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Ch. 1 Fuck Oatmeal

Tim, Steph, and Jason were at the table enjoying breakfast. Yes, even Jason's here; he said something about Roy and Kori needing "to fuck like rabbits," leaving Jason with no other option but to crash at the manor for a couple days. Damian had yet to wake up, most likely due to the fact that the authority figures of the Wayne estate were absent; Bruce, being away on a business trip, while Alfred was on a much needed and long overdue vacation. Tim and Dick were the unfortunate ones chosen to hold down the fort while they were away.

Stephanie had spent the night, since they had all come back from patrol utterly exhausted.

"Helloooo!" Stephanie smiled at the camcorder she was holding. "As you can see, my test subjects are behind..."

"You know that's not even on, right?" Tim said, cutting her off, looking up from his laptop.

Steph glanced at Tim and then the camcorder. She frowned."…I knew… never mind. Where's the 'ON' button on this thing?!" she grumbled, pressing random buttons. Having no luck in finding it, she gave a frustrated sigh.

"Hand it over," Tim said.

Defeated, she handed it over to him. Tim smirked as he pressed the power button, and presented it to her in triumph. "See? Was it really that hard?"

"No freaking way! I pressed that button!" Crossing her arms she huffed, "Stupid technology…"

"What are you doing anyway? Going to record us eating breakfast?" Dick asked with a mouthful of cereal, milk dripping down his chin.

Jason snorted. "Yeah, cuz nothing screams memorable moments like sleepy, grouchy people who need more coffee."

"Well… um… I have to do this project for my psychology class. The point is to basically study four different people, and I thought you guys would be perfect for it. And when the recording's done, I have to analyze behavior and other stuff… she trailed off. Seeing that none of them were saying anything she asked hesitantly, "So…what do you say?"

The three brothers exchanged glances before answering her in union:

"Sure! Why not?" Grayson said in enthusiasm.

"What's in it for me?" was Todd's immediate response, followed by, "and will I get more screen time than Dick?" as he stuck his thumb in Dick's direction pointedly.

"Are you going to record everything…?" Tim questioned in dismay.

Eyes wide, Steph help up a hand. "Whoa! One at time people!" Stephanie yelled, and the boys shut up.

After making a second explanation, and being positive everyone was on the same page, she asked them and all the boys gave their consent, with the exception of Damian who was still sound asleep, despite the ruckus that erupted from Steph's project.

"Yay!" she squealed in victory. Practically jumping up and down, she grabbed the camera to begin recording. Making sure it was actually on this time, she began with an energetic, "Hello audience! My test subjects are behind me. I will be filming the Wayne brothers. Let's say hello to the Wayne boys shall we?" she turned the camera towards Tim. "Say hello Timmy!"

Tim looked up at the camera shyly and awkwardly waved. He barely said, "Hi," before his gaze fell back to his laptop screen again.

"Timmy is sixte-" Steph started.

"Seventeen." Tim corrected, cutting her off, eyes still fixed on his laptop.

"Fine whatever. 'Seventeen' years old." Stephanie says, rolling her eyes. "Apparently I missed a birthday," she mumbled, while turning the camcorder towards Dick.

Sweeping her hands in a wide gesture in front of the camcorder, voice pitched lower, she presented Dick as if he was a prized endangered animal in an exhibit. "This next one I'm sure you all know, unless you've been living under a rock, is Richard Grayson."

Dick wiped the milk splashes from his chin, and with a smile spread wide, he, (unbeknownst to him) displayed some cereal still stuck in his teeth, and said "Hi!" He was also waving enthusiastically, blue eyes gleaming in laughter.

Stephanie's lips twitched in suppressed laughter, but she managed to stifle it in the effort to maintain some kind of professionalism. "Tell the audience a little about yourself, Dick."

He puffed up like a peacock and began with a confidence that was characteristic only for Dick. "Well my name's Richard, but everyone calls me Dick, and I'm twenty six! I'm also the oldest and, most importantly, handsome, of my brothers and…"

Jason snatched the camera from Steph, "Yeah, yeah, get over yourself Grayson. We don't need your whole life story. Or to suffer from your delusions." Jason fixed the camera to face himself. He smirked at Dick as he said, "Unlike some, I don't have a nickname that is usually used as an insult in common conversation." His eyes fixed on the camcorder with intensity. "My name's Jason Todd. Long story short, I'm the badass of the family."

Tim snorted and Dick rolled his eyes. Stephanie snatched the camera back and made it face her as she said, "Jason's twenty two." At that moment the youngest Wayne entered the kitchen.

"Good morning Damian, someone over slept huh?" Dick said, being the wonderful big bro of the bunch as he greeted him.

Damian rubbed at his eye and mumbled something that sounded like, 'fuck off.'

"And last but not least, here's the youngest Wayne! Say hi to the camera Dami!" Stephanie beamed, turning the camera towards him.

Damian glared at her for using that nickname,"…You have three seconds to remove that idiotic device out of my face before I break it, Brown."

"Jeez! Okay, okay." She turned the camera towards her. Rolling her eyes she mumbled, "Someone's in a good mood today…I guess we'll get his info later." Steph pressed SAVED and turned off the camera. She then happily went back to eating her waffles.

Damian, on the other hand, was searching for his breakfast. "Sorry Lil' D. No more doughnuts, Jason ate the last one," Dick said, putting away his now empty bowl in the sink.

Damian batglared Jason. "Todd."

"You snooze you lose, kid." Jason licked the chocolate of the doughnut off his fingers as he returned Damian's glare with a satisfied smirk.

"Ah, and no more waffles either, Stephanie got the last three," Dick added.

Damian fixed his glare on Steph. "Brown."

"Early bird gets the worm, Dami," she hummed. Then she gulped audibly when his glare began to intensify, but she continued to eat her waffles anyway without an ounce of guilt.

Damian reached for the cereal box, just to find it empty. He slammed the box down and turned to Dick with a glare. "You've got to be kidding me! Grayson! That was the last box!"

"Oops, sorry, I would've saved you some if I knew you wanted some," Dick said, shrugging his shoulders, looking completely unapologetic.

Appalled, Damian whined, "Is there nothing left to eat?! Did you miserable excuses for human beings eat everything?!"

"There's plenty of oatmeal left…" Tim said, pointing to the box.

"Fuck oatmeal." Damian turned his batglare on Tim, the only one left in the room who wasn't a recipient of the batglare until now. Tim visibly shrank under the intensity. Damian closed his eyes slowly, then opened them, shook his head, grabbed an apple, and stormed off as he left the room.

"Well guys, ignoring the diva, I can already tell this is going to be so much fun!" Stephanie perked up.

Thanks so much to my friend/beta Unnoticeable Person! (Attack hug again) You're awesome.