Title: DEAR MOM

Author: Starsky and Hutch

Genre: Slash

Rating: R

Warning: M/M

Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me; I make no money off them.

Summary: Starsky writes a letter to his mom. A slight contrast between what he's telling his Mom and reality.

DEAR MOM,

You're always saying I should write you a letter, so I'm writing you a letter. 'A' How's that. First letter I ever learned and you taught me how to print it. Now don't get mad; I'm writing, I'm writing.

You know it's not easy for me to write letters. Mrs. Dimitz (You remember her? 9th grade?); she used to say I had a sparkling personality but she still gave me Ds in English. Said my letter writing was an out and out crime.

(Wonder what ever happened to that old bag!)

Let's see now. Oh yes, I remember. You were worried I wasn't eating properly. I assure you, Mom, I'm eating three nourishing meals a day! Honest to God!

(Breakfast -- "Starsk! Chilli and beer for breakfast?"

"Yeah, never did care for chilli with orange juice."

(Lunch -- "I'll have the chicken chow mein, onion rings and chocolate shake."

"How can you eat that stuff?"

"The pizza place is closed."

(Dinner -- "Hutch whaddya say we eat some Mexican food; a few tamales,

some enchiladas, rice and beans and a few tacos on the side?"

"I feel sick."

You would have been proud of me, Mom. It rained Sunday and I kept that sweater you sent me on all day!

("Mmmmmm Yes, it's cozy and warm here by the fire but don't you think you'd

be more comfortable if you put something else on besides just that sweater?")

Yes, Mom, I'm being very careful while driving and I'm staying off the freeways as much as possible.

("Starsk…STARSK! Get this striped tomato of yours back on the road! Don't

you know it's against the law to drive on the median!")

I have been taking your very wise advice and have been getting out and meeting more young people my own age.

("Would you look at that one on the left, Hutch. Have you ever seen such big...

fans?")

I have also been trying to improve my mind like you suggested with frequent trips to the city library.

("I told you we can't! Not here in the library. It closes at 8 and that just gives me

enough time to make it to my second job at the Kit Kat Klub!")

I went with some of the guys to the Municipal Zoo last week. You should see all the improvements and the new animals they have gotten. I promise to take you as soon as you come out for a visit.

("You two cut around back. You two get on the other side; we'll cover the front.

There's no way he can get through. Keep your heads down now; I don't want

anyone getting hurt.")

Be sure and tell Ada Cronsky that of course I remember her and think of her often.

("Ada Cronsky? Who the hell is Ada Cronsky?")

Hutch says to be sure and send you his love.

("Starksy – back off! This one's mine! STARSK, BACK OFF! Cool it. Or…I'll

tell your mom!")

I'd better close for now, Mom. A buddy from work just showed up and we're gonna play a game or two of chess.

("I floating chess board? For the bathtub? This I've gotta see. Right this way,

Blondie!")

Your loving Son,

Davey