Lin's Inner Pain
After Korra lashes out at Lin for her behavior, Lin reflects on her family's past. This takes place between episode 5 and 6. I thought of it before episode 6 aired.
**This story was typed in the summer of July 2014. A lot of is based off of similar feelings I felt at the time that related to Lin. Unfortunately, I'm a god awful procrastinator and I haven't touched this story since then. I don't feel that I can recapture my emotions, but I want to publish this and continue it and write more stories about the avatar world.**
The tears slowly ran down Lin's face. She felt anger, sadness, and regret. Damn. She hated her bitterness. Why the fuck is everything so wrong, she screamed in her mind as she clenched her fists. Lin wiped the tears from her eyes and cheeks. She couldn't stand to be "strong" anymore. Lin wanted to stop burying the feelings she had held onto for so long. She's tried to quit before. Quit feeling. But that never worked. It only caused more pain. She wanted things to get better. Maybe it's my fault, she thought to herself. Lin began to pace around the room as she liked to do when she was thinking. Why am I acting like such an idiot, she thought to herself. She knew her sister had changed, but even if her sister is still a hooligan it didn't matter anymore. Warm streams of tears continued to make their way down Lin's face. A bit of frustration swelled inside of Lin. Korra shouldn't have tried to solve my problems, especially with Opal, a 16 year old I've never met before, she thought. Still she was right. I am bitter. And alone. Why did things have to be like this, Lin reflected, as she wiped the tears from her cheeks.
It's hard to talk about my feelings, Lin spoke in her mind. Lin thought about her inner pain, more pain than she wants to admit to herself. In fact, she's never admitted any pain, to anyone. Not even... Tenzin. And now, she's pushed him away so far, that they can't even talk and share their feelings. Lin sighed, thinking about the fact that she didn't really have anyone to talk to about her problems. She has no friends she hangs out with, only her officers. And while her police force respects as she respects her officers, she didn't know anybody's personal lives, hopes, dreams, or feelings. She didn't care was too busy for that stuff. Just like mom.
Lin thought back to her childhood. Damn, it hurts. Mom's attention and her affection. The most powerful bender the world she knew didn't need rocks to hurt Lin.. or Suyin. Lin remembered watching her mother come home from work, angry, stressed, and maybe frustrated, and go to sleep. She let us make what ever we wanted for dinner, but she almost never spent time with us.. Lin knew Toph put on a disguise for them. Toph's wild lifestyle of her younger years had to be reeled into for her kids and she hated it. Hell, why did she work so much? What did the police force ever do for Toph? It just drained her physically and emotionally. Lin stopped in her tracks. The police force had done the same for her. Of course, she tried to use it to cover up her pain from Tenzin and her family issues, but it never solved any problems.
And she had a lot of problems. Lin never looked at them that way, no. She was "tough" just like Mom.