This is my first fic. I hope it's better than most of the shitty Ninjago stuff on here. Please review.
Long before time had a name, The First Spinjitzu Master had a pot field where he grew his dank weed. Now an evil presence wishes to get that weed and smoke it all. That evil is Lord Garmadon, he is my brother. When we were kids we enjoyed getting stoned. But our father died and there was only a small amount left. So I created a team of six bisexual ninja who would defend my dank ass weed and deal it to kids. This is their story.
Dear diary: I decided that I should start a diary (Nya told me that this would make me less stressed), so here it goes.
I have a deep love for Nya, more love than a brother should have for his sister. The way she sways her hips really accentuates her perfect ass. She is perfect in every way. She is strong, yet nimble. Her tits are ginormous. Here adorable bob cut is amazing. Just thinking about her is making me drool. The only issue is, she's my sister. There's no way we could ever do it, she wouldn't let me. So I guess I'm stuck jerking off to the memory of seeing her and one of the local village people doing it out in the small rice field outside the shop. Anyway, I should get back to work.
As Kai walks out to the front area of the small blacksmith's shop that he and his sister live and work in, he hears the voice of an old man. That old man has a voice that sounds like a British person that wants to be an Asian. Kai enters the room and sees that the old asshole isn't buying any of his shit. In fact, he's going on about the ugly ass gong that's on the wall. Kai then grabs a sword and jumps at the old man saying, "I will cut your mother fucking head off if you don't buy anything you old fuck. This place is called Four Weapons, not For Browsing. Either buy something of get the fuck out of my store you piece of shit! Seriously, go fuck yourself you homeless prick!" In response the old man said, "Fine, I thought I might find something special here." After hearing that, Kai said, "wait, do you want some of the good shit? We have plenty of that." He then notices that the old man left. He relaxes and stares at the narrow winding path on on the skinny cliff he and his sister live on. Out of fucking nowhere a bunch of skeletons on a four wheeler show up. They are clearly all drunk considering none of them can drive in a straight path. They hit the guy who Nya briefly dated when she was twelve and stopped. The one with the four arms steps out and points his daggers at Kai. Out of nowhere the old man shows up spinning in a golden tornado. He misses the four armed asshole. The guy with the four arms says, "Wu, it seems that with age your Spinjitzu has become rusty as fuck." Wu responds with, "nothing like bone to sharpen it's ADHD, Samukai." Wu and Samukai begin to fight. They both fight like drunken assholes. Samukai yells at his Bros telling them to get the girl. The two skeletons launch their giant skeletal grabby thing and grab Nya. She then strips down in an attempt to escape. They then let go of her clothes and grab her. She struggles but cannot get free. Once she gets on the skeletal four wheeler she noticed something, the skeletons have boners poking out of their loincloths. She thinks fast and grabs one of them. She begins stroking it off. It's a very weird sensation because their dicks are made of bone, but they seem to be enjoying it. So Nya goes down and begins sucking on the skeleton in the helmet's dick. The other skeleton says, hey, why don't I get anything? I want to have my cock sucked! Kruncha, this isn't fair!" Kruncha responds with, "If you're so desperate, stick it in her ass, you numbskull!" As Nuckal sticks it in Nya's ass, Nya let's out a loud scream.
Back at the front of the store, Sensei Wu and Samukai are fighting. Kai decides to join in. He grabs a sword and a helmet and steps outside, ready for battle. A different skeleton that has a jester's hat steps up and grabs his sword. He swings at Kai, causing a cut right where his left eye is. Kai then notices that the skeleton isn't paying any attention to him. It's almost as if the sword is doing all the work. So Kai fights, knocking the sword out of Krazi's hand and onto the floor. Krazi then backs away scared. Kai stabs his sword through Krazi's chest, causing his appendages to fall off. Sensei Wu swings his staff and hits Samukai in the jaw, causing him immense pain. In that moment of pain, Samukai throws his arms up, letting go of his daggers. Sensei Wu uses Spinjitzu and grabs Kai right before the daggers fall. After being saved Kai says, "Hey, old man, use your fidgetitzu to get my sister back from those skeletons. They seem to be raping her!" Wu retorts with, "It's Spinjitzu, and she seems to have started it. Also, why do you have an erection? She's your sister?" Right as he says that Nuckal creams in Nya's asshole. They then drive off. "What the fuck, we need to go get her back!" Says Kai. Wu responds with the only thing he can say, "Where they go, we cannot follow. At least we still have the map." "What map?" Kai asks. "That map responds Wu". He is pointing at the spot where the sign used to be. Again, Kai asks, "What map?" Wu notices that the map is gone. He begins freaking out. He explains that the map will lead Lord Garmadon and his dope skeleton army to the four golden weapons of Spinjitzu, that if united, will show the secret location of The First Spinjitzu Master's dank ass garden.