So, when I heard one of Mr. Hippos lines from the Ultimate Custom Night, the first thing I thought of was Bendy saying to Henry about how much of a terrible sin he'd committed, and then press forth into Bendy recalling a time he spend with Boris at a graveyard (Tombstone Picnic).

I knew that I had to make a parody to that story!

. . .

I guess writer's block isn't letting me go, now is it?

No matter, just enjoy~!


Original dialogue text belongs to Scott Cawthon, the creator of the Ultimate Custom Night.

Bendy, Boris and the whole BATIM franchise belongs to theMeatly.

There may be some slight spoilers, but be cautious while you proceed to reading.


My friend, you have committed a terrible, dreadful sin. But, uh, y'know, I-I don't think ya should feel too bad 'bout it. After all, if... If it weren't you, it would've just been someone else, y'know? I guess what I'm tryin' to say is, life... Life, it'll go on. W-well, from—for someone else, life, it'll go on. Not... Not for you. You're... You're dead. But that's neither here nor there.

It reminds me of one day at a graveyard. I was havin' just a delightful picnic with my ol' pal Boris. An' I said to him, I said, "Boris, I... I got a story."

An' he said to me, "What'll be the significance of the story?"

An'... I said to him, "Ol' chum, not every story has 'ta have significance, y'know? Sometimes, a... Y'know, sometimes, a story's just a plain, ol' story. Ya try to read into every little thing, an' find meanin' in everythin' anyone says, you'll just drive yourself crazy. Had one of my creators do it once. Wasn't pretty. We suffered in a demonic form for years. An' then not only that, but... You'll likely end up believin' somethin' ya shouldn't believe, thinkin' somethin' ya shouldn't think, o-o-or assumin' somethin' ya shouldn't assume. Y'know? Sometimes," I said,"A story is-is just a story, so just be quiet for one second of your life and eat your sandwich, 'kay?"

Of course, it was only then I'd realized I'd made sandwiches, and... Poor Boris was gonna have such difficulty digestin' it! Wolfs' systems don't handle stuff like that very well, y'know? Actually, I-I suppose that's the problem. They'd get sick if they eat stuff like that, won't they? An' I-I couldn't imagine anyone askin' me to eat a somethin' that could kill me!

Now, if I recall correctly, there was a bacon soup shop nearby. I said to him, "Boris, let me go get ya a can of bacon soup."

Now, I'm unsure if wolfs enjoy bacon soup, but I'd assure you that ol' Boris does.

Now, this was on a Tuesday, which was good, 'cus bacon soup was always sellin' on Tuesday. They made chicken soup on Monday, and threw it out Wednesday... Or they'd sell it at a discount for people wantin' 'ta feed it to the ducks, and then, prob'ly at the end of the day, they threw it all out.

I-I don't recall...

I do remember a man who'd bring his son to the bakery every Wednesday, an'... Then they'd go feed the ducks. He'd buy all of the chicken soup. Of course, y'know, you're not supposed 'ta feed the ducks chicken soup at all. It messes with their stomach, an' then they'll die. At, uh, at least... At least, that's what I've heard. Y'know, I-I never saw any ducks die myself, but I did notice a drop in the duck population over the course of 30 years. I just never thought 'ta stop the man an' tell him that he was killin' them ducks by feeding 'em chicken soup! And if ya want my opinion on the matter—heh, an' I told ol' Boris this as well—if you wanna feed ducks, or birds of any kind, it's best 'ta buy 'em seed. I mean, when ya think 'bout it, soups of any kind don't appear in nature. They ain't gonna grow on trees o-or spring up from the bushes. I don't think birds know what 'ta do with soup.

...What was I sayin'?

Oh, oh!

So I bought Boris some bacon soup.

It was a fine day...