This fic is officially dedicated to Mandy.
Anyone else who likes Vin a lot also has a piece of dedication, too.
This is kind of a weird fic- I meant for it to be funny, but it ended up somewhere between funny and serious. Take it in stride. Love it or hate it, let me know. I'll probably rewrite it.
*imagines life with Vin plushies* Oooo...

"And though we didn't know the guy for very long." Daxter paced on the podium, occasionally tripping over his striped tie. "And though he shot at us repeatedly when we were trying to save him, and though he drove us all crazy with his technical talk-"

Torn glanced at his watch. They'd been outside for the past two hours, sitting in uncomfortable chairs and sweating under the sun. The hair ball was the second-to-last to offer final thoughts. Casually, Torn pointed his gun at the ottsel. "Get to the part where you honor him," he said, voice low.

-and nearly ran me over TWICE- uh, heh heh." Daxter adjusted his tie. "We all loved him very much. Thank you." He hopped off the podium, scurried over to Tess, and curled up in her lap. "Can you take this tie off for me, doll face? It's getting kinda hot out here." He held up his paws. "And I don't have any thumbs." He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Vin was a great man," Sig boomed, dwarfing the podium beneath him. "There aren't many men I know who can keep cool during a Metal Head attack." He leaned forward, putting one hand to his chin. "And Vin wasn't one of them. But he did know how to hardwire a reduction static quantifier without so much as a volt of backlash, and that's why I admired him." Sig patted his Peace Maker. "In fact, one time this baby had an electrical jam while I was in the middle of an ambush. Vin radioed the anticoagulation code right away- probably saved my life." He patted the closed casket. "Best of the best. Sorry to see you go. Wastelander's salute." He jutted his head and fired twice into the air.

Torn nodded to Sig as he took the man's place. "A moment of silence." He bowed his head. Everyone in the folding chairs did as well. "This concludes our day ceremony. The lowering of the casket will take place at midnight tonight, as tradition goes for those of Vin's status. Pall bearers." He pointed at Jak and Sig. "Please come a half hour early to prepare for the burial." They nodded. "Anybody have anything else to add?"

No one moved.

"Good. Now get outta here."

Jak sighed and took a swig of whatever-the-hell Tess had given him. Vin's two part funeral was half over. He couldn't honestly say he felt anything more than a passing sadness. I didn't know him for more than a month, he thought. I mean, our total conversation time was an hour, tops, and I didn't know what he was talking about most of the time.

On the other side of the counter, Tess inspected her nails intently.

Mar, this city probably owes everything to the man. Who knows how much chaos he prevented over the years, thought Jak. And none of us knew anything about him. He took another swig. "Ugh, Tess." She looked up. "This is terrible."

"You asked for something that would cheer you up."

Jak squinted into the bottom of the mug. "It's not working."

Tess shrugged and pulled a bottle of pink nail polish out from beneath the counter. "Give it a minute."

I feel worse about not knowing him than about him being dead. His stomach growled. Ugh. Note to self; do not drink anything brownish green Tess gives you in the future.

"Clear the aisle, sweet face! Genius coming through!"

Jak looked up. Tess snatched her nail polish bottle off the counter as Daxter ran down its length, grinning. He held a paper bag over his head triumphantly. "Guess what I got here!"

"Oo, what is it?" Tess purred. She clasped her hands together.

"It is the workings of a brilliant mind." Daxter pointed to his head with one hand, nearly dropping the bag. "What I have here will both astonish and astound you."

"Oo! What is it?" repeated Tess, her eyes sparkling.

Daxter reached into the bag. "This is the melding of comfort and grief, business and mourning, marketing and death, hand sewn 100% all natural cotton fibers and-"

"What is it?" Tess gritted her teeth.

Jak snorted and looked back down into his mug. He tasted bile.

"Presenting Daxter's brainchild of the month- the Vin Plushie!" He held up the stuffed figure.

Tess and Jak stared.

The plushie looked just like Vin did- if he were a bit chubbier and had giant eyes painted behind his glasses. Daxter squeezed it and it squeaked.

"Umm... I like it," Tess said uncertainly.

"That's horrible," said Jak. He swallowed, feeling ready to heave.

"What are you talking about?" Daxter tapped one foot impatiently. "This is pure genius! Listen!" He squeezed the plushie.

"A-are you sure you wanna touch that?"

Tess' eyes widened. "It can talk?"

"Yeah!" Daxter squeezed it again.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you!"
"Watch out! Metal Heads!"
"I can boost the esterification process by increasing the amount of subfluxing anions in the charger."
"AAAAHHHH!!"

"Great, isn't it?" Daxter wiggled his eyebrows. He held it by the arms, making it dance.

"Daxter." Jak took it from him gently, not wanting to move too fast. "I think even you should realize how disrespectful this is."

"What do you mean?" Daxter frowned. "I'm gonna sell these things for forty bucks a pop! We'll be swimming in the money!" He tried to take the plushie away.

Jak held it behind his back. "I just don't think that's the right way to honor Vin," he said. He groaned.

Daxter scowled. "Sure it is. He's dead, he doesn't care. His likeness gets spread to all the children in the city, bringing happiness and plushie-ness and a secret formula for green eco bombs wherever it goes."

Jak's eyes widened. "Green eco bombs?"

"Daxxie," Tess said quickly, gathering him up in her arms. "I think what Jak is trying to say is that there is a time for this sort of thing, and it's not right now. People still need to get over Vin's passing. Then we can celebrate his life."

"I don't think this is something he'd want." Jak threw the plushie on the counter.

Its speaker activated. "To make your very own green eco bomb- Daxter, I don't wanna read this, I think it's dangerou- okay okay! Put the blaster gun down. You take half a standard of green eco-"

Jak squeezed the plushie's middle until the squeaker box inside snapped. "It's just not right!" He ran out, covering his mouth.

"Jeez, what's his problem?" Daxter looked at his broken creation.

Tess shrugged, putting the mug into the sink. "I think maybe I put too much happy spice in the mustard beer."

"Yealch." Daxter made a face. "Look what he did!" He scooped up the plushie. "If he had half the business brains I do, he'd know that consolation products make up three fourths of the gross sales in this city! Everyone's sad all the time! Just publicly martyr Vin, flood the market with these little guys." He squeezed the silent plushie. "And everyone feels better! Heck, I'll build a freakin' statue with some of the profits if that's what Jak wants!"

"That's a sweet thought." Tess hugged him. "But it is kinda spooky. I mean, we're just burying him tonight."

"You should be amazed I thought of this the same day." Daxter scowled. "I know if I died I'd want Jak to mass produce my adorable, furry body in plushie form and live in comfort for the rest of his life. That miserable jerk." He put out his arms. "I mean, it wouldn't take much of a genius to put the two together. I'm pretty plushie myself right now."

"That you are," said Tess, smiling.

"In fact." Daxter cozied up to her. "If you felt like squeezing my plushie self-"

"Snuggle time's over, cherries," Sig shouted. Daxter jumped. "There's a sight to see outside, and it ain't pretty."

"What is it?" Tess pulled away from her furry companion, to Daxter's dismay. "What's going on?"

Sig sat on a bar stool. "Jak's sick."

Daxter crossed his arms. "Serves him right," he said.

"Why?" Sig nodded to Tess as she pulled up a drink.

"He broke my plushie."

"He broke your what?"

"My Vin plushie!" Daxter shook it in Sig's face. "This was going to be the greatest memorial doll in the world and Jak broke it!"

Sig glanced at it. "That's a weird thing to be shaking in a grown man's face." He took a gulp of the drink. "The chili peppers would love it, though. You could make a profit offa that."

"Thank you!" Daxter pointed at Sig. "Did you see that, Tess? Some people around here know how to live off a bad situation."

"Should someone go check on Jak?" she asked.

Sig shrugged. "He'll be fine in a bit."

***Two months later***

"Here you are, Bonny."

"Ooo mommy! A present!" Pause. "OOO!! It's a Vinnie! I love you mommy!! Everyone at school has one and now I have one and I'm so happeeeeee!"

"I can boost the esterification process by increasing the amount of subfluxing anions in the charger."


And thus the memory of Vin lived on, in the hearts and bedrooms of Haven's children.

Daxter did indeed build a statue of Vin, which was situated in the middle of the harbor (cost effective placement of a large object- city taxes get expensive when you build stuff on land!).

Jak was fine, but didn't let Tess serve him anything else after that day.

Torn and Ashelin dedicated the new wing of Haven's University in Vin's honor.

And Sig's Peace Maker jammed again, but that's another story.