, and anywhere else, that would seem as being forward. But this isn't anywhere. This is the Hellmouth. And you're not just anyone. We have hurt each other and we have grown apart. But Buffy, we have always found our way back to each other." Buffy smiled shyly at Xander and he continued, "As far as I'm concerned, we are forever. I'm not about to let you go now that I finally have you. So, what do you say? Care to join me on a trip to happily-ever-after?"
Buffy laughed at his corny conclusion. Corny, but sweet. "I'd love to. Just let me tell…Will?" Buffy quickly glanced around her room for the redhead.
"Hey Dawn! Wanna learn some magic? There's this one spell that'll help clean…" Willow's voice became muffled as she headed away from Buffy's room.
Xander smiled, "Didn't it sound like she was...?"
"Right outside the door?" Buffy finished. She leaned forward and her lips gently brushed his. "She's happy for us, you know?"
"Yeah, I know," Xander agreed. "I'm happy for us, too. So, shall we?" Xander offered his arm to Buffy and she gladly accepted.
"Xander?" Buffy murmured as they exited the room.
"Yeah, Buff?" Xander glanced at the petite blond in awe. They were really doing this. He couldn't believe his luck. He didn't believe life could get any better than this very moment.
"I love you, too."
Nope, he was wrong.