I do know own any of the characters. I merely toy with them to have personal fun that makes no money for me. I do play ALL of the Legend of Zelda games, so at least I know what I'm writing about. (I also own every single one that I've played. I can't wait for the Twilight Princess.) Also this is just a passage that I'm having fun with-stuff that comes off the top of my mind. Enjoy it, don't hate it.

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It was strange: Link had found himself, for once, free from any saving business. This included saving Ruto, the sages, the famous Princess Zelda, and, of course, Hyrule. Needless to say, this made a very pleased Link. However, after spending three weeks without any fairy constantly shouting, "Hey! Hey, Listen!", or any call of danger, the poor adult became board. His childish side had really most effect on him.

He had refused the invitation, at the previous moment after the slaying of the idiotic, neurotic, 'I want to take over everything' Ganondorf, of returning to his original time when Zelda had asked. Naturally, she pouted over his decision, like her own inner child who was ignoring Sheik's influence.

However, she quickly subsided and allowed Link to continue with his ways. In the mean time, whenever Zelda could grasp a glimpse of him trolling through Hyrule's Market, she would sigh as if it was spring and hormones had kicked her in the pink ass. Love was no match for her.

Link was like that; in a sense, he was always able to woo the ladies (And without even trying too). The poor thing had missed the portion of his life that marked women as sex objects. Instead, whenever Link did come close to an erotic state of manliness, usually found or felt when in the presence of Zelda, he would find himself merely sweating and blaming the tight clothes for the proper excuse. How innocent he was.

If only he knew that so many women would jump into his lap eagerly to be his and only his. If only…

But, the fact was he didn't. This, unfortunately, led to different problems, such as the one that inadvertently committed after the three weeks had passed.

It was soon the issue that Link found himself without his steed for the past weeks and worried over the fact that he should call to her. So, being so suave that he was, at times, he whipped out the fairy ocarina Saria had given to him (Zelda had taken the Ocarina of Time. She couldn't let Link have both the future and the precious artifact of the royal family!) and played Epona's song.

When no horse came into view, the hero was worried. Had Epona come the third or forth time Link played the song, she wouldn't be for blame for Link's transgression I, the narrator, mentioned earlier. Oh how innocent he was. The poor innocent fool.