Nerima Oddities
By: Killpura Kat
For: present for Lunaludus-Sama's birthday
Author's note: So, he didn't tell me what series he wanted a fanfic for, so I just wrote a random Ranma 1/2 fic.
This actually came from me standing in the shampoo and conditioner aisle at the supermarket, trying to figure out which kind is the type that doesn't mess up my hair. I'm not entirely sure, because I used to just buy the type in a blue bottle before they changed styles and now everything looks different, and I started to wonder if other people felt that sort of frustration.
I'm not sure why Ukyo was the first anime character to pop into my head, but she was. She was shortly joined by Mousse because the display for contact lenses and reading glasses was right there as well.
So, uh, enjoy the random, pointless fanfic!
Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma or any of his Nerima associates. That should be obvious. Takahashi-sensei is responsible for that maddening bunch of weirdos. I'm just borrowing them to mess with them.
Some places boasted incredible weather. Lightning storms of terrifying proportions… dust clouds hundreds of meters wide… droughts and floods of magnificent symmetry… Truly, planet Earth was a marvel.
Equally mystifying--or so it seemed to the residents of Nerima--was how often freak showers would come and go in perfect synchronization with the number of unprepared, water-cursed individuals outside. Or the precision of such showers to only strike in the areas where said individuals gathered, leaving other parts of the city--even neighboring blocks--untouched.
Ukyo supposed she was somewhat fortunate. She had never been to Jusenkyo and had no curse, barring the bad luck that came with her engagement to Ran-chan and the harem of hussies that panted after him.
And ingredients. Lately, her luck with ingredients had taken a turn for the worse.
Which was why Ukyo was silently fuming in the baking aisle, holding six different boxes of flour and trying to decide which was the correct type for okonomiyaki at the lowest price per ounce.
It was obviously a conspiracy planned by the food companies. They were trying to drive her mad and make her waste all her free time at the grocery store. Free time she should have used to better her cooking or get closer to Ranma.
She had already been shopping for an hour and Ucchan's would need to open soon if she wanted to catch the afternoon rush.
And she couldn't pick out the right freakin' flour!
"This is ridiculous!" she growled, shoving all the boxes back on the shelf. "Who needs this much variety? What the heck would you use half this stuff for, anyway? And why'd they have to change all the packaging?" She snatched a random box and sneered. "I don't need to see breasts plastered on everything, I need an ingredient list I can comprehend!" The box was chucked at the shelf, causing most of the items there to fall over into disarray.
Privately, she didn't just blame the Japanese food companies, but also the American ones. They were so fussy about choices! Stupid culture! They couldn't even make pizza correctly.
"Try this one." A long white sleeve shot in front of Ukyo's face and plucked a green box from the shelf before dropping it into her basket. Ukyo eyed the Chinese writing on the box before glancing up.
"We use it and it works well for most things," Mousse clarified, adjusting his glasses. He peered at the selves lined with Japanese products. "When did they get all this stuff in? It looks completely new."
"A few months ago," Ukyo clarified. "There was a promotion and everything and suddenly I found myself having to decide on a whole new pantry. Thanks for the tip." She pointed at the box of flour. "I'll try it."
The Chinese packaging probably wouldn't change for a while. Mousse just shrugged off her thanks.
Had Shampoo or Cologne tried to help her, Ukyo would have immediately suspected foul play, but Mousse wasn't her enemy in the competition for Ranma. If anything, he was a rarely appreciated ally, although he did try to beat up Ran-chan a bit too frequently.
Not that he ever really got the drop on Ranma, though.
Mousse pulled a piece of paper from his sleeve and peered intently at it as if it was written in some alien language. "Which aisle has the disposable contacts?"
"That way. Aisle six or something," Ukyo pointed, turning to leave for the checkout. It was getting late.
She stopped as Mousse's words sank in. She turned back to the Chinese boy. "Are you going to switch to contacts?"
Privately, she liked him with glasses. They were an easily exploited weakness.
"No, I have to use contacts and glasses together." And Mousse wandered off in search of the item, almost knocking over a display for ramen as he disappeared down the aisle.
Ukyo chuckled. She'd never heard of anyone with vision so bad he had to wear both contacts and glasses and was still half-blind. She was still sniggering as she finished checking out and walked outside.
A light drizzle had started up. Ukyo glanced about, half-wondering if Ranma might make an appearance. It was highly unlikely he would show up before she cooked the food, though. His style was more to drop in at the exact second everything was ready to be eaten.
"Ugh, rain," Mousse grumbled, appearing beside her. He glanced out from under the awning, eyeing the falling drops with animosity.
"Sorry, I don't have an umbrella," Ukyo said, wishing she could help him. Just in return for the help he'd given her earlier.
"That's okay, I have one somewhere…"
Mousse trailed off as he fished through his sleeves for the hidden item. Ukyo could hear the jingle of many throwing knives and other weapons as he shifted his garment, determined to find that umbrella.
Of course, as per the laws of Murphy, at that moment a car drove by, hit a puddle, and splashed the distracted Chinese boy. An irritated quacking started up and followed the car as it disappeared down the street. With one last loud honk, Mousse gave up trying to tell off the long-gone driver and settled for looking miserably at the bags of groceries he could no longer carry back to the Neko-Hanten.
Ukyo found she couldn't stop giggling at the drenched fowl. But Mousse looked so ruffled and upset that she took pity on him and picked up his fallen bags.
"C'mon, Mousse, my shop isn't far from here. I'll get you some hot water."
The duck adjusted his glasses and seemed to consider the offer for a second before enthusiastically nodding. He then bundled his robes onto his back--a great trick indeed with feathers instead of fingers--and began to follow Ukyo down the street.
None of the passersby thought anything of the sight.
Ukyo couldn't help but wonder how a puddle that held less than a cup of water at the most could be splashed in such a way as to soak a grown man. She chalked it up to Nerima weather being selectively strange.
Almost as strange as a duck following her home for a kettle of hot water.