Disclaimer: I love, like, adore, enjoy, am a fan of, obsessed with, incredibly amazed with, am delighted with and craving for more Harry Potter, but none of it belongs to me. It's all from the mind of J.K. Rowling.
A/N: This fic takes place late during the year Lily and James had been killed. Although one year-olds aren't capable of actually conversing that much, I decided to write this Rugrats style, wherein we can hopefully take a peek into the world of the HP characters when they were babies. ^_^
It's All in the Diapers
+_+_+_Chapter One_+_+_+
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A set of brightly-colored chimes ringed at the door as a bony, horse-faced woman waddled into the nursery. One hand was gently pushing a rather large baby stroller, while in another hung a big, tattered-looking basket, carried as though it were an old, used cement sack. She was followed in curtly by a largish, portly man, who looked just like one of those executive people running late for work.
"Good morning, madame--"
The pleasant, red-haired lady at the counter was about to greet them when the largish man let out a rude snort. "Just hurry up and dump them in, Petunia!" he said, his fat-buried eyes occassionally shifting from his wife to his watch. "I still have to drop you off at the mall!"
Petunia Dursley gave him an irritated look, but walked towards the lady considerably faster nonetheless. She dropped the tattered basket carelessly onto the counter. The nursery lady looked into it as it revealed the tiny face of a year-old baby, head covered by a layer of slightly unruly, jet-black hair. He yawned innocently as the lady smiled down at him.
"Oh, what an adorable baby," the lady cooed, stroking the baby's cheek. She carried him gently to the playpen at one side of the room, where he joined several other babies around his own age.
Petunia gave her a disgusted look. "That isn't mine, his babysitter's just out sick. Now this," she said, bringing out the huge bundle out of the stroller, "is my son, Dudley. You'd better take good care of him until we get back later at five."
"Okay then," the lady said nicely, sinking slightly as she took the huge (and not to mention heavy), pink, blond-haired baby in her own hands and into the same playpen. "May I just ask you to fill in that form right there and hand it over to me when you're done--"
"Just make it quick already!!!" the huge man called Vernon Dursley bellowed. He was turning red in face, obviously in a panic from knowing how late he was going to be for work. His neat moustache seemed to have stood up slightly, which had been enough for Petunia to know that he was in a negatively sensitive mood.
The black-haired baby peered through the partially-holed fence surrounding the playpen to watch his dislikable aunt and uncle walk off in a disgruntled mood minutes later. "Bye-bye," he muttered quietly, feeling odd to be standing in a new place. He looked around, and saw that the playpen's floor had been lined with colorful, alphabet tiles, which pressed into gentle pits as he stepped his feet unto them.
Seeing the other babies around him, he walked unsteadily to a freckled baby trying to fit a square block into a round hole in one of the toys.
"Need help there?" the black-haired baby asked him, green eyes eager to make a new friend.
The freckle-faced baby looked up at him and nodded. "Okay, sure." Wisps of wavy red hair bounced down the top of his head as looked up at the little boy and smiled. "I'm Ron, by the way. What's your name?"
"My name's Harry," the black-haired boy replied. He took the square block and forced it into the cornerless hole. "Ugh-- this doesn't seem to want to get in-- are you sure it's supprosed to fit here?"
"Oh, don't you boys know anything?" a rather bossy voice came out from another end of the playpen. Another year-old baby came into their view, golden-brown hair tied into tiny pigtails. She walked over to the two babies haughtily and took the square block off Harry's hand.
"Hey--"
"You're obvlusely placing it in the wrong hole." She fell onto the floor as she turned the plastic toy around, pausing only as the right-shaped hole she desired had appeared. She placed that square block into the square hole easily, looking up at the two other babies as she proudly showed them how it was done. "See? You only need a bit of callman sense. My name's Hermrione, by the way."
Harry noticed two lone front teeth sparkle out as the girl smiled. However, Ron looked unimpressed. "What? Haymon? Your name's too long."
"It's Herm-rah-yow-nee!" the girl called Hermione replied defensively. Even she couldn't pronounce her name that well yet.
Ron was about to argue about how long her name was when the huge, blonde baby by the name of Dudley Dursley stomped heavily towards them. "Ooh... I see you've made some itsy-bitsy little friends there, have you, Harry?"
"He isn't very itsy-bitsy himself," Ron whispered to Hermione, who had to cover her mouth to stifle a giggle.
Harry looked up at him irritably. "What do you want, Dudley?"
"Why, Harry, how could you think of me that way? I just wanted to make myself some little friends," he said very unconvincingly. "And Daddy says you have to learn how to share. So let's see you share that little toy of yours!"
Hermione held onto the toy tightly. "But we're still playing with it. We'd gladly give it you right after, if you'd let us finish, of clourse--"
"Give it now!" Dudley demanded stubbornly. He dropped, or rather, gravitated his enormous self down and almost nearly shook the floor of the playpen as he broke into a fit. Even as a baby, Dudley's tears hadn't been at all believable to Harry.
"Waaghh! Toy! Toy!" Dudley screamed angrily, only stopping to smirk at Harry for a very short while. As expected, his cries attracted one of the caretakers in the room, who almost staggered towards the playpen to find out what had happened.
"Oh, what's wrong, dear?" she asked, her thin-framed face peering gently into Dudley's pudgy face.
Dudley faked a bunch of sniffs and sobs. "Toy... no share! No share!" he exclaimed in his best baby voice, pointing to the toy Hermione was holding.
The girl reached her hands out to Hermione slowly. "Come on, now, dearie, we must learn how to share with other children." She smiled nicely at her. And, wanting to be polite, Hermione gave her the toy, at the same time ignoring Ron's disgruntled facial expression. Harry looked somewhat rueful.
Dudley was about to snatch the toy from the lady's hand when the nursery door swung open once more, having the tinkling chimes catch the attention of most all the babies. They heard the nice lady at the counter greet the woman who had entered with another 'Good morning'.
"Rather plain for a nursery," the woman who entered muttered to nobody in particular. She looked extremely classy, though dressed slightly oddly, and had a lazy look about her eyes. She pushed a very expensive and unique-looking stroller towards the counter, and faced the nice lady just as Petunia had.
"Alright, now, please just fill in those forms about your child if you're going to leave him here."
The lady simply raised an eyebrow, and did as the lady had told her. Soon, a new baby was being placed into the brightly-colored playpen. Harry and the rest chuckled to see him wearing dark green diapers, not to mention that he was completely bald.
"What are you laughing at?" the new baby demanded, looking insulted.
Dudley did not even bother to say it politely. "Are you blind or something? You don't have any hair!"
That's stupid, Ron thought. You can't see your hair!
The boy merely raised his chin up. "Well--well, so what? At least I don't have to live in a place like this. Our house looks so much better. And it doesn't look this boring."
"Oh, yeah?" Dudley snorted, feeling like he was the king of the ring. "What's your name, then, baldy?"
The boy looked at him like he was a piece of dirt. "Well, rubber ducky," he said, sneering at Dudley's overgrown figure. "My name is Draco."
Dudley snorted pleasurably at the answer. Draco, he thought, surprised at himself for actually thinking. In what kind of world would you find a name like that?
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A/N: Alright....I'll end there. I hope it went fine... that nasty block belonging to Writer has been lurking around at the back of head even since I started this story. This story does have a plot, just to let you know. ^_^ And, if you're wondering how purebloods like Ron and Draco got into a muggle nursery, you'll find out soon enough in the following chapters. ^_^ Oh, and after you're done reading all this and everything, please don't forget to review because it keeps fanfic writers going! So please review! Thank you! ^_^ (Hey, that rhymes again! ^_^) Love you! (Whee... another rhyme...hehe ^_^) And I'll post chapter two! (Ooh... I'm getting to be a good poet!)
