Status Quo

Samantha Carter looked at Pete and then at the ring in his hand. "Oh my God."

"Sam?"

"Uh..." She stammered. "I…I…"

It was supposed to be Jack, she thought. He was supposed to be the one to ask me to marry him.

"I…I'm flattered, Pete, but…"

"But what?"

She looked at his crestfallen face. "I…I need some time." She managed.

He looked somewhat disappointed at this answer, but seemed to accept it. "Take all you need."

--

She stared at the box in absolute horror. What had she done? She sighed. It wasn't like Pete was a bad guy or anything...

She winced. Well, there had been the time that he had done a background check on her and followed her on a mission involving Osiris. She shrugged off a nagging sense that she should have known better. He should have respected her career just like she respected his.

She opened the box and looked at the ring inside. It was gaudy and obnoxious- not at all what she would have chosen herself. And the band was yellow gold! She didn't wear gold…it just didn't look good with her coloring- silver was a better look with her skin tone. And a solitaire diamond was all that she wanted. Instead, he had gotten her sapphires set around a diamond. It was a beautiful ring, but…it wasn't her…

"Carter."

She was still in her thoughts before a hand in front of her face alerted her to his presence. "Colonel CARTER!"

"Sir!" She said, bouncing up almost as if at attention as she had done early in her time with SG-1 to see Brigadier General Jack O'Neill standing before her dressed in jeans and a sports shirt, a leather jacket on the table.

"What's up?"

"Nothing." She said, quickly.

"Nothing?"

"Nope…nothing."

"Okay…you don't want to talk about it…" He said, eyeing the velvet jewelry box on the table.

"No, sir…" She said, nervously eyeing the box as well. "I just…Pete…"

He nodded. "Ah."

"Sir.."

"No, Carter, it's none of my business…if you and Pete are getting married, then…so be it."

"Sir…it's…" She stopped. "So be it?"

"Carter, it's your life…I told you to get one…and if it includes Pete, then…good for you…"

"But I don't even know if I want…"

He held up a hand to silence her, indicating that he knew that it wouldn't be right for her to talk to him about this. "Teal'c and Daniel and I were wondering if you wanted to ever go on a team trip to the cabin…Pete can come too, if you want."

She eyed him warily. "I'm not sure…"

"Well, think about it…we'd love to have you if you'd like to come…"

"Thank you, sir." She responded, with a smile.

She sighed as he walked out of the room. He didn't have anything to say about her possible engagement to Pete. She looked back at her computer screen, but as she did so, she saw his jacket on the counter. She closed her eyes in exasperation. Great…now, she had to confront him again.

She walked around the desk to pick up the article of clothing, but for a moment, she had the overwhelming desire to put the jacket on, just to feel what it might be like to have him surround her…to have his scent engulf her senses.

Without another thought, she slipped the large jacket on. Passion flooded her suddenly and powerfully as she experienced the aromas that reminded her of Jack. She was tempted to simply revel in the sensation, but suddenly, she was reminded that at any time he could come in and see her wearing his jacket. And then, she would have to explain herself to him. She quickly pulled it off and flung it on the table when she heard the sound of a soft thud. Something had fallen out of the pocket of the coat.

She crouched down and picked up the tiny box. It, too, was covered in black velvet, and her breath hitched. Why did Jack O'Neill have a jewelry box in his jacket pocket? Endless possibilities ran through her mind. Maybe he had accepted her marriage to Pete as inevitable and moved on…maybe that was why he hadn't had anything to say about her engagement.

Her heart stopped for a moment as she opened the box in complete curiosity and saw the solitaire diamond on a white gold band. No…not her ring!

As she took the ring out of its box and looked at it, she could see an inscription. She studied it: Through the light years and forever.

She gasped. It was for her…unless he had romantic interests in someone else who went through the Gate. In that moment, she knew which ring she wanted to wear. It wasn't Pete's ring…it was Jack's ring. She slipped it onto her left finger, hoping that it would fit. It had been perfect while Pete's was a little too big and kept slipping off of her finger. The metaphor of the rings and the relationships was almost too ironic, and she took a deep breath as she stood. She reached to take off the ring, but suddenly, it was stuck.

Her breath hitched as she heard footsteps come down the hallway. She picked up the ring box and stood, cramming them into the pockets of the jacket.

"Sam?"

She turned, her hands enveloped by the jacket. "Daniel!"

"Are you okay? You seem a little…preoccupied."

"I'm fine." She said, pasting a large, fake smile onto her face.

"You sure?"

"Yep."

"Well, Jack was wondering if he had left his jacket in here…"

"Yep…I was going to take it up to him right now…"

Daniel looked at her, one eyebrow raised. "Sam, he's at his house now…he was wondering if I could drop it by."

"You know, you probably could, but…I live right in his neighborhood…maybe you should let me take it…"

"Sam?"

"Daniel?" She asked, her face taking on an innocent look.

"Fine. You take it to him."

She breathed a sigh of relief as he left. "There is a god!" She whispered.

--

It was two hours later, and she was still trying with all of her intellectual know-how AND her strength to get the blasted ring off of her finger. Her cell phone rang. "Carter." She said, putting it to her ear.

"Carter, it's me…Daniel said you were bringing my jacket over…did you get caught up playing with your doohickeys again?"

"Not exactly…"

"Well, when you're done, Hammond stopped by…we're at my place with Daniel and Teal'c having pizza and beers. Wanna join us?"

She gave a nervous chuckle. "I'm not sure if that…"

"Just for a little while…you gotta bring me my jacket anyway…"

She sighed. "Right…well…I'll see if I can't work something out."

"All right, Carter, see you in a few."

She hung up the phone. How was she supposed to tell him that because of her curiosity that it looked like they were getting married? That they had broken regulations? That they were very casual about the secrecy of their relationship?

She had tried soap, lotion, and various other methods of getting the ring off of her hand, and still, it would not budge.

Much like her feelings for this commanding officer.

She groaned. "Stop it!" She scolded herself. "That's going to get you into trouble!"

She looked at her hand. She didn't REALLY want to get rid of the ring at all…she was just afraid of what he would say to her nosiness...

She sighed. She would just go and face the consequences. Hopefully, he wouldn't even notice the extra gleam from her left hand, and that if he did, that he would assume that she had said yes to Pete.

Fat chance, she thought as she headed up to the surface.

--

"And so, we're up against one of the goa'ulds, right? And the guy comes down and gives us his "holier than thou" speech, and by now, Teal'c and I are tired of it…so, we kick the guards down, and manage to hit the system lord in the mouth with Teal'c's elbow, and we run toward where Sam's waiting with SG-3, and start running the heck out of there!" Daniel said, laughing. "Teal'c actually had them tattoo his arm so that it said 'Perseus' landed here…"

"Did you really do that, T?" Jack asked, surprised.

The Jaffa nodded and revealed his tattoo. George Hammond laughed alongside the men. Washington had been good to and for him, but he still missed his days as commander of the SGC. Now, reminiscing with his friends, he was reminded of just how crazy their adventures were.

The doorbell rang and Jack jumped up. "'Scuse me…"

He opened the door to find Sam standing there with his jacket over her arms, hiding her hands. "Carter."

"Sir."

"Come on in…Daniel's telling us all about Teal'c's tattoo…"

She laughed. "He didn't leave out the part where he had the phrase "Can't Touch This" tattooed on his back, did he?"

Jack just raised his eyebrows as he returned to the living room. "Teal'c, you dog you!"

"Oh…not Teal'c." Sam corrected. "Daniel."

Jack looked at the blushing archaeologist. "It wasn't exactly my idea…" He defended.

"Oh, it wasn't?"

"Noooope." Sam finished with a chuckle. "His girlfriend told him to do it…they went to the tattoo parlor on a DATE."

"Girlfriend, Daniel?" Jack asked, his eyebrows raised. "Why didn't you say something earlier?"

The archaeologist's eyes were cast down. "It was Janet."

Jack was instantly contrite. "I'm sorry…"

"No, you're fine…but…I better tell you the whole story," he said, lightening up. "Janet LOVED to tell this story…"

Sam chuckled as she set Jack's jacket onto the chair in the corner and accepted the beer that Jack handed her. George looked at her, studying his friend's daughter. As he did so, he noticed an extra gleam coming from her left ring finger. "Sam?"

She looked over. "General! Good to see you!"

"Do you have something to tell us?"

She blushed as all of her team mates looked at her. "Uh…no…"

Jack's eye was instantly drawn to her hand, and he saw the sparkle of a diamond ring. He heaved a silent sigh before turning a smile back to her. "Congratulations, Carter."

"Sam…you're…you're getting married!" Daniel said, shocked.

"Well, uh…."

"Colonel Carter, that ring seems familiar. Is it possible that you and O'Neill have finally chosen to break down the barrier that has kept you apart for so long?" Teal'c asked, stoically.

General Hammond, who had been drinking a beer, choked on the liquid. He looked up just in time to see Sam go absolutely red and Jack's eyes to widen as though he was a deer in headlights.

Jack's mouth started working, but for once, no sound was emitted in this process. "Uh…"

"I'll, uh…take that as a yes." Daniel said, eyeing the General.

"No!" Sam said, regaining her composure.

"Don't worry about me…" He said, still too shocked to really comprehend what was going on. "I retired!"

Jack was stammering like an idiot, trying desperately to say something that could in any way explain why his ring was on Sam's hand.

Sam thought quickly. She knew what she was about to say would hurt Jack but she had no choice. She put on a smile and turned to Teal'c. "No. This is the ring Pete gave me. Why would I marry General O'Neill?"

At Sam's words, Jack's heart shattered into pieces as plentiful as the stars. He had bought that ring for her; spent hours searching for the right cut; worn a hole in his kitchen trying to think of the perfect engraving, all to find out she didn't want him. How could he have been so wrong? Everything told him that she loved him. She had even confessed her feelings for him in order to save their lives during the Za'tarc incident.

Sam avoided Jack's penetrating eyes. She didn't want to see the pain she had just caused him. Daniel and General Hammond looked at Sam as though trying to read her thoughts. Was she telling them the truth? Teal'c was unconvinced but realized now was not the time to speak of such things.

Finally Daniel nodded. Still eyeing Carter's hand suspiciously he responded, "Oh, Pete. Congratulations."

Sam breathed for the first time since the ring was discovered. Realizing that she was still standing, she took the only available seat—next to Jack on the couch. Still avoiding his gaze, Sam tried to change the subject. "Daniel, weren't you about to tell us how you got your tattoo?"

Daniel, slightly confused, looked at Sam. "Oh right." He said shaking his head. "Ok so Janet and I….."

As Daniel reenacted his story, Sam glanced at Jack from the corner of her eye. He was stiff and silent. His usually goofy smile was gone. Although he was looking at Daniel his mind was elsewhere. Sam knew what he was thinking and mentally kicked herself for putting him through that. She wanted to apologize. To tell him how sorry she was. To tell him how much she loved him. It took every muscle in her body to keep from speaking out.

--

Sam was beside herself. She couldn't believe she had just said that to Jack. Jack! The man she loved more than anything. She smacked her forehead repeatedly with her palm. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

"Ok Carter. Calm down. Beating your brains out isn't going to fix anything." She laughed at her almost O'Neill style comment.

Sam paced back and forth in her kitchen. After leaving Jack's house she had quickly made her way home to hide out. It was bad enough to have Jack recognize the ring but having the rest of her team see it as well was down right mortifying.

"How am I going to fix this? I can MacGyver any broken alien device but I can't fix my own problems? What's wrong with me? I'm supposed to be a genius!" Sam breathed in frustration.

"Maybe I should just go over to his house and apologize. No," she argued with herself, "Why would his second in command apologize for wearing an engagement ring that she wasn't allowed to want in the first place?"

She couldn't believe the mess she had gotten herself into. She couldn't apologize without telling him she'd rather have his ring. She couldn't tell him because of their cursed chain of command. A part of her wanted to just tell him. Things would be so much easier. Even if nothing happened between them, at least she wouldn't have to lie. At least she'd finally know if he felt the same, then maybe she could move on with her new life with Pete.

Pete. She hadn't thought about him for hours and felt burdened by him. Pete was a nice guy and treated her well so why didn't she want to be with him? Except for that little background check thing he had been a total gentleman.

Being the logical scientist that she was, Carter took a piece of paper and made a list of pros and cons for Jack and Pete. She was surprised to see the results and stopped pacing. She knew who she wanted. No list could tell her what her heart had known for years but how was she going to tell Pete? How was she supposed to tell her boyfriend that the man she really wanted to marry is her commanding officer who can't even be with her and may or may not feel the same way?

Feeling emotionally exhausted, Sam went into the living room and plopped on the couch. She looked at the cold, empty fireplace. It mirrored the emptiness of her soul in the impossibility of their relationship. Suddenly, she decided that she was tired of the darkness, the coldness that had overcome her in her relationships. She wanted the fire, the passion, the spark that she had dreamed about for her entire life. She wanted Jack, and how she felt when she was with him…she didn't want a Denver cop who with the perfect house, the white picket fence, 2.5 kids, and a dog.

She sighed as she turned on the gas fireplace. Instantly, the fire roared to life, tumbling and leaping around the brick fireplace as the flames flickered against the walls performing an age-old dance. Sam just watched the dance unfold, reminding her of many other age-old dances and traditions. She only wanted to discover them with Jack. And while, she wasn't sure how she would tell Pete, she had made up her mind that she would. She only prayed that Jack would forgive her.

--

Flames licked at the logs in the small fireplace. Trash bag in hand, Jack moved through his living room picking up the debris left from their little party. The cheerfulness of all the lights were irritating him in his current mood so he turned them off and continued to clean only by firelight.

Jack reached for his jacket lying on the back if the couch. Filtering through the pockets, he felt the velvet box and pulled it out. Opening it, he stared at the emptiness. Only a few hours ago it had held his hidden desire, eternal love, and hope for a new life. Now it reflected the emptiness of his demolished heart.

Jack glanced up front the jewelry box in his hand. His eyes landed on an old guitar standing in the corner of his dark living room. Feeling the need to get rid of his emotions, he picked it up. It had been years since he played. Memories of Charlie and Sarah flooded his mind. He remembered the song he had written the day Charlie was born and the day he died.

Sitting on the couch, he brushed off the worn guitar. He strung a few chords and adjusted the strings. His hands were completely separate of his brain. His mind was lingering on the words Sam had spoken and the feelings they had brought on. He strummed a few more chords, humming a sad melody. Words formed in his mind and he reached for a pad of paper from a nearby table. He quickly jotted them down before singing.

Some say love is not for sinners
I believe that isn't true
'Cause when I was finished sinning
Love came down and showed me you

Jack stopped, overwhelmed with the sincerity of the words. He had never forgiven himself for Charlie's death. He didn't think he deserved love. When Sarah left it had cemented in his mind the thought that he was unfit for love. Then he met Sam and his world turned upside down, sometimes literally. Jack recalled the years of serving with his second in command. Countless times she had saved his life by whipping out a gadget when they thought all was lost. This brought on a new set of lyrics.

And you told me how to get there
So I tried to find a way
Then I ran into your garden
But I tripped out the gate
I tripped out the gate

Despite the despair he was feeling, Jack almost laughed at the last couple of lines. He had lost count of how times he, and the other members of his team, had "tripped" out the gate. His leg ached at the remembrance of his Antarctica fiasco. The only thing Jack didn't mind reliving from that disaster was all the time he had with Sam. He'd gladly go back to Antarctica if it would mean being with her. He'd even put up with another one of Sam's fabulous splints!

Jack's heart felt a twinge of pain as he thought of being with Samantha. She was tearing him up inside and had no idea. Even worse, she didn't care about him. For years he had loved her from afar, convincing himself that she loved him too and that eventually they would be together. So many times he had come within a sentence of declaring his feelings for her.

What are you doing to me?
I'm so into you
And the hardest part is knowing
That I'll never follow through
You're slowly killing me
And I wish it wasn't true
Cause I'm so into you

Like a ton of bricks it hit me
And woke me from this dream
No matter how hard I tried to wash my hands
I could never get 'em clean
I could never get 'em clean

Jack thought of all the things he had done in his life. His hands were indeed dirty. Being in the military had allowed him to see amazing things but it had also forced him to do some things he wasn't proud of. He would never forget the look Sam had given him when he ordered her to trick Fifth into staying on the replicator planet. And nothing could repair the hole Carter had made when her fiery stare pierced through him after he closed the iris on the leader of the Euronda people. Her look of pure disgust as she walked down the gate ramp had haunted him for months.

What are you doing to me?
I'm so into you
And the hardest part is knowing
That I'll never follow through
You're slowly killing me
And I wish it wasn't true
Cause I'm so into you

Can you hear me?
Cuz I can't change what I'll always be

Jack had always been a macho man. He held his feelings inside, even at the risk of hurting himself from the build up. He never let anyone in. Sarah was the closest one to ever see the real Jack but even then there were things he couldn't tell her. He marveled at the ease that Sam had entered his heart and made herself at home in his soul.

What are you doing to me?
I'm so into you
And the hardest part is knowing
That I'll never follow through
You're slowly killing me
And I wish it wasn't true
Cause I'm so into you

I'm so into you

Staring into the dancing flames, Jack let the last chord fade away, hoping his pain would go with it. He leaned back on the couch, the guitar still clutched in his hands. Music was always a good release for him. A soft rain started outside, crying for the man who lost his love.

This was co-written with nightriderbrat, a new fanfiction author on this site...hope you enjoyed it, please review! The song is called "Trip" and it's performed by the band, Hedley.