Disclaimer
I never have, never will, can't, not legally allowed to and am too incompetent to own the X-Men. I don't own Mr. Rogers, any form of a music band, and a submachine gun.
Warning
If you find this offensive, good. I hope so. If you would like to file a complaint to me, feel free to do so. I really don't care. In fact I like mail, so go ahead! Make my day! Squirrel out.
This the second part to When Squirrels Attack
Those who helped choose an ending, thanx and make you never be bitten by a rabid squirrel. If you didn't vote, *Mr. Squirrels blows a raspberry *.
You chose the ending so don't blame me, so go read and find out what ending won. And remember the squirrels are all around us at all times, watching and waiting for us to make a wrong move, so beware! Bawhahaha! The squirrels are coming…
When Squirrels Attack * Part 2
*Read part 1 first, otherwise you will mistake me for an even bigger psycho*
"Oh my!" The Professor cried as he walked out of the X-mansion.
Rows of squirrels were lined up to take their revenge on the human race for sending poodles and Chihuahuas to kill their comrades. The squirrels had forced many other animals into helping them and most of them wanted revenge too, anyways. Except for the cats and hippos they were too lazy to give in or do any work. In the air there were falcons carrying squirrels with parachutes made of leaves. On the ground the local animals from the zoo came and then the squirrels rode them there were squirrels on elephants. In the front was Mr. Squirrels ready to lead the army.
"Chip Cherrie!" The squirrels yelled in unison wave upon wave of squirrels came down the hill.
"X-men attack!" The Professor order.
Storm, Rouge, and Warren took to the air, to battle the squirrel airforce.
It was like Blitzkrieg. Squirrels dropped behind the X-men catching them off guard. Within minutes they were surrounded.
Scott furiously attacked but was under fire from walnuts that could explode. Scott backed up against the mansion to get away from the walnut grenades. From above him a squirrel jumped from the roof at him with coconut in hand and smashed it against his head so hard the coconut cracked in half. Cyclops fell to the ground unconscious.
From the air Magneto appeared out of no where to join the fight. Using his magnetic powers he swung a metal bench at the squirrels. This was very effective until another squirrel from the roof threw a large goat carcass at his head making him fall to the ground. He fell behind the enemy's lines and was immediately attack by rapid squirrels that started to nibble at him to death.
Remy ran out of cards so he started to charge any thing he touch even the dead squirrels.
In the air things were just as bad. Archangel, Rogue, and Storm were barely able to fend them off. The flying squirrels started to cling onto them and carry them into trees and smashing them against rocks.
"X-men retreat!" Xavier yelled. Immediately, the X-Men ran for the mansion.
"Let's go catch the news. See if there's anymore squirrel attacks," Wolverine suggested.
They all flicked on the news and watched the latest report TV. The only thing on was the news. Squirrels were attacking everywhere. So far they have been attacking large cities and military bases.
The squirrels outside the mansion left to attack New York but they would be back. The X-Men watched as the news report showed the squirrels taking over a base in Germany. Soldiers were running around with rabid squirrels chasing them or nibbling them to death. The squirrels even managed to take over a tank and ran ramped through the streets, blowing up everything in sight.
By the time the X-Men stopped watching the news, Berlin, New York, Chicago, Moscow, London, Paris, and Washington D.C had been taken over. Soon, hundreds of squirrel dictator were torturing large amounts of people.
"I knew em fur balls were up to no good!" Rouge thundered.
"You didn't have dem tie you to a tree an' beat you! They be pure evil!" Remy complained.
"Everyone come get load of what they are doing now!" Wolverine yelled at them.
On the TV was Mr. Squirrels there was a translator next to him.
"[Now I order the human race to become our slaves and feed me nuts! You have seen squirrel power! We shall keep attacking many places with abundance of fruits and nuts. Also we shall burn all vegetables we find!]," Mr. Squirrels chirped into the mike and then left.
"Yes it's about time some one got rid of eggplant!" Shouted Scott.
Then the Professor came in. "The squirrels have returned!" He told them all fearfully. Out side the rows of squirrels returned in greater numbers. "Try aiming at them through the windows."
Again the squirrels came down the hill. It was no use the squirrels used their superior climbing abilities to get over the walls. They poured in to the room and were hit over the head with twigs until they were out cold.
When Wolverine woke up he was in Beasts lab and was surrounded buy many squirrels.
"[Surrender mutant!]," Mr. Squirrels ordered.
"Never fur balls!!!" Wolverine hollered at him.
"[Fine]," Mr. Squirrels replied calmly.
The door opened and Professor X came in.
"What are you going to do with him?" Wolverine asked a bit scared. They didn't answer.
The squirrels placed Wolverine into a large tube across from the one they were placing Xavier in.
"[Turn it on!]," Mr. Squirrels ordered.
The squirrel flipped a large switch. Immediately gases came in and knock Wolverine out cold.
When he woke up he was still in the room but something didn't feel right. The squirrels took him into a cell where the rest of the X-men were placed.
"What happen' to your hair Wolverine?" Remy asked. Everyone started to laugh at him. Then the Professor came in except he had the same hair Wolverine had. Wolverine got an odd feeling. He felt his head nothing was there he looked at his arms there was no hair.
"XAVIER HAS MY HAIR!!!" He thundered.
"There is other news. The squirrels took over the world and we are their leaders personal slaves." Scott said sadly. "All we get to eat is eggplant and if were lucky, soy milk."
"Out of al de vegetables, day picked eggplant!" Remy moaned loudly.
Then a large group of squirrels, with small coats and submachine guns, came to take them to their new leader, Mr. Squirrels.
They were taken out side to pool where there were many other squirrels, it looked like the squirrels version of the PlayBoy mansion. On the throne was Mr. Squirrels. He gave them all their first orders as his slaves. Rouge, Jean, and Storm were ordered to fan him with palm leaves. Remy, Wolverine, Warren, and Beast were given the task to collect a verity of nuts for him to eat. Xavier and Scott were given special tasks.
"[Xavier since you are old I have no use for you! Take him to the spit to be cooked for to nights feast!]," He pointed to the large spit that was already made for him.
"Oh my!" Xavier said quietly eyes bulging out of their sockets. Two giant Albino squirrels took him over to the other side of the pool to be cooked alive. Squirrels came over to poke him when he was in on the spit to see if he would be tender, others sat that pointed and giggled at him.
"[As for you Cyclops you will entertain me by singing soprano loud enough for all of us to hear!]." Even though it was very bad and made his love Jean loose her hearing and question why she ever loved him, the squirrels enjoyed it. Other days they made him sing Celion Deion, Four Seasons, and N*SYNC and other very idiotic, crappy music like that.
This was the beginning of the squirrel empire that would last a thousand years until Mr. Rogers came out of frozen animation more winkled and hideous than ever and the mere site killed every one on Earth.
And remember, the squirrels know where you live…
I never have, never will, can't, not legally allowed to and am too incompetent to own the X-Men. I don't own Mr. Rogers, any form of a music band, and a submachine gun.
Warning
If you find this offensive, good. I hope so. If you would like to file a complaint to me, feel free to do so. I really don't care. In fact I like mail, so go ahead! Make my day! Squirrel out.
This the second part to When Squirrels Attack
Those who helped choose an ending, thanx and make you never be bitten by a rabid squirrel. If you didn't vote, *Mr. Squirrels blows a raspberry *.
You chose the ending so don't blame me, so go read and find out what ending won. And remember the squirrels are all around us at all times, watching and waiting for us to make a wrong move, so beware! Bawhahaha! The squirrels are coming…
When Squirrels Attack * Part 2
*Read part 1 first, otherwise you will mistake me for an even bigger psycho*
"Oh my!" The Professor cried as he walked out of the X-mansion.
Rows of squirrels were lined up to take their revenge on the human race for sending poodles and Chihuahuas to kill their comrades. The squirrels had forced many other animals into helping them and most of them wanted revenge too, anyways. Except for the cats and hippos they were too lazy to give in or do any work. In the air there were falcons carrying squirrels with parachutes made of leaves. On the ground the local animals from the zoo came and then the squirrels rode them there were squirrels on elephants. In the front was Mr. Squirrels ready to lead the army.
"Chip Cherrie!" The squirrels yelled in unison wave upon wave of squirrels came down the hill.
"X-men attack!" The Professor order.
Storm, Rouge, and Warren took to the air, to battle the squirrel airforce.
It was like Blitzkrieg. Squirrels dropped behind the X-men catching them off guard. Within minutes they were surrounded.
Scott furiously attacked but was under fire from walnuts that could explode. Scott backed up against the mansion to get away from the walnut grenades. From above him a squirrel jumped from the roof at him with coconut in hand and smashed it against his head so hard the coconut cracked in half. Cyclops fell to the ground unconscious.
From the air Magneto appeared out of no where to join the fight. Using his magnetic powers he swung a metal bench at the squirrels. This was very effective until another squirrel from the roof threw a large goat carcass at his head making him fall to the ground. He fell behind the enemy's lines and was immediately attack by rapid squirrels that started to nibble at him to death.
Remy ran out of cards so he started to charge any thing he touch even the dead squirrels.
In the air things were just as bad. Archangel, Rogue, and Storm were barely able to fend them off. The flying squirrels started to cling onto them and carry them into trees and smashing them against rocks.
"X-men retreat!" Xavier yelled. Immediately, the X-Men ran for the mansion.
"Let's go catch the news. See if there's anymore squirrel attacks," Wolverine suggested.
They all flicked on the news and watched the latest report TV. The only thing on was the news. Squirrels were attacking everywhere. So far they have been attacking large cities and military bases.
The squirrels outside the mansion left to attack New York but they would be back. The X-Men watched as the news report showed the squirrels taking over a base in Germany. Soldiers were running around with rabid squirrels chasing them or nibbling them to death. The squirrels even managed to take over a tank and ran ramped through the streets, blowing up everything in sight.
By the time the X-Men stopped watching the news, Berlin, New York, Chicago, Moscow, London, Paris, and Washington D.C had been taken over. Soon, hundreds of squirrel dictator were torturing large amounts of people.
"I knew em fur balls were up to no good!" Rouge thundered.
"You didn't have dem tie you to a tree an' beat you! They be pure evil!" Remy complained.
"Everyone come get load of what they are doing now!" Wolverine yelled at them.
On the TV was Mr. Squirrels there was a translator next to him.
"[Now I order the human race to become our slaves and feed me nuts! You have seen squirrel power! We shall keep attacking many places with abundance of fruits and nuts. Also we shall burn all vegetables we find!]," Mr. Squirrels chirped into the mike and then left.
"Yes it's about time some one got rid of eggplant!" Shouted Scott.
Then the Professor came in. "The squirrels have returned!" He told them all fearfully. Out side the rows of squirrels returned in greater numbers. "Try aiming at them through the windows."
Again the squirrels came down the hill. It was no use the squirrels used their superior climbing abilities to get over the walls. They poured in to the room and were hit over the head with twigs until they were out cold.
When Wolverine woke up he was in Beasts lab and was surrounded buy many squirrels.
"[Surrender mutant!]," Mr. Squirrels ordered.
"Never fur balls!!!" Wolverine hollered at him.
"[Fine]," Mr. Squirrels replied calmly.
The door opened and Professor X came in.
"What are you going to do with him?" Wolverine asked a bit scared. They didn't answer.
The squirrels placed Wolverine into a large tube across from the one they were placing Xavier in.
"[Turn it on!]," Mr. Squirrels ordered.
The squirrel flipped a large switch. Immediately gases came in and knock Wolverine out cold.
When he woke up he was still in the room but something didn't feel right. The squirrels took him into a cell where the rest of the X-men were placed.
"What happen' to your hair Wolverine?" Remy asked. Everyone started to laugh at him. Then the Professor came in except he had the same hair Wolverine had. Wolverine got an odd feeling. He felt his head nothing was there he looked at his arms there was no hair.
"XAVIER HAS MY HAIR!!!" He thundered.
"There is other news. The squirrels took over the world and we are their leaders personal slaves." Scott said sadly. "All we get to eat is eggplant and if were lucky, soy milk."
"Out of al de vegetables, day picked eggplant!" Remy moaned loudly.
Then a large group of squirrels, with small coats and submachine guns, came to take them to their new leader, Mr. Squirrels.
They were taken out side to pool where there were many other squirrels, it looked like the squirrels version of the PlayBoy mansion. On the throne was Mr. Squirrels. He gave them all their first orders as his slaves. Rouge, Jean, and Storm were ordered to fan him with palm leaves. Remy, Wolverine, Warren, and Beast were given the task to collect a verity of nuts for him to eat. Xavier and Scott were given special tasks.
"[Xavier since you are old I have no use for you! Take him to the spit to be cooked for to nights feast!]," He pointed to the large spit that was already made for him.
"Oh my!" Xavier said quietly eyes bulging out of their sockets. Two giant Albino squirrels took him over to the other side of the pool to be cooked alive. Squirrels came over to poke him when he was in on the spit to see if he would be tender, others sat that pointed and giggled at him.
"[As for you Cyclops you will entertain me by singing soprano loud enough for all of us to hear!]." Even though it was very bad and made his love Jean loose her hearing and question why she ever loved him, the squirrels enjoyed it. Other days they made him sing Celion Deion, Four Seasons, and N*SYNC and other very idiotic, crappy music like that.
This was the beginning of the squirrel empire that would last a thousand years until Mr. Rogers came out of frozen animation more winkled and hideous than ever and the mere site killed every one on Earth.
And remember, the squirrels know where you live…