POKING FUN AT ARYA.
The world of Eragon belongs to Christopher Paolini who I pray has a good sense of humor.
A/N Arya really needs a good roasting, so here goes.
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Tell her she is just a Mary Sue wannabe, but will need silicon implants to qualify.
Tell her that there is mob of angry Mary Sues outside armed with pitch forks and blazing torches who want to get her out of the way once and for all.
Tell her Eragon is way hotter than she is!
And Murtagh
And Durzah
And Galbatorix
And Shruikan.
Tell her we saw how she "accidentally" showed Durza her leg when he captured her. She really wants him to shag her stupid.
We also saw how there was NOTHING holding her on that table in Durza's dungeon. She really thinks he is just a big spunkfest!
Tell her Eragon is only after her for her clothes.
Slash her with Petunia Dursley.
Photo shop her into a really lovie dovie Christmas Card with Durza and send it to EVERYBODY!
Tell her she looks like a diesel dyke in that warrior outfit. If it looks like she is taking that as a complement, quickly change your mind and tell her she actually looks like a tacky drag queen.
Tell her that outfit made her butt look HUGE!
Tell her she is supposed to be an elf. She obviously forgot to put on her ears for the movie.
Tell her Durza has been pimping her around the streets of Gilead.
Then tell her that he couldn't get anyone to have her, even if he paid them.
Well who would want to go where he had just been! Teehee.
Ask her if her hairdo at Farthendur was on purpose?
Tell her you know a couple of Urgals who reckon she's a real foxie bitch and want her phone number.
Tell her you think the Urgals are prettier.
Tell her she's such a one dimensional character you really can't think of anymore ways to make fun of her.
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Well that made me feel a little better. Drop me a review and let me know if it helped you.