Leave Me Be

Chapter 1: Confusion

Summary: What Spike feels, and plus a flashback to the songs.

Why cant she just understand how I feel, must she always deny her feelings to me? It's not my fault that everyday I wake up to the sound of her voice, the beauty of her face, and the smell of her hair. He walked back and forth trying to figure out where he had gone wrong. Had he been under some powerful spell? Or was he in love?

"It must be both" he whispered, still unable to believe that Buffy still would not give in to her true feelings, "If she has any.." he said softly, trying not to believe it. He still remembered that extremely odd night where him and Buffy had kissed.

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~*Flashback*~

It was the most unbelievable feeling he had ever known. He felt as if every feeling he's ever had about Buffy threatened to come out. Trying to hold it back and failing, he suddenly broke out into song. Buffy, on the other hand did not seem to have noticed.

I died

So many years ago

You can make me feel

Like it isn't so

And why you come to be with me

I think I finally know

mmm, mmm

You're scared

Ashamed of what you feel

And you can't tell the ones you love

You know they couldn't deal

Whisper in a dead man's ear

It doesn't make it real

That's great

But I don't wanna play

'Cause being with you touches me

More than I can say

And since I'm only dead to you

I'm saying stay away and

Let me rest in peace

Let me rest in peace

Let me get some sleep

Let me take my love and bury it

In a hole 6-foot deep

I can lay my body down

But I can't find my, sweet release

So let me rest in peace

You know,

You got a willing slave

You just love to play the thought

That you might misbehave

Till you do,

I'm telling you

Stop visiting my grave

Let me rest in peace

I know I should go

But I follow you like a man possessed

There's a traitor here beneath my breast

And it hurts me more than you've ever guessed

If my heart could beat, it would break my chest

But I can see you're unimpressed

So leave me be and

Let me rest in peace

Let me get some sleep

Let me take my love and bury it

I'm a hole 6-foot deep

I can lay my body down

But I can't find my sweet release

Let me rest in peace

Why won't you

Let me rest in peace?

Confused, and unsure, Buffy ran. She ran from his words of truth, and pain. She ran from the man who loved her with his unbeating heart, and from the knowledge that what be sang was real. She ran from her feelings and she ran from love.

Spike was left there in the darkness watching Buffy run away from him, from his words and his feelings. In sorrow his mind drifted from her, wanting to kill her but hold her at the same time.

"Why must she be so bloody stubborn? Why can't she just see the truth and face it?" He thought.

And with that he walked slowly and silently into the darkness of the cemetery surrounding him.

~*End of Flashback*~

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As his head fell into his pillow, he drifted of to sleep with the thoughts of Buffy and his love for her.