Okay, so I had a sudden urge to write this. I was dreaming when I wrote this, so forgive me if it goes astray. (Prince, anyone? No? Okay…) Anyway, I wrote this completely totaled for the day so it might be quite random. (And I know that Pirates of the Caribbean wasn't out during the Marauder's time, but hey, it's my story. So just pretend like it was.)

**UPDATE 11Nov2013: Re-written. Same premise, written better.**

DISCLAIMER: HARRY POTTER BELONGS TO THE GREAT JK ROWLING. IF I OWNED IT, SIRIUS BLACK THE GREAT WOULD STILL BE ALIVE AND KICKING. That is all.

Sirius POV

One can just tell when a day will be good when all of your friends are sleeping peacefully and looking just as innocent as you know they aren't when you wake up. Their countenance just screams, "Hey Padfoot! Wake me up now, will you?" And what kind of friend would I be if I refused the obvious request?

I cracked my knuckles. "Ahem. WAKE UP YOU GITS. THE WORLD IS ENDING; ZOMBIES HAVE TAKEN OVER. ALIENS ARE INVADING."

I heard no response, and desperate times call for desperate measures. "QUIDDITCH WAS CANCELLED."

My mates shot right on up at that one.

"Wha- wassgoinon?" asked James. "Quidditch can't be can-," he paused for a moment, as he seemed to have realized something. He groaned and stuffed a pillow over his face. "Padfoot I fucking hate you."

Remus seemed to have come to a similar conclusion as I saw his pillow come flying at me and hitting me squarely in the face.

My mates are just so rude. I was speaking to them very calmly to respond to their silent plea and what do I get? Cursed out and a pillow to the face. "YOU GUYS ARE SO RUDE."

Then, they had the audacity to look at me, like I'm the crazy one. I also think I heard Moony mutter something about 'always getting the crazies.' That must be some horrible disease; he should probably go get it checked out.

I got up swiftly and trudged over to the bathroom. I threw open the door and slammed it shut behind me. I think I might have gotten it to 80 decibels that time. New record.

Once I got myself situated with the water at the exact right temperature, I stepped in. I was singing (very beautifully, I might add) when James once again rudely interrupted me. He was yelling something about me sounding like a dying cat. Yeah, right. And Peter's the Queen of China. He was just jealous.

I quickly finished my shower and went to throw on my school uniform and robes. (I think these are clean...) I soon heard the person who went into the shower next, dear Prongsie, yell at me for taking all the hot water.

I yelled back, "It wasn't me, it was Remus!"

"Padfoot, I'm not stupid, unlike you. Remus hasn't even been in the shower yet."

Oh, right. Damn.

As they continued getting ready for classes, I quickly scribbled out a bullshit essay for Transfiguration. This seemed to remind Peter of something because once he saw what I was doing, he yelled, "oh crap" and started writing something himself. Sucker.

Once all of them were done getting ready for a day of S.C.H.O.O.L. (Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives), we headed down for one of the most important meals of the day: breakfast. I specifically said "one of" because if I skipped one of the others, I would die. And everyone would have to mourn and go to my funeral. It would be a sad day for everyone around the world and would be the most melancholy day in all of history, so it is for the good of all mankind that I do not have a meal preference.

Most of the day went by as our school days usually do: Moony taking notes, Peter daydreaming, Prongsie and I sleeping. It was a pretty good day, all things considered.

When we finally made it back to the common room after such a hard day, we took our favourite chairs nearest to the fire. I was humming along to a song that I couldn't remember the name of, when Prongs once again interrupted me.

"Shut the fuck up before I put a Silencing Charm on you."

I said, "You guys are being so rude today."

They all gave me a deadpan look and Moony said, "Padfoot, you're so fucking stupid."

Exhibit A.

I leaned back into my armchair and slumped down. I sighed loudly as I tapped my fingers on my leg to the beat of the song I was previously humming. I scanned around the common room only to find everyone either doing homework or playing chess. It was simply too quiet for my liking, so I decided to break the pattern of silence.

"I'M BORED," I yelled.

The other Marauders gave each other significant looks and rolled their eyes.

Prongs asked, "Yeah, so? What do you want to do?"

I pondered for a moment before responding, "Let's go to edaemsgoh."

They all gave me confused looks. Now I rolled my eyes, leaned in, and whispered, "Hogsmeade you dumbasses."

Moony brought up a stupid question. "Well why didn't you just say so?"

Obviously I did it to encode the message, and it was pretty obvious what it meant anyway. I didn't get a chance to say this, however, because it just so happened that everyone had just cleared the common room, so we were okay to go.

Peter ran up to our dorm to get the Map and the Cloak, and then we were off. We marched (well, I did) to the stature of the one-eyed witch, where we gave the password ("Dissendium"). We entered through the old hag's hump and started on the somewhat long walk to Honeyduke's. I once again concluded that it was much too quiet and decided to quote Captain Jack Sparrow.

I figured some props would come in handy though, so I conjured up a jar of dirt and some smooth stones.

"I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it." Remus suddenly stopped right in front of me and I ran into him. He looked at me questioningly, and opened his mouth to ask something, but shook his head and closed it again. He continued walking, but I was curious about what he was about to ask.

"What? What. WHAT? Whaaaat? Mooooonnnnnyyyyy tell meeeeee…"

He reached for the jar of dirt I was holding.

"DON'T TOUCH MY DIRT."

His eyes widened and he put his hands up in surrender.

"Fine, fine. But what is this for?"

I would have thought that that was obvious. "Because I am Captain Jack Sparrow and a certain beastie is after me."

He blinked. "Jack Sparrow?"

I replied, "There should be a 'Captain' in there somewhere."

He opened his mouth, closed it again, turned and continued walking again.

Like I'mthe crazy one.

The jar was starting to feel heavy, so I chucked it towards the nearest wall and it shattered. The others jumped at the noise.

James politely asked, "What in the bloody fuck was that for?"

To which I responded nice and slowly (because obviously they were behind), "The jar was heavy."

James looked at me funny. "So... Instead of just vanishing it or setting it down, you felt the need to throw it at a wall?"

See? He gets it sometimes. "Of course!"

He looked at me incredulously at that. (I had so much hope for that boy.) "Sirius, you're bloody mad."

I smiled. "Thank you." Who wants to be normal anyway?

I took the stones I had also conjured and transfigured them into the little crab-things like in the movie. "Now we're being followed by rocks. Never had that one before."

They looked back and saw the crab-stones moving. They rolled their eyes and kept walking. The nerve.

As we continued walking (this passage is damn long, isn't it), I decided another quote was due. I squinted at Peter and said, "You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?" They all looked at me like I was insane again. Can't a guy be Captain Jack Sparrow for a short span of time without seeming insane? I suppose that would defeat part of the purpose... Semantics.

I sighed dramatically and kept walking down the passageway. We finally came to the trapdoor, and I was volunteered to look for any people that could be near the exit (we made that mistake once and it will not happen again). I opened the door a crack and peered out. There was no one there.

James asked, "No one there?"

I answered, "Aye me matey. There be no landlubbers in sight." He rolled his eyes and told me to just go into the cellar already.

Once we all got up, we went into the actual store part of Honeydukes. We got some candy and left the money in the register. (I might be acting like a pirate, but I'm not going to steal.) We quickly put the candy into the trapdoor so as not to have to carry it around, and then we left.

We crept around the city's streets, but our inner Marauder brought us to the best store on the face of the Earth: Zonko's. We stocked up on the latest pranks and picked up a few of the classics, once again putting the money in the register.

We wandered aimlessly until we came to the Three Broomsticks. We knew Rosmerta wouldn't tell on us for being out, so we went inside and ordered some butterbeers. We talked for a while about various topics, such as Quidditch and pranks, and then decided to go head back to the castle.

Before we knew it, we were back in Honeydukes, through the trapdoor, collecting our candy, and making our way back to the castle. The trip back was just as long as the trip there, and infinitely more boring.

Once we got to the exit once again, I checked the map to make sure the coast was clear. "Mr. Grouchy Ass and his Sidekick Mrs. What's-her-face are both nowhere near where we are or where we are going."

We left the passage and headed back to Gryffindor tower, occasionally checking the Map for the Not-so-Dynamic Duo. We made it there in one piece, never finding Filch, Peeves, or a teacher. We went back up to our dorm.

Once I threw my bags down at the foot of my bed, I decided that it looked very much like a trampoline, so I backed up to have a proper running start, then ran back and jumped onto it. I jumped up and down, getting yelled at by Moony to sit my ass down and go to bed.

I sighed. I was actually pretty tired. I must have been too normal today. I should probably work on that…