At the sound of his electronic alarm clock going off at the exact time of 6:00 A.M., Kyle groggily opened his eyes and rolled out of bed. He turned off the alarm and, without bothering to change from his night clothes or brush out his graying shoulder length wavy red hair, walked out of the bedroom. His grass green eyes traveled down the hallway and to the closed door that he ultimately walked to. He took a deep breath with his hand on the doorknob and pushed the door open.
Sitting up in a twin-sized bed was a man the same age as Kyle, his once raven hair had turned light gray and his dark eyes were staring vacantly at the framed photographs on the wooden dresser against the opposite wall staring back at him. Family portraits, pictures of friends from years past.
None of which those blank eyes said he recognized.
Kyle's eyes fell to the man's chin, where dark stubble was beginning to poke through. "Craig," he forced a small smile, "you need a shave again."
Craig looked over at Kyle vacantly. He didn't utter a word, the look in his eyes asked the unheard question, "Who are you?"
Still with that forced smile on his face, Kyle walked over to Craig and grabbed his hand to help him out of bed. "Come on," he muttered, "I'll clean you up for the day." Slowly, he led Craig towards the bathroom, where he gave his husband a sponge bath, shaved his face, dressed him, and brushed his hair out. "There you go honey. All clean." He smiled again.
...
She shaves his face, she combs his hair
...
Kyle grabbed Craig's hand again and led him out to the living room and more specifically over to a wooden rocking chair next to a window overlooking their backyard. He waited until Craig seemed content in his chair before dismissing himself into the kitchen to make his beloved's breakfast for him.
...
She helps him find his rocking chair
She cooks his meals, she wipes his mouth
And the window that he's looking out
...
Ten minutes later, Kyle emerged from the kitchen with a bowl of oatmeal in his hands and slowly fed him like he did when their daughter was a young child. The gesture he did everyday for the past four years always brought a lump to his throat and tears to his eyes.
Once it was apparent that Craig wasn't going to eat anymore, Kyle stood and put the half-empty bowl in the kitchen next to the sink. He grabbed a towel and went back out to Craig; there wasn't much on his face today but there was enough for it to be needing wiped off.
He placed the towel on the small table next to the bookshelf as he grabbed The Tragedy of Julius Caesar, Craig's favorite story when they were in high school and first got together. He sat in a chair next to where his husband sat in the rocking chair and opened it up to the page he left off yesterday. He sighed deeply and looked solemnly at Craig before he started reading.
...
She reads him books, she speaks his name
Oh everyday is much the same
She sighs that sigh from deep within
The one that says she misses him
...
Halfway through the reading for the day, Kyle stopped when Craig's hand found his. His eyes found Craig's, and tears formed in his own eyes as he saw a brief glimmer that he wanted to believe was recognition. He smiled a bit when he realized, as he did everyday, that there was still a part of Craig that knew and loved him.
Kyle wiped his eyes of tears and closed the book. "I think we're done for today Craig." He grabbed Craig's hand and leaned over to plant a chaste kiss on his cheek. He stood. "Um, I'll be right back okay?" He placed the book back on its shelf and walked down the hall to where he was sure Craig wouldn't be able to see him should he look.
More tears found their way to his eyes as he stared at the pictures of the two of them at South Park High's senior prom, at their wedding, and then with their daughter, Alice. He sank down to his knees and cried with his face buried into his hands.
It was only times like now, when he saw just that little bit of recognition and love from his husband, that he broke down and cried. Kyle knew how things could've gone if Craig hadn't gotten Alzheimer's four years ago, and it's been eating away at his mind ever since. Now, Craig was almost completely gone, his mind having been nearly totally deteriorated.
...
She misses his gentle touch and the way he used to make her laugh
She misses the man he was in all those old photographs
So strong, so kind, so sweet, so smart
The man who stole her very heart, she misses him
...
When there was a knock at the door, Kyle wiped his eyes and moved to answer the door, knowing before he reached the door who it was. Him and Craig's adopted daughter, Alice, and her husband, Nicholas, with their two children, Sara and Joshua.
He hugged the blonde woman and the two children, and shook the hand of the brunette man. The same greeting as every Saturday. Nicholas asked how Craig was doing as Alice, Sara, and Joshua walked over to him.
Kyle shook his head. "He seems about the same as last week, but I can see that he's slipping further away."
Nicholas nodded. "I'm sorry to hear that Kyle." He scratched the back of his head almost awkwardly. "So, is there...anything that needs to be done? I saw the grass was a bit high."
Kyle nodded. "Yeah. If you could mow the grass, that'd be great Nicholas."
Alice walked back over to Kyle as her husband went back outside and made his way for the garage where the lawnmower was stored. She left her children to play around at their grandfather's feet. "I'll take the trash out then we can do the dishes, 'kay?"
"Yeah...thank you Alice." Kyle forced a small smile for his daughter. "You and Nicholas have been so wonderful the past four years."
Alice smiled herself. "Of course we'll help out. You're my parents," she glanced back at Craig, "and I only want to help you." She gave Kyle a brief hug before turning to get the trash.
Though that hug was short, Kyle could feel the sorrow in it. He looked over at where his granddaughter and grandson were playing in front of his husband. Dread set even further in when he realized that they would never know more about Craig than him being the man in the rocking chair that they called their grandfather.
...
His children come on Saturday
They're at his feet, his grandkids play
It's sad they don't know him at all
He's just the one they call grandpa
...
Kyle moved as Alice carried the trash out of the front door and he heard the riding lawnmower start up in the backyard.
...
They take out his trash, they mow his lawn
Things he can't do since he's been gone
She's grateful that they're pitching in
And like everyone, she misses him
...
Kyle walked over to Craig and kissed his cheek again. "Craig, do you remember them?" He asked as he gestured to Sara and Joshua, knowing the answer before Craig shook his head muttered out weakly:
"No. Who are they?"
"Sara and Joshua," Kyle said sadly, "our grandchildren."
Craig shook his head once again. "I don't...know them."
Kyle patted Craig's shoulder. "That's okay." He turned and went to the kitchen when Alice entered the house again, tears gleaming in her eyes; she'd seen the exchange between her parents. "Come on, let's get the dishes done," he mumbled as he walked past his daughter.
...
She misses his gentle touch and the way he used to make her laugh
She misses the man he was in all of those old photographs
So strong, so kind, so sweet, so smart
The man who stole her very heart, she misses him
...
It only took a few hours before Alice and Nicholas finished helping around Kyle and Craig's home. They said their goodbyes and promised to be back next Saturday, as always.
Kyle shut the door and wandered back over to Craig. He helped his husband from his rocking chair and led him over to the couch so they could watch TV. It didn't matter how long Craig had been gone from him, Kyle still loved to watch TV with him, and he knew that some part of his once raven-haired husband loved it too.
Once they were sitting, Kyle linked his hand with Craig's and turned on the TV. For that time they watch TV together, Kyle was content and nearly happy; things were almost like they used to be.
A few tears rolled down his cheeks.
...
And yes they're still together after all these years
But sometimes you can almost feel
The sadness in her tears
...
As Kyle felt Craig nodding off, as he did in the afternoon, he stood. "Come on, I'll get you into bed." He helped Craig to his feet and led him to his bedroom. He helped him slowly sit on the bed and before he could help him lay back, Craig asked the usual question:
"Why are you so kind to me?"
Kyle smiled. "Because I love you."
...
She misses his gentle touch and the way he used to make her laugh
...
"...What's your name?"
...
She misses the man he was in all of those old photographs
So strong, so kind, so sweet, so smart
...
"Kyle."
Craig smiled widely. "I won't forget that."
Kyle continued smiling though a lump formed in his throat again and tears rushed to his eyes. "I'm happy that you won't." He helped Craig lay back and stood there until he fell asleep.
...
The man who stole her very heart
...
He turned and left the room, closing the door behind him. He buried his face in his hands and sobbed. Craig would forget when he woke up again, he always did. It was the reason Kyle had to sleep in a different room at night and the reason he's cried himself to sleep every night for nearly four years.
It killed him to see Craig slipping further and further away everyday, but he still loved him and would stay with him until the end. Even if the man he'd originally fallen in love with was no longer present.
...
She misses him