Chapter 1: The Big Mistake
It was a very beautiful day in Ponyville; Celestia's sun was shining, the birds were flying about, and the flowers were all in bloom. Splashes of reds and blues and yellows were everywhere. A blue bird decided to fly down and pick up a sandwich that somepony had dropped, but the sandwich was to heavy for the little thing to carry, so it just made do with a little bite of the bread and flew off.
Then, all of a sudden, a dark gray earth pony walked out of his house, which looked just like all the others in Ponyville, only the lawn was just a blackened patch of dirt, and the house was entirely painted (or charred) black. He had a dark gray coat, black mane with an orange streak which he had combed back in a kind of mullet, a slightly short tail with a similar orange streak, and a cutie mark that looked like a cartoony explosion. He was holding a little cloth pouch with a string coming out of the top, and a book of matches. He then proceeded to an old abandoned dirt field, where he put the pouch down and took out a match, and he was about to strike it when...
"Hand Grenade, wait!" cried a very sweet and innocent sounding female voice.
"For what, you'll just take the bomb away!" Hand Grenade called back. His voice was rather high pitched for someone his age, but not anywhere close to Justin Beiber level. He turned around, only to be rammed into by a sky blue pegasus mare with a pink mane and a cutie mark that looked like a marijuana leaf, who landed right in his face. She smelled of marijuana, cocain, rotten meat, and used kitty litter.
"Crystal, what the hay?" Hand Grenade struggled to get this out because her leg was cutting off his breathing because it was sitting on his neck, a pose she had not quite intended to land in, but what happened happened.
"Hey, Lemon Blossom told me to," she said defensively. Her voice was dragging a little bit, as though she were on a lot of marijuana, and it was kind of hoarse, too, and her pupils were very dilated.
"No I didn't!" screamed the sweet sounding pony, Lemon Blossom. She was a pale yellow unicorn with a bright yellow mane in a very cute looking manecut, and a cutie mark of a beautiful lemon flower. "I told you to stop him before he got hurt!"
"Which meant tackle him!" Crystal screamed back at her, and she got off of Hand Grenade.
"Crystal Meth, what are we gonna do with you," Lemon said sarcastically. "And don't say to give you more weed! I'm tired of you asking that!"
"Anyway," Hand Grenade started, only to be interrupted by Lemon Blossom.
"Why are you out here? What were you doing? Don't you know these explosives are dangerous? Remember the incident with the onion!"
That time with the onion was an especially hilarious one. One day, about two years ago now, Hand Grenade had hollowed out the inside of an onion, filled it with gunpowder, attached a fuse, lit it, and realized he hadn't let go of it, all in that order. He was extremely lucky to get out of that with only a broken rib and a slightly burned hand. That wasn't the first time one of his "experiments" went wrong, though. In fact, every time he lights a fuse, it goes wrong somehow, whether it was him being an idiot or the bomb just didn't go off the right way (or at all).
"Relax, Lemon," he said. "I learned from my mistakes. What could possibly go wrong?"
"You never know, Hand Grenade," replied Lemon Blossom, now taking a sip of the lemonade she had brought in a small leather saddlebag she always carries at her side.
"Just let me do this, and Crystal!" called Hand Grenade, looking at Crystal, who was playing with the bomb. "Get over here! I don't trust you with that bag."
Crystal Meth reluctantly yet obediently put down the pouch and flew over to Lemon Blossom, who was already seeking cover for when this when awry. Hand Grenade then took out a new match, struck it, lit the fuse, and this time remembered to get the hay away from the bomb. He had made the fuse for fifteen seconds, so he had plenty of time to get away from it. He regrouped with the others and watched the fuse get shorter. It quickly disappeared behind the cloth of the pouch. The fuse should hide in the pouch for at most five seconds. He counted, one, two, three, four..., FIVE! Nothing. No boom-boom. They all waited for about another fifteen seconds, and nothing happened.
"Well," sighed Hand Grenade, "that must be how I messed up this one." He walked over to his creation to clean it up, but just after he had taken three steps it went off. BOOM! It was bigger than he had expected. It almost burned his mane. Huge clumps of dirt were flying everywhere, and one of the larger ones hit Crystal square in the head.
After the explosion was over, Crystal exclaimed, "Let's do that again!" and she collapsed, knocked unconscious by the huge rock that impacted with her head.
"Uh, I don't think we should, Crystal," said Hand Grenade, and with that Crystal was up and about again, asking why. "That's why," he replied, and pointed to the odd looking statue of a male alicorn with a glowing crystal ball on the base.
Just then, a beam of purplish light shot to the heavens from the statue, and along it rode a purplish figure that vaguely resembled a pony. The figure then materialized into an alicorn almost identical to the statue. He had a white coat, gray mane, and a cutie mark of a large, black sword.
"I AM DEMONIUS!" said this alicorn in the Royal Canterlot Voice entwined with a slight English accent. He looked at Hand Grenade. "AND NOW THAT YOU HAVE FREED ME, I SHALL WREAK HAVOC ON THIS PITIFUL LAND, AND NOTHING SHALL STOP ME! GRA HA HA HA!"
"So, THAT'S how I mess this one up," said Hand Grenade.