Well, Since I have no wifi for yet another week, except for school but, well, learning so.. I have decided to open up wordpad (one of the only bloody things that do not need internet on my toaster of a computer) and write a terrible fanfiction. Please note that I have no idea what i'm doing with either my life or this story. Lots of tears were put into this. Mostly me dying inside.

Without further adue, here is your crappy fanfic.

WARNING! VIOLENCE, SWEARING AND LOADS OF FRUSTRATION BEYOND THIS POINT!

MAGNUS POV (YES THE FREE-WHEELING BISEXUAL WARLOCK WHO USES WAAAAY TOO MUCH GLITTER HAIR GEL)

Why is love so difficult?, wait, no, let me rephrase that, why is Alexander so difficult? To put it quite frankly I dont see why he seems mad at me. Could it possibly be that I swapped all of his shampoo and conditioner with a more glittery version? Or possibly Chairman Meow sneaking on the bench and drenching his freshly made french toast with saliva? Maybe he isn't happy with the way I styled my hair? I just don't understand.

"Aleeeeeeeeeeeeec" I call. No answer.

"Baaaaaaaaaabe" Still no answer.

I burst into the bedroom to find him in nothing but a towel. Hair soaked, and skin still glistening. his blue eyes full of suprise.

"I could totally get used to this" I eye him up and down. He glares.

"What do you want Magnus, i'm busy" he spits. Yep still pissed. I stare for a moment longer before starting "Why are you mad? What did I do? How can I fix it? Alexandeeeeer talk to meeeee!" I plead. He sighs before sitting on the bed.

"look. You have things you are terrified of. So do I. Now can you PLEASE for the love of the Angel change the goddamn wallpaper"

"What? You don't like umbrellas? I found them quite cute" I state, eyeing his reaction.

"please, just change it. Those things are more evil than a greater demon, infact its probably Valentine in disguise" He glares at the wall.

"okay, okay, no need to get worked up love" I snap my fingers, and do the-as Clarissa calls it- weird Jazz hand dance. The walls are now the same bright blue as Alec's beautiful eyes.

I take a step towards him. Alec looks as if to say something but at that moment his phone rings. Of course he answers. I sigh.

"Duty calls, see you later maybe for uh lunch. 12, The park?"

"Anything for you Alexander" I say but he is already gone. I sink against the wall as a wave of dismission hits me. Grabbing my phone i'm already dialing the number.

"Hello? Magnus are you okay my dear friend?" The voice on the other side of the call inquires.

"Ragnor, I have nothing to do for 5 hours and I need a drink. Or several. Sound good?" I hang up the phone.

Several hours later and i'm not drunk enough. Ragnor retreated to his musty, unfashionable lir and It's such a shame the liqour cabinet is now empty. I check the time on my watch. quarter to 12. i decide to head over early so as to greet Alec. As I sit on the bench I glance at my surroundings. Lovely view of the lake, some disobedient children running around. Noisy brats. I start counting the seconds till Alexander arrives. Seconds turn to minutes, minutes to hours. Still no sign. I decide to call his mobile for the '000th time. Voicemail. Again. I head back to the appartment to find him crashed on the couch. A cut on his lip, some bruses but nothing serious by the looks of it.

Alec finally wakes up. About god damn time.

"Oh Shit!" he says realising what time it is.

"Magnus I am soo sorry the hunt for the demons nest and exterminating it took longer than expected, then I came here to get changed then I-"

I cut him off with a kiss.

"It's okay love, you don't have to explain yourself. As long as you are okay, then i've got all the time in the world for you"

"And if i'm not okay?" he asks, as serious as ever.

"Then i'll be nursing you back to health. I do look great in fishnet stockings and a stethescope may I just add" I say with a wink. He smiles a bright smile that shows his pearly teeth and chuckles. He is soon on the floor laughing uncontrollably with tears in his eyes.

"Whats so funny?" I ask, my eyes never leaving him.

"You-hahahaha-ffishnets-hahahahahaha-" he manages to say.

I'll save you the details but this lasted for a good half hour.

Aaaaaand thats the caffine fueled first chapter. Alecs POV possibly next chapter. I will work on more sass and cringe etc. Maybe even add in Raphael Santiago (SoSoFabulous, yes really, I know you are laughing at me right now shaking your head. love ya) or see what happens when Jace encounters an army of ducks... we'll see... Muahahahahahahaha...

Anyways leave a coment what you think or not if you don't want to (I know you will SoSoFabulous) and if you have ANY questions just ask away! Ciao!