The Love That Is Left
By Haloless
Summary: During the first war. A wealthy housewife who is the victim of domestic violence. A lonely, unfulfilled man who seeks for something to live for. A young couple whose marriage is slowly falling apart. SSLE, JPNM.
Disclaimer: Not mine. If it was, it would be one hell of a lot different.
A/N: I probably won't get many readers because no one agrees with me when I say that James and Lily were a terrible match (although Lily and Severus and James and Narcissa are hardly better from a logical standpoint), but whatever. I don't care. I have the right to agree with and disagree with any pairing I so choose. So sue me. –Haloless, Wingless Angel of the White Forest (don't ask about the name)
Chapter One: Narcissa
"NARCARA!"
It had always been my husband's pet name for me- the first syllable of my name combined with the Italian word cara, which meant "my dear". When our love had blossomed, it had been said with fondness. When it had ripened, with passion. When it had been steadied, with comfort. But now that it was waning… with anger. With anger and demand.
"NARCARA!" Lucius yelled again. He was drunk, as he usually was after his Death Eater meetings- the Dark Lord had never been one to provide a softer beverage.
"Un momento!" I called back, quickly closing the drapes in the baby's room. A little-known fact- the Italian tongue does well to sooth wizarding infants.
Gently, I placed little Draco in his cradle, then covering him with a silken sheet and cashmere blanket.
I stroked his soft face with two of my fingers. "Sonno bene, il mio amore."
"NARCISSA! NOW!"
Narcissa. No longer Narcara, but Narcissa. What had I done to make him angry enough to remember my real name?
I left Draco to sleep and flew down the marble staircase to greet Lucius.
"Lucius, my love," I addressed him, only too aware of the submissiveness in my voice, "Have I displeased you?"
It was obvious from the look in his eyes that he had been drinking- a lot.
"You," he snarled, "You! You have trespassed into my private chamber! Devil woman!"
First Narcara, then Narcissa, now devil woman. What was I to be next? I had not even known of the chamber's existence- I had merely stumbled upon the subterranean room while searching the drawing room for Draco's lost teddy bear. Didn't he trust me at all? I had realized my mistake and left as soon as I had seen all of the Dark Arts trinkets that Lucius held so dear.
I was now groveling at his feet. "Lucius… forgive me… I was foolish…"
"No doubt about that!" hollered Lucius, "You are my wife, woman! You should not be snooping around in my personal space!"
"Yes, Lucius… absolutely… I apologize…"
Lucius scowled at me, his eyes blazing with drunken wrath. "Not good enough!"
He hit me across the face quickly, then spat on me.
"You'll have to sleep in another room tonight," he ordered, "And tomorrow, I'm locking you in the dungeons!"
"Not the dungeons!" I shrieked instinctively.
Whenever I had greatly displeased Lucius, he would lock me in the dungeons beneath the manor. I hate the dark- even though I was a Slytherin during my years at Hogwarts, I had never been comfortable with shadows and the things that they concealed. And now there was Draco to take care of as well… how long would he survive without me? Surely Lucius would not give him a care?
"Yes," hissed Lucius in a sinister answer, "The dungeons. I'd pack your things if I were you, Narcissa."
And with that, he stalked up to our bedroom, nearly falling down the stairs twice.
Without thinking, I rushed back up to Draco's room and picked up the sleeping infant. I wrapped my baby in the blanket that I had placed over him, grabbing a few of his favorite toys, a change of clothes, and a few diapers. I then hurried to my own chamber- not the bedroom I shared with Lucius, but the chamber in which I kept my clothes and belongings- and silently packed for myself. I shoved what I had decided to take for both of us into an old trunk that had belonged to my father.
"We're going to go and stay with your godfather for a while," I told Draco after I had placed the trunk in the fireplace and grabbed a fistful of floo powder. I sent the trunk first, then took my baby and some more power into the fireplace with me. I opened my mouth to speak the destination.
"Spinner's End!"
And so it was that we ended up in the fireplace of my best friend.
"Severus!" I whispered sharply, although careful not to wake Draco, "Severus! It's me! Narcissa!"
No response. I was starting to become irritated.
"There's no use hiding," I continued, "I know you're here, Severus Snape!"
At once, every candle in the room was lit to reveal my best friend Severus Snape standing right in front of me.
"It's a good thing I got back when I did," he began slowly, "Otherwise you would be alone in the shadows. I know how you loathe the dark, Narcissa Malfoy."
Despite accusations from various others in our circle, Severus and I had never been romantically involved- our friendship was strictly platonic, and had been sense we were children. His mother's brother had married my aunt, making us sort of unrelated cousins. However, my father had never allowed me to associate with Severus often because of his half-blood parentage (his father had been a muggle). Once we had come to Hogwarts, though, we had been nearly inseparable.
Severus strode over and grabbed my trunk. "So, Lucius came home drunk again, I'm assuming? They did get a little out of hand at the meeting."
This was one of the things I admired about Severus. He didn't get drunk for fun- only to ease his own pain.
I nodded, showing him the bruise on my face. "Can Draco and I live here for a while?"
Severus frowned, placing a gentle hand where Lucius had hit me. "Of course. You are always welcome here, Cissa."
He led me upstairs to his spare bedroom. There, he conjured up a crib for Draco and sent all of my things flying into the right drawers.
"Your problems with Lucius are growing," muttered Severus, turning towards me, "He isn't treating you right. Cissa, you and your child are victims of abuse and neglect."
"I know," I admitted, partly to Severus and partly to myself, "But I love him. I try to convince myself that I don't, but I do."
"But that is the problem. Love is like a scale- if both sides are not evenly balanced, then it is disturbed until the inequality is remedied."
He paused, as if searching for the right words. "Narcissa, cara, you love Lucius more than he loves you. The difficulties of your marriage are his fault, not yours."
"Yes… but I sometimes think…"
Severus raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"
I took a deep breath, then began. "Maybe… I should find someone else to love. Someone who will love me back, perhaps?"
"As in have an affair!" he exclaimed and demanded at the same time, "Narcissa… that is unthinkable! We both know Lucius, do you know what he'd do to both you and your lover?"
"I know," I assured him, "But I have received an offer from someone… someone I was once very fond of… and he was very fond of me. He too is in an unsatisfactory marriage, Severus! We are both looking for love… what if we find it in each other?"
He scowled. "Just who is this man?"
I glanced at the ground. "You will not like this. It is James Potter."
The angry look on Severus's face grew even more frightening. "Do you know what that man did to me as a child? He drove me to the point of attempted suicide!"
"I know all of this!" I exclaimed in retaliation, "But we're all adults now, Severus! How would you feel if you were the man who stepped between me and my eternal happiness?"
He went quiet. "You're right. I'm sorry, Cissa."
I smiled. "It's alright, Sev."
"Listen," Severus continued, "If you want Potter… well, go now and get him. I happen to know for a fact that his Lily is visiting her parents."
"And how do you know this?" I asked in a teasing manner, "Is the reason for James's failing marriage standing right in front of me?"
Severus shook his head. "No, I am not having an affair with Lily. I ran into her last night in the Hog's Head, though."
"What was she doing there?"
"No idea. But with any luck, she finds out about her husband's infidelities and leaves him- I daresay it would serve him right, the slimy bastard."
We shared a quick smile.
"I shall be back tomorrow morning," I stated with a new found confidence, "Will you be able to handle Draco?"
"Shouldn't be too hard- I can handle you."
I shoved him playfully, then we kissed goodbye and I apparated to the front door of the house in Godric's Hollow.
I knocked on the door cautiously. What if Lily was here after all?
But it wasn't Lily who answered the door.
"Hello, James," I slurred, staring into those bespectacled hazel eyes.
A/N: Yeah, sorry for the short chapter and cliffhanger ending. Anyway, I filed this story under Narcissa and Severus, but Lily and James are equally important to the plot. I know that Sev and Cissa are out of character, but I hope I've done that effectively. Also, I'd like to apologize for my obsession with the Italian language- it's a terrible habit, but what can I do? Well, until next chapter- arrivederchi! And please review!- Haloless, Wingless Angel of the White Forest (again, don't ask)
