It's KIBBS. Hope you like it.
The desperation
Why? Why did you have to leave me? I know for sure that's impossible but I can feel your presence. Because everytime you were stepping into a room, in which I was, I felt it. I can feel how your breath touches my skin. I smell your parfume. Feel your arms around me. All these things are impossible because you're not here. Not in my life anymore. It's just not right. I miss you like hell. When I go through the city with no directions, I don't really see the people, who are crossing my way. Everything is so blurry. All I can see clearly is your face with your sparlking eyes. They are haunting me. Also the pain, the memories and our love. I can't hide anywhere. You're so deep in my heart. It hurts so much. I don't know where to go with this huge pain. All I know is that I'm not willing to let you go. All I want is that we are living our lives together, holding us in eachothers arms and never let go.
While I'm writing these lines I see your face and your smile. If anyone asked me right now I would say that you're standing beside me and you are looking over my shoulder to see what I'm writing. This feeling is not in a way to describe. These are all wishes and wanteds. They can't happen. I know that but I can't realize the reality. Maybe I will never.
Why you just couldn't stay with me? I see your face and you in front of me and I reach out for you but you disappeare. I still waiting for you in the dark with your picture in my hand and hope that you would come back to me. When I will look at the stars in the sky I can see one of them ist shining brighter than the others and that is the last one that is fading into the raising sun. I hear your whisper in the cold wind and when I'm sad I can hear you call across the sky. This is nothing that could take the pain away. I can't be without you because I've built my world around you. We built us a life and now you're gone. You just left it. You left me with all the pain inside of me and with all the love that I have for you. I never wanted to know what's it like without you. But since a few weeks I have to deal wich this fact. I know for sure that noone will ever be able to touch my heart like the way you did. But I have to go on. That would be probably one thing you would tell me. But it's not that easy like you think it is. I still have the desire to hold you, to smell your parfume. I will never get the chance to feel that again. I know one day there is one person that will be so important in my life but in a different way like you were. I will never love anybody like I loved you and still love and will love. I miss you so much.
Why did you so easily walk away from me? I know that I will never get the answers to my questions before we meet eachother again. So I have to wait. Till then I have to live with my memories of you.