I do not own castle, obviously. Give it a read and let me know what you think.
She stood in front of the mirror. Her eyes were automatically drawn to it and she couldn't help but wonder if his would too. She went through phases. Sometimes she wanted to cover it up and hide it from the world. To hide the fact that she was damaged, broken almost. If people didn't know it was there, they wouldn't treat her differently would they? He treated her differently. Not obviously so but she noticed it. The way he looked at her sometimes, pity mixed with, dare she say it, Love. Then sometimes she wanted to show it off, to show how close she came. To show 'them' that they'd tried but they'd failed, she was still here. She wasn't going anywhere and neither, it would seem, was he.
They'd had 'the talk', it had been inevitable, she could no longer hide it, no longer wanted to. He'd been angry, she couldn't blame him, she'd hidden from him, just like he said she did. He hadn't shown up at the precinct for a week, she'd called him, text him, she even had a go at tweeting him, nothing. She deserved it. But then he'd appeared at her door, unsmiling, with his very own secret. He'd driven her back to his loft and led her into his study without uttering a word, simply placing a remote control in her hand and gesturing towards the flat screen in the corner.
Now it was her turn to be angry. How could he do this? How could he endanger himself like this? Does he even realise what it would do to her if he got himself killed? What it would do to Martha and Alexis? She'd stormed out and still he hadn't said a word. It had been another four days until they'd accidently run into each other, although the fact that they both knew the other liked the coffee here, it was almost certainly on purpose. They'd sat for hours hashing everything out, the 'I love you' the lies, the secrets. When it started to get dark, Kate hadn't wanted to leave. There was more to say, so much more. She'd asked him back to her apartment and had been crestfallen when he'd shaken his head.
"Not tonight Kate. Tomorrow. Let me take you out. On a proper date."
So here she was, here she had been for the last thirty minutes, analysing everything just like she always did. She wanted this. She wanted him and she was more than certain that he wanted her too but she didn't want to mess it up. He was too important to her. She would rather have him in her life as just a friend than not at all as an ex-lover. All she should have been worried about was what she was going to wear. Oh god she thought, what was she going to wear? She glanced at her watch. He had said he would pick her up at 7:30. That gave her an hour. She grabbed her phone and absentmindedly punched out a quick text message. She threw the phone onto her bed and she followed it. That's where she was when there was a knock on the door 10 minutes later.
"Girl tell me you are not wearing a towel?" Lanie blustered past Kate and headed straight for her bedroom. She'd been here enough to know where Kate's closets were and what was contained beneath the antique pine. Kate followed behind her. She remained tight lipped while Lanie pulled dresses and underwear out of the closet and arranged them on the bed.
"How long have we got?"
"Erm….about 45 minutes" She shrugged apologetically at Lanie's glower.
"You have been mentally preparing yourself for this night for nearly 4 years… Do not try and deny it Kate Beckett…how do you not have something to wear?" In honesty, Kate had plenty to wear but nothing felt 'right'. She knew she didn't need to impress him but there was always a small kind of perverse complacency in seeing him stumble over his words like a bumbling Hugh Grant.
"…and what do we have here?" Kate saw Lanie reach into the back of her closet pulling out a bag. It wasn't until Lanie pulled the dress out of the bag that Kate even remembered buying it. It wasn't overly fancy. Black. Long sleeves with a plunging neckline that would most definitely show off her scar. She had seen it in the window of an expensive designer store that she would normally just walk past but it was a few days after Castle had announced that he would be throwing a benefit in honour of her mom and it had just seemed perfect. Simple but classic. Of course she hadn't known then that she would have the remnants of a hole in her chest. She toyed with the soft, jersey fabric before a clearing of the throat had her, yet again, facing Lanie's glare. She was stalling, she knew she was. Without saying a word she headed to the bathroom with the dress in her hand. She'd just pulled the fabric over her head when there was a furious knocking on the bathroom door.
"Kate! He's here!" Lanie hissed through the door.
"Shit! He's early!" She looked at her watch. Half an hour early. He was keen.
"It's okay honey, I'll stall him, just get ready okay?"
"Okay Lanie. Thanks." Now she was nervous. Breathe Kate. This was ridiculous. She saw him every day, they were just going for dinner, they did that all the time right? Oh god.
"Lanie?" He made no move to enter the apartment, confusion apparent all over his face.
"Hey Castle." She moved in a gesture of letting him by her. He had a small bouquet of flowers in his hand that reminded Lanie of Kate, beautiful but totally understated.
"She's just getting ready, no need to panic. She just needed a little help."
"Help? Is she okay?" His concerned face made Lanie's heart ache. He had it bad and she had never seen him so nervous.
"She's fine Castle." She took the flowers from him and motioned for him to sit on the couch. He stumbled over his own feet and landed awkwardly on his hand. Lanie saw him wince but he made no sound.
"You okay there Lover boy?" She couldn't help teasing him but it raised a smile so she didn't feel too bad about it.
"What is it with you two? You've been dancing round each other for god knows how long and now one little date has turned you both to mush."
"Kate's mush?" The smile had turned into a shit eating grin.
"You didn't hear that from me." He mimicked locking his lips and settled back in the couch seeming to relax.
"I'll just go and see how she's getting on." She excused herself and went to find Kate. The bathroom door was still shut. She approached it and lightly knocked on the door.
"Honey? How're you getting on?"
"Can you come in please?"
Lanie opened the door and faltered when she saw Kate.
"Wow. Girl. You. Look. Breath-taking!" Kate visibly relaxed at her friends' reaction.
"Thanks Lanie. Could you just help me with this please?" She handed Lanie a long silver necklace and moved her hair so she could clasp it together.
"I'm happy for you girl, I really am but if you screw this up….I'mma smack you silly!" She smiled at her friend through the bathroom mirror. Kate smiled back but the seriousness of the statement wasn't lost on her.
"Now get out there and make writer boys night!"
Kate took one last look in the mirror and smoothed down her dress. She looked straight at the necklace that hung at just the right length to sit over her scar. She took a deep breath and strode towards the lounge without looking back. Lanie hung back. She desperately wanted to see Castle's reaction but she didn't want to spoil the moment. She sunk into the door jam and watched it unfold in front of her.
Castle got up off the couch as she seemed to float towards him.
"You..look..uh…wow…uh…"
"Richard castle world famous author lost for words? Well this is a moment to remember" She teased him; she couldn't help it, if she was teasing him, she wasn't nervous and that was good. He smiled at her and sighed.
"Beck…Kate. You look beautiful. Really you do. Wow" He wasn't sure if he should hug her, kiss her or just fall at her feet and worship her, this woman was a goddess, pure and simple. He was content to just drink her in. If she sent him away right now it would have been worth it to see this, to see her. He couldn't help raking his eyes over her body, he was sure he was leering but they were moving of their own volition. As he got to her scar his vision clouded. He saw her hold her breath and he quickly met her eyes. He wasn't sure exactly what he saw in them but it propelled him forward and he landed a soft kiss on her cheek, he couldn't help breathing her in, his senses were filled with the scent of sandalwood and something that he was sure was patchouli, he lingered for just a moment longer than necessary but she made no attempt to move away from him.
"Rick…." It was a whisper but it broke through the silence. The use of his first name no longer surprised him but it still sped his heart rate. He reluctantly pulled away and immediately missed the contact.
"You two still here?" Lanie interrupted in an attempt to get them moving and out of the door. She was met with a steely glare from the both of them.
"I'll let myself out" As she let herself out, she turned to Kate and mouthed Call me and shut the door behind her.
And so the were two.
"So, you ready?" Castle offered her his arm in a gentlemanly fashion and she didn't hesitate.
"Let's go Rick."
I'm not overly happy with how this reads on paper, it was so much better in my head, but I had to get it out. The dress that I completely wimped out on describing is the one that Stana wore at the PCAs.