The disclaimer telling you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters is off watching cartoons on the Internet. Just something that came up as I was also watching certain cartoons on the Internet.
A Show of Support From The Brotherhood
"Do I really have to do this?" Pietro grumbled as he went in front of the camera.
"In a word? YES!" Todd snapped.
"This is stupid," Pietro said.
"Since when has that ever stopped you before?" Lance asked. "Do it!"
"Fine!" Pietro sighed. "Hello friends. This little announcement is in response to a certain cartoon featuring a certain clawed Canadian that's being shown on the Internet for like a minute before being taken down because heaven forbid that people in the United States can't watch it along with the rest of the planet! I don't know what the big deal is. I mean come on! Who really needs to see a show about Wolverine and how great he is anyway? He's not so great!"
"Getting a little off track aren't we?" Todd asked.
"Like we didn't know this wasn't going to happen?" Fred said. "Could be worse. He could be talking about himself."
"I mean if you think about it, out of all the X-Men they could have made a cartoon about they chose him?" Pietro fumed. "Here's a little thing you might not know if you haven't read any comics lately…Wolverine kills people! That's the type of role model Xavier's promoting? To be fair they're not very nice people but still…come on! You would think they would make the cartoon about someone a little more family friendly? Okay not Cyclops because he's a dork. I get that. And Jean Grey? Don't get me started on her! But what's wrong with other mutants in the X-Men? Or better yet, who says it has to be an X-Man at all? Why not someone else? Someone more family friendly? Someone charming and handsome? WHY NOT ME?"
"Spoke too soon," Fred sighed.
"I mean come on! Look at me! I'm fast! Handsome! Perfect in every way!" Pietro shouted. "Is it really so unbelievable that I could get a cartoon about me? I mean they made one about that bald kid that could bend air and all that other stuff! Why not me! I've got a full head of hair! Perfect hair!"
"Excuse me Pietro," Todd walked over with Fred, Pyro and Lance. "But have you forgotten the point of this little announcement here? Like we have to remind you every Christmas, this day is not about you!"
"I am Quicksilver, every day is about me," Pietro snorted.
"Do you want me to burn your underwear while you're wearing it again?" Pyro asked.
"Or better yet, get your sister over here?" Lance said.
"Okay, okay let's not go crazy here…" Pietro put his hands up.
"Too late," Fred quipped. "Pietro you promised…"
"Because you made Wanda zap me into the wall repeatedly until I agreed!" Pietro said.
"That's not true," Pyro said. "We didn't make her. She volunteered!"
"I don't know why you're making me do this! Just because that other me in that other cartoon did something…" Pietro groaned.
"Just get on with it!" Todd snapped. "Or I'll get Wanda. And this time we'll let her use those thumbtacks! And the rabid hamsters."
"Okay! Okay!" Pietro held up his hands. He turned to the audience. "Apparently on this new Wolverine cartoon there was this one episode where their version of Toad got caught by these mutant Gestapo agents and there was some talk of possibly leaving him in there because he, well wasn't exactly pulling his weight."
"That Quicksilver only broke into the base to take a picture to see that Toad's face when he told him he was dumping him yo!" Todd fumed. "And while we are on the subject I really do not like the way I was pictured yo! Like I was some kind of mutant reject that was only good for sliming stuff and was a weak useless little creep."
"Yeah, that was a real exaggeration of character there," Pietro rolled his eyes.
"Don't get me wrong, I liked the way I looked," Todd said. "Green is a good color on me but come on! Why couldn't I be depicted as a real tough guy like in that first X-Men movie yo? Okay I got fried like a chicken from the South but still at least I didn't go out like a wuss yo!"
"Please! Toad I've heard you scream! Sometimes I mistake your screams for my sister and then I remember she doesn't scream like a sissy!" Pietro snapped.
"Quicksilver, you're the one who screams like a sissy!" Fred said. "Even cheerleaders can't tell the difference between you and one of them!"
"Knock it off, Pietro!" Lance said. "We all agreed we'd support Toad on this one!"
"Oh come on Lance who cares about Toad?" Pietro folded his arms.
"A lot of people do! I have a fan base," Todd puffed. "A big one!"
"Since when?" Pietro asked.
"Check the Internet sometime!" Todd snapped.
"I don't think websites you put up yourself count!" Pietro shouted.
"Okay Quicksilver! You asked for it!" Todd said. "Hey! Hey! All Toad fans out there in TV and Computer land! This is the Toad asking for your help. I need you to prove to Quick-Sap over here that there is a lot of love for the Toad!"
"What are you gonna do? Ask 'em to clap their hands and believe?" Pietro mocked by clapping his hands. "I do believe it smelly frog boys! I do believe in smelly frog boys!"
"Don't mock the power of suggestion Pietro," Fred bristled. "You don't wanna get the fans mad!"
"Don't mock the power of suggestion, Pietro," Pietro mocked. "Come on! Even if, and that's a big if, Toad does have one or two fans out there what are they gonna do? Turn off their computers? Write angry e-mails? Oooooh! I'm so scared of anonymous reviews!"
"Oh yeah?" Todd snarled. "Fans of Toad! If you want to help me! I want you to imagine a big giant pin hitting Quicksilver in the butt! Right now!"
"Oh for crying out loud!" Pietro snorted. "That is the stupidest….YEOW WHAT WAS THAT?" He leapt up. "SOMETHING BIT ME!"
"Now imagine Pietro getting zapped by a bolt of lightning!" Todd grinned.
"Wait a minute…YIKES!" Pietro barely dodged a bolt of lightning. "Nice try Toad! You got Storm in on this don't you? YEOW!" He got zapped in the behind.
"Oh you think this is Storm don't you?" Todd folded his arms. "Okay Mister Smart Guy! Explain this! Now fans imagine a pack of mutant squirrels attacking Pietro!"
"Now that is the…OH MY GOD!" Pietro screamed as he was attacked by several squirrels with glowing eyes. "GET THEM OFF OF ME!"
"I thought you were gonna use the hamsters?" Lance asked.
"I was but they got a call for a movie deal," Todd told him. "So I got the hamsters instead."
"OW! OW! THEY'RE BITING ME! OWWWW!" Pietro screamed as he ran around with squirrels clinging to him. "AND THEY'RE SCRATCHING ME WITH THEIR LITTLE NAILS! OWWWW!"
"Hey that looks like fun," Fred grinned. "Can I try?"
"Knock yourself out," Todd grinned. "Or better yet, knock Pietro out!"
"Okay uh…Fans of the Blob…Make a banana peel for Pietro to slip on!"
"AAAHH!" Pietro screamed as he slipped and crashed into a wall.
"Cool! My turn!" Pyro said. "Pyromaniacs! Make Quicksilver get a hot foot!"
"OW! OW! HOT! HOT! HOT!"
"I've got one," Lance grinned. "Avalanche Lovers! Send a cloud of hail and lightning to follow him around!"
"YEOW! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Pietro screamed as he barely dodged hail and lightning.
"Nice touch," Pyro said. "Where'd you come up with that?"
"Let's just say it wasn't always Wolverine who interfered when I went to serenade Kitty at night," Lance grumbled.
"YEOW! OKAY! OKAY! QUICKSILVER LOVERS HELP ME OUT OF THIS MESS! JUST MAKE IT GO AWAY! GO AWAY!" Pietro screamed as he ran around wildly, still being chased by squirrels, hail and lightning. "HELLO? ANYBODY OUT THERE! COME ON! YEOWWWWWW! WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS WAITING FOR? HELP ME ALREADY!"
"I believe we've made our point," Todd said. "Okay guys you can stop now."
Suddenly the squirrels ran off and the cloud disappeared. "Okay Quicksilver Fans! What were you doing? Going on a bathroom break?"
"Just read the statement!" Todd snapped as he handed him a piece of paper.
"Fine!" Pietro grumbled and read from the paper. "Toad is a valued member of the Brotherhood. We would never ever imply otherwise. Or leave him in a mutant detention facility without rescuing him. In fact if he was a prisoner we would risk our lives to save him even if he didn't have any information to give us."
"Keep going," Todd said.
"Toad is a great team mate," Pietro rolled his eyes. "A great friend and a great lover? Oh give me a break!"
"That can be arranged," Fred said. "We can always get the squirrels back here to do it."
"I know where this is coming from," Pietro huffed. "This is from that stupid Cauldron incident where we had to fight to get into Asteroid M and you failed! That's where all this insecurity is coming from!"
"I got over that a long time ago," Todd said. "Especially the fact that Mystique got left behind too."
"This bit of insecurity comes from more recent events," Lance said. "You know? When you joined your old man in ditching us and using us as bait for a twenty story high metal mutant hunting machine? And then you left us only to return and treat us like servants? Any of that ring a bell?"
"Now that I think about it, I think I've got a statement of my own for you to read!" Fred snapped. "Once I write it down…"
"Sorry Blob we're out of crayons," Pietro snickered.
"See! Those are the type of comments that make you so unpopular around here," Todd said.
"Hey! I am the leader of the Brotherhood…" Pietro began.
"Only in your own mind," Lance glared at him.
"Why are you all ganging up on me and defending Wart Boy?" Pietro said.
"Because no matter what Toad ever did to us it was never half as bad as all the crap you put us through!" Lance yelled.
"Oh come on! You can't seriously tell me that you guys like Toad better than me!" Pietro was stunned.
"Let's just say if this was a reality show, it wouldn't be Toad that would get voted off the island," Fred folded his arms.
"Yeah that other Quicksilver isn't that much different from ours if you think about it," Todd nodded.
"What?" Pietro shouted. "That other Quicksilver is nothing like me! In fact I think that portrayal of me is grounds for slander! I mean this version of Quicksilver is stupid and self absorbed and a whiny overgrown brat whose stupid plans are a desperate attempt to win his father's love!"
"And how exactly is that different from you?" Lance asked.
"He does it wearing green uniform," Todd snickered.
"Oh right," Lance said. "Wearing an unflattering color is definite grounds for slander!"
"I know! It's…" Pietro began then stopped. "Hey! Hold on a second! Name one thing that Toad is better at than me! Just one thing!"
"Well he's a lot better listener than you for one thing," Fred said. "I can always go to Toad no matter what problems I have and he'll listen!"
"That's because he has no social life!" Pietro fumed.
"He's better at video games than you are," Pyro added. "And he can draw with his feet!"
"Oh yeah that's some criteria for being a valuable member of the Brotherhood!" Pietro groaned.
"When you dumped us at least he helped kick in some cash by stealing stuff," Lance said. "He didn't hog it all for himself!"
"So what? Toad's like Robin Hood? Robs from the rich and gives to the stupid?" Pietro mocked.
"Okay how about this reason?" Lance folded his arms. "Because of Toad always distracting her with his stupid attempts to be her boyfriend, Wanda's too distracted to get her real memories back? You know, the ones where she gets really mad and wants to kill you?"
Pietro blinked for a moment. Then put his arm around Todd. "And that is why I must strongly protest this outrageous, and I mean outrageous slander on our dear friend Toad!" He shouted to the audience. "That cartoon is anti-Brotherhood propaganda from the Xavier Propaganda machine which clearly believes that unless a mutant has spectacular powers, he's not worthy of anything! But we in the Brotherhood are for all mutants! Whether they be all powerful or like this one here. This is an organization for the mutants, by the mutants! All mutants are created equal! We shall overcome!"
"I know I'm overcome," Lance grumbled. "Overcome at how quickly the little silver haired weasel can change his tune."
"Shut up Lance!" Pietro snapped. Then he smiled at the camera and squeezed Todd's face with one hand. "Look at him! How can anyone not love this face? Such a loveable adorable little amphibian here! I love this guy! MUWAH!" He kissed his forehead.
Then Pietro grimaced. "Oh god ...I think something just crawled on me! AAAAAAHHH!" He ran off. "Disinfectant! I need disinfectant!"
"Oh get over it Pietro! I know it can't be fleas or something! I ate them all!" Todd shouted. "I think…"
"And people wonder why we always lose no matter what universe we're in?" Lance groaned.