Kid Icarus
The Vengeful Deity
By CR Jones
Disclaimer: Kid Icarus is the property of Nintendo.
Chapter 1: Light Ascends, Darkness Descends
Let the light shine brightly on Angel Land now that darkness has been banished...
Twenty-five summer solstices after the defeat of Hades, the Lord of the Underworld, the darkness began to dwindle and the light gained strength on each passing year. But the balance had been upset and everything was about to be thrown into chaos. This twenty-fifth solstice of summer has been the longest yet, and with no darkness to balance out the light the consequences would be dire for Lady Palutena's subjects. The light was so strong it began to pierce the minds and the bodies of the peoples of Skyworld and the Overworld. The sun shone so brightly it blinded people. The humans began to retreat into the depths of the Underworld, full of lost and lingering souls that have nowhere to go and no great shepherd to herd them. Only small pockets of the Underworld Army remained after all these years. The Forces of Nature flourished as Viridi's children bathed in the strengthened and ever longer daylight, but someday the light will incinerate them too. Darkness can exist without light, but what would become of light without darkness?
After this summer solstice on the twenty-fifth anniversary of the defeat of Hades and the fiftieth anniversary of the defeat of Medusa, Lady Palutena organized a festival to mark this day. It was the Day of Pure Light, and the now leaderless Underworld Army was gathering its strength for a seemingly well organized attack on Skyworld. Some disembodied entity was at work here, guiding the monsters of the Underworld in a seemingly sophisticated attack. The Angel Pit was preparing for battle, the first battle for many years.
"Captain Pit here reporting for duty, waiting to kick some Underwold butt!" Pit said enthusiastically. "I can't wait to see my brand new monster butt-kicking weapon." He announced.
"Well, since you haven't seen much action over these many years, all your old weapons are out of commission." Palutena said. "So I prepared a home-run bat for you, just like the one you used in Super Bash Sisters."
"What?" Pit exclaimed. "You're not serious are you? You can't send me into battle with just a home-run bat!"
"I'm just kidding," Palutena remarked.
"Your jokes are getting stale." Pit said.
"So did your weapons as they aged." Palutena replied.
"Along with your skill. No offence." A familiar, childlike voice announced.
"Viridi?" Pit said. "You haven't changed a bit. Why are you here?"
"After all this time, I still don't know what you see in the humans." Viridi said. "But I sense your hearts are in the right place, misguided as they might be. Me and my children are going to watch with great intent and lots and lots popcorn. And you get none"
"Why?" Palutena asked.
"To see if your flying secret weapon still has what is takes." Viridi said. "Oh, and to make sure the humans don't screw you over. But that's secondary."
"That's not what I meant. Why haven't you saved us any popcorn Viridi?" Palutena asked in disappointment. "Pit, I prepared your old trusted Palutena Bow for you." Palutena said. "Even bow technology has advanced much in twenty-five years, so I made some major upgrades. You know, just like how cellphones get outdated every week."
"And I know you're not exactly getting younger," Viridi added, "so hopefully you can move with the times and understand all the new technology kids are getting into these days. I should know, because after twenty-five years I'm still one. Immortality works wonders you know, although I do have a brain age of 24."
"Thanks." Pit said sarcastically. "I feel really confident now."
Pit began to take flight from Skyworld, guided by the Goddess of Light, Palutena.
"I'm getting too old for this," Pit said. "I'm beginning to get grey hairs here and there."
"I think you've aged very well, compared with humans." Lady Palutena replied.
"And what about your age?" Pit laughed. "The gods must be the oldest, most senile and decrepit beings on Earth!"
"Pit, everyone knows that Gods don't age." Lady Palutena replied.
"Try telling that to Lord Dyntos!" Pit said.
"Out of all the gods, I think I've aged the best." Viridi added.
"So what's your secret in the epic battle against ageing?" Pit inquired.
"A godly amount of anti-ageing cream, antioxidants, make-up and immortality." Lady Palutena replied.
"Please send me some." Pit said. "Can I borrow some hair-dye, too?" Pit said.
"You want a Goddess style green hair?" Palutena said. "I've noticed a grey hair or two on your head through my all seeing Eye of Palutena, but I'm sure nobody else will notice. As long as they're mortal. But if you had green hair like me, then people will start to ask questions. Good thing my brand in exclusive to Goddesses."
"Yes, you definitely got a very unorthodox style going on there, Palutena." Viridi commented.
"I really hope a sequel comes out before I'm an old man and crumble to dust." Pit said.
"I'm sure the fans of the first game would have aged far worse than you by then." Lady Palutena replied. "By then, you would be viewed as a very archaic video game hero!"
"Do you think we're breaking the fourth wall too much?" Pit asked.
"Breaking the fourth wall?" Palutena replied. "I don't know what you're talking about. Anyway, let's focus on the task at hand."
"So what flight path are taking me on this time?" Pit asked. "It's time you filled me in on what you're getting me into."
"The Underworld Army was reduced to little more than a few isolated pockets after the Underworld became leaderless." Palutena said. "But recently they've been regaining strength after years of decline. Some mysterious force seems to be guiding them."
"Medusa?" Pit asked.
"Nah, she was barely more than a cameo in the last game." Palutena replied. "\i don't think we'll see her again anytime soon."
"Hades?" Pit asked. "He promised to return at the end of Uprising."
"He did," Palutena said. "But I don't think that it's likely, or else we'll be hearing his trolling already. But nevertheless, the Underworld troops are attacking some of the most vulnerable human settlements. It's your job to defend them."
"All right," Pit said with confidence, "all you monsters of the Underworld, it's time for you to see the light! I am a servant of the Goddess of Light, Palutena, and her light will overcome all darkness!"
The besieged towns soon appeared on the horizon, along with their Underworld assailants. Pit some came to a rather rough landing.
"Ouch." Pit exclaimed.
"Oh sorry, I forgot about your arthritis." Palutena said.
"Haha, very funny Lady Palutena." He replied.
"Oh, this is great entertainment." Viridi said. "Don't make a fool of yourself, old man."
"Viridi, can I ask you something?" Palutena said. "Are you trying to fill the void left behind by the great Lord of the Trolls himself, Hades?"
"Well, you know, in a way I miss the guy." Viridi said. "He was loud and obnoxious, but his trolling really kept the banter alive."
"Servants of evil, prepare to meet the light!" Pit exclaimed has he unleashed projectiles of light onto the Underworld forces.
"You have no idea how much I missed hearing that." Viridi said.
"You have no idea how much I missed saying that." Pit replied.
"Things seem to be going swimmingly so far." Palutena said.
"Not bad for an old man, huh Viridi?" Pit said confidently as more and more Underworld troops fell.
From afar, two mysterious creatures watched intently as Pit battled with the Underworld. Their origin was shrouded in enigma, their very nature cryptic and their plans even more so.
"Our plan is going exactly as our mistress predicted." One of the creatures said.
"On this last summer solstice, darkness will return to Angel Land." The other creature said.
"The balance has been upset. The light shines too strongly and is burning up Angel Land. The people of Angel Land will very soon reject light and turn to darkness."
"And then, Skyworld will succumb to darkness. Light cannot exist without darkness, but darkness can exist without light as darkness is merely the absence of light."
"The day that darkness will consume all draws near!"
"And as the prophecy clearly states, that day will start when darkness will engulf the Goddess of Light herself. And then, all the lights in the universe will go out, permanently. This solstice marks the final countdown to Life's Nightfall! These fools will begin to understand that they cannot reject darkness."
A new war was forming in the shadows. The Final War. Who are these mysterious creatures and what do they have to do with the resurgence of the Underworld Army?