Sleep, love, forever sleep...

Those words float around in my consciousness as I struggle to the surface. I can see the light that is my salvation. It is so close, I know if I reach out I can touch it. If I get to the light, I will be safe, I will be free. My monsters lie in wait for me in the dark. I just have to reach the light...

but when I extend my hand a thin web like the silk of a spider blocks my way. I push harder against the web. It curves to my touch, but doesn't break. I start to panic. My voice rises to a scream as I relentlessly beat against the web that imprisons me in the dark. I can hear my monsters laughing in glee when they see I'm trapped. I don't have to look behind me to know they are coming for me. I shout for the light to help me, but it remains out of reach, cold and uncaring. I see the light for what it is now. It is not freedom but slavery. If I step into the light there will be more monsters, and there will be nowhere to hide. At least in the darkness there are shadows.

I turn to face my attackers now knowing the light will never help me. I turn just as startling blue eyes overtake me...

Sleep, love, forever sleep...

I scream again and sit up in the bed I share with my monster. "Lauren," the concern is tangible in his voice, "what is it?" He turns to face our bedroom door which is still locked and bolted. For a moment there is silence while he scans the room for what has frightened me. He only has to look in a mirror, but he can never know that.

I swallow hard and wrap my arms around myself to quit shaking. I realize a thin layer of sweat coats my body. My throat hurts from screaming. My breathing is coming in shallow heaves that burn my lungs. The dream had been so real. In the next second, I am being pulled into a warm embrace. I don't have the strength left to fight it. And honestly I don't want to.

He slides his arms around my body and pulls me against his chest. I can feel his heart beating against my cheek. The heat from his body sends chills over my skin, but almost instantly I stop shaking. "It was a dream?" His voice rumbles. I can feel every word.

I swallow hard not yet trusting my voice. He gives me my time. When I finally do speak, I think I am in control of myself again. "Yes, I couldn't escape - " I start shaking again at the thought, and he must feel it because he presses me tighter against him. There is something comforting about his hold on me. He is a solid rock on which I can stand in the midst of the storm, yet I know with one wrong word this rock that supports me would crush me without hesitation.

I shiver, but the moment passes.

He doesn't ask anymore about my dream. It is not the first nightmare I've had with him. He knows I don't want to talk about it, and he has never made me. His breathing is even and strong under my head. Within minutes, he is asleep again. I know this because his last word as he falls asleep is always my name, "Lauren..."

I lay there for a long time, not daring to sleep. I think about the man I'm lying next to. He has been wonderful to me since the day we met three months ago, more wonderful to me than any other man has ever been. I had not been subtle in my affections to him. It was my job to entice him, and I had done my job well. Our first three meetings were all guns and flirtations, but on our forth meeting he had asked for more than weapons. And I gave it to him. Because it was my job, my duty. At least that's what I had told myself. I couldn't admit then that I was slowly falling for him myself.

That had been over two months ago. A month ago, I moved into his home.

That was when the nightmares started.

They were always different except for one thing: I could never escape those eyes, those damned beautiful blue eyes. I was trapped inside them like a fly in a web, or maybe, I thought, I was simply attracted to them like a fly to honey. The results were the same. I died either way. This fly had to find a way out, but those damn eyes...

I shake my head causing him to stir slightly and grip me tighter. I return his embrace without a thought. I laugh inwardly. "What I stupid fly I am," I mutter, "falling in love with a spider."

The grey blue light of dawn begins to filter in through the French doors of our bedroom. This day will be like any other we share. Once the sun has ascended over the distant hills, Ian will wake up to begin his day. Perhaps we will make love before he leaves for "business." My spider will leave the web and I, the fly, will once again attempt to escape. I have "business" of my own today. I have a briefing with Tsia at noon. This afternoon I have a weapons rendezvous which I will deliver to Ian and Liam, his general. Then tonight, the fly will return, because she must, because she is ordered to.

At least that's what I tell myself.