It Is You (I Have Loved)ummary: Set a fortnight after Romania, Phil's feelings about everything that has happened between him and Sam. Pure SP fluff. Song is It Is You (I Have Loved) from the soundtrack to Shrek. Plz R&R luv Gemz xx
I'm sat at my desk in CID, gazing lovingly across the room at the woman of my dreams. I never, ever thought that we would end up here.
There is something that I see
In the way you look at me
There's a smile, there's a truth in your eyes
Samantha Nixon. I hated her when she first arrived, after only her second day at Sun Hill; she was promoted to Acting DI above all the rest of us. I resented her hugely because of that one incident. Even I can't deny that I checked her out everytime she bent over me. Back then, I couldn't help myself, I'd go after anything of the opposite sex as long as they had a pulse. That was the way I was, a sex addict. Her biggest case as DI, the Serial Killer case. Just because she solved the case, it doesn't mean that she deserves anymore of my respect. If Duncan hadn't turned up when he did, she'd have become another victim of Pat Kitson's.
But an unexpected way
On this unexpected day
Could it mean this is where I belong
It is you I have loved all along
Even I can't deny that I was delighted when she got passed over for the permanent position of DI. She thought she was untouchable, and yet the only reason she didn't get that job was because of her personal problems with Abi. Neil Manson got the job instead, we were at Hendon together and I still considered him a mate. With the arrival of Manson, Samantha Nixon was back down to DS, just like me. She was no longer my superior, she was my equal. And yet, even after her demotion, she still treated me in the same way as she did when she was Acting DI.
It's no more mystery
It is finally clear to me
You're the home my heart searched for so long
And it is you I have loved all along
I really should've known that my past would catch up with me sooner or later. Dennis Weaver. I knew that he wasn't going to forget me sleeping with Christine, fathering her child, just like that. Sam was there when he took his revenge: by shooting me in the leg. Sam really laid into me down in that tunnel: telling me that I was selfish. I told Sam a lot of things that I'd never told anyone else and she just sat there and listened. Down in those tunnels, I saw a different side to Sam. The caring, compassionate side that didn't get seen by many. I began to wonder whether things would progress between us.
There were times I ran to hide
Afraid to show the other side
Alone in the night without you
When Abi was abducted, I was there for Sam when she needed someone most. When everyone was accusing her of being a crap mother; I wasn't accusing her of anything. I was there for Sam at every stage of the investigation and I was as relieved as her when Abi turned up alive and well. I couldn't believe it when Abi decided she'd rather go home with Hugh than go back to Sam. I never had much time for the bloke but I never, ever thought he'd do something like that. It was probably then that I began to come round to Sam's idea that Hugh abducted Abi. When Sam kidnapped Abi, I couldn't believe that she'd go to such lengths to try and make her see sense. I was prepared to do anything I could to help Sam out. In a way, I think I was repaying my debt to her after she saved my life in that tunnel. When Abi eventually admitted that Hugh had kidnapped her, I was glad that she'd finally seen sense and I could see how happy it made Sam to have her daughter back. If Sam was happy, then I was happy.
But now I know just who you are
And I know you hold my heart
Finally this is where I belong
It is you I have loved all along
In a way, I really regret going to that Sex Addicts clinic. Although it helped me change my ways, if I hadn't gone then maybe I would have met Kate and got her pregnant. I know how upset that made Sam. When she rejected me in the DI's office, I knew that I'd made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I knew I shouldn't have hooked up with Kate and it also made me realise that I still had a problem. I couldn't just forget it, I had to change, there was no other option. Me and Sam had become really close friends and I wasn't prepared to ruin our friendship because of a one-night-stand.
It's no more mystery Over and over
It is finally clear to me
You're the home my heart searched for so long
And it is you I have loved all along
I'm filled with emotion
Your love, it rushes through my veins
But then another obstacle to my friendship with her came along: in the form of Stuart Turner. He'd only been here five minutes and he'd already begun to hit on Sam. I admit I was jealous of their closeness. When I found out that Sam and Stuart were seeing each other, I found it really difficult to disguise both my jealousy and hatred for Stuart. Everything was going really well for me and Sam until he came along. When she told me that she and Stuart were moving in together, I was really upset. I tried my best to hide it, for Sam's sake. If that was what she wanted then I'd be happy for her. I was there for her, especially during the whole pregnancy thing. Sam confided in me about her fears: ME, she chose to confide in me. That should've said something about our friendship; I think she trusted me with that more than she did Stuart. I was there for her when she eventually lost the baby, I told how sorry I was for her; I wasn't sorry for Stuart at all, he didn't take the news well about Sam's pregnancy, he deserved to lose that baby. When Sam and Stuart split up, I supported her, she was a friend, a very close friend. Maybe a bit more, I didn't want to take advantage. Then Romania happened, the sexual tension between us erupted in that back street B&B. That was the most fabulous night of my life; it wasn't where I hoped we'd get it together. People say things happen in the most unexpected situations, that was certainly true with me and Sam.
And I am filled It's no more mystery
With the sweetest devotion
As I, I look into your perfect face
It is finally clear to me
You're the home my heart searched for so long
And it is you I have loved
It is you I have loved
It is you I have loved all along
I'm still sat in CID, gazing at the gorgeous woman standing across the room from me. We've only been back from Romania a fortnight and everything that has happened between over the last couple of years has confirmed what I've suspected for a while. That Sam is the woman for me, me and her belong together. I know that now. Through all the good times and the bad times, Sam has always been there for me, no matter what. It is her that I've loved all along.
So what do you think? Press the blue button and let me know luv Gemz xx