Just a short oneshot idea I decided to write up, originating from a small plot bunny and an incident with a friend.
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Was that a Wedgie!?
It was like any other day for Clint Barton, the Avengers' resident marksmen known for his love of purple, except today, he woke up to find toilet paper covering his room, almost painting it white in the process.
"Van Dyne." He growled under his breath, having already figured out who the culprit was. For a while now, Jan's taken to pulling pranks on the other Avengers, from filling Carol's sock drawer with mashed potato, to replacing the paint in Tony's armour supply with bright and glittery pink and yellow paint, to taking the screws out of his bow so it would collapse and hit him in the face when he tries to pull it back during training.
Clint pulled himself out of his bed and threw on his clothes, before heading to the kitchen to sit down on a chair, only for the chair to collapse.
"How does someone so small get so annoying at times?" Clint wondered to himself as he got up, sittig on a different chair, only for that one to collapse as well. "Oh for the love of...!"
"Sup Hawkeye." Wasp waved to him as she entered the kitchen, humming as she does so and grabbing some cereal, a bowl, some milk, and a spoon, making the bowl and shrinking down to eat it in peace. "No need to sleep on the floor there, you have a bed."
"Don't start." Clint muttered in reply, pulling himself up. "Remind me to get you back for all this."
"All what? I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about." The miniaturized girl responds with a smug grin on her face, while happily munching on her cereal.
"Just wait; you're not the first person who's made my chairs collapsed or filled my room with something silly." Clint warned her, leaving the kitchen while he still has some dignity. Jan swings her legs about on the side of the table as he walks away, eating the rest of her cereal until he hears the sound of the shower running, and Clint singing inside, making her giggle as she flutters towards the sink.
Clint's singing soon turns to yelps of pain, however, as she turns the two taps on and off, making him both cold and boiling hot on a whim.
"Janet!"
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As the day passes, Clint walked into the recreational room while reading a book of some kind, not paying much attention to the outside world, and oblivious to the other Avengers around him, until he hears a noise that, loudly, sounds like flatulence, coming from the sitting Vision, the one who lacks any way to actually pass flatulence. Clint, and the nearby Tony and Carol, all raised an eyebrow as the synthezoid got up, looking back at his seat to see a whoopee cushion, which he then picked up in confusion, as Wasp started holding her sides laughing.
"Oh, I didn't think that would actually work!" She giggled, while Clint rolls his eyes, then gets an idea.
Before Jan can react, Clint had jumped on her back, forcing her onto the sofa and sitting on her back.
"Clint! Get your butt off my back!" Jan yelped out, kicking a bit as her legs hung off the side of the sofa arm, making her waist stick up into the air.
"Toldya I'd get you back." Clint smirked, before looking up to the others. "Hey, ladies and gentlemen, and Tony, how many of you have been pranked or teased by young miss Van Dyne here in the last month?" Clint asked the group, who just look at him bemused before slowly raising their hands. "Well, how many of you have gotten so tired of her pranks that you wish there was a solution, one that doesn't involve ropes or chemicals?" They stay raised. "Well, I bet you all thought that no solution would come, but I tell you that's not true."
"Clint, what are you doing?" Tony asked him, tilting his head to the side.
"You see, older brothers invented a method to deal with unruly younger brothers and sisters a long time ago, a method that, as a younger brother, I know from personal experience to be particularly efective." Clint continued, looking back at Wasp's lower back as he tries to figure out how to do this without having to be invasive. Eventually he decides to simply start by pulling the back of her uniform's skirt up.
"Whatever you're doing Clint, I better not have to call the cops!" Jan yelled, kicking still and struggling to move as hr arms are pinned to the sofa by her own body.
"Relax, nothing you wouldn't do to family." He assured he as he reaches into hr unifom's leggings, before pulling some kind of yellow material up.
"Eeeyk!" Wasp yelped, her legs kicking hard once more before going stiff and her eyes going wide. "Clint Barton, was that a wedgie!?" Jan asked him with a confused, slightly pained, and childishly annoyed tone, as her yellow panties, panties that also had black, bee-like stripes on, are pulled up her behind, while the remaining Avengers can't help but laugh a bit at her expense.
"Maybe, some places all it a Melvin." Clint grinned, leaning back and pulling up. "See, ladies and gentlemen? The annoying pipsqueak we know and love is now taken care of, in a manner that won't leave any lasting damage. Though, sitting might be difficult for a few hours."
"Maybe we should do something?" Tony asked Carol, stifling his laughter as the Avengers' youngest founding member continues to be pinned down and wedgied.
"I would, but after she superglued my closet shut, I think I'd be too tempted to help Clint." Carol shrugged, instead just watching it continue.
For a few minutes, the other Avengers watch until they get bored, to which they leave and let Clint continue, until he himself gets bored and hs to finally get up and let go.
"Owie." Janet mumbled, rolling off the sofa and onto the floor, a Clint starts laughing himself a bit.
"Think I sold them on that idea." Clint mused to himself as Jan got up, struggling to shove her underwear back in.
"For the love of, thanks a lot Clint, now I'm going to need some tweezers!" Jan yelled at him, making him laugh more.
"Don't be so dramatic, its not that bad. Me and my brother did it all the time, and I did it to Morse whenever I got bored back in SHIELD. Not Nat though, tried it once, she broke my hand, then broke it back into place so I couldn't get time off for injury."
"Sorry, didn't catch that, I was busy trying to get my undies out of my behind!" Jan yelled, glaring at him with annoyance.
"You had it coming. Now, remember little Wasp, if I wake up to find my room entered without permission, those granny panties I just hiked pp are going over your head, kapeesh?"
"I am SO getting payback for this!"
"And I'm bored now, so on TV we go." Clint ignored the threat, turning on some TV show, s she sat down with a pout, and a pained discomfort that kept her from getting comfy.
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Well, that's it. Hope you enjoyed it. If enough people like it I may write a sequel or something, either Jan getting her revenge or, possibly, some sort of big epic wedgie war between the two. Depending on the reception. So, reviews please.