It's only Monday and I'm already for the weekend... I find a bit of Fiyerba fluff always makes up for it a bit. For this reason, yet another ALAYM ficlit. Because I could :)
What I'm feeling now
Has no easy explanation
Reason plays no part
Heaven help my heart
I love him too much
What if he saw my whole existence
Turning around a word, a smile, a touch?
The first thing that crosses your mind is simple. What is he thinking? There is no clear explanation that could possibly explain his behavior. Why would he leave the pride and prestige of his rank, the adoration of the public, and a loving fiancé in his wake to do something most would call absolutely crazy?
Especially with someone such as yourself.
Then you realize you are asking the wrong question. Never mind what was he thinking. Perhaps the better question would be what were you thinking? How could you allow him to do something so stupid. Something that, thanks to recent events, could do nothing worse than get you both killed. You wonder what would even cause him to entertain the thought of running away with you, the most wanted woman in the country and how he could be crazy enough to go through with it.
Perhaps the most confusing aspect of it all is what he could possibly see in you. You know that you are no where close to the type of woman he is used too. You know that even though you loved him, just as you've always loved him, you would have never dreamed that he could reciprocate those feelings.
You wonder what he would do if he knew the whole story. Would the crooked smile that he is giving you now still be there if he knew what you were capable of doing? But then you realize that he does know. He is one of the few knows everything. Everything that happened that fateful day and everything that had happened since. And yet he is still here.
You heart speeds up as he cups your cheek in his hand and you realize that he is speaking to you. Something about a search, relief, and something that he has known all along. Through the haze of sensation that comes with his touch, you realize that his confession is one of love. At first, you don't believe him. You're afraid to believe him. How could he love you? What could you possibly have to offer him other than a lifetime of backward glances and no certainty of safety?
How can you make him understand that this could never be? How can you make yourself understand that you must let him go?
Then, you realize that there is no reason in a situation such as this. Every story you've ever heard of people doing crazy things for the sake of love comes flooding back and suddenly, you do understand. You understand the excitement of the unknown, the exhilaration of letting yourself love without restraint, and the relief that comes with knowing the one you love loves you wholly in return.
Most of all, it is when you are wrapped securely in his arms and are finally feeling the sensation of his lips on your own as you've long dreamed of, that you come to understand that sometimes, it's simply better not to understand anything at all.
Don't you know that time is not my friend
I'll fight it to the end
Hoping to keep that best of moments
When the passions start
Heaven help my heart
Reviews always make me feel better ;)