Takes place after "Journey" Artie and Tina try to comfort each other after the day's events at Regionals. Tina winds up giving Artie a particular kind of souvenir which becomes grounds for Kurt and Mercedes and the rest of the gleeks to poke fun. Don't own Glee.
The pizza is down to one lonely piece nobody seems to want to eat and the conversation has erupted into an even more awkward lull than any previous pause. This is partly due to the fact that the youngest member of the Cohen-Chang family had chosen the previous moment to upset her Juicy Juice juice box, making a bigger mess than you'd expect, particularly on Artie who had previously tried to be good-natured about sitting next to the three year old replica of Tina. There is another reason apart from the lull the conversation had taken after a considerable amount of napkins and affirmations of "I'm so sorry" from Mrs. Cohen-Chang and "She's usually pretty well behaved at the table" from Mr. Cohen-Chang and Artie's and his parent's proclamations of "It's ok, really" since they know that even though the black pants are his best pair, it's nothing the washer can't take care of. The other reason is the fact that prior to the previous disaster, Tina had been playing "footsie" with him under the table, a not as pointless as you'd think endeavor since he couldn't help stifling what he's sure was an absurd grin every time he felt her foot nudge his chair and he'd sneak a poke back at her, making her stifle a grin of her own. The footsie game itself isn't lull-inducing, but because of it, Artie has no desire to alleviate the lack of conversation.
It's not as though anyone has been particularly chatty to begin with. That's what happens when you lose. Even though his parents had ground it into him from the time he could understand the difference between winning and losing that some things aren't always about winning and losing, he feels in this one case they were wrong. Even though both their families are intent on singing their groups's praises and had insisted on the "victory dinner" to further emphasize their point, both Artie and Tina know this loss means something. And it hurts.
At this point Artie only wants to stop talking about it all and find a way to be alone with Tina because he knows she's trying to cheer both him and herself up, and well, does he really need to explain his reasons for wanting to be alone with his hot girlfriend? But for now there's nowhere to go and he has a feeling sneaking off to the bathroom with both their families there would be in bad form. So he settles instead for groaning inwardly at the uncomfortable hush permeating the table and sneaking a last poke at Tina.
The waiter comes for the check and their families start making ready to leave, their mothers fussing over recipes they've sworn to swap. Artie's too-talkative father tries again to make small talk with the almost stoically silent Mr. Cohen-Chang, while little Celia idly routes through her mother's purse that's hanging from Mrs. Cohen-Chang's shoulder.
Artie glances up at Tina who's already giving him a pleading glance. "Want to come over?" he asks.
She nods fervently and when her parents ask, "You coming Tina?" she shakes her head, fussing with the thumbholes of her black, fishnet textured hoodie before responding, "Artie invited me over. Is it alright if I stay there for a little while?"
Their parents exchange glances and the Abram parents tell the Cohen-Chang parents, "No worries, we'll make sure they can't mope too much. We do have ice cream." Tina's father relents, gently pulling Celia away from her mother's purse, but Mrs. Cohen-Chang asks, "Are you sure you don't want to come home and change first?"
Tina shrugs in the hoodie she's thrown over her dress and the black pajama pants she's thrown on underneath her dress, because even though it's late May, it is Northern Ohio and somewhat chilly.
"I'll be alright," she insists. "I won't be home too late."
Her mother nods and her father tells her to call if she needs a ride later, even though Tina's made the walk of seven blocks to and from their houses countless times without scathe. They both kiss her on the forehead and tell her that they love her, and that no matter what anyone else says, they think she was wonderful today. Celia seals the round of goodbyes with giving Tina's legs a hug and pronouncing that the fabric of her dress is itchy before barreling off to jump into her father's arms to be loaded into their SUV.
The ride to the Abrams residence isn't much less uncomfortable. It's obvious Artie's parents don't know what else to say to their son and his girlfriend about their favorite school activity being canceled as a result of their performance today, at least not anything they either haven't already said or anything that will cheer the two teenagers up.
Fifteen excruciatingly quiet minutes later they arrive and Artie pronounces that he and Tina are going to retreat to his room to watch a movie and unwind. They pop popcorn and put it into a bowl without much of their usual banter and the dejected look in Tina's eyes breaks his heart.
After what seems like a life age, they're finally left to their own devices in his room and Artie pulls himself onto his bed while Tina flicks on the TV. Never Been Kissed is playing, a movie that normally wouldn't be their preference, but Artie really can't bring himself to care and Tina doesn't seem to notice. She sits down next to him, balancing the bowl of popcorn on her knees and staring at the wall.
He nudges her and she smiles sadly at him. "Thanks for inviting me over," she tells him.
"No problem," he says. "You didn't look like you wanted to go home."
"I didn't." Pause. "My parents are great. Really. I mean, I told them when I was eight I wanted to be a sheep farmer and they supported me. But sometimes they're just a little too much to take, you know? I mean, it's not like I want to be sad, but I just can't seem to cheer up as quick as they can and it drives me nuts when they spend an entire evening being obnoxiously upbeat."
Artie laughs.
"Whoa, that sounded meaner than I meant it. They're great, really. Just, them telling me they're so proud, right now, it almost makes it worse, you know?"
He nods. "I know what you mean. All the 'we love you no matter what' Barney mantra is great and all, but irritating when it doesn't seem to help anything."
She nods staring at the bowl of popcorn now, her eyes shining with a fresh wave of tears. He knows she's close to crying and it'll be the second time today. It makes him want to cry just to see her like this. "I know it's not the end of the world," she says, her voice shaky. "But it's the end of Glee. And it really fucking sucks. And an 'I love you no matter what' is not going to fix that."
Before he can stop it, his brain flits the thought, what if I told you I love you no matter what? And then to whoa, as his stomach patters faster, he's sure, than Gene Kelly ever could have tap danced. He bites his lip and internally counts to ten to make doubly sure the thought doesn't escape him in the form of spoken words. He takes a breath, her hand and says something he's been thinking the entire day once he got over the shock of losing and the hurt of realizing it meant no more Glee.
"Maybe you could join Jazz Band. We're always looking for soloists."
She smiles a real smile at him now and says, "Maybe. Mercedes might have me beat on the jazz voice though."
He shrugs, determined to give her at least a glimmer of hope. "Maybe you guys can trade off solos."
"What about Rachel?"
He shrugs again, "We make sure she can't see the audition sheets so that way she doesn't turn everything into a giant drama fest when you and Mercedes get the solos?" and Tina finally laughs and leans into him.
"I really am going to miss hanging out with everyone," she says as they both lean against the wall and she leans her head on his shoulder.
"Me too."
"Do you think we'll all still be friends?"
He wrinkles his nose and twists his mouth to the side in a thoughtful grimace. "Puck might not acknowledge us anymore. But then again, I doubt he'll be tossing us into dumpsters again either."
She hides her face in his shoulder and whispers, "You and me?"
"You're fucking kidding me, right?" But he knows she isn't entirely, that there's still the horrendously insecure part of herself that worries no one likes her.
"I guess so. It's just, we won't see each other as often as we're used to."
"We'll still have lunch together. Classes. Jazz Band."
She grins at him again.
"Besides," he continues. "You and me have more fun outside of school." He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and Tina bursts into the loud, carefree laugh he loves, throwing her head back before slapping him on the shoulder and throwing her face into his chest, hugging him tightly.
"Pig," she says,but he knows she's smiling.
"Fox," he responds, without skipping a beat.
"Ass."
"Sex kitten."
"Rawr."
"Rawr." She giggles and he kisses her, still reveling in the fact that it's now a common occurrence for them to kiss.
"No really," he tells her when they pull back. "You can't get rid of me that easy."
She laughs again and says, "Good," before kissing him again, then pulling back to tease, "that's convenient since I now know who to go to for hair gel."
Somewhat self-conscious about his special "do" he reaches up to touch the gelled hair on top of his head.
"You don't like it?"
She giggles. "Honestly, on you it's almost cute. I think it'd be barf-worthy on just about anybody else."
"And you're just telling me this now?"
"I didn't want to make you self-conscious. Besides, it's not like you could have fixed it when we were already at regionals."
"Hmmph," he mock pouts.
She laughs again.
"Well what the hell is this all about?" he asks, motioning to the extra inches her hair has made her grow.
"A bumpit. Rachel insisted we all wear them."
"Sounds raunchy."
She laughs again and punches him in the shoulder. "Ok, seriously Tina, I'm going to have to talk to Ms. Pillsbury about our abusive relationship."
"Oh you'll live," she says with mock grouchiness, but she's still smiling and taking her hair out, threading her fingers underneath to pull a plastic, half-moon shaped... thing out of her head. "This is a bumpit," she tells him.
He holds the hair accessory in one of his hands and proclaims, "I will never cease to be amazed at the ridiculous things they invent for girls to wear."
"Tell me about it. Wasn't my idea," she says, now threading the gold ribbon out of her hair and pulling out the bobby pins, tucking them in a neat row alongside one of the pockets of her hoodie. Her hair freed, she massages the top of her head. "That thing friggin' hurts. Been digging into my brains all day."
"Somebody call the wahmbulance -"
"Very funny-"
"We've got a level 4 whine-"
"Shut up," she says, pushing him. It's always his right shoulder and he wonders if eventually all of his shirts will have her fingerprints there. He idly thinks he wouldn't mind.
"Or what?" he taunts.
"Or else."
"Or else what?"
"Or I'll..." she reaches behind his neck, an act that never fails to make all his hair prickle, gelled or no, and her fingers nimbly thread their way through his hair. He realizes a second after she's done it, what she's doing. "I'll mess up your ridiculous hair," she finishes, mussing the top of his head with increasing speed and then pulling away.
"Not fair," he mock pouts again and reaches to muss her hair, still somewhat retaining its bump. She squeals and jerks to the side, trying to elude him while still trying to reach his head and they both struggle for a moment until Tina finally seizes him by the tie, something she's wanted to do since seeing him in one at sectionals, and whispering before she kisses him, "I win."
If this is losing, he thinks, I can deal. The pressure of his tie against his neck is somewhat uncomfortable, but the fact that Tina's the one applying the pressure makes it kind of, well, hot and he can't help but think she feels the same because their kisses quickly escalate into a full on make-out session, complete with the removal of his tie, the unbuttoning of a few of his shirt buttons, and tentative touches.
They enjoy each other for a time, neither one really entirely forgetting the day's depressing turn of events, but for a time not caring. It feels good to do something happy and he feels the dull ache they're both nursing from regionals almost evaporate when they finally pull apart and look into each other's eyes and laugh at their respective disheveled appearances.
"You look like you stuck your finger in a light socket."
"You look like a swamp thing." She blinks and he amends, "A smokin' hot swamp thing."
She laughs. "Your fault."
"Partly Rachel's."
"Sounds raunchy."
"Sounds fun. Though she'd probably never shut up..." she slaps him again.
"Vomitorious. God, you are such a boy. Thinking about Rachel... just, ew. When she asked us girls for advice on how to say "no" to Jesse I nearly choked on my barf."
"She asked you guys that?"
"Yeah." She shudders "I dunno why, but for some reason it's like picturing my parents together." She shudders again. The mere phrase "parents together" makes Artie shudder too.
"Ew."
"Exactly."
"I don't know which is grosser really. Her with Finn or Jesse."
There's a moment's pause before they both agree, saying at the same time, "Jesse."
"He was greasy."
"He was an ass."
"He was a douchebag."
"He was more of a drama-slut than Rachel."
"They probably made a really big production of it."
"They were probably really loud."
"They probably had a mirror above the bed so they could watch themselves."
"Rachel probably taped it so she could point out flaws in their performance later."
"Probably," Tina agrees. They both laugh but it's a somewhat uncomfortable laugh. For all their joking, they've both carefully avoided the subject when applied to themselves and both know the day when they need to confront it is looming nearer. "We shouldn't make fun," Tina says when their laughter dissolves. "I think he really hurt her. She's obnoxious pretty much non-stop, but nobody deserves what he did to her."
"No."
"I wanted to give her a hug that day."
"You gave me a hug that day. Don't I count?"
She giggles again and wraps her other arm around him to give him an awkward, lying down hug, her face pressed into his chest. "Of course you do."
"Good," he says.
"Ridiculous hair and all," she says, fingering one of his locks that's now sticking out at an impossibly odd angle.
"You too," he says, kissing her again.
He's not sure exactly how long they've been asleep, all Artie knows is that he shouldn't have left his glasses on because they're now digging painfully into the side of his face but he doesn't move to take them off, choosing instead to lie there quietly and play idly with a lock of Tina's pink hair while she sleeps.
He knows it mustn't be too late. He can still hear the TV on in the living room, indicating that his parents are still awake, and judging from the sky outside, the sun's only just gone down, a hazy promise of warm days that are longer still to come.
A door closes across the hall and Tina's eyes flutter open, swivel around for a moment, and finally focus on him. She smiles and tries to stifle a yawn.
"We've had a long day," he says softly and she nods.
She rolls over and sits up. "A long sucky day. I'm exhausted and I should probably get home."
"It's not very late yet."
"I know, but I'm fried and sick of this dress."
"So take it off."
"Ha."
"Just trying to take my girlfriend's comfort into consideration." Tina blushes and he knows she likes hearing the words my girlfriend.
"If you'd been taking my comfort into consideration you wouldn't have fallen asleep on my hand," she says shaking the right hand that had wound up trapped under the side of his face when they'd both fallen asleep. He knows her hand's gone numb and he takes it in his and with his other hand massages it.
She blushes redder and he leans in to kiss her on the cheek and asks, "Better?" She nods, then her expression turns confused.
"What?"
"Come here," she says, grabbing his face and turning it to the side.
"What?" he asks as she scrutinizes his right cheek. Slowly, realization breaks through her expression of confusion as she holds her sleeve up to his face as though comparing the two.
"What?" he repeats as she starts to crack up.
"You" laugh "my sweatshirt" laughing "face print" more laughter.
"What?"
She calms a little to say, "my sweatshirt marked you" before bursting into giggles again.
He sits up to examine his reflection in the mirror on his closet door which sits across from his bed and sees to what she's referring. Sure enough, thanks to the fishnet textured sweatshirt, his cheek is neatly sectioned off into tiny squares like a flesh colored piece of graph paper.
"So did you, he says," pulling his shirt to the side to examine a sizable hickey she's given him at the base of his neck.
She gasps, "Sorry."
"It's alright. It's not like I was complaining at the time."
"I didn't mean to-"
"I know you didn't. But now I have proof of your abusive tendencies," he jokes, earning himself another slap to the shoulder.
"Can you... you know, cover it?"
"What makes you think I want to? It's a mark of our love."
"It's also something that's going to make your parents think they need to keep an eye on us all the time."
"They don't need to know it was you."
"And who else would you be getting one from?"
"Um... don't worry. I should be able to cover it with my shirt collars just fine." He demonstrates by buttoning up his black shirt again.
She smiles. "Sorry," she says again.
"Sokay," he says grinning. "Further proof of my studly tendencies." She rolls her eyes and procures a hair tie from her shoulder bag, tying her messy hair back. He tries to fix his own hair somewhat and rubs furiously at the tiled mark on his face, thinking it's best to keep up premises that they aren't being hormonal teenagers every time they're alone together. When they're both somewhat satisfactorily put together again Tina throws her bag over her shoulder and they both exit his room, Tina carrying the forgotten bowl of popcorn back to the kitchen before making her way to the front door.
"Did you need a ride home dear?" Mrs. Abrams asks from the living room. "My husband's already gone to bed I'm afraid. Not an early riser and we all had an early morning. But I can drive you if you'd like."
"No, I'll be fine. Thanks Mrs. Abrams. Have a good night."
"You too dear. We'll see you again soon I'm sure." Tina blushes, but nods and smiles and follows Artie to the front door.
"You'll be ok, right?" he asks when they get out the front door.
"Oh yeah," she says off handedly. "I'm just bummed is all."
"Yeah."
She smiles down at him. "Thanks for cheering me up."
He grins back. "Any time."
She leans down to kiss him and says, "See you on Monday?"
"If not before."
"Not before, I'm afraid. We're going to see my grandpa tomorrow and then I have to actually study because I've had zero time to before and I might not even be able to scrape up a 'C' in Chemistry if I don't do well on this next test."
"You can study here. I have work to do too."
"You know we don't study."
"You're awesome at Chemistry," he says, instead of trying to dispute her accusation.
"No, we have awesome chemistry."
"Same difference," he grumps and she laughs. "Okay, see you on Monday. Do I at least get another goodbye kiss to hold me off till then?"
She laughs and shakes her head, but kisses him again before turning and heading down the Abrams driveway, to the sidewalk and out of sight.
But he gets to see Tina and the rest of his friends from glee earlier than expected, Monday morning before school.
"Tell me again why we're here at the butt crack of dawn?" Puck gripes, his voice echoing in the auditorium.
"To practice," Rachel says. She was the one who had summoned them all. Artie assumes that in light of what's happened, everyone agreed to meeting here because no one really feels much like giving Rachel a hard time for being a pain in the ass. Even Puck's whine is somewhat half-hearted.
"Practice?" Mercedes asks. She and Kurt exchange looks.
"Uh, Rachel," Finn pipes up. "You do remember we already lost on Saturday, right?"
"This isn't for some stupid competition," Rachel says, handing out music. "It's for Mr. Schuester."
Realization dawns on them all and they all oblige Rachel and start to practice the song, Tina's eyes watering after their first run through. Artie takes her hand and squeezes it and she smiles.
Kurt casts them a knowing look during their fifth run through and Rachel pronounces their song "decent enough to be going along with," and in any case it's not like she can keep them any later. The first warning bell's just rung and they all scurry off to their first classes, their feet somehow less sure of the path than they were last Friday.
"See you in history," Artie says to Tina, giving her hand a last squeeze and she leans down to give him a kiss on the cheek.
He wheels his way to English, falling in step (wheel?) with Kurt and Mercedes who're also on their way to Mr. Curry's room full of posters of books like The Sound and the Fury and The Great Gatsby.
He pulls up and parks himself at his desk behind Kurt's and catty-cornered to Mercedes'.
Kurt takes his seat in front of Artie and turns to face him, a smirk on his face.
"Hey there Scooter," Kurt says and Artie rolls his eyes at the nickname he'd been given ever since Kurt's proclamation that he, Mercedes, Artie and Tina were about as intimidating as Muppet Babies. None of the other Muppet Baby members had been assigned their own Jim Henson persona and Artie wonders idly if that's because Miss Piggy's really the only girl Muppet Baby.
"Morning Kurt," Artie mumbles, curious as to how Kurt's managing to be so upbeat after the song they've just practiced and the knowledge that it's a means of saying goodbye to Mr. Schue.
Mercedes turns to face the two of them, a smirk on her face as well.
"Have a good weekend?" she asks.
"What do you think?" Artie says.
Kurt and Mercedes exchange glances again, and Artie swears someone needs to figure out their code and write it down somewhere.
"We think we might need to get you a garlic necklace," Mercedes says.
"Or call Buffy," Kurt says.
"Or tell Figgins," Mercedes laughs.
"What?"
"Basically we think you either had a very unfortunate run in with a vacuum sweeper attachment," Kurt says while Mercedes laughs again, "or, you and Tina, who appears to have her own case of vampire fever, had a very nice time comforting each other after Saturday."
Artie claps his hand to his neck. "Shit. I thought I had it covered. Is it really that bad?"
Both Mercedes and Kurt burst into laughter again. "I'm going to assume it was the latter," Kurt says.
Artie groans and lets his head fall to his desk, forehead first as the bell rings and Mr. Curry tells them all to take out their copies of Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea.
While Mr. Curry debates the significance of the marlin with the few people who are interested, Mercedes and Kurt pass notes and Artie fusses with the collar of his shirt, wondering idly how much of a douchebag he'd look with the collar popped and whether it's worth the trouble to bother covering something Mercedes and Kurt already know about.
Thirty minutes through the class Artie's decided two things. One, that marlins just cause a lot of crap for everybody, from his favorite baseball team to the old man in this book; and two, that since Mercedes and Kurt are bound to keep talking about it and teasing him for it till everyone else finds out, it's no use trying to cover up his love bite.
His latter suspicion is confirmed when Kurt passes him the note he and Mercedes had been passing. Artie seizes it and pulls the piece of paper under his desk, surreptitiously unfolding it in his lap so as not to draw attention to himself.
Mercedes' handwriting: I can't believe Tina did that. I'd never thought she could keep her mouth open for so long.
Kurt's handwriting: Boy that sounds raunchy.
LOL. Really though. I didn't know my girl had it in her.
I bet Tina's full of surprises.
That only Artie knows about.
And now us. Looks like Tina has a taste for blood after all.
Yup. Totally caught herself a bad case of vampire.
I wonder who gave it to her?
Artie?
Nah, she just gave it to him.
Hmmm. Maybe Artie has some competition.
Yes. As Edward Cullen has moved to Lima and clearly has claimed Tina for his own.
I dunno. Tina said she didn't think what's his face is her type.
Her type is super-geek. And it's Robert Pattinson by the way.
Whatever. Maybe she was born vampire. She told Figgins her dad was the king of vampires.
Only Stephenie Meyer believes in vampire babies.
Blade's mom was supposedly a vampire.
Really? I never saw it.
That's about all I caught of it before I stole the remote back from my brother.
I dunno. In Underworld all the vampires were once human. But are still seriously good looking.
Enough crazy talk. My girl's not a vampire.
Or is she?
LOL.
Maybe she's a different kind of vampire that media hasn't gotten to portraying yet.
Asian vampire?
LOL. She did say they were the most vicious. It sounds like a title for a bad romance novel.
What does?
"The Return of the Asian Vampire"
Ok, seriously stop making me laugh so hard. Curry's going to notice. But whatever. Tina's not a vampire.
The best way to tell is if Artie turns into one now that he's been bitten.
Right.
He does look a little pale.
Are you kidding me? That boy's probably always been able to glow in the dark.
I say we just ask him.
LOL. Say, Artie, got a hankering for blood?
I like it. Sending!
Artie, do you feel the need to drink several quantities of blood? Is the light hurting your eyes too bad?
Yes_ No_
Artie rolls his eyes upon finishing the note and the bell rings. "NO!" he half-shouts at them as loudly as he dares.
Mercedes and Kurt just laugh and head off to their respective second period classes.
The four of the Muppet Babies have history together third period, plus Puck and Finn. Artie decides he doesn't care anymore about the teasing, but he wishes they'd give Tina a break since it doesn't look like her face could possibly get any redder. Even Puck joins in, giving Artie a slap on the back saying "way to go, bro" and Finn grins, though retains his look as though he's only caught part of the conversation.
They all use their normal Glee period to practice their surprise for Mr. Schue again and Tina's face is blushing fiercely again because of course Santana has to comment, though her comments are somewhat subdued for her, Matt and Mike exchange evil grins nudging and pointing, and Quinn gives him a knowing glance. Only Rachel and Brittany seem to be the ones who haven't noticed and he can't say he's surprised.
Maybe it's a combination of the day's teasing and the way she reminds him of a foxy character in an old movie with the black netting covering part of her face that influences his admission before they sing for Mr. Schue. Maybe it's a result of not having anything else to say prepared. Whatever the reason, he blurts out, "I had never kissed a girl," and it fits. Glee had brought him and Tina together and for that he'll always be grateful.
There isn't anymore teasing once the song finishes, only a round of hugs and tears, and a stiff air among most of the boys who are mostly remaining silent, not sure of what else really can be said.
Tina seems subdued again as they exit the auditorium together so Artie chooses this moment to tell her,
"they think you infected me."
"Huh?"
"Mercedes and Kurt. They think you gave me the vampire."
She laughs which was his intended reaction but takes him by surprise by leaning over to kiss his neck while saying, "how do you know I didn't?"
"I can live on the wild side," he says in his best "dangerous" voice. "Howl at the moon."
"That's werewolves."
"Aroooo!" he fake howls and she throws her head back and laughs, a strand of her pink hair tickling his nose in the process.
"You're ridiculous."
"You're beautiful," he blurts without thinking.
She grins shyly and leans into him again. "You're sweet," she says kissing him, this time on the lips.
He knows that getting kissed isn't the most momentous thing that can happen in someone's lifetime, everything his parents had ever taught him that happiness doesn't always reside in the arms of a girl, but for now it does. And he thinks if he had to do it all over again, if he had to march a million miles again just to get punched in the stomach by Sue Sylvester all over again, he would if it meant still being here with her.
Review please!