Disclaimer, A/N & Summary: I don't own NCIS, Gibbs or the rest of the characters at the bull pen; I just wanted to use them for this story and probably many more...

Thanks to all that have stayed reading my pieces etc...

Set in season nine, during/after the 200th episode 'Life before his eyes' aka the episode that never was! :O After Gibbs' near-death experience and 'other worldly' visits from his dead friends, Gibbs is suffering from bad dreams, he goes to Abby for a bite to eat and some fatherly/daughterly love. :')

Rated T

Romance/Friendship & Angst

L.J Gibbs & Abby. S

English

What Never Was

"Aw, I've missed these." Abby draped her arms around the taller, broader male.

Gibbs didn't reciprocate her affections, he merely shrugged her off, coldly. "I don't need your pity." He turned away from her, pushing Abby away.

The three took their turn to speak to him, each saying meaningless nothings. Their words meant nothing to him. Their presence wasn't appreciated by any amount.

Then one by one they had shuffled out, leaving him alone once more.

Gibbs heard the familiar creak on the stair as he tried to busy himself with his woodwork. Gibbs looked up from the workbench. "You still here?" He gruffly aimed at the pigtailed lab Tech. Who was once his colleague and friend. If he was in a good mood he might have even have said she was a daughter to him in some ways...

"Gibbs..." She simpered. "We're worried about you." Abby made her way quickly down the wooden stairs, her heavy platform boots clunking on each stair.

"I'm worried about you." She said when reaching the bottom step.

"Don't be."

"How can I?!" Abby frowned. "You hide yourself away from the outside, from us; your friends, for countless days, Gibbs." She stepped into his personal space.

"I want to be left alone, Ab." He looked up at her.

"Well I don't want you to be." She frowned again. Her voice, her light green eyes full of sadness solely for Gibbs. "You need to be around people, Gibbs. People who love you." Abby tried a sad smile directed at the silver haired male but instead he looked away from her. His eyes clouded from extensive drinking, no sleep and days of being cooped up alone in his basement, breathing in the sawdust.

Gibbs looked her over. His questioning gaze wandered over her body. Almost forgetting what she looked like from seeing her long ago.

Abby moved closer to her old friend. "I know what'll cheer you up." She pressed her lips together and prised his hand away from his side. Moving it onto her stomach her smile broadened when she looked him in the eye.

"I think I'm pregnant with McGee's baby." Her voice, perky and full of unbound joy when she smiled.

"Why would that make me happy?" He grumbled.

Abby quickly searched his gaze for the reason for his coldness and rudeness. How could he say that? She tried, desperately to not break down and cry in front of her old boss as he stood callous and still. The cold in his eyes matching his rough hands which she let go from. "Because I want you to be Godfather."

Gibbs' eyes narrowed slightly before colliding her cheek with his hand. The sound of flesh on flesh ringing out in the small, dark basement before she gasped and whimpered within seconds of each other. Her eyes watering with unshed tears which dared to spill out and run down her cheeks at any given moment. Her cheek that stung like a swarm of angry bees. Abby swore the skin must be broken out in red or pink flesh from the sudden impact. She also swore at the pain ensuing within her cheek.

Abby gasped in shock. Her pulse thudding in her head and heart, fear spreading it's way through her for his sudden out of the blue action. He never hurt her. He never raised a hand to her. The old Gibbs wouldn't have.

"Gibbs!" She sobbed. "How could you do that?" She covered her hurt cheek with her hand, crossing her arms over herself protectively, also.

"What's the thinking?" He growled in her face. Putting his own inches from hers. Gibbs flicked his gaze from her sorrowful eyes to her trembling lips. "You just make me Godfather so you can watch me screw up again?" Gibbs hissed. "Have you forgotten what happened to be daughter? My family?"

He gritted his teeth, grabbing her arms in his large hands, hard enough to leave a bruise. "Get out of here before I drag you out."

She trapped his own arms in her smaller, daintier shaking hands. Feeling the withered muscle inside from near to nil use and careless behaviour. She pressed her lips together as he removed her from his controlling grasp. As Abby Sciuto took a breath, a mild shake of her head and a sniffle later the sorrow she felt for herself was banished. He was still hurting. Deep inside, keeping it bottled up until he could stand it no longer. "You're not the Gibbs I once knew, aren't you?" Abby pierced his gaze with hers, her voice, soft and coated in misery.

Abby moved away from him.

"Hey? Abby, you done talking to Gi-" McGee appeared at the doorway and looked down at the pair.

Abby blinked away any lingering tears, turned to McGee and tracked up the stairs to her lover. "Abby, what's wrong?" Tim looked at the bleary eyed sight of his girlfriend, clutching her cheek with shaking hands. She moved past him and out the door without a word.

"What the hell did you do to her?" McGee retorted at the scruffy bearded and clothed Gibbs.

"Nothin', Tim." He huffed out. "Just get out. And take your bitch with you." Gibbs turned his back to his old colleague and went back to his woodwork, picking up a near empty bottle of bourbon. Pulling out the stopper, he knocked back the reminder of the drink. Draining , drinking the last dregs, feeling the alcohol burn his mouth and throat. Finally feeling something after days of nothing...

Gibbs woke up growling at the tortuous position he'd slept in on the sofa.

Pushing the sheets off him, he sat up, moving his legs off the sofa then running a hand through his mussed bed hair. Another bad dream played within his sleep deprived mind.

Putting a hand to his opposite shoulder. Beneath, he felt a bandage patch from when the EMT fixed him up earlier. Underneath which was a nick from a bullet which could've meant the end of him had the shooter had more accuracy. If it was a few inches lower it would've blown his shoulder.

Since the possible near death experience he'd been diseased with bad dreams. The odd and possible scenarios had he not taken the path to join NIS, had he spotted Ari on that rooftop, if he'd not pulled the trigger to kill his family's killer...

He would have turned out different. He would be the shell of the man he was today. Jobless. Alcoholic. Depressed. Alone in his basement on days on end; just like what his most recent dream told him.

Gibbs clenched his fist, rubbing his fingers together. Feeling the cold callouses ebb with memories from his dream about striking Abby. His favourite, his surrogate daughter in many ways. He would never hit her, he would never raise a hand to her or any female for that matter.

Gibbs pulled his tired body from off the couch, making his way upstairs to throw on a hoodie upstairs. Deciding the best thing to do was to visit his dream's main character. To check on her.

He arrived at her apartment, knocking gently on her door.

He would only check up on her if she was awake and if she wanted him there.

Abby opened the door to him, hugging him affectionately after immediately seeing him. "Giiibbs!" She excitedly greeted him. "You okay?" She pulled back hearing him wince ever so slightly as his shoulder still pained him.

"Fine. Did I wake you?" He questioned, seeing the dim lighting within her home.

"Nah, not sleepy yet." She bounced back. "Ooh, you come bearing gifts." Abby noticed the paper bag and coffee cups in his arm.

"Hot chocolate and Danish. Thought I'd treat ya." He smirked at the younger lab Tech.

Abby beamed a warm smile at him, standing in her doorway in nothing but her gothic pyjamas and her long dark raven hair loose, free from any bangs as it curled around her shoulders, catching on the collar of her PJs.

Gibbs held the bag of pastries up for her. "Can I come in? They're gettin' cold."

"Sure." She invited him in and took the Danish from him. Seeing there was a single plain one and a luscious strawberry one inside. "How's the shoulder?" Abby asked him as she got a plate and knife to serve the Danish from the open plan kitchen.

Gibbs gave a slight shake of head and looked over at Abby, sitting on the black couch in the middle of the room, half blocking his view of her. He took the lids off the cups of hot chocolate so they cooled. "Nothing to worry about."

Abby came over with the served Danish on a plate cut in half, each piece oozing it's insides. "Aw." She frowned gently and sat next to Gibbs, offering the food.

Abby curled up on the sofa and took a sip of her hot chocolate. Expressing a noise to compliment the sweet taste on her buds.

"How's the brother?" He looked across at her, seeing her eyes loose a fraction of their brightness.

"Oh. Um, I've decided to not push it any further. At least for now." She squeezed her lips together and licked any remaining chocolate off her lips. "I don't really think about it..." She sighed and looked away.

Gibbs closed his hand over hers. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." He reassured her, taking his time to read her expression.

Abby nodded and snuggled up to Gibbs' side, breaking the contact of their hands momentarily.

Bending her legs onto the sofa she took the plate from Gibbs. "Aw, you only had one piece." She solemnly pointed out.

Gibbs moved his now free hand around her shoulders, feeling her sink into his touch.

"I got 'em for you." He gave her arm a gentle reassuring rub as she took a bite from the strawberry pastry.

"So, what have I done to deserve such a generous treat from my boss-man?" Abby queried with a mouth half-full of the light flaky Danish.

"I need a reason to treat my favourite now, Abs?" The corner of his mouth quirked up slightly as he watched her munch away. "How's the cocoa?"

"Mm, it's good. I'm saving it till last." She then moved the plate to the table in front of her, before curling herself more into him. "You are staying aren't you?" She asked Gibbs.

"I was just planning on just giving you these and going-" Gibbs muttered, smoothing a few strands of hair off her face.

"Don't. I like using you as a pillow..." She sleepily mumbled.

'Not sleepy my ass...' Gibbs smirked at her now tired state, her beautiful green cat's eyes closed to him as she rested her face on his chest. Her black raven hair fanned out over his arm and shoulder as she lay on him, wrestling for sleep. "Ah, might as well. As long as you want me here." Gibbs pressed a short kiss into her hair then moved himself into a prostrate position on the sofa, cradling her smaller body against his.

"I do." She squirmed into his touch. "So what's got ya all touchy-feely, Gibbs?" Abby chuckled gently. "The guy with the gun made you all melancholy?"

He stared a hole in the opposite arm of the couch. "You could say that." Gibbs inhaled deeply before tightening his hold on her as Gibbs looked over at her calm form. She'd been through hell thanks to him. The recent discovery of a brother she never knew about for all her life and that she was adopted was the tip of the iceberg, though he could dodge the metaphorical bullet for that one. Though her own lab assistant trying to kill her, the ex-boyfriend and the terrorist almost murdering her with a sniper rifle and the other near death experiences she's gone through was. Then, most recently the ordeal with the Reynossa Cartel, threatening to kill her, planting the day of the dead doll on her car... it made his skin crawl thinking about how close someone could get to her with the intent to harm her.

He let out the lungful of breath he hadn't realised he's been holding inside. "I wish I could keep all the bad things away..." He mumbled close to her ear, moving both his arms around her; subconsciously protecting her.

"You do. You might not think you do... but you do." She sighed contented feeling warmth radiate from her man beneath her, even through his thick hoodie.

"I thought you were asleep." Gibbs chided.

"I'm not that fast, Gibbs! I'm not magic!" Abby shot back, cheekily, a small throaty laugh rumbled from deep within her.

"I dunno... when you've had a Caf-POW! Some might think that." Gibbs smiled slightly against her but it went unnoticed by his slumbering friend.

Though that being said. She was much more to him than a friend and colleague, Gibbs loved her like a daughter, a surrogate daughter. Their relationship, student/teacher on the surface; as she was always ready to learn from him. But then when ever he kissed her and he kissed her cheek numerous times. There was that spark which makes him think if their student/teacher relationship was a little more than that, that it could quite easily be a volatile mix of chemicals, emotions and feelings. But then again as he looked over her, she could quite possibly be an embodiment of what Kelly might have grown up to be... and that's why he loved her. But nonetheless he loved her. He loved her with every fibre in his body and would protect her with the last breath in his body.

Thank you for reading. I hope you all liked reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Reviews make me happy. ;)

DCIPHOENIX